Who to make happy: Boyfriend vs Best Friend

I'm thinking you should do what makes YOU happy. If you don't feel comfortable at a bar, perhaps suggest going to a movie with your friend to celebrate this weekend, or something else that you will both enjoy. Or if you want to go, tell your boyfriend it's not up to him, that you'll take care of yourself and call him if you need him.

^this. First of all, he's just a boyfriend. Someone who may or may not be there in the future as well as the best friend. YOU should be happy before anyone else. Don't regret something 5 years down the road because you did or didn't do something.

Believe me...I've had a 10 year relationship as well as a 20 year friendship go down the drain and limited myself in both situations wishing I would have stuck to what made me happy first. I am also a recovering alcoholic and my TRUE friends understand what makes me uncomfortable about drinking situations.

It's a matter of faith and the culture I grew up in. I'm Zimbabwean and was raised in a strict household so the whole drinking, smoking, partying thing was always a no no, especially for a female child. So I feel like I am betraying a lot by going. But at the same time I believe what you are saying and really think I'll be okay. But my own internal will against it, plus my boyfriend make it difficult to just go

I would never suggest someone go against their faith. (Their boyfriend, YES, their faith, no...)
Would it be against your faith to go but not drink, smoke, etc....? You could be a sort of designated driver. (If you don't drive, you could at least be the one with sober judgement.) Many drinks can be made "virgin" (no alcohol), or you could just drink diet pop.
As for your boyfriend, if he still has a problem with a female going to a bar with other femaies and no male escort(I'm assuming he is from the same faith and culture), you could find out if he'd be welcome, explaining to your friend your perspective.

BTW, I opted out of a friend's bachelorette party because the maid of honor was hiring a male stripper. I felt attending was disrespectful to my husband. Her and I are still friends. A true friend will not expect you to go against your conscience. (I do mean your conscience, not your boyfriend's. I decided the party with male stripper was wrong for me, not my husband.)

Would your friend object if you brought your boyfriend with you? It would make him feel better about it and probably you too... then, if you guys are uncomfortable, you can bow out early.

Or...

When in doubt, fake a headache! :laugh:

Do what makes you happy! Can you take your boyfriend with you? Or is it a girls night out? Shoot he should let you!

Bars are not some crazy, drunken parties with bar fights and stuff Most bars are just people eating, having a few drinks, and keeping to themselves. So unless your friend wants to go to Coyote Ugly or something, it likely won't be that different from going to a restaurant. If YOU'RE uncomfortable, don't go. But if you want to, you should. Your boyfriend should trust that you'll be safe and you'll be with people who can take care of you. I mean, unless your friend and all the people going with her plan on getting schwasty faced, it'll likely be pretty low key. I mean, every time I've gone out for drink everyone has one, max two drinks and then we all go home.

Your convictions are important. It sounds like you do want to go but in a way you know you shouldn't.
If you really really really don't want to go ...don't , If you go and feel uncomfortable and have a terrible time you may resent her for it .

Not all bars are a bad environment. Not all drunk people are bad or dangerous. I say give it a chance and do your friend a favor and grant her her birthday wish. If you've never gone to a bar you can't really judge. Maybe you'll have a fun time. I've gone out with friends and not drank before and had fun and felt safe.

I really don't understand your boyfriend's perspective. Does he really think you are that fragile that you can't handle yourself? He is only a phone call away even if things did get uncomfortable.That is sad you can't go celebrate with your best friend because of his insecurities. Who cares if you get hit on? It doesn't mean you are jumping into bed with them, it just means they think you're attractive. How about you make a deal with him that the second things get uncomfortable that you will call him. And who says you have to stay the whole time?
I have been to a bar with my girlfriends and the worse that has happened is guys talk to you. The world does have some crazy people but you shouldn't assume the worst, and neither should he.