The "right" age / time to have kids?!?

You are never "ready" and the time is never "right" it just happens! Parenting is a learning experience the entire time! You learn from your mistakes, you learn from your kids, you learn from other parents etc...

I was ready long before my husband so I took the plunge and told him it was time. He was not at all ready but he got there in time...he is an awesome dad!

Also, age is only a number...who cares about that! I like the fact that I will be a young parent...I have more energy to keep up with my kids BUT young parents often have more stress and less patience.

I was 23 when my oldest was born had a miscarriage the year before at 22. I was 27( had turned 27 2 months before she was born) when my youngest was born. I have 3 girls so 3 kids in 4 short years..no biggie! The last one was a huge surprise and we found out we were pregnant again before the middle one had even turned 1 year old! Life changed a bit with that but we survived and wouldn't change any of it!
If you keep waiting until you are totally ready it will never happen! You are never ready for the challenges, joys, pain, and mysteries of parenting! You just do your best and end up being surprised by the amazing things you will accomplish and endure..plus who can resist the sweet smell of a newborn baby with all those tiny little fingers and toes?

You only seem concerned about how the baby will affect your life, and are not taking into consideration creating the best circumstances for the child.

:noway:

Warning...I am not trying to be holier than thou, as I did not wait to have sex until I was married, haha...but...if you are having sex than you are saying you are ready, because there is never a 100% chance that whatever birth control you are using is going to keep you from getting pregnant. That said, I was 27 when I became pregnant with my first and only son...was I ready? Hell no. But when I had him, I was. He's going to be 6 in April...he rocks!

I agree there is a certain truth in that, but having a baby accidentally is different to making a conscious decision to. If you get pregnant accidentally, well, you just have to suck it up and live with it, even if it's not ideal, but the OP seems to be talking about when is the ideal age.

You don't even know yourself yet when you are 21. I'm glad I've waited to have kids. I've had so many amazing experiences that I wouldn't have been able to if I'd had kids early.

You only seem concerned about how the baby will affect your life, and are not taking into consideration creating the best circumstances for the child.

:noway:

In all fairness, being concerned for how a baby will affect your life is a good concern to have. If you're too concerned that a baby will affect you negatively if you were to have one now and make the decision to postpone pregnancy, then having that concern proves beneficial to both you and said potential baby.

I wouldn't even THINK of having kids with a man unless I had the same last name that he does. Wouldn't happen here. That's it, that's all as far as I'm concerned.

I'm going to be 29 years old in a couple days, & I STILL don't feel ready to be a Mom. I'm waiting for my ring, & the man I'm with knows I want kids (someday)... but he's in no rush either at age 33.

My advice to you:

Do you know anyone with kids? Would they let you watch them for a couple of days/nights, just to try it out? It's a BIG decision on a lifestyle change, & if you're ready, looking after someone else's kids for a weekend will tell you. If you go INSANE, & can't handle it & end up in tears? You'll know it's not the right time for you. If you have fun, & really like having them around regardless of the Lego/Cheerios/Raisins mess on your clean floor, & you can giggle at the water all over the bathroom floor at bath time because they had so much fun splashing around, & if the crayon etched into your kitchen table doesn't bug you.... you're good. You're ready. Go ahead.

Me? I was pulling my hair out at Cheerios.

Don't kid yourself here though! I was totally ready but my kids still drive me insane from time to time! I have NOTHING in my home that does not in some way have the markings of children on it! Other people's kids are not a fair judgement of how your OWN children are going to act either! People raise their kids totally different. There are days that no matter how they are raised they still go absolutely bonkers for no reason at all and there are days you have to stop and stare at them in awe because you have NEVER seen your children behave so nicely! Just like everything in life...some days ar bad....and some days are VERY, VERY bad.....and every now and then you get a good day!

The right age is when you are ready to accept the total responsibility of it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

When you have done the things you want to do for yourself. You probably won't ever feel mature enough to have children (until you do), but when it gets to the point where you have done all the selfish stuff and you feel "what more is there in life?", that's where children come in. They are the purpose you are looking for. I had my first at 28, and I felt that was about right. I was very immature before then, even though I was married and owned my own house at 22, I wasn't grown up enough to be responsible for a baby. At 28 I was young enough not to die of tired (just) but old enough to have done everything I had wanted to and not have any regrets.

I like this answer! I had my son at 27 ... pregnant at 26! I knew I didn't want to wait too much later and although I knew I would be in a single parent situation, the time was right for me. I had done all of my selfishness (drinking/partying) and wanted a greater purpose! It's over said I know, but a baby is a lot of work, and it takes all of your time so do what you guys want to do while you can, and when you are ready for "something more", you'll know. Don't have a baby because you feel pressured. That will only cause rensentment!

I think 21 is pretty young too, you have a LOT of time to decide to have kids. I believe that there's never a PERFECT TIME but there are really good times to have a child.

I was married for 5 years when we had our first (and only) child. I was 24 and I think even that was a little young for us (my husband is 6 years older than I am).

When I knew it was time to start trying I just KNEW it in my heart that NOW was the time to try for a child, much different from the "should we, shouldn't we" convos that came before. So I just believe that there comes a point when you know that NOW is the time.

I love having an only child (who's now 5) and there will be no more children in our future by choice (permanent decisions made already) and I feel it gives us the best of both worlds, having a child and still having a small family to spend time and money and the ease of going places and doing things with just one child.

I'm now a nursing student and school is tough with a child but doable too. I got to stay home with him when he was a baby and really enjoyed it.

And while I was married very young and love that I'm another one that would NOT consider having a child until we'd been married several years, there just is a difference between being boyfriend/girlfriend and married. I realize a lot of marriages don't last forever but it's more likely to last than a boy/girlfriend (even long term) because being married just feels different IMO. And marriage can be any type of "lifetime commitment ceremony" for me too, but something that tells the world that you're together permanently.