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    Telephone call or in person?

    Posts: 468 Member
    edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
    So I've gone out on three dates with a guy I met online. He is a nice guy, but I'm just not feeling that chemistry/attraction towards him. I obviously need to tell him I'm not seeing us going any further than just friends, especially since he is texting me about doing a cruise. Texting it would be so darn easy, but how crappy would that be? Of course, thats probably more than some guys would do.

    So should I call or see him?

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    Replies

    • Posts: 3,450 Member
      Do not text this! Not after 3 dates and with him talking about cruises. Which... btw... yikes! :laugh: I think phone would be okay for this early one but preferably face to face. Just ask him to coffee or something speedy. :wink:
    • Posts: 9,307 Member
      I see no problem with responding to him as he is contacting you,he is comfortable with it instead of talking on the phone with you by the sounds so that should be fine.
    • Posts: 468 Member
      I see no problem with responding to him as he is contacting you,he is comfortable with it instead of talking on the phone with you by the sounds so that should be fine.

      I've thought the same since he will mainly text me, but I figured face to face would be more appropriate. I need to do something quick before he goes and books a cruise.
    • Posts: 6,171 Member
      It's never easy to dump someone, but it would be nice if you respected him enough to deliver the news in person. Just my opinion, of course.
    • Posts: 510 Member
      I'm a pro at this and have been on both sides. It always sucks to have that conversation.

      I say no need to meet face to face. Just call him. It would be more embarrassing for him to be looking into your eyes when he hears the bad news.
    • Posts: 8,138 Member
      I think it should be in person. It's courteous.
    • Posts: 679 Member
      In your shoes, I think I'd do a phone call.... but I'm a wimp and hate confrontation.
    • Posts: 2,365 Member
      Man, I wish my ex would have consulted you all before our break-up. Years and years together and I got it over the phone. :laugh:
    • Posts: 468 Member
      It's interesting that the guys say text or phone call...and the girls say in person.
    • Posts: 468 Member
      Man, I wish my ex would have consulted you all before our break-up. Years and years together and I got it over the phone. :laugh:

      That sucks after years and years it should have been in person.
    • Posts: 2,083 Member
      You should have your brother's friend's cousins's baby sister Tracy email him to tell him.
    • Posts: 2,018 Member
      If he texts you to go out again...text him back that you would be more comfortable as friends.
      If he calls you to go out again...tell him the same during that call.

      Edit to add I wouldn't suggest texting the no if this was a relationship. It's not - it's 3 dates. For a relationship, it would be face to face OR a call.
    • Posts: 89
      Please please please please please please PLEAAAAAASE do not text him the bad news.

      The last relationship I had ended that way and I was absolutely DEVASTATED. I would have felt so much better to have actually HEARD the news instead.

      I can imagine this guy will likely feel the same way.
    • Posts: 6,171 Member
      You should have your brother's friend's cousins's baby sister Tracy email him to tell him.
      she's a liar....
    • Posts: 102
      I'm a pro at this and have been on both sides. It always sucks to have that conversation.

      I say no need to meet face to face. Just call him. It would be more embarrassing for him to be looking into your eyes when he hears the bad news.

      I completely agree! A phone call would be perfect. You might even want to preface phone call with a text that asks him when he's free because you guys need to talk (to kinda give him heads up so he's not completely shocked).
    • Posts: 8,138 Member
      Doing it via text or phone will make him feel unimportant, and add insult to injury. Please be kind.
    • Posts: 1,674 Member
      texting is a joke, but it does work when you are in between things.

      phone calls can tell you a lot about a person.

      whatever you do, take the necessary precautions, please!
    • Posts: 2,365 Member
      show previous quotes

      That sucks after years and years it should have been in person.
      Yeah, I agree.

      With your situation, I'd take the collective male opinion here.
    • Posts: 351 Member
      I think a phone call is fine. It is definitely better than texting him, but doesn't put him on the spot the way a face-to-face meeting would.
    • Posts: 1,166 Member
      You could text him that no for the cruise, but do NOT break up with him over the phone.
    • Posts: 505 Member
      I guess I would call him. I would rather text but agree that it's ****ty, and I'm terrible with any kind of confrontation. Phone seems a little more polite. Although I have to say I'd be very freaked out if he's talking about going on a cruise after 3 weeks! I've had 4 dates with someone in a week and am not even sure I'm ready to introduce him to my friends yet!
    • Posts: 510 Member
      Phone call... seriously.

      It's courteous, respectful, safe for you, and way better than a fax.
    • Posts: 1,781 Member
      Just unfriend him on facebook.
      Thats what my ex did after 3 years. Brutal.

      Actually I think the face to face break-up is overrated. Don't make me shower and get dressed to give me bad news. Not with gas prices being so high!
    • Posts: 1,669 Member
      show previous quotes

      I completely agree! A phone call would be perfect. You might even want to preface phone call with a text that asks him when he's free because you guys need to talk (to kinda give him heads up so he's not completely shocked).

      This for sure
    • Posts: 102
      Doing it via text or phone will make him feel unimportant, and add insult to injury. Please be kind.

      How can someone think that they are that important after three dates?!? Most people just do the "fade away" when they're not interested in dating someone they've only been out with a few times...so a phone call is more than sufficient to tell someone you barely know that you are not interested in getting to know them anymore.
    • Posts: 464 Member
      There is a seinfeld episode about this LOL
    • Posts: 185 Member
      show previous quotes

      I completely agree! A phone call would be perfect. You might even want to preface phone call with a text that asks him when he's free because you guys need to talk (to kinda give him heads up so he's not completely shocked).

      I agree with this approach.
    • Posts: 88 Member
      There is no easy way to do this.... I honestly would prefer to get a text but thats just me.....
    • Posts: 2,317 Member
      Get a " sorry for your loss" hallmark card. Tell him you like him as a friend but, a cruise is too much too fast.......Bon Voyage. Oh and throw a $20 spot in there. It's rude to send a card without money in it. Plus he can buy some beer and it'll make it not sting as much.
    • Posts: 8,138 Member
      show previous quotes

      How can someone think that they are that important after three dates?!? Most people just do the "fade away" when they're not interested in dating someone they've only been out with a few times...so a phone call is more than sufficient to tell someone you barely know that you are not interested in getting to know them anymore.

      How important does someone have to be to rate a face to face conversation? Your opinion is valid, but I think doing it via phone/text is unkind.
    This discussion has been closed.

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