Not feeling supported at all.
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Reality is relative only to those who create it. All I did was ask a question.
Glad you have a personal trainer and a doctor though...and best of luck in training school.0 -
I've been thinking about it, and I now know why I walked away from my weightloss forums including MFP for the last 4 months or so. (To the detriment of my waistline…I've gained 15lbs of fluffiness since I ran my marathon in the end of September.)
I feel really egocentric saying this, but it’s truly how I feel.
I have a hard time feeling supported by the communities (especially MFP and the forums on other food-tracking websites). I mean, I felt supported by a different (non-food-tracker related) forum when I was 270lbs plus and desperately trying to break into one-derland…
But then I realized I’m COMPLETELY HEALTHY AND HAPPY at a weight/height ratio that so many people seem completely horrified to be. I was REALLY happy and fit at 185-190 (the weight I was while training/running my marathon). My current goal is 180 (lighter than I’ve ever been, seriously) and is just *over* the cusp of obese for my height. I think the cutoff is 178 or something. Women who are bigger than me (like I used to be) have goal weights of “whatever the BMI says” and women who are smaller (or the same weight) as me have goal weights of “whatever the BMI says” and I feel like a freak over here with my head exploding because if I got to the weight the BMI says (120-155) without losing muscle mass I’d have a bodyfat percentage of less than 10% and I’d look like a skin-and-bones freak. Not to mention being an emotional monster from the horrific dietary restrictions I’d have to put myself through! (YES, I do test my body fat percentage on a regular basis, and NO, I am not exaggerating.)
But there’s so many people who are my height (or close) and they are like ”I’m a fat monster! I weigh 160lbs!”
I don’t believe that the BMI is right. I believe we shouldn’t be focusing so hard on weight, but focusing much more on fitness and healthy, nutritious eating! I believe that most people can (and maybe should) be carrying more MUSCLE weight than the BMI allows. Some weight might come off in the fitness/health journey (depending on your journey) but weightloss shouldn’t be the goal, or we risk losing muscle mass...and we all know and agree that losing muscle mass is very bad news, right??
Each person's goals will always be different... sorry to say, but weight loss IS the primary goal for me.... its the goal of many of the MFP folks in my friend's list as well... I dont get bent out of shape over it, but I am getting INTO shape (LOL), and with the help of an amazing team of doctors working with me, doing routine tests, allergy/sensitivity checks and such, Ive gone alot further in the last six months, than in the past 15 or more years with other doctors who actually made things worse.
Im not trying to be rude here but, why are you so concerned about what others say about their own weight-loss endeavors? Who cares? If they want to submit to drama, let them...they will only hurt theirselves in the process because they just cant deal with reality very well. Or worse, some who are psychologically scarred into thinking they are so bad off, like some of the people you exampled earlier.
People use MFP for their own reasons... honestly, I could care less if I get support from anyone here because Im not looking for it. Im here, using MFP under the guidance of three doctors working with me. My husband is 100% behind me on the changes that had to be made at home, and thats all I need...and no one else....
If you allow yourself to be consumed by others, you will in turn lose focus on your own weight loss endeavors thus being your own worst enemy.... dont get sucked into other people's problems and/or drama and dont let it bother you.... it only becomes a problem if you allow it to continue to do so....they arent worth it...0 -
I agree with what you wrote. My goal is 165 pounds. I agree the forums there are so many people who "start" at 165...many my height. I basically just think to myself, "Ok, good for you, that's your journey and mine is different"...When I was 165 in high school I looked great. Of course, I didn't think so and wanted to be 140 lbs or smaller. I could never seem to break 160 no matter how hard I tried. I was on diets and obsessed with fitness and bought every book and magazine on the subject.. Now that I let myself get to be 285 (gasp), I realize that for me, my journey leads me back to 165. I may be size 14, but size 14 isn't all that bad. I could still essentially shop in most stores whereas now I have to go Lane Bryant just because size 2-3x in department stores usually fits like 1x would. After 10 years I have embraced my body. I am more comfortable in it than I was when I was my "skinnier" self. But I have chosen not to stay overweight...obese...I think coming to terms with losing weight for me helped me shed the "I need to be 145 to be healthy BMI" I try not to compare myself to others. I think some do look good (better) at 125-145, etc. But that probably won't be me. If I get to 165 and say, "you know I can go further" I will,but I am not going to make that my first goal. My goal is one-derland and I can't wait to taste it! Ok, well not taste it....LOLOLOL0
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Are you not feeling supported or are you just struggling to find people that agree exactly with your viewpoint?0
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I'm not really sure why you posted this, it's as if you want people to respond and then are bothered that not everyone agrees with you?
If your MFP friends don't have the same goals as you and that bothers you...get new MFP friends. Or don't choose to have MFP friends, there's no law saying you need to have friends on here, or to post your height/weight or even your "ticker" if you don't want to...It is not a reflection on you if someone who is your same height/weight wants to be a size smaller, why do you care what weight someone else is happy at?...if you're truly happy with where you are, great! if they want to lose a few more pounds to be a different size, great! I don't get why so many people feel the need to put others down for having different thoughts and goals. We are all different people and hey--that's what makes this a wonderful world to live in.
Good luck with your continued journey to health and fitness.0 -
Are you not feeling supported or are you just struggling to find people that agree exactly with your viewpoint?
Thank you! OP, please don't post how you feel the forums are too critical and unsupportive when you're not even accepting support and advice when its given to you. I'm an exercise science major with a minor in food sciences, a fitness instructor at the local gym, in training to become a certified personal trainer, and volunteer at an outpatient physical therapy clinic - so please don't rate my opinions/perspectives as "uneducated".0 -
You mean after a page of posts supporting you, right?AAAAAND my point has been made.
I notice that when I look for something I usually find it.
You have stated you are happy with your goals. You have stated that you know that when others talk of wanting to reach a scale or BMI goal, they aren't talking to you. How are you not feeling supported?
If you are making healthy choices and are happy, I certainly support you.0 -
I'm sorry you don't feel supported. I tend to steer clear of discussions where people are bemoaning not losing fast enough or being unable to get down to some kind of dream weight. My goals are more fitness and accomplishment related than weight related. In fact, I don't even have a goal weight although I do have a goal pant size. But that's a side goal and the other stuff is far more important to me. Anyway, I find there are a lot of folks here at MFP more concerned with fitness than a magic number on the scale. Maybe you could seek out those folks and just ignore the others?
I do feel the need to add that whenever you lose weight, no matter how slowly you lose it, no matter how much you work out while losing, and no matter how nutritiously you eat, you also lose muscle. Working out, especially strength training, will help you keep more of it so the ratio of fat to muscle loss is greater. But if you have lost around 100# then, yeah, a lot of that was muscle.
Anyway, we all look different at different weights, especially when body composition is factored in. If you are happy at your current weight, size, level of fitness, etc., don't sweat it. To be honest, I think it sounds like you're negatively judging those who have a goal that's far less than you do and I have to wonder why. It's very possible to lose to a lower BMI while still maintaining muscle mass, fitness and, yes, curves without starving oneself. I don't think you should negatively judge those who choose to do this anymore than you feel you are being negatively judged for not wanting to do so.
The bottom line, imho, is that we should all do what is best for ourselves and not worry about what anybody else is doing. Unless we someone truly doing something unhealthy, that is. But I don't think that's the case with your goals or with the goals of many of those who want to go lower than you do.
Well said.0 -
Also, I'm going to school to become a personal trainer.
I currently lift 2x a week, I do yoga 1x a week, and I do another 120min of cardio each week.
And I am solidly in the "obese" category but I have a BodyComp of 29%.
I was pretty darned flabby at 29%. Just sayin'.
But if you're happy with that, then why do you care if I'm not? My goals and personal thoughts about MY body have nothing to do with you. People can support your goals for YOU without copying them for themselves.
The biggest problem I see with this forum is that too many people are too worried about what everyone else is doing. Unless what I'm doing is going to cause me major health problems and is dangerous (anorexia, bulimia or trying to eat myself to 1,800 pounds), then why are you so hung up on it? Why does MY wanting to be 115 pounds have any effect on what YOU want?0 -
Also, I'm going to school to become a personal trainer.
I currently lift 2x a week, I do yoga 1x a week, and I do another 120min of cardio each week.
And I am solidly in the "obese" category but I have a BodyComp of 29%.
I was pretty darned flabby at 29%. Just sayin'.
But if you're happy with that, then why do you care if I'm not? My goals and personal thoughts about MY body have nothing to do with you. People can support your goals for YOU without copying them for themselves.
The biggest problem I see with this forum is that too many people are too worried about what everyone else is doing. Unless what I'm doing is going to cause me major health problems and is dangerous (anorexia, bulimia or trying to eat myself to 1,800 pounds), then why are you so hung up on it? Why does MY wanting to be 115 pounds have any effect on what YOU want?
Couldn't have said it better. I was 28% at 162 and wasn't ecstatic at my body then, but OP, if you are, that's great
Don't worry about what others' goals are We're all here for our own reasons and have different goals. 0 -
Because for the majority of women, the excess weight they are carrying is mostly fat. For the majority of people BMI is a good indicator of that.I know they aren't intentionally judging ME when they post about how crappy they feel at whatever weight they are, but I want to scream at them "HEY LOOK AT ME! I'm super fit and I weigh more than you! Why are you so focused on your weight?!?!?!"
If you are carrying a lot of muscle, that's fantastic, and I know how hard you must have worked to get there. I've only managed to build a small amount so far.
But please don't expect everyone to fit in with you because you really are in the minority.0 -
This is kind of my New Year's resolution. I'm going to stop focusing on the scale, and just focus on improving my body composition. I figure the number on the scale will adjust itself accordingly. I have to lose another 20 lbs to no longer be obese, but my weight loss has slowed down and I don't think I can lose anymore without losing muscle. So that is my new fitness focus. Change the composition of my body and let the scale do what it does.0
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I hate the BMI scale. I have the same issue. If I was at the lower end of healthy BMI for my height, I would weigh 130lbs and my body fat % would be 6%. I am not a professional athlete and this is not attainable or even desirable for me. My doctor wanted me to shoot for that and I changed doctors. The new one suggests 150. That would put me at upper end of BMI for healthy, but at a body fat percentage of like 15% (i think). I have a smallish frame too, so I can imagine that someone of my same height with a larger frame would need to shoot for 170-180 and would still be very healthy. I am 5'9" and some change. I never want to be down to 130. I have seen someone with my frame at 130 and i was concerned for her health. She has settled around 145 and looks amazing and healthy and seems like she has more life and vibrancy.0
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im 5'6 172 to 175 and perfectly happy with my weight where it is0
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Also, I'm going to school to become a personal trainer.
I currently lift 2x a week, I do yoga 1x a week, and I do another 120min of cardio each week.
And I am solidly in the "obese" category but I have a BodyComp of 29%.
I was pretty darned flabby at 29%. Just sayin'.
But if you're happy with that, then why do you care if I'm not? My goals and personal thoughts about MY body have nothing to do with you. People can support your goals for YOU without copying them for themselves.
The biggest problem I see with this forum is that too many people are too worried about what everyone else is doing. Unless what I'm doing is going to cause me major health problems and is dangerous (anorexia, bulimia or trying to eat myself to 1,800 pounds), then why are you so hung up on it? Why does MY wanting to be 115 pounds have any effect on what YOU want?
Couldn't have said it better. I was 28% at 162 and wasn't ecstatic at my body then, but OP, if you are, that's great Don't worry about what others' goals are We're all here for our own reasons and have different goals.
^^ This! Everyone's body is different and so are their goals. 165 may be great for one person but it may look big on another. This site isn't about everyone having the same goal and bashing those who don't. It's about supporting one another for their own personal goals. I am friends with people on here that have a lot more weight to lose and a lot less weight to lose than me. I can relate to each of them on a different level. Judging people on their personal goals is NOT supportive. If you want to be 175 lbs, then I would support you on that, but don't bash me because I am 166 and want to be 130. Its my body. Its my life.0 -
I'm 5 ft 7in and I'm close to 175-177lbs--I feel great, could use toning--I'm still what most people call overweight. MFP says I need to weigh in the 150's--my doctor says that those charts are usually crazy--if you're EARNESTLY following your program & your body stops losing weight then that is the weight your body should be. I was surprised to hear a doctor say this, but it makes sense. If you are truly making the healthy changes for your body & you feel great, who cares what others say & what the nasty scale says. You are the one that matters, you are the one that needs to feel good in your skin.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Good for you! It's not weight or BMI for me ... it's waistline. I'm working to fit into a size pants I feel comfortable in. I don't care where the weight ends up. And I'm building a lot of muscle mass as I work toward my goals, so weight really is not a good benchmark to use.0
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I hate the BMI scale. I have the same issue. If I was at the lower end of healthy BMI for my height, I would weigh 130lbs and my body fat % would be 6%. I am not a professional athlete and this is not attainable or even desirable for me. My doctor wanted me to shoot for that and I changed doctors. The new one suggests 150. That would put me at upper end of BMI for healthy, but at a body fat percentage of like 15% (i think). I have a smallish frame too, so I can imagine that someone of my same height with a larger frame would need to shoot for 170-180 and would still be very healthy. I am 5'9" and some change. I never want to be down to 130. I have seen someone with my frame at 130 and i was concerned for her health. She has settled around 145 and looks amazing and healthy and seems like she has more life and vibrancy.
6% BF? How was that measured and quantified? Or are you just assuming that's what it WOULD be?
Edited: I get it, you're only assuming that's what your BF% will be - but that's an incorrect assumption. You can't predict BF% based on weight or where you are on the BMI scale. It doesn't work that way. I'm at the lower end of the BMI and at a healthy BF% of 21. 5'9", 134.0 -
All of the carts put my healthy weight at 125. Ummm, my goal is 160. I have never been, nor will I ever weigh 125. I understand how frustrating it can be when others are horrified how they look at your "goal" weight. I try to only accept friends who have the same weight loss style/goals as myself. Hope this helps 0
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I know they aren't intentionally judging ME when they post about how crappy they feel at whatever weight they are, but I want to scream at them "HEY LOOK AT ME! I'm super fit and I weigh more than you! Why are you so focused on your weight?!?!?!"
I've found that many people on this site are totally focused on weight and/or looks, rather than fitness or health. And that's all fine, to each his own. Just try to ignore those that are cocky and arrogant, and focus on your goals.
It is a little annoying though when some post bodybuilding nonsense to those struggling just to get to a healthy weight, as if they honestly can't believe any has a goal different than theirs.0 -
awww, I am like you sweetie.
I am 5'4" and weigh 172 lbs, my BMI says I am over weigh.
However I wear size US 8, chest is 36 D, waist is 26" and hips are 38". My doc says I am at a normal and healthy weight for me, so I am working on maintaining, toning and building more muscle mass.
I burn an average of 800 /day 6 days/week and eat an average of 2400 cals/day. I know I am not eating enough but I am happiest while doing this ratio of exercise to food.
We should be friends and help support each other :flowerforyou:
The BMR is not a good tool for everyone
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I know they aren't intentionally judging ME when they post about how crappy they feel at whatever weight they are, but I want to scream at them "HEY LOOK AT ME! I'm super fit and I weigh more than you! Why are you so focused on your weight?!?!?!"
I totally agree with you! I gained close to 90 pounds throughout law school and developing hypothyroidism but before then I had gotten down to about 200 pounds and was in the best shape of my life. I ran, I boxed, I had a flat stomach, and I was toned all over. I am 5'10" and at that time I wore a Medium or a size 12. I would be perfectly content being that weight again. The BMI scale says I should weigh 167, and that is my goal, but I know if I get within 30 pounds of it, I'd be just fine.
Everyone is shaped differently. We all gain and lose differently, and we all carry our weight differently. There shouldn't be so much focus on a magic number.0 -
You're reading my mind!I hate the BMI scale. I have the same issue. If I was at the lower end of healthy BMI for my height, I would weigh 130lbs and my body fat % would be 6%. I am not a professional athlete and this is not attainable or even desirable for me. My doctor wanted me to shoot for that and I changed doctors. The new one suggests 150. That would put me at upper end of BMI for healthy, but at a body fat percentage of like 15% (i think). I have a smallish frame too, so I can imagine that someone of my same height with a larger frame would need to shoot for 170-180 and would still be very healthy. I am 5'9" and some change. I never want to be down to 130. I have seen someone with my frame at 130 and i was concerned for her health. She has settled around 145 and looks amazing and healthy and seems like she has more life and vibrancy.
6% BF? How was that measured and quantified? Or are you just assuming that's what it WOULD be?
Edited: I get it, you're only assuming that's what your BF% will be - but that's an incorrect assumption. You can't predict BF% based on weight or where you are on the BMI scale. It doesn't work that way. I'm at lower end of the BMI and at a healthy BF% of 21. 5'9", 134.0 -
I am 6 feet tall and at 183 I felt fat. Mostly because I couldn't fit into clothes off the rack like I wanted to. I know I can't weight what the BMI says. I got down to 155 before and I looked like a druggy. My husband hated it and people started asking me why I was still trying to lose weight.
The numbers are for the insurance companies. They haven't got a clue what a 6 foot woman should weigh. I am simply trying to get healthy and fit. The side effect will be that my body will drop to the size it is supposed to be. And when people look at me they will think I look good because I am a healthy size and better proportioned.
I hope that makes sense.0 -
I did the Paleo diet for a year. Everyone is supposed to be a 120 lb. parkour expert eating this way.
Me? I was a 180 lb. Xena Warrior Woman. I maybe dropped five pounds.
Meanwhile, everyone would be complimenting me. Or the women would be giving me the jealous stink eye.
When asked how much I weighed I would tell them.
Then they'd be HORRIFIED!
Eh. I'm with you.0 -
When asked how much I weighed I would tell them.
Then they'd be HORRIFIED!
Eh. I'm with you.
Same here! No one ever thinks I weigh as much as I do...either that or they are just being super super nice. :ohwell:0 -
When asked how much I weighed I would tell them.
Then they'd be HORRIFIED!
Eh. I'm with you.
Same here! No one ever thinks I weigh as much as I do...either that or they are just being super super nice. :ohwell:
Totally agree. I lost 50 pounds a few years ago. Went down from 221 to 171. I wore a size 8/9 depending on which store I went to, and I felt and looked AWESOME! Don't worry there is a lot of support here, you just have to weed out the know it alls who want to correct everything you do.
I do feel like you need to be a little more confident in yourself though. A marathon? Are you kidding me??? How many people on here have accomplished that at any weight???!!! I think less rather than more. According to the "experts" I should weight no more than 130 pounds. At that weight I would look like death, and probably feel like it too. So, when asked I tell people my goal and if they look at me crossways or say something out of bounds, then they get told to mind their own business, and then they get deleted. What matters TO YOU, is YOUR health and YOUR happiness. No one else can do you like you can do you. (And don't let them think they can!)0 -
Lost 4% bodyfat in 5 weeks?!?!?
Lucky you. You must be a man.
Yup, I'm a man last time I checked. I lost that 4% with sheer grit and determination. I burned over 13,000 Cals in that 5 weeks. I would like my success to motivate people, not intimidate them. It is not an easy journey, I worked damn hard for those losses.
There is no way even a man burned 4% bodyfat in 5 weeks. ESPECIALLY not at just over 13,000 cals.. (That is only 2.6k cals in a week. I've had workouts close to that.) If you are basing it off a scale reader or anything but a water/air dip you have some inaccuracies in the measurements. Saying you lost 4% bodyfat in 4 weeks from 13,000 burned, is like saying you gained 6 pounds of muscles a month natural.... It's not going to happen.0 -
I hate the BMI scale. I have the same issue. If I was at the lower end of healthy BMI for my height, I would weigh 130lbs and my body fat % would be 6%. I am not a professional athlete and this is not attainable or even desirable for me. My doctor wanted me to shoot for that and I changed doctors. The new one suggests 150. That would put me at upper end of BMI for healthy, but at a body fat percentage of like 15% (i think). I have a smallish frame too, so I can imagine that someone of my same height with a larger frame would need to shoot for 170-180 and would still be very healthy. I am 5'9" and some change. I never want to be down to 130. I have seen someone with my frame at 130 and i was concerned for her health. She has settled around 145 and looks amazing and healthy and seems like she has more life and vibrancy.
The BMI isn't a good scale for body sizes, it's just an avg etc.. The problem with BMI is it doesn't take in frame size (not just height) nor muscle mass. Don't go by BMI, just use it as a guide to see the number dropping. As well 15% body fat for a woman is pretty low still. A lot of the women fitness models are at 9-11% body fat, they just dehydrate before pictures. (ref. Bb.com)0 -
MFP is way into weight too much. It is but ONE variable to track.I've been thinking about it, and I now know why I walked away from my weightloss forums including MFP for the last 4 months or so. (To the detriment of my waistline…I've gained 15lbs of fluffiness since I ran my marathon in the end of September.)
I feel really egocentric saying this, but it’s truly how I feel.
I have a hard time feeling supported by the communities (especially MFP and the forums on other food-tracking websites). I mean, I felt supported by a different (non-food-tracker related) forum when I was 270lbs plus and desperately trying to break into one-derland…
But then I realized I’m COMPLETELY HEALTHY AND HAPPY at a weight/height ratio that so many people seem completely horrified to be. I was REALLY happy and fit at 185-190 (the weight I was while training/running my marathon). My current goal is 180 (lighter than I’ve ever been, seriously) and is just *over* the cusp of obese for my height. I think the cutoff is 178 or something. Women who are bigger than me (like I used to be) have goal weights of “whatever the BMI says” and women who are smaller (or the same weight) as me have goal weights of “whatever the BMI says” and I feel like a freak over here with my head exploding because if I got to the weight the BMI says (120-155) without losing muscle mass I’d have a bodyfat percentage of less than 10% and I’d look like a skin-and-bones freak. Not to mention being an emotional monster from the horrific dietary restrictions I’d have to put myself through! (YES, I do test my body fat percentage on a regular basis, and NO, I am not exaggerating.)
But there’s so many people who are my height (or close) and they are like ”I’m a fat monster! I weigh 160lbs!”
I don’t believe that the BMI is right. I believe we shouldn’t be focusing so hard on weight, but focusing much more on fitness and healthy, nutritious eating! I believe that most people can (and maybe should) be carrying more MUSCLE weight than the BMI allows. Some weight might come off in the fitness/health journey (depending on your journey) but weightloss shouldn’t be the goal, or we risk losing muscle mass...and we all know and agree that losing muscle mass is very bad news, right??
Try this:
BodyFat
http://www.scientificpsychic.com/fitness/diet.html
Further, congratulations on your success, and for stopping the bleeding in terms of fat gain.
Nip it in the bug!
I am proud to support you here. Friend request sent!0
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