Obesity and being beautiful. Same thing or not?

fj211

I think you're setting yourself up for certain types of answers when you post this on a fitness/ weight loss site. If I went to a plus sized dating site and asked the same thing about beauty, the answers would be distinctly different.

I'm not so sure that healthy and thin are exclusive to making anyone beautiful. It's all in the ey of the beholder.

sunshinegirl2012

I think you can be beautiful but still be unhealthy. so no they aren't the same thing-beauty shouldn't really be dependent on how healthy you are. Do I think healthier people are more attractive? Yes. Do I think healthier people are more beautiful? No, because that's not what I define beauty as!
I wish that people would see each other as beautiful because of the fact of who they are, not what shape they are. I also think beauty and value are so closely tied together today, that to insult a person's beauty is to insult their value..which isn't ever okay in my opinion. so...my two cents... I think every person is beautiful because he/she is a person, and we can't devalue someone for how they look.

ChRiStA_1983

quote:
...probably to other people look like I should still lose another 30-40lbs....

I think I would probably qualify as "other people", and I say in NO way, shape, or form do you look like you need to lose another 30-40 lbs! You look fantastic!!!

BrendaLee

I promote loving yourself if you can, but I definitely do not promote "fat love." Being fat is a miserable life, and if we stay fat, we're going to die. There's nothing sexy about that.

becoming_a_new_me

Coming from someone who used to be morbidly obese, I can say with a difinitive fact that beauty and obesity are separate and that while a person can be beautiful, their choices are not. People that big are not really happy, no matter how much they tell you they are. If they think they are, they are lying to themselves while slowly murdering their body. I will tell someone they are beautiful but unhealthy, but then I will share my story and how I can relate.

MaximalLife

Coming from someone who used to be morbidly obese, I can say with a difinitive fact that beauty and obesity are separate and that while a person can be beautiful, their choices are not. People that big are not really happy, no matter how much they tell you they are. If they think they are, they are lying to themselves while slowly murdering their body. I will tell someone they are beautiful but unhealthy, but then I will share my story and how I can relate.

^^^^^^
THIS!

Wow, a perfect testimony.
I think of the comedian Louie Anderson. His whole set was nothing but fat jokes about himself, and we all laughed.
Remember?

Then he lost the fat, wrote a book talking about how miserable he really was and how the jokes made him feel terrible.
He did it, because he knew making a buffoon of himself would get laughs and make money.

And then poor Louie gained the weight back, then went right back to the buffoon bit, making fun of himself and telling fat jokes.
And most people forgot all about his admissions.

I never did, because I could totally relate. And I won't watch him perform, because I know how much it hurts.

tlsegar

I've seen some large women and men who are very attractive and beautiful but then they lose a lot of weight and lose alot of their beauty for some reason. I think Star Jones was absolutely beautiful when she was bigger and now looks awful. Some people just look better bigger.

You also have to seperate Health and Beauty. Being healthy does not make you beautiful.

Absolutely! I was planning to say the same thing about Star Jones. She was much prettier when she was heavier. When she lost weight, it seemed like she aged about 20 years.

I can also make a long list of women who are heavy that I think are attractive and long list of women who are thin that I think are not attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And it's not all about physical looks. I've known people who are not "conventionally" beautiful that I would consider attractive but it has more to do with how they carry themselves, their personality, their aura. I also like interesting looking people. There is beauty in being different, or odd, or interesting.

tlsegar

I promote minding your own business if the body doesn't personally belong to you, frankly.

Eh, no. because some people will rationalize being obese as ok, where they need people who know it's not ok to kick them into gear.

You don't know where people are on their journey. Your "kicking them into gear" can do more harm than good. Not everyone is a tough love kind of person.

pinkgigi

Funny that people are arguing about such an objective subject. I know I felt really ugly when I was fat, I have worked on loving myself and a big part of that is loving myself enough to look after my body with eating right and exercising. Now I feel totally gorgeous.

Having said that, my man is pretty overweight, but he is totally gorgeous to me.

GG

Cold_Steel

Defining beauty is as nonsensical as it is too have discussions about which religion is the right religion, politics or any thing else that is solely based on perspective.

It is ignorant to say that not every one is considered beautiful, it is not ignorant to say "Not every one is considered beautiful based on my standards." But to state it as a universal truth that is simply asinine simply due to circumstances and relationships with people who are deemed ugly yet their partners are sexually attracted to them and consider them beautiful.

It is subjective and all a matter of perspective. There is no way it is a universal truth if the causal relationship proves otherwise, meaning there are what you consider "ugly" people who are highly attractive to other people.

I have seen 100lb men with 400lb woman who think that their woman are walking Goddesses (or at least on the couch Goddesses).

That brings me to the next point. There is no way that as a society that we can agree on terms of what we consider beauty when it is based on perception of the individual.

For instance; I find blonde woman to be unattractive, I argue about this with my wife all the time. I think in my experience it is about 1 to 2 % of the blonde woman I see as I recognize as beautiful. I cannot even name a current actress who is blonde who I consider beautiful. I dont know, its nothing personal maybe I just find being blonde to being an unwanted genetic flaw that tells me that particular woman is not capable of survival.

The idea of beauty has changed drastically, pre modern society the notion of beauty was child bearing characteristics and fertility which meant wide hips, big butts and large breasts. I find myself falling into that category more than anything, I think its an instinctual thing to be attracted to woman with large breasts, large hips and large butts, while skinny woman just simply dont do it for me. I am not attracted to obese woman by any means but I am also not attracted to muscle cut woman or skinny either.

So in conclusion;

The statement "Not everyone is beautiful" is not a universal truth it is simply an opinion which in my opinion is a funny opinion because ...duh.. everyone is not attracted to everyone...

How do you think I got my wife, I am one fugly looking dude, my wife thinks I am sexay.

rml_16

I promote minding your own business if the body doesn't personally belong to you, frankly.

Eh, no. because some people will rationalize being obese as ok, where they need people who know it's not ok to kick them into gear.

Eh, no. Get over yourself.

SabrinaJL

I've seen some large women and men who are very attractive and beautiful but then they lose a lot of weight and lose alot of their beauty for some reason. I think Star Jones was absolutely beautiful when she was bigger and now looks awful. Some people just look better bigger.

You also have to seperate Health and Beauty. Being healthy does not make you beautiful.

Agreed. Every now and then, I see a B/A post on the success stories board where I think they actually looked better before (not that I would say that because that would be a pretty douchey move). I've seen people that looked terrible before and gorgeous after, people who were attractive before AND after and people who weren't attractive before OR after. Obesity doesn't automatically equal ugly and skinny does not automatically equal beautiful.

Do I think everyone is beautiful? No, but just because I don't find someone beautiful doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who does. Beauty is all about opinion, not facts.

NikkieLite

What a silly thing to debate about. Beauty depends on personal preference. Some people could consider an obese person beautiful and some people couldn't. You can't say that someone is most definitely not beautiful, only that they aren't beautiful to you.

If someone finds a person who is obese beautiful what do you say to that? "Oh no you are wrong, you do not really find that person aesthetically pleasing. You're mistaken about your own opinion!" Um, what?

It's not a PC thing, it's not a denial thing. Some people just have different preferences and standards.

Demwitted

Being healthy and being beautiful are not necessarily related. You can be unhealthy and beautiful or ugly and quite healthy. There are skinny and fat people in both categories.

Also, I feel like there are overweight people (perhaps not morbidly obese people) who are pretty healthy in a lot of ways.... considering that a size 10 in our society is usually classified as overweight. Not everyone who is overweight has hypertension or diabetes. Some people are just bigger people.

kristelpoole

Obesity is not physically attractive to me. That doesn't make me a bad person. I still have obese friends who I love dearly and I think they are beautiful people.

That said, if I hear one more person say that Marilyn Monroe was big but beautiful I'm going to scream. She had a 24" waist for God sake. Do you hear me? 24 INCHES!!! That's tiny. I'd give my right hand to be that smokin' hot. (Not really, but ya know what I mean...)

Anyway, my face is prettier when I'm smaller, as is the rest of me. And feeling prettier and more attractive makes me feel better about a lot of things. That's a big reason why I'm losing weight and I guess I have no problem saying that. What's the big deal? *shrug*

xoxo

flabwillbefab

how rude. its funny that the one person on here that is talking about how not everyone is beautiful....is not the most attractive person either lol

This response is ugly.

id say its not the response that is truly ugly,,think its the person itself,,, hurtfull words, coming right back at her,,sad, to see people like this on here!!!! its the first time actually i see anegative comment on here,,,, always a first time to everything they say,,,,

nnylee

Wow, I did not expect the claws to come out on here. O_O The opinions on here are very thought provoking though.

nnylee

Wow, I think I agree with this. This is such a great response.

Coming from someone who used to be morbidly obese, I can say with a difinitive fact that beauty and obesity are separate and that while a person can be beautiful, their choices are not. People that big are not really happy, no matter how much they tell you they are. If they think they are, they are lying to themselves while slowly murdering their body. I will tell someone they are beautiful but unhealthy, but then I will share my story and how I can relate.

nnylee

accidentally posted a comment twice. how to delete. hmm...

LuckyLeprechaun

LOL couldn't see this yesterday when I was @ work. Thanks for proving the point :laugh:

ChrisMarie1416452

Well, I guess I'll share...

I like to separate the person, from the obesity if that makes any sense. I like to try and look at person and see them as a beautiful person. I'll try to explain better as an example: If my son makes a wrong choice I still love him not the wrong choice he made. This is the only example I could think of that could explain my thought. I love the person and I don't agree with the wrong choice, whether that being over eating etc. Some people end up gaining weight because of medication or some kind of medical condition, which is no fault to them, but I'm talking directly about is us who have over over eaten and made wrong choices that led us to where we are at right now. I'm included, I love myself but not the wrong choices (over eating) that I have made. I still consider myself beautiful because I'm a child of God and God doesn't make ugly, only beautiful. I'm trying to love myself to the point though, where I make changes that make me even better. There's nothing beautiful about sin and to me overeating and not taking the best care of the body I was given is sin. You have to call it what it is before you can begin to deal with it really. I believe everyone on here is beautiful, however I hope that just because someone says you're beautiful doesn't mean you stay where you are at. God bless...