Not sure how to handle this, need some advice

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DawnDawn2011
DawnDawn2011 Posts: 92
in Chit-Chat
I work at a large retail store that employs about 400 to 500 people. The area I work in is set apart from most of the rest of the store, so I don't really interact with most of the other employees very often, however once every two weeks I cash out my card to get my pay and I have to deal with this guy. I don't know his name, but he has always given me the creeps, so when I am forced to deal with him, I flash my wedding ring, and work into the conversation how awesome my husband is. In fact I know he has seen me with my husband in the store on many occasions. Well, last week when I went to get my pay, there were two people cashing out the cards, and I went to the woman who was working there, I have known her for at least 6 years and she is really cool. Creepy dude starts going on about how pretty I look today, and how if they had a beauty contest at our store I would win hands down. He kept talking and it just made me really uncomfortable. He sent me a request on facebook later that day which I denied. (my facebook page has my husband's name on it), and then a few days later he sat by me in the break room. I got up and walked away, threw away part of my lunch just to escape (at least it is good for my diet though lol) Then the other day I was eating my lunch, with my nose buried in a book and I look up to see him sitting across the room just staring at me! I want to get this guy to go away, I am starting to get the feeling that he is not right in the head, and the way he was looking at me frigtened me. I have been ignoring him forever, trying to escape him forever, but it seems like the more I run away the more determined he gets. I don't really want to go to management and get him in trouble, I just want him to leave me the hell alone. I need some good advice!
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Replies

  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    Talk to him,but start talking about your pierod how bad the cramps are the flow,right down to the color and consistency.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    Talk to your boss! Omg that's creepy!
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
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    I'M ALSO A FAN OF THE GROSS OUT METHOD.... THEY USUALLY LEAVE YOU ALONE :)
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    is there an ethics hotline or an HR person you can talk to? that is very creepy, and you do need to go to someone about it. behaviour like that is technically sexual harassment and you MUST do something now before he does something worse to you.

    seconded. you've drawn the line. he's aware that he's making you uncomfortable. you need to talk to HR.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    Go to HR! Believe me with that many employees you can't be the only one.
  • HeelsAndBoxingGloves
    HeelsAndBoxingGloves Posts: 916 Member
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    Definitely talk to HR or your boss! What a creeper!
  • DawnDawn2011
    DawnDawn2011 Posts: 92
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    I think if he does anything else creepy I will call him out on it really loud, in front of everyone. For instance if he is staring at me maybe I will yell out, " Don't you have anything better to do than to stare at me? Go away!" Then if he keeps it up, I will go to management.
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
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    Does your husband know about this? If your husband ISN'T the type to get all silverback gorilla possessive and escalate the situation and make it worse, it might be a good idea to tell him what's going on and ask him to make a show of picking you up at work - come in and get you, put his arm around you, etc, so the creepy guy actually sees with his own eyes that you ARE taken. Of course, if your husband is the type that would get jealous and confront him, then that's not a good idea.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Something needs to be done, he is getting more brave with his creepy actions and that is no good. Good luck.
  • DawnDawn2011
    DawnDawn2011 Posts: 92
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    This guy has seen me with my husband on many occasions, so he knows I am married. The creepy guy is married too! Maybe I will send his wife a message on facebook! Lol
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I would suggest, looking him in the eye and politely, but firmly, telling him that you do not appreciate his attention and ask him to stop. He may just be socially inept and doesn't know the discomfort he is causing you.

    If that doesn't work, go to HR.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    I would use the gross method first.
    Start being liberal with your flatulence when he is around. Make sure to drink a carbonated drink and be loud with your burps. It's never too early to pick your nose.

    Although who knows maybe grossness turns him on? I can only think of this happening!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT4oswrvdMg

    If this turns out to be the case, then resort to your superiors and bring the problem to them.
  • coyoteo
    coyoteo Posts: 532 Member
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    Sometimes men are terrible at taking hints, no matter how obvious we may think they are. I wouldn't go to HR yet, I would talk to him first and tell him you feel uncomfortable by his comments. Maybe he just really wants to be your friend. If a single thing is said after you tell him to be done being a creeper, then I would go a step up.
  • TriciaZ944
    TriciaZ944 Posts: 317 Member
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    I would confront him and tell him politely he is making you uncomfortable for example "i would appreciate if you would stop making comments about my looks etc I am a married woman and it makes me extremely uncomfortable" if he continues go to hr and report him... Document when you tell him this and when you tell hr. I would make sure you have a close coworker with you when you say something so it's not your word against his. Also, continue to document what he does so if you have to take it further you have all the info with dates.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    If straight out telling him you're creeped out doesn't work, you need to go to HR.
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
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    You need to go to either your Supervisor or Human Resources immeadiately and get past incidents documented, the longer you wait the more difficult the situation is going to be. You do not want to engage him in a "gross out" conversation and you do not want to make this a personal matter {I know these suggestions were made in a jokeing manner}. You are working in a hostile enviroment and if he has failed to dis-engage his actions you need to protect yourself and ensure you have notified upper management of his actions.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    Go to management. Do not confront him about it. Let a 3rd party handle it. Confronting him may only set him off and from the way you are describing him, I don't think you should have that confrontation with him. If it was someone who was making jokes and making you uncomfortable, then I might agree with talking to him first but you are describing someone who sounds unbalanced, and potentially dangerous. Go to management. Do not give him an opportunity to interact with you where you are volunteering for that interaction.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Just remember you no longer need to be polite with this person. They've crossed the line. Take whatever steps you feel are necessary to keep yourself safe and sane.

    Best of luck to you.
  • latinahada
    latinahada Posts: 168
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    2 words...Human Resources!!! That's one of the reasons they are there...Utilize them!!! And i agree it's very creepy, yikes!

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