Obesity and being beautiful. Same thing or not?

nnylee
nnylee Posts: 811 Member
edited October 7 in Chit-Chat
Ok, I've been thinking about this a lot and I have conflicting opinions on this and would like to know what MFP thinks.

I've been browsing tumblr a lot and I've seen people post pictures of beautiful but morbidly obese people, saying how they're lovely and, "It doesn't matter if you're fat, you're beautiful just the way you are!" And while I agree that everyone is beautiful, being morbidly obese is not healthy.

So do you promote being beautiful in your own skin or do you promote losing weight to be healthy? I don't know! I'm so confused. What do you guys think?
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Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I honestly think that self-esteem is necessary in order to better onesself. Obviously, obesity is unhealthy (and uncomfortable!), but until a person accepts him or herself where he or she is, that person cannot make positive changes.

    Basically, accept that you're a good and deserving person no matter your size and then realize that you're hurting your health.

    "Beauty" is superficial, anyway. It wasn't that long ago that obesity was considered beautiful and thin and athletic was not.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 811 Member
    This sounds amazing. I totally get it. That's a really good way of looking at it.
    I honestly think that self-esteem is necessary in order to better onesself. Obviously, obesity is unhealthy (and uncomfortable!), but until a person accepts him or herself where he or she is, that person cannot make positive changes.

    Basically, accept that you're a good and deserving person no matter your size and then realize that you're hurting your health.

    "Beauty" is superficial, anyway. It wasn't that long ago that obesity was considered beautiful and thin and athletic was not.
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    When I see those pictures on Tumblr, I roll my eyes.
    Sure it's a great thing to love yourself. But it's much better to be healthy, you shouldn't tell someone that they're perfect the way they are when the way they are will end up killing them.
    Telling them how gorgeous they are is one thing.
    As an obese person, I find that shameful.
    As that guy said.. If someone said your smoking is beautiful to me, I'd be offended. Because it's unhealthy & is an addictive habit I have.
    I kind of forgot what I was honestly saying though.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    eye roll.

    I don't agree that "everyone" is beautiful. Also, I don't think body composition is the only thing that impacts your level of beauty, imho, actions have a huge impact on whether you're beautiful.

    But c'mon.....physical attractiveness is not present in all humans. It's just a fact. Sorry.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    eye roll.

    I don't agree that "everyone" is beautiful. Also, I don't think body composition is the only thing that impacts your level of beauty, imho, actions have a huge impact on whether you're beautiful.

    But c'mon.....physical attractiveness is not present in all humans. It's just a fact. Sorry.

    Everyone is beautiful to someone.
  • eve7166
    eve7166 Posts: 218 Member
    I think everyone could be beautiful to somebody... but imo i do not believe that big is beautiful...not saying you have to be stick figure but theres nothing beautiful about being obese
  • starscapenatasha
    starscapenatasha Posts: 38
    These have always really bothered me. Someone said that it helps you get the self esteem to take care of yourself, but that's never how I've viewed it. I've always viewed it as a way to have your cake and eat it too so to speak. It always felt like a way to justify being obese, I think because often it's accompanied by some empowered statement about not needing to change. That, or "not needing to change" is the rest of the sentence. "I don't need to change BECAUSE. . . I'm beautiful the way I am, and f**k you society, for asking me to."
    I think good self esteem is important. I think not being obese is also important.
  • starscapenatasha
    starscapenatasha Posts: 38
    I've considered this myself. I think a lot of people are hurt when you say "you're beautiful on the inside" or whatever so it's evolved into embracing your body no matter what state it's in.

    But would you say "your smoking is beautiful" to a smoker?
    So true. I'm actually a smoker myself. I'm a double major bio/chemistry, so I know exactly how horrible it is for me. After I tackle weight loss, smoking is my next hurdle. But there's nothing about smoking that's beautiful (except that it can sometimes look very pretty). It's disgusting, and rips you apart from the inside out. Anything that said that would make me angry as well.
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    The concept of beauty is often tied to the perception of health. Being healthy is often tied into being in shape.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Well. My friend Mike was once talking to someone about his weight loss journey, she said "I'd rather eat whatever I want and be happy." He said, "getting diabetes isn't being happy."

    This is what I think of. Yes, it's good to love yourself, yes, some people are attracted to bigger men and women, but if you REALLY love yourself, you wouldn't want all that extra stress on your joints and your heart and the limitations on the use of your body.

    In my opinion.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    eye roll.

    I don't agree that "everyone" is beautiful. Also, I don't think body composition is the only thing that impacts your level of beauty, imho, actions have a huge impact on whether you're beautiful.

    But c'mon.....physical attractiveness is not present in all humans. It's just a fact. Sorry.

    Everyone is beautiful to someone.

    if you say so....I disagree. I think that's a snowflake comment.....and I am a realist.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    I do think everyone can be beautiful and weight is not a big factor in beauty. I think confidence, the way the person carries them self and a positive attitude extenuate and highlight a person to make them appear to be more beautiful.

    What I do when it comes to weight vs self acceptance is I realize that not everyone shares my goals, believe it or not there are people who are perfectly happy being large, I support their decision and help them be the best them they can be. This life is short and we deserve to be happy and love our selves for who we are.
    :flowerforyou:
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Ok, I've been thinking about this a lot and I have conflicting opinions on this and would like to know what MFP thinks.

    I've been browsing tumblr a lot and I've seen people post pictures of beautiful but morbidly obese people, saying how they're lovely and, "It doesn't matter if you're fat, you're beautiful just the way you are!" And while I agree that everyone is beautiful, being morbidly obese is not healthy.

    So do you promote being beautiful in your own skin or do you promote losing weight to be healthy? I don't know! I'm so confused. What do you guys think?
    I feel like its a cop out to give up trying to lose weight. I can NOT feel beautiful in this skin...not till I can drop this weight. When you feel healthy, you feel beautiful.
  • ItsJustK
    ItsJustK Posts: 159 Member
    I sure know a lot of skinny ugly people. Just saying.
  • meltygarden
    meltygarden Posts: 111 Member
    I promote minding your own business if the body doesn't personally belong to you, frankly.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Ok, I've been thinking about this a lot and I have conflicting opinions on this and would like to know what MFP thinks.

    I've been browsing tumblr a lot and I've seen people post pictures of beautiful but morbidly obese people, saying how they're lovely and, "It doesn't matter if you're fat, you're beautiful just the way you are!" And while I agree that everyone is beautiful, being morbidly obese is not healthy.

    So do you promote being beautiful in your own skin or do you promote losing weight to be healthy? I don't know! I'm so confused. What do you guys think?
    Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

    And you can find guys attracted to just about anything if you troll low enough.
    It means nothing.

    I think we all should strive for an ideal that is our personal best in everything, because that represents reaching full potential.
    Forget some absurd notion of beauty - just be YOUR best.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    When I see those pictures on Tumblr, I roll my eyes.
    Sure it's a great thing to love yourself. But it's much better to be healthy, you shouldn't tell someone that they're perfect the way they are when the way they are will end up killing them.
    Telling them how gorgeous they are is one thing.
    As an obese person, I find that shameful.
    As that guy said.. If someone said your smoking is beautiful to me, I'd be offended. Because it's unhealthy & is an addictive habit I have.
    I kind of forgot what I was honestly saying though.

    I get what you mean. I like that we should all be accepting of various attributes, and that everyone is beautiful to someone whether it's a mom, significant other, child, whatever.
    What I don't support is when people are making it okay to be unhealthy. It makes me sad. I won't judge someone for being over weight I have no right, but even at my heavies there was a show about big woman and loving their body that way, which I mean in it's simplest idea is great, love yours body/self at any point HOWEVER if you are gasping for air walking 2 yards down the hallway it's not about beauty and acceptance anymore it's about loving yourself enough to desire better for you.

    but do simply answer the question I think obesity and beauty are not one or the other. What I consider beauty has all sorts of meanings, but if someone has a nice looking face and a cold heart, they are ugly everything about them is ugly to me. Even what would be considered beautiful to most I can't look at them and say they are good looking because of how ugly their insides are.
  • thatsnumberwang
    thatsnumberwang Posts: 398 Member
    They're not mutually exclusive. You can be obese, beautiful, and unhealthy. You can be underweight, beautiful, and unhealthy. Health and beauty are related, but definitely not the same thing.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    You can be beautiful if you are too skinny or too fat,but its still not healthy
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Are you going to tell me the color red is wrong and ugly?

    Society and cultures define what is beautiful. People are social creatures that tend to make choices based on what is socially acceptable to earn them social points.

    Overweight/obese used to be a positive factor in beauty. In some areas of the world it still is. In western European/American culture, it is ugly, therefore the majority of people will consider it ugly and be miserable if they are fat because they will be penalized socially for it.

    If you were born in a part of the world where being overweight was rewarded instead of punished, chances are you would think more highly of being overweight and actually strive to be so, because it would give you social points.

    So can one be obese and beautiful? Yes absolutely because they two are not one and the same, despite what commercials, magazines, and websites tell you. Note beauty and healthy are not one and the same either. One can be gorgeous and be grotesquely ill, just like one can be fat and grotesquely ill. There are some fat people who live to be very old and other than being considered western culture eye sores, their longevity would indicate that they were rather healthy.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    @ Johnnyswife; :flowerforyou:

    That is you, I actually still felt beautiful even at 283lbs, I just didn't like not being able to move easily or clime stairs without sounding like I am having a heart attack :laugh:
    I have always loved myself no matter how big or small I was. I lost the weight cause of all the restrictions it brought (mobility, health, could not be as creative as I wanted in bed), and I adore my hubby for loving me the same too, he hasn't changed a bit :love:
  • milaxx
    milaxx Posts: 1,122 Member
    Both.I am morbidly obese, but I am also fly and beautiful and in no way ashamed of who I am. I also know what I need to do in order to be a healthier me. Hence I make it a point to eat properly and exercise. The two are not mutually exclusive. I think it's a good thing to see gorgeous plus sized people. It's good to see that you can look good at any size. It doesn't mean you are promoting being fat as fashion, for me it's showcasing the variety that exist in the real world.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I've considered this myself. I think a lot of people are hurt when you say "you're beautiful on the inside" or whatever so it's evolved into embracing your body no matter what state it's in.

    But would you say "your smoking is beautiful" to a smoker?

    I would. But I love smoking so...
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
    I think there's a lot of subjectivity involved. Back when I was genuinely happy being obese, obesity was something I found very attractive. If I liked the way someone looked, nine times out of ten they were obese.

    As I've changed my lifestyle and started focusing on my health and fitness, that's changed. I still find some obese people attractive, particularly my fiancé of course, but I also see the aesthetic value of a slightly slimmer figure. That's said, I'm still not keen on very thin, nor do I like clear, defined muscle.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    Ok, I've been thinking about this a lot and I have conflicting opinions on this and would like to know what MFP thinks.

    I've been browsing tumblr a lot and I've seen people post pictures of beautiful but morbidly obese people, saying how they're lovely and, "It doesn't matter if you're fat, you're beautiful just the way you are!" And while I agree that everyone is beautiful, being morbidly obese is not healthy.

    So do you promote being beautiful in your own skin or do you promote losing weight to be healthy? I don't know! I'm so confused. What do you guys think?

    Beauty and healthy are not the same thing, IMHO. You can be unhealthy, yet a beautiful person...or at the epitome of health and quite ugly.

    I would personally promote that we all can be beautiful where we are right now...AND we should seek better health and fitness. It shouldn't be one sided where we think one causes the other.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    how rude. its funny that the one person on here that is talking about how not everyone is beautiful....is not the most attractive person either lol

    Why is it rude?

    FACT: There are ugly people in this world.
    Second FACT: My statement of that fact has no effect on my appearance.
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
    Tough call. I am a size 16 (U.S. sizes) and I'm told quite often that I'm attractive/beautiful. Though I do have weight to lose and that is an unhealthy consequence to my past actions, I do take very good care of myself. I maintain all my physicals and checkups. I style my hair, clean my skin, and keep myself looking well put together and professional. I have a really sweet and outgoing personality and I think those things are what people see as 'beautiful' about me. Not necessarily that my pants tag says 16 instead of 6.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    how rude. its funny that the one person on here that is talking about how not everyone is beautiful....is not the most attractive person either lol
    I think she's beautiful. And hot.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Obesity in itself is not an attractive trait, but the measure of a person is not the tape around the waist.

    Beauty is very subjective. To some people, the way a person looks carries little to no weight. To others, a higher value is placed upon it.

    Personally, I fall into the second group. I have never liked the way fat people look, including myself. However, I don't belive myself to be an 'ugly' person - I like to think my attitude and personality are good features of myself, and looking at pictures of myself when I was younger (and slimmer) I can see, objectively as it's not ME, that I have the potential to be handsome as well.

    Those in the first group can ignore a persons physical state to a much larger degree and if I were one of them, I probably wouldn't be here now, typing this post.

    And then we have a third group that value appearance above all else. If I were one of those, I'd probably hate myself.

    Beauty is what another person can see in you.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    how rude. its funny that the one person on here that is talking about how not everyone is beautiful....is not the most attractive person either lol

    So you think Carrot top is beautiful,shes right not everyone is beautiful.I didnt see her calling anyone out...UNLIKE YOU! BTW that was a VERY ugly comment which speaks alot about your personality.
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