Saying 'I love you' for the first time
Kenzietea2
Posts: 1,132 Member
Let's face it, saying 'I love you' for the first time and be exciting and terrifying. I have never said it first, probably because I do realize it typically seems more daunting for a man to express the 'love' emotion; so the last thing I want to do is scare him off. For all of you who have been in love, how did it happen? How far into the relationship? If the other person said it first, did you say it back? Did you mean it? Who has an awkward 'I love you' moment? I am curious about other's experiences, since no two are the same.
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To answer my own question:
I am currently engaged and he said it first, although not long after I was thinking it. I was laying on his chest and he said "You know I love you, right?". It wasn't too far into our relationship, maybe 3 months. After experiencing love with him, the other times I have experienced it don't even seem like love at all!
As for bad experiences, I had this one BOY tell me after the first date. Although we had a blast on the date (we went to disneyland), I would definitely not say I loved the guy. I had to go back to military school in new mexico shortly afterwards, where he drove up for my birthday (from southern california, 15 hour drive) to spend 2 days there, where he decorated his hotel room with rose petals and gave me a promise ring and had cheesy music playing with lots of lit candles. Basically, I freaked out and the first thought was "restraining order" (lol). It was only after 3 dates he drove all the way to see me! If we were in a serious relationship it would have been romantic...but 3 dates? It reminded me of the scene in Good Luck Chuck where he dressed like a penguin and proposed.0 -
Oh man, ur totally right about those big three words "i love you"
They're intense.
Its weird, im so used to people throwing it around me like "omg u held the door open? I love you!" or "i love u, ur so funny" so im a little jaded by the phrase. Ive only told 3 people i love them in my life; only 1 wasnt related to me, that was my girlfriend.
I was so wrecked over the thought of even saying "i love you" to her, i knew it was such anxiety riddled decision. Like 3 years ago, we were moving from San Diego back to Orange County, hardly any money to our names and only one had a job, we just moved in and had nearly nothing. Ate dinner sittin on the floor and didnt even have a tv yet or a lamp for that matter. I felt so horrible cus i thought i should be in a better position to take care of her. So one night while eating chinese off our knees, i told her how low i felt.
To paraphrase, she told me she didnt care if we were homeless, she'd stick with me. Thats when without even thinking, i gave her the biggest tackle hug and told her how much i really loved her.
Not sure if i'll end up saying it to someone else, tho im open to it, but skeptical.0 -
I've said it to about 3 people that weren't related.
One is my fiance, it didn't take long...I'm not a big believer in "love at first sight" she kinda changed that.
Two was my ex-wife.
Three was a girlfriend I had when I was in high school.
I don't take those words lightly, and in my opinion it's used way to much...but when you feel it, and its reciprocated, there is nothing like it.0 -
can do what I did at New year, get totally wasted and say it between running back and forward to the bathroom to hurl :L
he said it back though
(I think...) 0 -
I "said" it first through email and we weren't even dating! hahaha
He was my best friend and was dating this girl, we were emailing back and forth because he invited me to Ozzfest with him. I had known him since I was 15. I wish i still had those emails...they were cute! LOL0 -
To me, love takes on many forms. A few replies have spoken to just throwing the term around, and I see that a lot, too. But because love has many forms to me, I say it to a lot of people. I have friends on here I've said it to, and genuinely mean it - however, I'm not IN love with them. I can love someone, and care very deeply for them, and not be IN love with them.
As I get older, and mature, I look back on my life at the people I've said 'I love you' to, thinking I was in love with them. Out of the 5 people I've said it to, I'd take it back now from 2 of them. One of them, unfortunately, being my ex-husband. I did not marry that man for love...or for money. lol They guy I dated all through high school and for 2 years afterwards, I was madly in love with. For YEARS, as in up until just recently, he was the great love of my life. The man I dated after my divorce, again, fell madly in love with him. I told him first. We were in a secluded spot looking out over the city, and I kissed him and told him I loved him. He knew it was coming, we'd both been half-assed saying it for months. I knew he wasn't going to say it back, so as soon as I said it, I just told him I needed him to know that and we went on about our night. We dated for almost a year after that and he never did say it to me, but he showed it. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he loved me. With my current bf, it didn't take long at all! He says I said it first, but I think he did. lol And this is a different, and deeper love than I've ever felt before. We are connected on so many levels it gets spooky sometimes. lol I just like to think that we have the capacity to love more than one person, even at a time, though with some just in a different capacity.0 -
The first time it was ever said between my boyfriend and I (husband now) HE TOLD ME that I LOVED HIM! Of course I had thought about it... felt it...etc. but NEVER said it out loud. One day we were on the phone and I said "There is something about you..." to which he replied "No, there is nothing special about me except that you love me." :smooched: I said, "You know what? I DO love you." it was about 3 min after we hung up that I grabbed the phone, dialed back and said "Hold on a second! You don't get off that easy!":laugh: :laugh: 0 -
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl you are so young, and engaged??????????????0
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You are really pretty and that makes me too intimidated to reply.0
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I said it first to my now-husband. We were in Key West together at an employment law seminar. We had been involved for quite awhile, but both had been burned badly in first marriages. We were sitting together on a pier, the moon was shining on the water, and I thought, "I'd better not let this moment pass." So, with my heart pounding, I said, "I love you, but you don't need to say it back." He said it back, and we've been together and stronger ever since. It was 03-15-2005, which is where the 0315 comes from in my name.0
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said it three days after we met and we have been together for 11yrs now!
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The word "love" is thrown about so casually, much like "friend" that it's worth as a word has largely degraded.
Say it only if you mean it. Not because its expected or because you feel that's what you have to say.0 -
Well...when I met my husband we both knew pretty much within a couple of days that we were falling for each other. Ordinarily I would never have said it first. One day I was leaning on his shoulder while he was driving and it started to slip out. I caught myself and it came out like this, "I love your pants." To which he replied, "I love you too."0
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To answer my own question:
I am currently engaged and he said it first, although not long after I was thinking it. I was laying on his chest and he said "You know I love you, right?".
This is NOT saying "I love you"... more of a weaker version. I told my wife (then girlfriend) "I love you" and did not hear it back.. got nothing. I did this for three weeks before I got one back. I know she loves me, been married almost 15 years.0 -
me and my boyfriend have known eachother since we were kids and lost contact but when we were reunited 2 years ago the spark just reunited
he told me within days it took me a few weeks to say it back but everytime i say it these days i mean it. 0 -
I've felt it, but have never said it to anyone seriously... much to the chagrin of a few boyfriends.
I'm not very good at opening up to others. (obviously haha)0 -
It can be hard to know when it's appropriate in a new relationship.0
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people are always so quick to confuse a very strong lust for love . as i have gotten older i believe you dont truly love someone until pretty far into a relationship . those feelings you feel the first few months that you think oohhhhh i love you is just butterflies and rainbows lust. but this is just my opinion and i think all men are children so what do i know ( sorry a little *****y this morning ) .0
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can't answer this one...too hard and too personal.0
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The word "love" is thrown about so casually, much like "friend" that it's worth as a word has largely degraded.
Say it only if you mean it. Not because its expected or because you feel that's what you have to say.
THIS0 -
said it three days after we met and we have been together for 11yrs now!
My fiance texted me three days after we met: "I Lo......." he then said he felt it but was too scared to say it because he didn't want to scare me. I just said "I Lo you too" and that's been our inside joke for almost 3 years now!
getting married in November and can't wait! WHEN YA KNOW, YA KNOW! 0 -
My now husband is the only one I've really said it too, besides close friends and my family. The only intimate relationship I've said it in. I was always afraid to say it, and afraid to hear it, I usually broke up with a guy shortly after him confessing his feelings. So when me and my husband were dating for only about 2 or 3 months, we were in the kitchen doing dishes and he started saying it and I stopped him and told him not to until he was sure that I would say it back. And then about 6 months in, I asked him to try again and I said it back. It seems so early to me to have said it, heck I was with one guy for 5 years and never said it. But everything just felt so right and comfortable with my husband, still does, so I guess 6 months is plenty of time when the right guy is staring you in the face.0
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I've only said it to two people in my life. They were girls I was always attracted to but became in the friend zone (a year or two apart). But then we became best friends (both of them) and slowly started dating. One instance happened on the phone and repeating it felt natural. We dated and were practically a couple for a month or so but I think she became to insecure and scared of starting a relationship and that kind of was destroyed.
Then the other girl ended up busting it out while she was drunk, which meant a little but not as big. But things never ended up the way it was supposed to. Small story, they became jealous of each other and it left me with noone! (crazy, i would never think something like that would happen to me!). Both girls didn't want to lose me but weren't ready for relationships. Kind of pains me because I was probably best friends with them at different points of my life, and now I don't ever speak to them ever.0 -
My partner and i had been together for a few months when he first said "i love you" it was Bonfire night 2006....ill never ever forget it and whenever i hear/see fireworks i hear him say it all over again and get the same butterflies in my stomach.
Id fallen in love with him within moments of meeting him!
A truely head over heels madly in love that has never ever faultered. :smooched:
i thought id been in love before (id been married had kids etc) but nothing compares to the love i feel for him :blushing:
Obviously i love my children but thats a different type of love 0 -
My most recent ex said it about 2-3 months in...and even though I was ready to say it I was TERRIFIED. We were watching a movie, and I was half sleeping on his chest, and he whispered it in my ear...and I panicked and pretended to be asleep! Real smooth, I know. He said it again a few weeks later and he mumbled it, so I was like "What?" even though I knew what he said, so he mumbled it again, so I was like "What?" and he's like "I'm hungry!" So...yeah. He finally said it again and it was fine (OK, I was still freaking out...but in a good way...but terrifying way too...LoL.) The "L" word is terrifying to me.0
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so funny story...the first time i ever said it to my current bf of 2+ years i was absolutely HAMMERED. we had gone to a friends house, he did something to make me mad, and the next thing i knew i had finished one of those plastice traveler flask-looking bottles of vodka :ohwell: . needless to say i didn't remember much from that night. there's only 2 things i remember. 1) smashing my head on the corner of my dresser (still have the scar). and 2) telling him that i loved him.
luckily it worked out pretty well for us anyway. the next night we were talking about it and i apologized. he asked me if i meant it and i replied "it was one of the only things i remembered from last night". after that he said "i might be crazy, but i love you too" 0 -
We met online, and it was long distance, about 100 miles. After a couple of months of talking, I asked if he wanted to come with me to a club to watch my friend's band perform. It was in his part of town. It was a fantastic first date and I found myself really smitten with him.
That was in September. Around January, we were IM'ing when he hinted that he might want to drop the "L" word. After a bit of panic, I told him that I didn't think I was ready for that yet. (I had gotten out of a nasty, emotionally abusive relationship that July.)
By the time February was rolling around, I suddenly found myself with a lot more money than what I had before. He knew it was a dream of mine to move to the city to actually get a tech job and build a better life for myself, so he suggested I stay with him until I could get on my feet. I quit my wretched job and planned to move in around the 17th.
In the mean time, I decided to give him an incredibly special V-Day present. I took a piece of paper and wrote "I love you" on it and put it in a little box with a bow and then had a large time taunting and confusing him when he tried to guess what I had gotten him. :laugh: When he opened the box, I told him the other part of the gift was that he got to choose who went first. He decided he would, and for the next week, he said it about about a dozen times a day. It was so cute.
And the conclusion is that I did move in, ended up staying there 11 months, and then got my own place. Of course, he ended up being over at my place more than he did his own, and at the end of December, just shy of an entire year of having separate residences, he let his lease go and moved in with me. I'm going to keep him. :smooched:0 -
those feelings you feel the first few months that you think oohhhhh i love you is just butterflies and rainbows lust.
I beg to differ. I had those feelings when I met someone nearly 11 years ago. It didn't take us long to say "I love you" to each other and within 3 months of meeting, we were planning our wedding. (And no, I wasn't pregnant.) This May, we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, we have 4 beautiful children, and he still gives me butterflies!!
To answer the OP's question, though, I don't remember who said it first...I think he did. But it was very early on. When you know, you just know. Looking back on my other relationships, they were obviously not the "real thing."0 -
:flowerforyou:0
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When my son was a child, when I was putting him to bed I'd say just as I was leaving the room and turning out the light - "Guess What!".. "What?" he'd say. "I Love You" I'd say..
As he grew up all I'd have to say is "Guess What" and he'd say "I know".. Even to this day (and he is now 21) I can still say it.
Not sure I ever said it to anyone bar his father. He said it back a lot. I realised later, he "loved me" most when he thought I was about to find out who he was sleeping with the night before!! :mad:
Have never fallen in love like I did with him & he used those words to hide his badness.. So any boyfriend I've had since, I've never said it.. :frown:
Still single, still waiting for the white knight!! (Or at least someone who puts honesty, integrity and morals ahead of having a good time!!) 0
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