Saying 'I love you' for the first time

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Kenzietea2
Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
in Chit-Chat
Let's face it, saying 'I love you' for the first time and be exciting and terrifying. I have never said it first, probably because I do realize it typically seems more daunting for a man to express the 'love' emotion; so the last thing I want to do is scare him off. For all of you who have been in love, how did it happen? How far into the relationship? If the other person said it first, did you say it back? Did you mean it? Who has an awkward 'I love you' moment? I am curious about other's experiences, since no two are the same.
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  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    To answer my own question:
    I am currently engaged and he said it first, although not long after I was thinking it. I was laying on his chest and he said "You know I love you, right?". It wasn't too far into our relationship, maybe 3 months. After experiencing love with him, the other times I have experienced it don't even seem like love at all!

    As for bad experiences, I had this one BOY tell me after the first date. Although we had a blast on the date (we went to disneyland), I would definitely not say I loved the guy. I had to go back to military school in new mexico shortly afterwards, where he drove up for my birthday (from southern california, 15 hour drive) to spend 2 days there, where he decorated his hotel room with rose petals and gave me a promise ring and had cheesy music playing with lots of lit candles. Basically, I freaked out and the first thought was "restraining order" (lol). It was only after 3 dates he drove all the way to see me! If we were in a serious relationship it would have been romantic...but 3 dates? It reminded me of the scene in Good Luck Chuck where he dressed like a penguin and proposed.
  • david581c
    david581c Posts: 337
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    Oh man, ur totally right about those big three words "i love you"
    They're intense.
    Its weird, im so used to people throwing it around me like "omg u held the door open? I love you!" or "i love u, ur so funny" so im a little jaded by the phrase. Ive only told 3 people i love them in my life; only 1 wasnt related to me, that was my girlfriend.

    I was so wrecked over the thought of even saying "i love you" to her, i knew it was such anxiety riddled decision. Like 3 years ago, we were moving from San Diego back to Orange County, hardly any money to our names and only one had a job, we just moved in and had nearly nothing. Ate dinner sittin on the floor and didnt even have a tv yet or a lamp for that matter. I felt so horrible cus i thought i should be in a better position to take care of her. So one night while eating chinese off our knees, i told her how low i felt.

    To paraphrase, she told me she didnt care if we were homeless, she'd stick with me. Thats when without even thinking, i gave her the biggest tackle hug and told her how much i really loved her.

    Not sure if i'll end up saying it to someone else, tho im open to it, but skeptical.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
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    I've said it to about 3 people that weren't related.

    One is my fiance, it didn't take long...I'm not a big believer in "love at first sight" she kinda changed that.

    Two was my ex-wife.

    Three was a girlfriend I had when I was in high school.

    I don't take those words lightly, and in my opinion it's used way to much...but when you feel it, and its reciprocated, there is nothing like it.
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
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    can do what I did at New year, get totally wasted and say it between running back and forward to the bathroom to hurl :L
    he said it back though :D (I think...)
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
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    I "said" it first through email and we weren't even dating! hahaha
    He was my best friend and was dating this girl, we were emailing back and forth because he invited me to Ozzfest with him. I had known him since I was 15. I wish i still had those emails...they were cute! LOL
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    To me, love takes on many forms. A few replies have spoken to just throwing the term around, and I see that a lot, too. But because love has many forms to me, I say it to a lot of people. I have friends on here I've said it to, and genuinely mean it - however, I'm not IN love with them. I can love someone, and care very deeply for them, and not be IN love with them.

    As I get older, and mature, I look back on my life at the people I've said 'I love you' to, thinking I was in love with them. Out of the 5 people I've said it to, I'd take it back now from 2 of them. One of them, unfortunately, being my ex-husband. I did not marry that man for love...or for money. lol They guy I dated all through high school and for 2 years afterwards, I was madly in love with. For YEARS, as in up until just recently, he was the great love of my life. The man I dated after my divorce, again, fell madly in love with him. I told him first. We were in a secluded spot looking out over the city, and I kissed him and told him I loved him. He knew it was coming, we'd both been half-assed saying it for months. I knew he wasn't going to say it back, so as soon as I said it, I just told him I needed him to know that and we went on about our night. We dated for almost a year after that and he never did say it to me, but he showed it. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he loved me. With my current bf, it didn't take long at all! He says I said it first, but I think he did. lol And this is a different, and deeper love than I've ever felt before. We are connected on so many levels it gets spooky sometimes. lol I just like to think that we have the capacity to love more than one person, even at a time, though with some just in a different capacity.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    :heart: The first time it was ever said between my boyfriend and I (husband now) HE TOLD ME that I LOVED HIM! Of course I had thought about it... felt it...etc. but NEVER said it out loud. One day we were on the phone and I said "There is something about you..." to which he replied "No, there is nothing special about me except that you love me." :smooched: I said, "You know what? I DO love you." it was about 3 min after we hung up that I grabbed the phone, dialed back and said "Hold on a second! You don't get off that easy!":laugh: :laugh:
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl you are so young, and engaged??????????????
  • magdamccraven
    magdamccraven Posts: 75 Member
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    You are really pretty and that makes me too intimidated to reply.
  • lindalee0315
    lindalee0315 Posts: 527 Member
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    I said it first to my now-husband. We were in Key West together at an employment law seminar. We had been involved for quite awhile, but both had been burned badly in first marriages. We were sitting together on a pier, the moon was shining on the water, and I thought, "I'd better not let this moment pass." So, with my heart pounding, I said, "I love you, but you don't need to say it back." He said it back, and we've been together and stronger ever since. It was 03-15-2005, which is where the 0315 comes from in my name.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
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    said it three days after we met and we have been together for 11yrs now! =)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    The word "love" is thrown about so casually, much like "friend" that it's worth as a word has largely degraded.

    Say it only if you mean it. Not because its expected or because you feel that's what you have to say.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Well...when I met my husband we both knew pretty much within a couple of days that we were falling for each other. Ordinarily I would never have said it first. One day I was leaning on his shoulder while he was driving and it started to slip out. I caught myself and it came out like this, "I love your pants." To which he replied, "I love you too."
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    To answer my own question:
    I am currently engaged and he said it first, although not long after I was thinking it. I was laying on his chest and he said "You know I love you, right?".

    This is NOT saying "I love you"... more of a weaker version. I told my wife (then girlfriend) "I love you" and did not hear it back.. got nothing. I did this for three weeks before I got one back. I know she loves me, been married almost 15 years.
  • tonilizzy88
    tonilizzy88 Posts: 968 Member
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    me and my boyfriend have known eachother since we were kids and lost contact but when we were reunited 2 years ago the spark just reunited :) he told me within days it took me a few weeks to say it back but everytime i say it these days i mean it.
  • kekl
    kekl Posts: 382 Member
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    I've felt it, but have never said it to anyone seriously... much to the chagrin of a few boyfriends.
    I'm not very good at opening up to others. (obviously haha)
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    It can be hard to know when it's appropriate in a new relationship.
  • emy10284
    emy10284 Posts: 171 Member
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    people are always so quick to confuse a very strong lust for love . as i have gotten older i believe you dont truly love someone until pretty far into a relationship . those feelings you feel the first few months that you think oohhhhh i love you is just butterflies and rainbows lust. but this is just my opinion and i think all men are children so what do i know ( sorry a little *****y this morning ) .
  • mimaduck83
    mimaduck83 Posts: 175 Member
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    can't answer this one...too hard and too personal.
  • emy10284
    emy10284 Posts: 171 Member
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    The word "love" is thrown about so casually, much like "friend" that it's worth as a word has largely degraded.

    Say it only if you mean it. Not because its expected or because you feel that's what you have to say.

    THIS

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