Beautiful Blue Team WEEK 4

That's awesome Rach. Seems we change so much to accomodate those around us that we forget who we really are sometimes. Always a good thing to check in with ourselves LOL. Sounds funny but true!

:flowerforyou: you are on top of it now Rach..I know you will feel sooo much better about life now. Isn't it funny how we lose sight of ourself by pleasing, so we think, other people. Now even the little things in life will make you smile

The past couple of days have been wonderful!!!! I stopped at Kohl's last night to pick up a new backpack and while I was there I thought why not try on a pair of jeans. I went down a pant size!!! I now fit into a 9 !!!!! I also picked up a new water bottle while I was there - pretty in pink. I have already drank one full bottle which is 32 ounces. Which is amazing because I never drink that much water. So I am all smiles today!!

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful day too!!!

Congrats on the going down a size! :drinker: How much is that water bottle? I need to get me a water bottle so I don't have to keep using the plastic ones I throw away.

It was about $7 or $8. It even has a tube in it that you can freeze to keep the water cold!!

WOOOHOOO! Go Blues!!!!

Rach ~ AWESOME! And I feel your pain with those shins. :sad:

Chrissy ~ You are looking SO GOOD in that new pic!!!

Jacqueline ~ Fantastic! Isn't that exciting?!

So, I got brave and pulled out some pre-pregnancy clothing last night. My size 16 Capris fit! They were a tad bit snug in the thighs but hey, they zipped and I could sit in them without fear of ripping them to shreds! I started this out in a size 20 and I just gave those pants to my Mom. I'm hoping to inspire her to lose weight with me by giving her my fat clothes. :laugh: For some reason, though, the regular size 16 pants I had won't go past my thighs. I think I might have bought them in the Juniors department and I definitely have a woman's body now that I've given birth. :sick:

I know what you mean about not getting pants past your thighs. I have that problem too however it is getting better.

Jess - I so admire your strength....you could give up but it seems that your seizures help push you harder to be stronger and healthier - hope the day gets better but know you inspire me!

Thank you. :blushing:

I woke up crying this morning, so it's going to be a rough day, I just need to keep my focus on why I'm losing the weight.

Here's why I'm so sad... I'll try to keep it short... My mom was my best friend. She overdosed on 6/10/04 and fought in the hospital ICU (after she realized it was a mistake) until 7/6/04 when she died. I used to be so angry with her for leaving us at such a young age but that anger has turned into just missing her so much it hurts. To understand, you have to realize she was abused sexually and mentally her ENTIRE life. She was one of the strongest women I've ever known. My dad threatened her that day, and she figured, 'either go home and he'll beat me to death, or take these pills and take my own life'. Obviously, she was wrong. She could have come to my husband and I and we would have protected her, but when you're in that much despair, it's hard to see that, I suppose.

This time of year is always rough on me. The memories come flooding back and this year will be 5 years that she's been gone. I still remember that day we found her after she had taken the pills like it was yesterday. I remember the look of panic in her face, I remember my sister thinking she was going to be ok, and my reminding her that mom was not out of the woods by any means. I remember my dad trying to go into the hospital room and it was the first time I stood up to him and told him exactly what I thought of him... ugh. Even now, tears streaming down my face as I type this.

Anyway, just wanted to share. We all have to remember our mental health is just as important as our physical health, and we need to be thankful for small victories

:flowerforyou: I sorta know what your feeling.

Year Y2K - Big thing, watch out for computers, bugs, clocks, tv's, VCR's, you name it, big ole Y2K.
That's a year that I'll never forget.

I lost 3 family members that year. My sister 10 years older than me(age 40) to cancer in 01/2000. My dad in 09/2000, and my mom was in hospital from 09/2000 and passed in hospital at 11/2000.

From Christmas in 1999, family was there. Christmas in 2000. Can't compare.
It does get better over the years, but it's hard.

I also found my dad. He had drank alcohol, meanwhile he was taking prescription medicine from doctor. One thing I found out that I cannot change what happened. I cannot say "I wish I was there to change, or help him". If it wasn't that day, he might have done it another day.

I'm sure since I was single, that I had that attitude of not caring, I ate anything I wanted, I was, I guess depressed, but held up ok. The weight just added on over the years.

Just wanted to end this with, yes our mental health plays more of an important roll.
If we don't want to do things, we won't. If we don't want to get healthier, we won't.
I just had a friend of mine. He had a 60 year old friend basically gave up mentally, and his body just followed along, he laid in bed, didn't go to the hospital, and was a matter of time, he passed.

Small victories, small goals, and small celebrations.
As the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day, and we all know we didn't gain this weight in a month.

Brighter note.
P90 Sculpt 3/4 done today, oh it feels good.. for 700 calories.
and 4 more days away from Vacation in Italy.

Peter

I ate at maintenance calories yesterday and Wednesday. Not really sure why but I don't actually care or feel bad about it. That's a huge change for me. Previously, I would have gone off the deep end and killed all of my progress in just two short weeks. My outlook on this being permanent changes versus temporary fixes has really changed my success. I have an arthritis walk fundraiser to go to tomorrow and I'm hoping I can make it with the old ladies on the 3 mile track! Those are some spunky chicks, I tell ya! :laugh:

CelloRocker ~ Thanks for coming back to us! We'll take you at any weight.

Peter ~ I cannot fathom that much loss in my life all at once. The fact that you are here, trying and dealing with everything you've been through speaks volumes to your strength. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Jess ~ It's OK, woman. We all have bad days or weeks. I always tell myself that I'm confusing my body for a day or two! :laugh: You go through so much and I know you can make it through this!

So I got home from work and all of a sudden felt extremely lonely and upset. This is the first weekend I"ll really be 'alone'. Last weekend I was unpacking so I kept busy, but I realize that because of this relationship I now have no one I can call up and go hang out with. :frown: Not to mention, most of my volkswagen buddies are in Ocean City for 'Dubs at the Beach'. *sigh* At least I went and did 30min of my legs and back routine, though my shins hurt reeeeally bad and I've been stretching my calves out like crazy. I think I'm gonna shower, get some dinner and go to bed early. :yawn:

Hang in there, and enjoy you and "you're alone" time. Before you know it, you'll have little velcro children hanging off your legs and you'll wish you could have that time again. I LOVE MY TIME. My 4 velcro kids are spreading their wings-scary, but after 20 yrs of pregnancy and dependent kids, it's sooo nice to have young adults that you're proud of and can really associate and hang out with.:smooched: :happy:

Today is my off day for wii active but planning on doing it tomorrow before we go to our birthday party. I asked my husband if he wanted a date night tonight and I think he agreed. so we will have to do that. Maybe eat at subway or something. I plan on running or something today however.

This morning was the Arthritis walk. They were able to raise over $30,000!!! The great thing about breakthroughs in medications for human arthritis is that it benefits dogs as well because they use the same medications. There were a lot of cut doggies out there! My daughter didn't fuss one bit the whole time so I was able to walk 3 miles. I did the first mile pretty slow because my Mom was with me and her knees really bother her. Listening to her whine and complain and her negative attitude showed me where I got my horrible attitude towards exercise from. I love my Mom so very much but her attitude lately has been driving me crazy. She was an only child and definitely has only child syndrome. Just today, she asked me how good it was that she did 1.5 miles no less than 5 times. Like she was insecure and needed affirmation. I finally had to tell her that yes, it was great she did 1.5 miles but the focus of the day was not on her. It was on raising money for a good cause and having a good time. It's made me realize that I don't just want to teach my daughter right and wrong but also that activity and physical exercise should be a part of our lives and eating junk should be the exception to the norm. I also want to teach her about money management, something that no one in my family seems to be good at (including my husband and his family!). Sorry for the rant. When my husband is gone, the only other person I can really rant to is my Mom so that leaves me no one to talk to about her!

Got to spend time today just me and my two boys ages 6 and 3 today. Took them to see the movie Up. It was a great movie. Had a wonderful storyline that was great for adults and of course it's Pixar/Disney so the kiddos loved it. Also took them swimming which was a blast. My 6 year old is a fish and my 3 year old is getting much better although I'm thinking we have to look at swim lessons for him again. He just hasn't gotten that swimming's a horizontal sport, not a vertical one.

I took the day off from working out today - unless you count herding kids. I had a double work out yesterday and knew today might be a day of rest (ha!). Now have the kids watching Alice in Wonderland with cocoa and am hoping they'll drift off to sleep happy and content - I know I am :smooched:

Thanks! And now evening comes, I'm home alone with my pets, and we just want to snack on crap!:grumble:

Today has been another fusterating day. I ran one mile and thought I would walk the second and then run the third. Well while walking the 2nd I had a seizure. I'm so fusterated. Then I haven't eaten the best today either. Tomorrow isn't going to be much better because we have a birthday party to go to. And I just don't know what to do. Should I take a day off tomorrow or should I try and exercise?!?!? I don't like weekends.