too embarassed......

Here's the quick and dirty - a lot of people are judging us. It's true. Some aren't, but let's be realistic, when people go out..they are assaulted by imagery and challenges to be this imaginary perfect person. Hot or Not? Red Carpet meltdowns. People can be shallow... so, here's my thought process.

Focus on why you are trying to get healthier and lose weight. If videos at home are not an option, the suggestions by lots of folks here to just walk in normal clothes is brilliant. Walking is probably the best way to get active and healthy. The goal is just to get moving!

Don't let anyone diminish how you feel, but don't let how you feel keep you from doing what you want. Being here is a good start, finding a local group to meet up with is another option. Social Media allows us to connect in ways we never could before. You are not alone...remember that!

Don't worry about what other people think. You are doing this for you, not them. I see plenty of overweight people at the gym and I think good for them, they are trying to do something about it. You don't have to wear spandex or anything tight and revealing. Get yourself some comfortable sweats or shorts and a baggy t-shirt and get at it.

If others have a problem with it that is their problem.

i am also this way. i'm pretty sure when i went walking by myself the first time i was laughed at by these highschool kids that were hanging out around the track. soon as i started to pass them they got all whispery and when i passed them they started laughing. but you knwo what. i dont even care cuz when i lose this weight and start looking like them when im 30 something ill be the one laughing. Do it for you. just keep in your mind that when all this is said and done you will be the one looking GREAT!!

Don't be embarrassed! I'm a gym junkie, and I love to see people making that first step by joining the gym. NOBODY is laughing at you, we are all there for the same reason! If you can afford a trainer (even if it is a one-time thing), you should get one. They can show you how to use the equipment so you don't injure yourself. If everyone waited until they got "into shape" before they join a gym, well, think about it...

I hope you consider going! Best Wishes!

I am a trained athlete. I have worked out with various sports since I was 10 years old. I had a surgery last year and gained forty-five pounds, and I'm still working it off. Do you know what I see when someone is larger and working out? Inspiration. It's never easy for anyone, even those in shape, to stay motivated. I admire what you're doing, and I hope you keep it up. I have more respect for people (myself included) who are larger and work out in baggy clothes (mine don't even match), get red in the face, and sweaty with their hair plastered to them than I do for the 22 year old gym bunny who is completely in spandex. It's easy to flaunt the results, it's harder to hold your head up while you work to get there. Even if you don't feel comfortable, you have a right to workout anywhere you want. I applaud you and I hope you know that I believe you can do this, even if we've never met. Good luck and happy sweating!

You might want to try work out videos. I find that they are a great way to get a work out and you don't have an excuse not to work out because they are right there! Some ones that have helped me lose 45 pounds and keep it off are Erin O'Brien videos, Biggest Loser (great for people just starting out) and for advanced workouts Jackie Warner. I'm hooked! Good luck!

Who cares if they look at you...the key is getting in shape and being healthy..in a few months they will will looking at you and saying she is HOT...good luck

this is awesome and oooo so true!!!
A Prescription for Procrastinators

“My life is too busy, so I don’t have time to work out.” “I need to lose weight before I can start exercising.” “I don’t exercise because I’m afraid I’ll look foolish at the gym.” Do any of these excuses for not exercising sound familiar? When you get past the
different excuses, they really all come down to the same thing: procrastination. Everyone procrastinates to some degree, especially when it comes to sticking to a regular exercise program. So, what can you do if you want to stop procrastinating and make exercise a healthy habit? Writer Julie Anne Eason, who specializes in health and fitness topics, gives suggestions drawing from the work of Linda Sapadin, PhD, a psychologist and the author of It’s About Time! The Six Styles of Procrastination and How to Overcome Them (Penguin Books 1996). Below are explanations of four of the most common styles Sapadin identifies and tips for dealing with them.

The Worrier
The worrier is the king of “what if”: “What if people laugh at me?” “What if I drop the
weights?” Worriers are very concerned with what other people think of them. They tend
to spend hours agonizing over which clothes make them look fat, and they’ll avoid the
beach or the gym because they don’t want to be seen in a bathing suit or shorts.
Worrier Tips: Try to identify what’s behind your fear of failure. Then, when the “what
ifs” creep in, ask yourself to take your worry to its logical conclusion. For example, the
response to the question “What happens if I drop the weights?” might be, “I will pick
them up again and laugh it off.” By forcing yourself to answer these kinds of questions,
you will likely realize that your fear is not that big a deal.

The Dreamer
Dreamers love to plan and fantasize about getting in shape and losing weight.
Unfortunately, their dreams are only vague ideas with little or no follow-through. They
need to learn how to set specific goals, using concrete numbers and dates. Dreamers
tend to have short attention spans and are easily distracted.
Dreamer Tips: Try hiring a personal trainer to keep you on track, and design an exercise
plan that focuses attention on the daily steps you must take to reach your specific goal.

The Perfectionist
Perfectionists want all the circumstances to be perfect before they begin any fitness
program. They need the right shoes, the right gym, the right trainer and the right time
of day. Deep down, they know the world is not perfect. The stars will never align to
provide the perfect environment, so they’ll never have to take any real or personal
responsibility for achieving their goals.
Perfectionist Tips: Do your best to avoid “all-or-nothing” thinking regarding exercise.
Don’t tell yourself, “I must do 30 minutes of cardio every day.” Instead, say, “I may
choose to do my cardio workout in a 30-minute session, or I can break it up into three
10-minute segments throughout the day.” Brainstorm several exercise alternatives to
choose from, so if one choice won’t work for you one day, you have another option to
fall back on.

The Overdoer
Overdoers genuinely try to be all things to all people. As a result, they tend to put their
own needs last, including their exercise time.
Overdoer Tips: Create a contingency fitness plan for yourself. If you can’t get to your
scheduled exercise at the gym, plan to exercise along with videos at home whenever
you get overextended, so you don’t miss your daily workout.

IDEA Fitness Journal, Volume 3, Number 4
April 2006
© 2006 by IDEA Health & Fitness Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction without
permission is strictly prohibited.

I am so sorry you feel that way. Going to a regular gym and seeing all those fit people can be intimidating. I would suggest trying out curves. I go there 5 x a week and its a great communtiy of women trying to lose weight. You see women of all shapes, ages and different levels of fitness. My curves has helped me lose 10lbs in the last 4 months. I know I could have lost more but that is how I want to lose. They are so supportive and give you the tools and advice to help lose weight plus they do a weigh in every month to keep you on track.

Go to Walmart and buy a Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds video - $10, they have a bunch to choose from. You can do them in your living room, and if you're keeping pace and doing the arm movements, it's quite a workout if you're just starting out.

Sweetie when I joined the gym I was just starting out and weighed well over 300 pounds. I knew there would be people who are immature enough not to be able to mind their business but then thats everywhere you go from the market to the gym and my thoughts on this is WHO CARES?!?! I thought to myself... They don't live my life, they don't know my struggles and I know I damn sure don't depend on them for my happiness so why give them the power to make me unhappy?!?! So I didn't and I won't ever this is my life, my journey. If I fail and have to start over then that's on me. If I choose to go to the gym and work my *kitten* off again that's on me! I don't need anyones approval and neither do you! Imagine how a 300+ pound woman looked in her excercise gear getting her zumba on... well that was me! And you know what? Surprisingly for every one person that stared or giggled 10 more encouraged. I lost more than 60 pounds. Due to some very odd life altering changes I got off track and gained weight. And yet here I am again and I start the gym again next week. The same Gym mind you and I am sure that the same people that were there before are there still and I know when they look at me they will know I back tracked but I also know that I am there because I am back on track. So don't let anyone take away from your self esteem or your focus on your journey to a healthier happier you! Keep your head up a smile on your face and determination on your mind! Love yourself enough to move forward and NEVER give anyone the ability to make you unhappy, NO one deserves that power!

I understand how you feel because I used to feel the same way myself. Thing is, none of it really even matters. What's the WORST possible thing that could happen? A group of young teenagers laugh at you? Call you names? It's all just words. If you keep up with your exercising and eating right, you will be the one with the last laugh....so who cares. Your current body is just temporary. You are on your way to a healthier you.....who cares what they think? By the end of next year you will be a beauty in those workout clothes! Just keep reminding yourself these things.

.....but honestly, most people are too busy with their own lives to really even notice you or what your doing. Get out there and move girl!

I felt that way before as well, but as so many others have said, everyone is there for the same reason and we all had to make that decision to start. I was always afraid that I'd use a machine wrong, or look silly using a light weight. But I realize now that nobody cares... we tend to be more sensitive and think people are watching or judging but really...we are the worst judges of ourselves and beat ourselves up too much.
I think you should try the gym. So many of them have deals where you get a free personal training session or a 1:1 with an employee to set you up with the machines and goals. Take advantage of it and you'll feel more confident going. Also, I know we have (and I teach one of them) starter classes at the YMCA. They are geared for people who have never taken the class before or are starting out on their journey. If taught correctly, the instructor should give tons of pointers to ensure that the class knows proper form, technique etc....AND to keep them interested and feeling welcome. Honestly, I teach 2 nights a week and one of the classes is a starter class and it's my favorite. I love getting people excited to cycle and work out. And I remember being the new person nervous and scared to take the class so I can relate.

But, that said...if you want to start at home first, check out this workout: http://www.self.com/fitness/workouts/2006/10/work-out-while-watching-tv-slideshow#slide=1 It has easy moves with no special equipment required.

Stay positive and good luck!!

I think it's a touch situation to be in, not only for you, but also for those around you at the gym.

As an example, the other night I was at the gym with my wife. I've been going there now for a bit under a year, and have lost a fair amount of weight. I feel much more comfortable in my workout clothes, running on the treadmill, etc. I feel more like a member, if that makes any sense.

However, while I was on the stationary bike, someone came in with her friend and hopped on the two bikes next to me. Her friend was skinny and in shape. However, the other girl was much larger, very overweight and out of shape. However, my initial reaction was not "Wow, why are you here? Aren't you embarrassed?" Rather, it was "Wow! I'm so excited to see you here, and I'm so glad that you've decided to take the first step to becoming healthy. Congratulations! I look forward to seeing you come again!"

Unfortunately, I could not go up to her and tell her how excited I was for her to be at the gym. It would be an extremely awkward situation, and it indirectly would tell her that I noticed she was larger and overweight. It was not something that would have been acceptable to do, even though it was with the best of intentions, and that I was incredibly excited to see her there, because I had been in that situation before and know what it was like.

So, in her situation, she had to rely on the comfort of her friend that she was with. That meant that she had to withstand any looks / stares, and hope that she didn't become too self conscious. It was hard, because I was excited for her, but it was not my place to say so. So to the original poster, if you go to the gym and feel self conscious, know that most people there don't even hardly pay attention to anybody else in the gym, and if they do notice you, they're probably super excited that you're taking the first steps to a healthier life!

Tons of people have already responded with some really encouraging stuff, but I felt the need to chime in, too. Because I also know how you're feeling. I still sometimes feel self-conscious walking my neighbourhood in jeans (and I'm only a size 12 these days!) when an obviously avid runner in Lycra passes me. But if I don't do the damn thing, I'll just be sitting at home on the sofa feeling sorry for and bad about myself-- and as a person who has done her fair share of both, I can tell you that risking a little embarrassment is the better option every time. EVERY time.

I find it helps to quash the negative/embarrassed thoughts with little pats on the back for getting myself up and out, for making an effort to change, for following through on all of the hundreds of times I've said I want to lose weight, be healthier, make better choices. Being there, no matter how many runners in Lycra pass by, is the better, healthier choice. It also helps to listen to very peppy, energizing songs like "M79" by Vampire Weekend, "Power" and "Stronger" [radio-edit] by Kanye West, and Colin Hay's "Beautiful World" for a cool-down. Music, for me, is key!

And I also see people like you out for walks or at the gym (who really are just people like I used to be) and I think, "Yeah! Get it, girl! You can do it!" It makes me smile in solidarity. So for every insecure moron who has to cut you down to make him/herself feel worthy, there is someone else like me (and many of these other posters), canceling them out by silently encouraging you and cheering you on. Think more often of us.

I'm currently working on "re-losing" some weight, trying to focus on how great I felt a year ago instead of on the failure of putting some of it back on. It is a constant psychological battle, but it's one you CAN win. And I can't even accurately describe for you the enormous freedom and accomplishment that come with taking a whip to the embarrassment, discouragement, and any other psychological road block to your health. Keep telling yourself it's worth it, and I promise you will find that it is.