Ugh. Online Dating

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ANonnyMouse
ANonnyMouse Posts: 11
in Chit-Chat
Okay, so the "ugh" is because it is stressful, not because there's anything wrong with it. In fact I know many people who have been successfully and happily matched.

My question lies in the profile writing. Using Match there are a couple descriptors for body type. I always worry that I chose the "wrong one" and am being unintentionally deceptive about my size/body type. How would you describe/define the following for a woman:

-About average
-A few extra pounds
-Stocky
-Curvy
-Heavyset
-Big and beautiful
-Full figured

Any help/guidance would be greatly appreciated!
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Replies

  • winslow44238
    winslow44238 Posts: 35
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    When I did that, I put down a few extra pounds. Reality was about 50-60, but I wear my added weight pretty well. Most people are there looking for who you are as a person, and if they are really looking for a fit and althletic person, they just screened themselves out of really great options.

    Personally I had some bad experience with dating sites, but I also know people who had good ones. My husband met me as I was getting out and starting to sort out what I really like. We shared the common interest of motorcycles, then found out that we shared almost everything in common interest. I'd highly recommend getting out and trying some of those adventure groups too. If you want to try out hiking, or boating, or whatever is available in your area, you will be meeting others with your same interests. Even if it isn't Mr Right, it could be a bunch of great new friends.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    it would depend on your body type, for me I would say curvy.
    if you have a few extra pounds then don't be shy about it. There are plenty of men out there who appreciate a few extra pillow to lay with :wink:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    My profile says a few extra pounds. I'd rather be honest than not.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
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    What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

    - About Average: WTH is average?
    - A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
    - Stocky: Short gymnast
    - Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
    - Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
    - Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
    - Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
    - Full figured: A completed math problem

    I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
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    Double Post: Sorry.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Is it not a case of "one picture tells more than a thousand words"?
    Why not put a full picture of you, with some nice clothes that match your figure (without trying to hide absolutely your extra pounds).

    Apart from that, your terms: Curvy is probably the nicest one IMHO (A few extra pounds: OK too, About average: dull but OK I guess, Big and beautiful: a bit cheesy but OK)
  • ANonnyMouse
    ANonnyMouse Posts: 11
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    I wrote "a few extra pounds" on mine, but I worry that I'm misrepresenting myself. I asked a guy friend what he thought and he thought "big and beautiful" but to me that reads larger than "a few extra pounds." I dunno, I'm clearly thinking about this WAY too much, but the look of disappointment when I finally meet people is really, really getting to me.

    I play in a few volleyball leagues, hike, etc. but am having a very difficult time meeting new people. It's just a tough thing.

    Oh, and I definitely wrote " curvy" twice. Oops.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
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    -About average - healthy BMI/normal sized (not slim, just not overweight)
    -A few extra pounds - slightly overweight - over the healthy weight range
    -Stocky - bulky/muscular
    -Curvy - big boobs, big butt, slim waist
    -Heavyset - not sure
    -Big and beautiful - large/obese
    -Full figured - overweight not obese
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
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    I met my partner online. i was honest and put 'a few extra kilos' or whatever the options were at the time.

    It was best of honest, or even over the top (so when they met you they're pleasently suprised that you're not as big they thought u were lol)

    the funny thing with my partner and I was that when we started chatting he said 'no offence but i dont date "curvier girls'...i just want to be friends with you" didnt bother me lol i was like 'ah well your loss'. well he must have come around ey. although i do feel more consious of my size now because i know he doesn't like it, however i use it as motivation more than anything else.
  • krist3ng
    krist3ng Posts: 259 Member
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    Ahh! When I did online dating I said I was 'average' body type, because I was on the cusp of overweight according to BMI. Some of those descriptors have a lot more to do with mindset, I'd say!

    Curvy is such a confident word, it just makes me think of cleavage spilling out and a little waist and being able to dance well. It seems to imply a sort of extreme voluptuousness (I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm voluptuous, but in a stocky, overweight sorta way) that I'd be uncomfortable advertising myself as. BUT the word 'curvy' is kind of liberating, unlike...

    "A few extra pounds"- BY WHOSE RULES, BUDDY? this makes you look like you have low self-esteem!

    I think you can tell instinctively which is most appropriate based on your body type. Or ask a close friend how they would describe you (and prepare to stab them if they choose the wrong one!)

    Heavyset is negative, while full-figured is the more body-positive terminology. No matter what, try to go with something that doesn't make you come across as too neurotic and unhappy about your weight. People will respond best to confidence and happiness, no matter what size you are.
  • beautyreaps
    beautyreaps Posts: 151
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    * About average: What comes to mind would be someone who is around size 15, but I may just think that way from my studies, haha. I just picture this - http://newwomensfashion.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/15.jpg

    * A few extra pounds: Someone who is around size 18-20 seems pretty fair here. Like this chick -http://www.judgmentofparis.com/cc/ms11b.jpg

    * Stocky: Someone who is shorter than average (4' - 5'3), but is above size 20. I don't really feel many people fit this profile, because some women can be between those measurements and look like "a few extra pounds". I think this word is vague and harsh.

    * Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

    * Heavyset: I'd imagine would be a women who's got any boob size above DD. I think everyone can figure that one out on their own, haha.

    * Big and beautiful: Simply means you're proud of your weight. You know you're larger than average, but you like being that way. It's not bad, some men appreciate women who appreciate their forms. It's basically stating "Plus sized and proud". This women works - http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrspdaEPi11qhc3j9o1_400.jpg

    * Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

    nb4 anyone hounds me, this is simply what comes to mind when I hear those words. My interpretations are my own and I don't believe everyone thinks or feels the same way as I do. Any ways, I think you should be honest with yourself. Relationships are best built with honesty.
  • momtozmc
    momtozmc Posts: 418 Member
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    What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

    - About Average: WTH is average?
    - A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
    - Stocky: Short gymnast
    - Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
    - Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
    - Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
    - Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
    - Full figured: A completed math problem

    I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.

    THAT is funny!!!!
  • Effervescent17
    Effervescent17 Posts: 61 Member
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    this is how I would see it


    -About average (you are your healthy BMI maybe 5 pounds over or under)
    -A few extra pounds (You are overweight according to your BMI)
    -Stocky (Short and overweight)
    -Curvy (Healthy weight but you have hips and boobs basically think marilyn Monroe Betty Paige look)
    -Heavyset (Heavy set is someone who is bigger on top but usually skinnier on bottom)
    -Big and beautiful (Someone who is obese according to their BMI)
    -Full figured (Someone who is overweight but carries their weight more like a curvy woman)
  • krist3ng
    krist3ng Posts: 259 Member
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    * Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

    * Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

    HMM!! I think your 'scarlett johansson as curvy' picture is just a trick of photography (not saying she's not totally smokin', but she's not built like a 50s pinup!). She's sitting down, which by law of perspective makes her hips and derriere look wider.

    Also, INTERESTING, I always thought of full-figured as being quite larger than the image you included! That's probably what I'd have included for curvy!!

    cool to see different people's interpretations.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    -About average = this is what I put when I was dating... I was about 118 pds at 5'2
    -A few extra pounds - to me this is self explanatory
    -Stocky - I think thick and short when I hear stocky...
    -Curvy - women with curves, hippy, busty women
    -Heavyset - overweight but not jiggly? idk that's what I see in my head
    -Big and beautiful - self explanatory
    -Full figured - I guess I'd think this was overweight but not really describing a body type because people use this term loosely

    A picture is worth a thousand words.... A great picture - better yet - multiple pictures wins.
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
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    When I used to do a little online dating, I pretty much expected that people picked two options below reality and was usually right.

    I'm not sure I can answer this without potentially offending someone.

    PS: Don't pick curvy. Even if you look like Betty Page.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Put down what you honestly feel is accurate,one persons few extra pounds is just perfect to another.
    Trying to define these terms so as everyone will see it the same way is really impossible.

    Be yourself.:flowerforyou:
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    It's been so many years since I met my husband online...I'm fairly certain I put full figured.
  • Sweet13_Princess
    Sweet13_Princess Posts: 1,207 Member
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    I wouldn't worry about choosing the "wrong one." Pick the one that YOU feel best describes you. You're the one writing the profile, after all. Besides, most people include a picture, so he/she can always look at that if weight is such a huge dating factor issue. If someone calls you out about "lying" about your weight, I doubt you'd want to date them anyways!:-P

    Good luck with online dating! I tried Match, but didn't have much luck. I ended up meeting my husband on MySpace by searching for local people in my age group.

    Shannon
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

    - About Average: WTH is average?
    - A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
    - Stocky: Short gymnast
    - Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
    - Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
    - Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
    - Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
    - Full figured: A completed math problem

    I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.

    I agree about the picture. To ME, "curvy" means an hourglass or pear shaped figure, regardless of weight. But a lot of people define themselves as curvy if they're overweight. Which is also full-figured, so aren't they the same to many people? And heavyset and "a few extra pounds" could fall into that same category. What a PITA.

    I agree that you should choose what you feel best describes you and then rely on the photo to give men a better idea.

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