How do you tell your friend....??

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  • pfeiferfit
    pfeiferfit Posts: 138 Member
    I'm not going to say I believe the science in this but some of it makes sense-
    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/25/health/25iht-fat.4.6830240.html?pagewanted=all

    Obesity is contagious, as is health. Hopefully through your healthy choices your friend will make healthier choices. And hopefully as she makes unhealthy choices around you, you can remember that they're not the ones you want to make.

    Additionally, I'd read her the calorie count of her favorite meal, which may lose her as a friend, but it may also make her open her eyes at some point. I know mcD's "nutritional" info scares the pants off of me.
  • pfeiferfit
    pfeiferfit Posts: 138 Member
    weird double post...
  • Breadbar
    Breadbar Posts: 333 Member
    I have to agree with Lozze - I don't think there is anything you can say. Mention this website in conversation and show successful behavior by example, and maybe something will click for her. She already knows she is making poor choices just by the poor outcome. At some point you may have to choose to stop listening to her complaints. Be sure you don't allow her to derail your success!
  • Maggieq87
    Maggieq87 Posts: 400 Member
    I haven't read all the replies, but if someone is talking about their weight all the time, she probably just doesn't know any better. I would take the opportunity to talk about it when she brings it up, Tell her the science of it, Calories in, calories out. You know? I think that f she's talking about it all the time, she's almost asking for advice.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    real friends tell friends when they are messing up. ive had friends tell me that i need to eat better, exercise, lose weight etc... i never once thought of getting mad at them. in fact i appreciate it.
  • 3ur3ka
    3ur3ka Posts: 230 Member
    I would be completely honest with her. Tell her you're genuinely concerned about her health. It might hurt her feelings, but sometimes that is a risk you have to take.
    I've always told me friends " if I ever get that big put me down and feed me to the poor"....Little did I know, I was already that big. I think if any one of my friends or family said something to me at all about me weight, I would have gotten on the bandwagon so much earlier.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Lead by example.
  • Kris10can
    Kris10can Posts: 103
    You know what is funny...I have always been the "fat" friend....I don't think I have a single friend in my real life social network who is overweight! It's always been tricky being "me" with a group of beautiful friends....and I loathe the term "DUFF". I found that word more offensive than anything else. I have always struggled with my weight...and the shocking thing is that I have a healthier diet than my friends. I have definitely had friends come up to me before concerned about my weight,....and it was never something I wanted to hear. I know I am fat....duh!! I do have photographic evidence and a mirror to remind me of my shape and size every single day! But ultimately, regardless of size, getting healthy and implementing a healthier lifestyle is crucial to one's own well-being! I feel better when I eat right and when I exercise....but it is sooo easy to be "comfortable" doing exactly what you are doing and not making any changes....rather than LIVING your friend is just EXISTING! I think being honest with your friend is the best thing that you can do....I agree with tough love in a gentler approach! And also, leading by example is a great thing to do for yourself and for your friend! Focus on you and your own success....and I hope (when ready) your friend will follow and use your hard will and motivation as an inspiration to get started.

    Maybe you should just tell her to create a profile on MFP...use it for a couple of days....Just so she can monitor her calorie intake and to have evidence of the calories, fat, sodium and other $h!t that she is ingesting!! It may be enough of a wake up call for her to know that she does need to make some changes!! She may even be able to relate to some of the other individuals on this site who are struggling!
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
    Okay before i begin i might sound a bit not so nice but my question was how do you tell your friend that if she's going to keep eating what she's eating like McDonald's and stuff, she's not going to loose weight! She complains about her weight 24/7 but yet eats the most junk food stuff you would think off!!

    Unless she's a complete idiot, she knows that what she's eating isn't going to help her lose weight. She doesn't need you to tell her this (unless, like I said, she's a complete idiot). If you are exasperated about her complaints, then just tell her "Quit complaining and do something about it!", which I think would be more effective than preaching to her about what she should and should not eat, IMO.
  • Kel3369
    Kel3369 Posts: 83 Member
    Face it. She's not going to change until she is ready to and something in her life makes her really want it. You can say all you want but she won't hear it. Just keep doing what you are doing for you and set an example she can't miss. When she is ready she will be lucky enough to have a good friend to show her how to do it right. Good luck! :)
  • WhitneyJerome
    WhitneyJerome Posts: 80 Member
    I use to complain and whine about my weight all the time to my husband (this started well before we were married). I mean I could complain about my weight all I wanted but when someone else would mention it I would get pissed. So finally my husband got tired of me complaining all the time and said "Babe, I think your beautiful but if you don't like the way you look then why don't you do something about it?" So I did =)
  • netty1959
    netty1959 Posts: 46
    I honestly think the best thing to do hun is let her get on with it, when she see the commitment and the changes in your weight that you will be having, she might wake up and do something herself, she as got to want to do it for her rather than other people wanting it for her so she will try harder to stick to it
  • mariewithers
    mariewithers Posts: 27
    I was over 300lb, I have mirrors in my home and i knew I was massive. I hated anyone to suggest ways to diet to me. I honestly believe I was addicted to food, and constantly battling hunger. It was very real. There is no way I could have maintained a weight loss for any length of time, in the end you just think "why bother, it takes months of hard work to lose weight then it all comes back on bringing with it a few friends" It's so disheartening. The only cure for my addiction was a gastric bypass.
    Just be a friend and let your friend live her own life. Trust her to do what's right for her when she decides.It makes no difference to you what she eats or where.
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