no clue where else to post this - child wetting her pants at
dirtbikegirl5
Posts: 391 Member
This is completely off subject of fitness, but I don't know what to do.
My daughter has just begun wetting her pants in the middle of the day. She is 7, so she has been potty trained for a long time. We have had the occasional night bed wetting, over the years, but that has stopped. She has done it twice in my MIL's car during a trip from school to home, which is about 7 to 8 minutes. My MIL is really upset about this, for good reason. I am at a loss. I don't think this is a medical problem or she would be doing it often. This has happened 3 times in the last 3 months, so I have assumed that it was just an accident or laziness. The other time she wet her pants at school. I have a call in to her pediatrician, but I wanted to ask if anyone has dealt with this or knows anyone who has dealt with this. She tries to pretend she doesn't know she has done it but she covers up with her jacket. I don't know where to start. She has a twin sister and an older brother and they have not had this problem so I am totally lost on how to deal with this. I looked up some stuff on the internet. She does not have fizzy drinks or high sugar juices, one of the things that causes wetting. I feel horrible for her. I have asked her about why and have told her that she can tell me anything, but she says she doesn't know why, that she knows she can go to the bathroom anytime she needs to. She is not afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. There has been nothing new going on - no new baby, no moves, no new jobs, nothing. Your help/advice is greatly appreciated.
My daughter has just begun wetting her pants in the middle of the day. She is 7, so she has been potty trained for a long time. We have had the occasional night bed wetting, over the years, but that has stopped. She has done it twice in my MIL's car during a trip from school to home, which is about 7 to 8 minutes. My MIL is really upset about this, for good reason. I am at a loss. I don't think this is a medical problem or she would be doing it often. This has happened 3 times in the last 3 months, so I have assumed that it was just an accident or laziness. The other time she wet her pants at school. I have a call in to her pediatrician, but I wanted to ask if anyone has dealt with this or knows anyone who has dealt with this. She tries to pretend she doesn't know she has done it but she covers up with her jacket. I don't know where to start. She has a twin sister and an older brother and they have not had this problem so I am totally lost on how to deal with this. I looked up some stuff on the internet. She does not have fizzy drinks or high sugar juices, one of the things that causes wetting. I feel horrible for her. I have asked her about why and have told her that she can tell me anything, but she says she doesn't know why, that she knows she can go to the bathroom anytime she needs to. She is not afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. There has been nothing new going on - no new baby, no moves, no new jobs, nothing. Your help/advice is greatly appreciated.
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Replies
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Not sure sweetie... Is she emarassed when it happens? Maybe just being to busy with other things she holds it too long...0
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I've been through this a couple of times with my daughter who's almost 6. The first time it happened was when she was 4, after a year of being potty trained and having no accidents, she suddenly started pooping in her underwear. However, my grandmother (her great-grandmother) had passed away a few weeks before it started, and it seemed that it had to be a reaction to that. It lasted a couple months and then stopped. The second time was when she started kindergarten this year, and it turned out that she was scared to ask to go to the bathroom in her new classroom. Even though she could go anytime she wanted, she was unclear about how to ask, and maybe somewhat embarrassed to ask in front of the other kids. We had a talk with her teacher, and they worked it out.
I don't know if any of this helps you, but I just wanted to let you know that this happens with other kids too. Sometimes it's really hard to tell the reason for it.0 -
The pediatrician is a good start! But I would be asking for a conference at the school with the teacher. Find out if there's anything going on with the other kids, things like that.0
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I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.
I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.
If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.
If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.
Please keep us posted!0 -
Could be a uti, yeast infection. Actually I have heard of this being a common problem in males as they enter puberty,perhaps it happens to girls too.0
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Sudden trauma can bring on these types of issues in young children. Possibly bullying or abuse at school or elsewhere.
I'd go to a professional.0 -
I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.
I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.
If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.
If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.
Please keep us posted!
^^this0 -
I 3rd/4th the suggestions about seeing a professional.
There are a lot of thing it could be, see a doc, if the doc thinks she seems fine take her to see a therapist.0 -
She knows it's wrong/embarrassing because she covers it with her jacket. Regardless of what's going on she needs all the love and support she can get. She may have a weak bladder, maybe something happened at school, is she overweight? .. There are so many reasons, but hopefully the pediatrician will be able to help with answers. Good luck!0
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I haven't dealt with this-mine's still little, but my thoughts are maybe anxiety or a UTI? I agree, check with the pediatrican to rule out a medical issue, then find out if there's anything externally going on that's causing her stress. Poor pumpkin. You are a good mom for trying to help her. You'll figure it out
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Could there be something bothering her at school? My son has not had that happen, but last year he had perfect attendance, was fine every morning when he left, but all of the sudden he was going to the office with really bad stomachaches almost every day. After a couple of times of bringing him home and experiencing a speedy recovery I started asking questions but not getting answers. My mom works at his school and had been popping into his room to check on him, his teacher (who he loved) talked to him... no answers. It turned out that when his teacher was turned away working on the board or helping another child, the boy next to him was poking, kicking, and hitting my little guy...and Ry was not telling on him because he thought this boy was his friend and would be mad at him! When he finally told me the teacher dealt with him right away and Ry went back to being a perfectly healthy boy. Sometimes our kids experience stress where we don't think to look, Ry is a sweet kid who is friends with everyone so one of those "friends" bullying had never crossed my mind... Now I know better. Good luck with your daughter! :flowerforyou:0
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I 3rd/4th the suggestions about seeing a professional.
There are a lot of thing it could be, see a doc, if the doc thinks she seems fine take her to see a therapist.
THIS!!!!!0 -
I had a cousin with the same issue at that age. She would wet herself a little and I think the only thing they found was a slight bladder control issue. She grew out of it though I'm not sure how quickly. Don't worry TOO much.
With bladder control troubles maybe she wet herself when she was laughing and then was embarrassed by that and wanted to hide it? It also could be caused by anxiety. I think the doctor will be able to give you a better answer than we can.0 -
This is often a reaction to something emotional that's going on or something bad that's happening in a child's life. I would find out if she possibly has a bully at school or if something else is going on with her.
The pediatrician is definitely a good first step.0 -
My D6 is a very active, very bright child. She gets so involved in her projects and is so afraid she'll miss something, that she postpones going potty until it is too late. She has accidents in her seat or in front of the potty (when she rushes there). Maybe your daughter doesn't want to make people wait for her while she uses the restroom? So she doesn't ask to go before she heads home in the car? I would start asking her if she needs to go, and also watch for signs she is postponing potty runs (ie: dancing around, holding herself) then stop her and send her off to the bathroom. Added: These accidents are occurring less and less, by the way.
But also, check with the pediatrician for any medical issues.0 -
Not sure sweetie... Is she emarassed when it happens? Maybe just being to busy with other things she holds it too long...
No, that is the strange thing. She is not embarrassed at all. She hides it.0 -
Not sure sweetie... Is she emarassed when it happens? Maybe just being to busy with other things she holds it too long...
No, that is the strange thing. She is not embarrassed at all. She hides it.
If she's hiding it she's embarrassed....0 -
Sudden trauma can bring on these types of issues in young children. Possibly bullying or abuse at school or elsewhere.
I'd go to a professional.
^ This!
One of the things I learned while getting my teaching degree was that teachers need to be aware of signs of abuse, and wetting oneself (expecially if the child is older) could be an indicator. Don't want to freak you out, but it's just something to keep in the back of your head somewhere. Maybe if you can get her talking (to you or a professional)...0 -
That's what I was going to say....that IS a sign of embarrassment.0
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Clearly, something is preventing her from using the bathroom at school, so she is holding it until she is released.
Pretend like you know the reason, and it will come out.
If I am wrong, then a trip to the doctors should rule out any physical ailment.0 -
I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.
I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.
If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.
If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.
Please keep us posted!
The abuse is the first thing that came to mind. My ex has the girls every other week. I would not accuse anyone of something like that and she has not said anything like that, but yes, it did cross my mind. She is not around anyone else other than us and my MIL.0 -
Not sure sweetie... Is she emarassed when it happens? Maybe just being to busy with other things she holds it too long...
No, that is the strange thing. She is not embarrassed at all. She hides it.
If she's hiding it she's embarrassed....
YEP -- this is true.0 -
My daughter had the same issue and she is 8. When I took her to the doctor they said that her bladder was constantly giving her brain signs that she had to go to the bathroom. Because of this, she couldn't distinguish when she did and didn't have to go. They said that it is a pretty common thing in young girls and gave her some medication to calm it down. Since she has been on it the accidents have stopped. They said to keep her on it for about a year, and then we will wean her off. The doctor said that she will probably outgrow it by then. If she is not having any emotional stress, that may be the issue as well.0
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I know I am going to be the bad guy right now.
First ....I am with the others going to a professional is the best advice....especially if its a new onset problem. Usually it comes from an emotional trauma at school or elsewhere but I am not a professional
Second.....I understand your confused and worried trust me I am a parent....but, atleast for me....I would have asked someone closer to to me...I just don't really thing this is where it should be disucussed...But again this is my opinion....I tend to keep things with my child a bit more private
Still best of luck and I hope the issue resolves soon and shes is ok0 -
I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.
I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.
If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.
If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.
Please keep us posted!
The abuse is the first thing that came to mind. My ex has the girls every other week. I would not accuse anyone of something like that and she has not said anything like that, but yes, it did cross my mind. She is not around anyone else other than us and my MIL.
And her teachers and other kids at school and who knows who else while she's out of your care. You don't need to accuse anyone but I highly doubt anyone here is capable of actually diagnosing the situation over the internet. You really should go to a professional.0 -
I know several people have brought this up but seeing her doctor is a good place to start, What you are saying can be a sign of a UTI- urinary tract infection.
and as a few others have pointed out signs of some type of stress in her life or something has happened. Talk to her and also make a doctor appt to see if there is a medical reason.0 -
I would bet...none of us arebut I am not a professional0 -
I would think if it was a medical issue, it would happen a lot more often than three times in three months.
I do remember when I was around that age, we had a really strict teacher who often ignored kids when they raised their hands to use the restroom, telling us we should have gone after lunch, until one girl wet herself in class. THEN, and only then, did she say, "Well, if you really, really, really need to go, just get up and go, even if I don't call on you." It still strikes me as odd, and mean, that she managed to blame the girl, who was only following the rules of don't talk in class and raise your hand if you need to be excused. We were first graders... how were we supposed to know when to follow and when to break the rules?0 -
These responses are great. I am definitely going to talk to the Ped when she calls me back. I have talked to my daughter and have explained that I am not angry or upset, however, my MIL has flipped out on her already - screaming and lecturing her and then lecturing me so that doesn't help my daughter.
I will also talk to the teachers. My daughter is not overweight, so she does not get teased about that. She wears glasses but there was only one little girl who teased her and that was last year. She told me about it right away and I addressed it. She also has vitiligo, white patches on the skin. She says that the kids ask her what it is and she tells them. They don't understand and they end up dropping the subject. They don't make fun of her, as far as what she has told me. She has had this for years so I don't think that is contributing to the wetting.0 -
I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.
I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.
If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.
If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.
Please keep us posted!
The abuse is the first thing that came to mind. My ex has the girls every other week. I would not accuse anyone of something like that and she has not said anything like that, but yes, it did cross my mind. She is not around anyone else other than us and my MIL.
And her teachers and other kids at school and who knows who else while she's out of your care. You don't need to accuse anyone but I highly doubt anyone here is capable of actually diagnosing the situation over the internet. You really should go to a professional.
Exactly. Professionals can tell you if maybe it's just a UTI, or she's just embarrassed about something at school, or if a girl in her class made her feel uncomfortable. Therapists are trained to talk to children without implanting false memories, see a therapist, it might just be a minor thing.
Don't just accuse anyone without reason and without her seeing a therapist.0
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