Do you comment on other people's weight?

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fteale
fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
in Chit-Chat
I seem to be the only person who finds it incredibly rude to comment on another person's weight. Most people don't go up to people and say "you're fat", so why is it ok to say "you've lost so much weight."? Surely that's just saying "You were fat before, but I didn't like to comment."

I wouldn't ever like to comment on anyone's weight unless they brought the subject up themselves and were inviting opinions.

How do you feel when people talk about your weight?
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Replies

  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Most people don't talk about it except the people I've mentioned it to. I had one co-worker mention it because she wanted to know how I lost it, so she could do the same.
  • Debo83
    Debo83 Posts: 1
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    I don't mind at all! I don't think most people mean anything negative by it and are in fact trying to give a compliment or notice and validate all the hard work you've done. I'd rather people tell me how great I look now than to not hear anything about it at all.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I would only comment if they brought it up. Having said that, when people notice I have lost weight and are being complimentary about it, it pleases me.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    One of the nicest people I work with, a kind gentleman (we work together as Chefs) who always sings to the women at work, pulled me aside one on one, and asked: "I know this is gonna be weird, but I just have to say, you REALLY are looking great - what are you doing?"

    I was SOOOOOO FLATTERED!!!! I choked up, gave that man a hug that couldve taken the air out of him right there! I said to him "OH MY GAWD, thank you so much, I feel like a million bucks!!!!!!!" So I shared with him about my doctor's recommendations and that they are working wonderfully... and told him how much weight Ive dropped so far... his eyes WIDENED and then a big smile joined with them...

    He said 'I was so nervous to say something because I know weight is a sensitive thing for women, but, I just had to say something because I can definitely tell!"...

    I hugged him again and said "I love you, man!"

    He said he was inspired by my weight loss and wants to talk with his doctor about his weight and whether or not the method I have to follow would be good for him.. he said he wants to lose a good 75lbs so it will be easier to walk for him (he has one leg that is bowing outwards, the poor guy)...

    I really think it depends on the person saying it, and the person receiving the comment... The fact this guy noticed and had the cajones to tell me he noticed made me feel so good! Because, he is right!!! Not all women can take the compliment the right way... but he was comfortable working with me and joking around (really dirty jokes mind you!) enough to know he could say it..
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    One of the nicest people I work with, a kind gentleman (we work together as Chefs) who always sings to the women at work, pulled me aside one on one, and asked: "I know this is gonna be weird, but I just have to say, you REALLY are looking great - what are you doing?"

    I was SOOOOOO FLATTERED!!!! I choked up, gave that man a hug that couldve taken the air out of him right there! I said to him "OH MY GAWD, thank you so much, I feel like a million bucks!!!!!!!" So I shared with him about my doctor's recommendations and that they are working wonderfully... and told him how much weight Ive dropped so far... his eyes WIDENED and then a big smile joined with them...

    He said 'I was so nervous to say something because I know weight is a sensitive thing for women, but, I just had to say something because I can definitely tell!"...

    I hugged him again and said "I love you, man!"

    He said he was inspired by my weight loss and wants to talk with his doctor about his weight and whether or not the method I have to follow would be good for him.. he said he wants to lose a good 75lbs so it will be easier to walk for him (he has one leg that is bowing outwards, the poor guy)...

    I really think it depends on the person saying it, and the person receiving the comment... The fact this guy noticed and had the cajones to tell me he noticed made me feel so good! Because, he is right!!! Not all women can take the compliment the right way... but he was comfortable working with me and joking around (really dirty jokes mind you!) enough to know he could say it..

    That is sweet, and he did it in a sensitive way. Most people just gawp and go "HOW much weight have you lost?" Which is just rude!
  • brindlechewy
    brindlechewy Posts: 84 Member
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    I think it depends on the situation. One of my friends has been actively trying to lose weight. I think it's complimentary to tell her that she looks thin because that's what she's striving for.
    On the other hand, I would hesitate to make a comment--complimentary or not--on somebody's appearance if I didn't know whether they were trying to lose weight, gain weight, etc. In this situation, even something meant as a compliment could really hurt somebody's feelings. For example, I have an aunt who loves to remark on how "nice and curvy" I am EVERY SINGLE TIME she sees me. The last time she said this, I was a size zero and desperate to be even smaller. Her comment was devastating because it made me feel, at the time, like a bloated, fat blimp. ( I admit that I wasn't in the best mental state at the time.) Because of incidents like this, I don't make uninvited comments on anybody's weight or body.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    The other one I get all the time is "Was it intentional?" As if that makes any difference to anything!
  • bulletproofkasper
    bulletproofkasper Posts: 126 Member
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    It depends how they word it i guess, i mean all love being told how good we look right ? but i had a work mate come up to me and say wow i looked at your facebook photos and you used to be really fat and i hated that but my came to see me at christmas and said i look wonderful and fit which felt amazing so it's all in the wording anf how they say it i think :)
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I don't like it AT ALL when people mention it.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    I don't like it.

    I do understand, though, when some extended family members do it, as it's not considered rude where they live. To be honest, it's liberating in a way to have the stigma taken away.
  • Mailaaa
    Mailaaa Posts: 8
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    i think it motivates me more when people notice my weightloss, makes me feel satisfied haha
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I'm flattered. I've worked hard for this. But it's still a little embarrassing.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    because losing weight is hella hard!! they r only admiring your loss and thinking how fab you look, i dont mind this at all! i KNOW I WAS fat and im so proud to have lost 29 lbs and looking to shed 19 more!!
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    I think the world would be a better place if we could all tell each other what we mean instead of trying to be polite all the time. "You look fat", "you look skinny", "you smell today, did you forget your deodorant?", "those jeans really do make your *kitten* look fat"
  • breanna528
    breanna528 Posts: 2
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    I don't think people mean it to sound rude, they just want to let you know that they noticed all your hard work. I wouldn't be mad at all if people say that because it's good to know my work has paid off and people can actually notice!
  • Mrs_Charisma
    Mrs_Charisma Posts: 25
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    I, like others, don't unless I KNOW it's a goal they are working towards. Otherwise, it can seem insensitive.


    I had to tell my *step* daughter (we don't really use the step terms!) that it was rude to (constantly) comment on how "skinny" my daughter is. Yes, she's 5'7 and weighs 110 lbs (and eats like a horse). She didn't understand it until I asked her if she would walk up to someone and tell them how fat they are....
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    I think the world would be a better place if we could all tell each other what we mean instead of trying to be polite all the time. "You look fat", "you look skinny", "you smell today, did you forget your deodorant?", "those jeans really do make your *kitten* look fat"

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA>.... Pardon my Morgan Freeman moment...

    my...my...myyyyyyy
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    I recently went back home after being away for a year and most of the comments I got were something like "Wow! You look amazing!" or "I hardly recognize you!". I know what they mean, but I appreciated they didn't come right out and say anything about my weight. I did have one friend freak out go on and on about "how skinny I got". I appreciate the compliment but it was also kind of embarrassing. It probably also had something to do with the say she was yelling and jumping around. LOL

    Oh, I also ran into a guy I graduated with who was always kind of mean to me. He didn't realize who I was at first, but when he did this is what he said, "Mal? Wow, you look better!" ....Uh, thanks? :grumble:
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I don't mind at all! I don't think most people mean anything negative by it and are in fact trying to give a compliment or notice and validate all the hard work you've done. I'd rather people tell me how great I look now than to not hear anything about it at all.

    this
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
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    I don't know why someone saying something about you losing weight would be offensive. "Wow! You've lost so much weight!" doesn't sound offensive to me at all. I feel rather nice that they were able to notice. Usually when they say that it's followed by a congratulations or something, though so maybe that's part of it.

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