The Opposite of Body Dysmorphia

Hi!

Not sure if this is what your talking about- I don't think I'm considered "fat"- I'm just over the "overweight" line- but I gained about 20 lbs in a year and experienced some cognitive dissonance about the weight gain (i.e. total denial that my appearance had changed)

I finally saw a picture of myself in August and was like "WHOA! That's what I look like??" Apparently I hadn't been seeing that person in the mirror... And thus began my journey..

So yeah, I kinda know what you mean.

Sort of the same thing with me. I look in the mirror, and I see a fat person but not an obese person. I can acknowledge the weight is an issue... but it's like I minimize it. It's not that I think I look great, but that I am acceptable. I saw a picture of myself recently and I nearly died inside. I have really seen my obesity for what it is, and I am now ashamed that I have let it get this way.

So, yes, I know what you mean. And there are days that I dress with a certain hat, or favorite shirt, or something like that, and I think I look fantastic. Once I did that, and when I saw the photo later (this was recently too), I couldn't believe I looked like I did. I looked fat - that's all you would notice. Nothing else.

And THAT is when MY journey began.

This thought came to me in a recent thread about body dysmorphia, and I felt like it would be inappropriate to bring it up there.

Do any other fat people look in the mirror and not see a fat person?

I am 100% serious and this is wicked not meant to be a troll post. When I look in the mirror, I don't see a fat man. I mean, I can see that huge ball of fat on my stomach, but it does not process in my self image. I look in the mirror and think, "Dang, you look good today." Rarely, my size will hit me and I will feel self-conscious, like when I was at my wife's company's Christmas party and I realized that out of 500+ people, I was the fattest in the room. I don't even hold onto that self-consciousness for long, though, before I'm back to thinking I'm all that.

Do any other fat men and women out there not see themselves as fat?

This is common with men.

We don't see what the world sees.
Our delusion runs deep.

I don't think it's just men that do that....I knew that I was bigger but had no idea I looked as bad as I did until I saw a picture like 6 months after having my daughter. I was huge!

I just recently tipped the scales at "obese" BMI wise. I realized I was gaining weight, but I thought I still looked pretty good. Until one day I put on a turtleneck sweater I had just bought and noticed my double chin. It wasn't huge, but I definitely hadn't seen it before. Later, I got in the shower and noticed some new stretch marks on my thighs and breasts. I certainly hadn't had those before.

I pulled up some recent pictures and compared them to a few of me 30 pounds ago. My face looked swollen and just not good.
Finally, one day after going to eat with my parents, I commented to my fiance that I probably shouldn't have eaten so much. He patted my stomach and stated that I probably should have skipped dessert.

Before everyone says what a jerk he was, I firmly believe attraction is a large part of a relationship. He had gained some weight previously and it was starting to bother me. He eventually lost it, and I was much happier. You would think I would connect that to my weight gain being not so attractive, but I just thought mine was better distributed. (Har har). When we met we were both active and had promised to tell each other if the other gained too much weight. I would rather know that my partner was having issues with my appearance, and have them kindly tell me, then be in denial and expect them to be okay with it.

All of those things finally just connected. All those thoughts of "oh, my pants are getting too small" and "hmm, I weigh more than my fiance" and "wow is that really me in that picture? I must have just been the light or the angle" hit me all at once. I finally saw how fat I really had gotten, and decided to make a change.

I think it took so long because when I was in great shape at around 150, people always thought I weighed about 30 pounds less than I did. I had this image of a healthy, active person in my head and it took awhile to realize that that person wasn't the one in the mirror.

1. I appreciate that you said "wicked."

2. I think that's definitely possible. Maybe more in terms of denial rather than ignorance, in my experience.. But could totally be possible! Another thing is, people just GET USED to situations, be that their weight or their level of hygiene or how clean their house is, etc. I had a friend in high school who's house always spelled like cat pee (reeked... So did all his clothes.. Ew) but he had no idea since he had just always lived that way. Maybe that's not the best example lol but my point is, I think it's more likely a comfort level thing than being disillusioned, for most people.

Thanks for posting this. I wondered about it too. Until recently I thought I looked like how I do now. So when I was 75 lbs heavier, I thought I was size 11/12 or 14 in my head. I could not believe the pictures. However, now that I'm a little smaller I see a fatter person than is there. I just got into a size 9/10 and I still see a size 14. I wonder if it is common for our brains to see what we think is normal.
Hmmm.....

at my biggest (230lbs ish and 5'2"), i never thought i was fat. i never have. always thought i was pudgy though, and despite having lost 55lbs i still look in the mirror and see exactly the same pudgy person looking back at me.

Oh YEAH! That my life story! DENIAL!

But hey dude - I can see your picture and you ARE a cute guy. Hear me and believe this, you are cute now, but you will be a KILLER when you lose your weight.

You owe it to yourself to do that.

There is such a thing as having too much confidence....

I know what you mean though. It normally takes a picture, especially where i am with someone of normal weight for me to see how fat I really am

I think I look good til I see pictures. I don't like how big I look in pictures.

lol this post is funny because me and a friend were just talking about this.

I look in the mirror and think "Damn, I hid my body fat pretty good today" or look and think "Dang I look good in these jeans" then someone goes and takes a picture of me and shows it to me and I think OMG how did I get so fat in just a couple of hours? lol. I seriously don't see it until I see it in a picture.

I have a few overweight male friends who think they're gods gift to women. I'm pretty sure that is what you're getting at.

BMI is BS. I'm overweight & aiming for obese.

BMI is BS. I'm overweight & aiming for obese.

I know that it is, but it still makes me sad.

I understand where you're coming from. I had a similar mindset, then one day it just hit me. It wasn't that I was HAPPY with my weight - far from it, I just never saw myself as "fat". Seeing myself as fat is what helped me get to where I am now.