a tragic loss....
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remember this- she is only gone physically. she is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge, all young and healthy, passing time sleeping in the warm sun, chasing bugs in the tall grasses, the breeze gently ruffling her fur, playing w/ all the other beloved pets that have left this earth...just waiting until the day far in future when you'll be reunited. once in a while she will come visit you or send you signs that she loves you still. look for them. her earthly body is gone but that "that is her" still exists and her love for you, like your love for her, will always and forever exist, it cannot die.
so yes grieve that her physical being is no longer here, it hurts so bad, but hold onto the belief that she is okay and you'll see her again one day.
((many hugs))0 -
my cat of 19 years died in my arms today. i am completely broken. i obviously don't have healthy coping skills, i would appreciate it if you could suggest them. i used to use drugs and alcohol, then later food. help please.
Oh honey I'm so sorry:(((( It is so hard losing a beloved pet....they are like family members!! Take time to grieve. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Like a few people have suggested, taking a walk and/or exercise is a healthy way to channel some of that grief and sadness. Unfortunately it's a process that we have to work through. Hugs:flowerforyou:0 -
*HUGS* work out at the gym or exercise the emotions. Easier said than done, hang in there.0
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Those of us with addiction issues tend to look for a fix when under stress. It's really hard not to resort to that behavior when experiencing loss. But you have to walk through this grief with intention. You don't have to feel great. You won't. It sucks right now. And you hurt. That's OK. It's OK to hurt. You can cry. It's OK to cry. It's OK to feel the loss, feel the ache. I ask that you make the commitment to stay in touch with a healthy friend or family member that you trust and contact them regularly. You don't have to process all the grief with them if you don't want to (though that might be easier). Just commit to staying in regular contact with them.my cat of 19 years died in my arms today. i am completely broken. i obviously don't have healthy coping skills, i would appreciate it if you could suggest them. i used to use drugs and alcohol, then later food. help please.
You don't have to use (drugs, alcohol, food, etc.) to not feel. You can still feel and be OK. Being OK does not mean feeling good. Being OK means feeling and the world not coming to an end. You can get through this. That doesn't mean it is easy or trivial. It simply means you can get to the other side - first to a point where you are really sad instead of freaking out with heartache, then wistful instead of really sad, and eventually you'll realize that you will miss this animal that was a part of your life and sometimes get sad, other times laugh about it.
You aren't there yet. But you can get there. I don't even know you, and I can promise that you have the ability to get there. Make the choice to get there. It's OK to feel pain. Just do it safely. Realize it's a process. Remember that it will subside. Know that there is nothing you can do that will make you forget the the loss. You can only postpone the grief process (drugs, alcohol, food, etc.), you cannot skip it. You know this to be true.
Hang in there. It really hurts to lose a beloved pet. I'm sorry you are hurting. It will hurt a tiny bit less tomorrow.
i second every bit of this.
and the only thing i can add is to talk to ppl. talk to friends and family, talk on here, talk to a therapist. it's a good way to process your emotions. but remember, emotions don't have to make sense. feeling is rarely logical.
i'm sorry for your loss.0 -
I think the fact that you reached out to others and are seeking advice shows wonderful coping skills. Its easy to look for selfdestructive behavior when you are grieving and feel out of control with loss and sadness. But this too shall pass and you will be left with the love and memories you shared with your beloved. I am so sorry fo your loss and I hope this helps.0
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I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure it was a comfort to her to have you with her and to have some many wonderful years with you. I would agree with the idea to exercise. I would also say find a supportive friend or family member who knew your cat help you celebrate her life. When my grandfather died, my now husband let me cry it out, then had me tell him some of my favorite memories of my grandfather. It helped to remember the good times. I would also say check in with your local shelter/humane society, some organizations have "living with loss--Pet Support Groups." They meet regularly and are for people dealing with the loss of a beloved pet. (Or you can try other resources like the Pet Loss Hotline http://www.vet.cornell.edu/org/petloss/index.cfm). It can be good to know other people feel as deeply the loss of a pet as you do.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss and am thinking of you. :flowerforyou:0 -
Just lay in bed and cry for a while. Who said you have to cope right now? Don't! Drugs and alcohol won't bring your cat back, and it won't do anything but numb the grief you are supposed to be feeling. So go feel it. Cry it out. Do what you need to do!
Don't destroy the memories by damaging yourself. That won't do anything to help you in any way.
People are so afraid of just feeling. I used to be an emotional eater, until I realized that feeling my feelings won't make me fat.....
Feel better!
I lost my 12 yr old cat a few years ago and it was devastating....0 -
OMG! I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I have a cat that is my baby. He is about 5 years old and he sleeps with me every night. He tolerates my kids because he has to but he is definately a one owner cat. I would literally go into deep depression when he dies...0
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I hope this poem gets you through your loss! Stay strong. I keep this poem on my fridge as a reminder for all of my pets that have gone!
The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.0 -
That is just awful. I have no advice, just sympathies!
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very sorry for your loss, i had to put my cat down last week, he was going into kidney failure.
i woke up looking for him 2 nights ago then came to my senses and remembered he wasnt around anymore. no idea why i did that, but it is hard to lose a pet
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I lost two of my animals two years ago. =( It's so hard. Just take your time; cry and mourn.
If you want comfort food today, eat comfort food. Call a good friend. Call a family member. Anyone who will UNDERSTAND and who can sit there and just be there with you.
Forget the diet today. Focus on grieving on your loss. =( I'm so sorry.0 -
I'm so sorry, losing a pet is like losing family
I wish I could say something to help but instead will just let you know I'm thinking of you xxx
^^It IS losing family.0 -
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that it's OK and normal to grieve. It's actually required to be healthy. Also, know that it's OK that it sticks around. I personally do not believe for a minute that time heals all wounds. Some are too deep. Too painful. But your faith can carry you through because of the other blessings in your life and the hope of the future. So weep, surround yourself with those you love and care about. Just take it day by day.0
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Try to take comfort in knowing that kitty had an excellent life and was very loved. If you got kitty to 19 years you had to have been doing very well and been very loving and attentive.
Kitty died peacefully in your arms and not somewhere scary or somewhere alone.
Know that the pain is normal and natural and the only way through it is to go through it. Animals are a very important and special part of our lives.0 -
this is probably all wrong if you went to a shrink but MY family had the same problem with a dog. We had to go right out and find another Dog to love. its not the same but when you see the love in the new dogs eyes it makes everything just alittle easier to handle. when you have known the unconditinal love of an animal its empty without it. Obviously you loved and cared for your cat for it to live 19 years. there are MILLLIONS of cats out there who need someone to care. There are alot of people who love their cats but cant keep them or take care of them. they would love to know that someone like you have taken their loved ones in! im praying for you.0
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i'm so sorry for your loss
i had to put my dog down a few years ago and she died in my arms too.
i can't tell you a magic way to get over it, because you never will be fully over it.. your pet is like family.
but as others stated before me i kept a journal and i wrote about my feelings. it really did help.
i also exercised to my ipod a lot, to help me stay moving.
it's 1000% okay, healthy, and normal to grieve.
i hope you find peace with this and i'll pray for you
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I find the best way to deal with any loss is to be vocal about it. Don't bottle it up.
Talk about it, share memories, grieve.
Sorry for your loss. I know how much losing a pet can hurt.0 -
I am so sorry for your loss....losing a beloved pet can be as hard as losing a person. People diss cats all the time, but unless you have loved and been loved by one, you would never know the bond.
I agree with the idea of the journal. I started journalling after my husband died, and just stuck with it...I write about anything and everything. Sometimes I write to him, but mostly now it's just for me.
As I write this, I look at my cat and know that she is getting old and doesn't have that much time left. My heart is absolutely breaking for you. Please, be gentle with yourself, if you want to cry, then cry, or scream or write or sing or whatever you need to do, but please, don't go back to drinking or using or food...these things are not your friends, and will only make things worse. If you need a friend, you can add me.
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I hope this poem gets you through your loss! Stay strong. I keep this poem on my fridge as a reminder for all of my pets that have gone!
The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together. 0 -
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know I was devastated when I lost my 18 year old Sheba to kidney and heart failure.
Just know in your heart that you gave her an AMAZING and very, very long life filled with love. No cat can possibly ask for more than that. You're going to be sad. It's going to be hard. A big chunk of your life is missing. But know that you're grieving for yourself. She's not in pain or suffering. She's free from all that, and like I said, she had the best life any cat could have.
Don't rush out and get a new kitten. It won't replace her. You'll know when the time is right for a new one. In fact, after we lost Sheba, about a year and a half later, my husband and I decided, "Now would be the right time to think about getting another cat." That very same day, we discovered there were feral stray kittens living under my neighbor's porch. We caught two of the kittens before the mamacat moved the litter. Cats... kind of just happen to me.0 -
I'm SO sorry for your loss... I have three kitties myself... and know how much they become a member of the family....try to journal your feelings...and maybe try to do something to honor your cherished kitty... if it would help you to get out of the house, and would not push the pain deeper maybe think of doing some volunteer work at a local animal shelter......or donate in your kitty's memory to someplace that helps animals, maybe either a shelter that needs funding to help them not have to put adoptable animals down, or the site online that donates pet foods to shelters?0
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Very sorry for your loss.0
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So sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you...When we lost our little boy from illness, it was the worst pain and still is the worst pain one can imagine....but----when his cat and dog passed away afterwards that was traumatizing because then everything of his that had life was gone.....If you need a friend you can add my name....0
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I am so sorry. Big hug -- I've lost a pet that way too. It's incredibly hard. I find writing down exactly what I think/feel is very helpful. When I am angry I find hitting the counter with a roll of wax paper is a good way to get frustration out without hurting anything. And a hot bath sometimes helps sooth the nerves. Hug.0
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I wish I had something to add to all the responses but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.0
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Go get a kitten or something fury to fill the void.my cat of 19 years died in my arms today. i am completely broken. i obviously don't have healthy coping skills, i would appreciate it if you could suggest them. i used to use drugs and alcohol, then later food. help please.
Sorry for your loss.
One must be an animal person to understand.
Everyone grieves differently, and each furry being is a separate personality, a new one right away may or may not be the answer. I am very much an animal person, we had to put down our beloved dog a couple of months ago and it still seems very fresh.
The idea of a journal is very lovely. Hold your memories close to your heart, they do get easier.
So sorry for your loss.0 -
I am a cat mamma too, so I can imagine what this is like for you. When tempted to "fix" the way you feel by using the drug of choice... just think of what your kitty would want you to do. I bet your baby was proud of the woman you've become. Don't let her down.0
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It's hard to lose a animal, especially when you've had it for so long. I just lost a cat we had at my mom's house, she was 14-15 years old. even though I've been out of the house it still hurts. I found a good cry helps, a journal helped after my grandpa died in '07. You could write down your good memories you had with your pet.0
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awww im so sorry hunny thats so sad but 19 wow thats old for a cat. just lost my boxer of 8 yrs a couple months ago....take out ur sadness at the gym is the best way to deal with sadness or make a scrap book of pics of ur cat that will give ur hands something to do...just a couple of suggestions...take care and God Bless0
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