Dealing with Racism

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cabaray
cabaray Posts: 971 Member
My 10 year old daughter (who is half Mexican) comes home today from school upset because of a boy in her class. A classmate of hers told her that all Mexicans are lazy drug dealers who just lay around on the couch all day. He also made fun of catholics. He made comments a couple of months ago and I talked to the teacher, who in turn had a talk with the boy. Guess we're going to see that this gets officially dealt with. My husband is going to go off the deep end. I have always talked to my girls and told them that there will always be someone who has problems with other races and that it just shows their ignorance, but man I'm fired up tonight!
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  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
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    I feel so sorry for your daughters. Kids don't think like that unless their families subject them to it! It's a bloody shame, is what it is. My niece & nephew are half black/ half white.. My nephews only one. Someone sent me a hateful message online calling him all sorts of things. He's only 1. He had just turned 1 when I got the message. I cried over that one, wanted blood. I don't understand how people can say things like that & have it around their children, making them think its alright to belittle anyone for being even the tiniest bit different than them. It's no wonder the worlds in such a mess.
  • cashnhaydensmama
    cashnhaydensmama Posts: 41 Member
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    That is awful. I'm so sorry that your child has to deal with that at such a young age. :frown:
  • gunmetalsunrise
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    :( It enrages me every time I see these kinds of things directed towards very young children. And where do they learn it from? Their parents and a very racist/white privileged media. It makes me sick.

    I think it's very good that you're going to the next level with this, because it's completely inappropriate. You also sound like a great parent, and I'm glad your daughter has someone who will show her she is loved.
  • cashnhaydensmama
    cashnhaydensmama Posts: 41 Member
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    That is awful. I'm so sorry that your child has to deal with that at such a young age. :frown:

    well any age is terrible. But especilly when they are so young and impressionable. At least she has good parents who will stand behind her and support her!
  • CalJur
    CalJur Posts: 627 Member
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    Racism is here to stay unfortunately. As parents we should tell our children about their rich heritages and strongly dissuade them from believing all the racist stereotypes. Continue to monitor the situation at school and if you are unhappy with the actions taken continue to elevate your concern up the food chain until someone takes the proper action.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    My 10 year old daughter (who is half Mexican) comes home today from school upset because of a boy in her class. A classmate of hers told her that all Mexicans are lazy drug dealers who just lay around on the couch all day. He also made fun of catholics. He made comments a couple of months ago and I talked to the teacher, who in turn had a talk with the boy. Guess we're going to see that this gets officially dealt with. My husband is going to go off the deep end. I have always talked to my girls and told them that there will always be someone who has problems with other races and that it just shows their ignorance, but man I'm fired up tonight!
    I have 5 kids - all boys.
    My standing directive for bullies is ATTACK!
    Look them in the eye, smile, then SUCKER PUNCH!

    With girls, it's different.
    I know if the school can't handle it, I'd take it up with the punk's father with either mutual respect or capitulation on his part.
    The kid is just parroting what his idiot parents say behind closed doors.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    From a very early age, we have had open discussion about potential racism. They need to be strong enough to deal with it, because outside of the school there is no principal or teacher to run too. We live in a small town in southern Indiana. Quite honestly, she may be the first Mexican this kid has ever seen. At 10, he has been taught this behavior. We will deal with this...she's tough, this will only make her stronger!
  • elusivezero
    elusivezero Posts: 27 Member
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    i'm half european, half polynesian. i got insults from both sides with the same, age-old stereotypes. it saddens me, and i wish i could tell your daughter that despite the fact that people like that boy at school will always be around, whatever insults or hurtful things she may hear, it has nothing to do with her personally. its their problem - it's their ignorance that they just can't own and deal with.

    sending rays of sunshine her way.
  • simoriah_angel
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    I am so sorry to hear that you have to deal with racism with your children. Apparently the kid spouting off about lazy Mexicans has never learned about César Chávez, Octavio Paz, or any other hard working Mexicans. Maybe the teacher should pick a day/week/month to learn about the Mexican Culture (surprised that in this day and age, they don't already do this) to dispell some of this racist BS.

    I would love to know what in the hell the kid had to say about Catholics.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    To be honest, I'm surprised she didn't go at him. I think if it would have happened on the playground she would have, but they share a table in class and he said it during class. I think she was afraid to disrupt class.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    I would love to know what in the hell the kid had to say about Catholics.
    I don't know how it worded it, but making fun of Catholic rituals, Hail Mary's, etc...
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    .
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
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    I live in a really multicultural city and I never met like a proper genuine real life racist person until I was 17 in this town called Paisley, and I was so damn shocked! Like, I've lived such a sheltered life. Any racism here has been using the wrong words (like paki etc) and I do not believe it was meant in a malicious way, was just out of ignorance. I moved to the west coast and it amazes me how racist people are here, and how socially acceptable it is! I'd never met a proper actual I hate black/asian people/send them back to their own country person before that.

    Though I do remember when I was 5 some kids in my class were calling a wee asian boy "paki", and I had nae clue what it meant at all. I was so confused as to why they were all surrounding him shouting this strange word.
    Those kids were probably just parroting their parents, rather than being actual racists, which is awful. Thoughthey were right little ****s so I wouldn't put it past them to be horrible racists just naturally.

    Although on the flipside, I had a friend whose parents referred to getting a chinese take away as "gettin a *****y", and my friend always hated them calling it that (primary school age), so it goes to show that some kids stand up against their parents once they learn that it's wrong!
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Its a terrible thing; however, this is not the platform to use. Please see the rules.
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Yeah. I know what they're going through. Been there myself. Still even today. I live in a mostly white community. I have the leader of the Maryland chapter of the KKK living 10 miles from my home. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, no? The best for your family.
  • teamlangston
    teamlangston Posts: 25 Member
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    What kills me, is that there are so many mixed race individuals nowadays, they you would think some of this BS would quiet down. I had to explain what a "Spic" was the other day to my 6 year old son, because he heard a kid on the bus call another kid that. SERIOUSLY????
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    Its a terrible thing; however, this is not the platform to use. Please see the rules.

    4. Show Respect to All Groups and Individuals
    No derogatory references to sex, gender, ethnicity, religions, or sexual orientation, or endorsement of violence against any person or group, even if couched in humor, will be permitted. This includes expressing stereotypes about any group or community.

    Sorry, don't see where it says you can't talk about these things, just no stereotyping or derogatory references.
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    a very racist/white privileged media...

    I disagree with this portrayal of the media. If your point was valid we wouldn't have a bi-racial president.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with this. On the plus side, if the boy is only 10, there's hope.

    There's also hope because more people than ever are now multi-racial, and it's becoming the new normal.

    I think it's great to stand up for yourself, especially when someone is bullying. Does the school have a social worker or psychologist? Or maybe you can coach your daughter to say, "Stop saying such racist things. It's not right." Maybe the child has never heard anyone say that before. Maybe he's only heard the racist comments and is parroting them.

    The other thing is if you teach your daughter specifically about her heritage, then she will have more to say to a child like this. She may be able to teach other kdis, in turn.

    Being proud of yourself, and learning how to stand up for yourself, can teach others. I would bet anything that the boy who said this is being bullied somewhere else, at home, or in the neighborhood.

    That doesn't make it right, but if your daughter can show how someone can stand up firmly, he'll learn he can't say those things to her.

    Or, you can also teach her what I taught my daughter, who's a little on the quiet side...when the bully, or teaser keeps going, just respond by saying, "So?"

    There's not much to say after someone just keeps responding with "So" every single time.

    Best of luck!
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
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    That's awful, poor you and poor her. However, you may be able to comfort yourself slightly that if it wasn't that, it'd be something else the stupid bully was picking on. Anything at all can be fodder for bullies - freckles, hair colour, height, accent, being too clever etc. etc.

    Dealing with bullying is *hard* but it's a great skill to learn 'cos there are still the odd bully around when we grow up. I was bullied as a kid (not for my race) and I learnt to walk away or stand up for myself as appropriate. As an adult I don't tolerate put downs etc. as I know how to stand up for myself (without necessarily creating a great big scene).

    God bless your family and I do hope that you can find good ways of dealing with this problem.