I <3 MFP but really, is this nastiness necessary?

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  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    50495_185244810488_1985533_n.jpg

    am I in the right thread?

    Yes, yes you are.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    this is why i love the new "ignore" feature. i know of several ppl on here who i cannot STAND, due to personality conflict. i'm sure that, to ppl who don't clash with them, they are perfectly nice individuals. that doesn't mean i have to like them. and now, i don't have to even see them on here.

    basically though, don't be a d!ck. ignore the ppl you don't like and this site gets a LOT cooler. and it was pretty up on that scale anyway.

    This is the most important thing that will be said in this thread, most likely.

    Don't like someone? Put them on ignore. You don't even need a good reason. Just set them to ignore and you never have to hear from them again.

    OR you can start threads when someone is saying something you don't think they should, like you're their mother. Basically exacerbating the problem. Nobody likes to be told how they should behave by a stranger.

    So why not just put people you don't like on ignore as opposed to starting threads calling them out to increase the drama? Hmm?

    Lay down and just let me pet you, love.

    Can I get in on the petting?
  • ashquin
    ashquin Posts: 248 Member
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    i agree also. i belong to a network site for parenting.... and WOW!! some of the people are insanely nasty. i find this site to be a breath of fresh air. (i obviously have not gotten myself caught up in any drama either)
    Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
    Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.
  • Suziq2you
    Suziq2you Posts: 396 Member
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    Oh, the irony.........
  • 3ur3ka
    3ur3ka Posts: 230
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    I hate everyone. Hopefully the zombie apocalypse will come soon so I can start shooting.


    Ditto!


    This made me really lol ^_^
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
    Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.
    I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

    Seriously. Even BabyCenter has more hostility than here.

    Yeah, BabyCenter was bad.
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
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    Amen. Beautifully written. I don't think I could say it better myself.

    Ditto!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,641 Member
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    You can be honest AND funny without being mean. As someone who has a lot of experience being bullied, has worked extremely hard to get healthy physically and emotionally, and feels a very real responsibility to set a good example, I can't really NOT make my own stance known.
    But doesn't perspective mean anything here too? A few weeks ago I refuted a female about lifting lighter weights and higher reps to lose fat (her opinion was that that was the best way). I did it tactfully and without being malicious at all. A few minutes later she pm'd me saying why I was so mean to her. WTF? I explained it nicely and even backed it up with clinical study evidence and she continued to harp on that I embarrassed her by telling her that she was misinformed. Goes to show that some people may take things out of context and perceive them as being mean or bullying.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Well, when a bunch of fat people don't get their cookies and sweets they tend to become nasty. Just personal experience

    :tongue:

    I didn't bother to read all this. Fat people can eat more than cookies and sweets. This people can not eat cookies.
    EVER!!
    OP should know better, than to eat cookies!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    You are absolutely right - I can't control what others do.
    I wouldn't want to even if I could because, in all honesty, sometimes I make bad choices and what if I made the wrong one and everyone had to follow it anyway?

    My point was not to call anyone out. My point was simply to make a suggestion that we treat each other a little more tactfully. You can be honest AND funny without being mean. As someone who has a lot of experience being bullied, has worked extremely hard to get healthy physically and emotionally, and feels a very real responsibility to set a good example, I can't really NOT make my own stance known.

    What you do with it is up to you but, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."

    You're not standing up against evil. You're telling complete strangers how they should behave. It's a bit of a waste of energy when you could just as easily ignore the things they're saying.
    If I were to individually sending messages to every person who posted something negative, that would be true - I would be telling them how to behave; however, I specifically said "why not?" when I made suggestions about behaviors, and I also said that I CHOOSE to behave in a certain way. I choose to lead by example. If I keep silent about something that is harmful, I am basically saying that it is okay. If I make my own stance known and back it up by not degrading others or calling names, that is, in fact, standing up.

    As a parent, I don't want my child to think it's okay to call others names. I want him to know that, when someone behaves in a manner that you disagree with, you can state your opinion in a respectful manner, offer constructive criticism, and set an example by not perpetuating the behavior you disagreed with initially.

    I have a responsibility to model that in every facet of my own life as well.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    You can be honest AND funny without being mean. As someone who has a lot of experience being bullied, has worked extremely hard to get healthy physically and emotionally, and feels a very real responsibility to set a good example, I can't really NOT make my own stance known.
    But doesn't perspective mean anything here too? A few weeks ago I refuted a female about lifting lighter weights and higher reps to lose fat (her opinion was that that was the best way). I did it tactfully and without being malicious at all. A few minutes later she pm'd me saying why I was so mean to her. WTF? I explained it nicely and even backed it up with clinical study evidence and she continued to harp on that I embarrassed her by telling her that she was misinformed. Goes to show that some people may take things out of context and perceive them as being mean or bullying.

    This is true, also.
  • iuangina
    iuangina Posts: 691 Member
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    Cookies...nom nom nom
  • CastleMadeOfSand
    CastleMadeOfSand Posts: 432 Member
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    Y'know I was bullied as a kid too. I toughened up and smartened up. Some people here may be overly pithy, and others at times a little mean. However as many comments like that that I see, there are almost as many who posts faux comments or posts just to try and incite nastiness from other people. Don't hate the game when you play it better than anyone.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    You can be honest AND funny without being mean. As someone who has a lot of experience being bullied, has worked extremely hard to get healthy physically and emotionally, and feels a very real responsibility to set a good example, I can't really NOT make my own stance known.
    But doesn't perspective mean anything here too? A few weeks ago I refuted a female about lifting lighter weights and higher reps to lose fat (her opinion was that that was the best way). I did it tactfully and without being malicious at all. A few minutes later she pm'd me saying why I was so mean to her. WTF? I explained it nicely and even backed it up with clinical study evidence and she continued to harp on that I embarrassed her by telling her that she was misinformed. Goes to show that some people may take things out of context and perceive them as being mean or bullying.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    You are absolutely right - you can't control how other people react.
    All you can do is what you DID do - provide constructive feedback and back it up.
    That's quite a bit different than saying that someone is stupid (which I don't think you've done).
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    If I were to individually sending messages to every person who posted something negative, that would be true - I would be telling them how to behave; however, I specifically said "why not?" when I made suggestions about behaviors, and I also said that I CHOOSE to behave in a certain way. I choose to lead by example. If I keep silent about something that is harmful, I am basically saying that it is okay. If I make my own stance known and back it up by not degrading others or calling names, that is, in fact, standing up.

    As a parent, I don't want my child to think it's okay to call others names. I want him to know that, when someone behaves in a manner that you disagree with, you can state your opinion in a respectful manner, offer constructive criticism, and set an example by not perpetuating the behavior you disagreed with initially.

    I have a responsibility to model that in every facet of my own life as well.

    If you're going to be starting a new thread everytime you don't like something I'm even more happy for the ignore feature than I previously thought.

    Best of luck to you on changing the internet.
  • coyoteo
    coyoteo Posts: 532 Member
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    I hate everyone. Hopefully the zombie apocalypse will come soon so I can start shooting.
    Amen.
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    WAIT A MINUTE!!!! you cant shoot.... They will hear you and they all come rushing in to EAT YOU!!

    Bows and Arrows is the way to go:happy:
    I hate everyone. Hopefully the zombie apocalypse will come soon so I can start shooting.

    remember: douple tap to the head
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
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    This forum is so tame that I can't believe people get butthurt about the minor digs and jabs posted here. People are ruder to me in line at the Post Office than they are on MFP. The mods here are so quick to crush anything that is remotely racy or sexist or off-color (aka, "fun") that this forum is drier than a popcorn fart.

    If you are so insecure about something posted on here that may possibly kinda maybe be poking a little fun at you, I strongly recommend you avoid the rest of the internets. It is not a very nice place out there.


    ///link to lemonparty.org
    //goatse image
    /pic of Eric Estrada deriding your sexual orientation


    \m/
  • SDkitty
    SDkitty Posts: 446 Member
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    I think no matter where you roam in the interwebz you are going to find mean people, nastiness, people you don't like, people who can't stand your opinions...just like real life.

    The big difference here is that we aren't talking about which classic car is better or who the best villian is in a book. We are talking about people's weight, fitness and eating habits. Things that people are VERY sensitive about. So the 'bullying' seems that much worse to those involved because it actually hurts feelings. :ohwell: It's not going to change though. Gotta brush your shoulders off or stay away from the forums.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    This forum is so tame that I can't believe people get butthurt about the minor digs and jabs posted here. People are ruder to me in line at the Post Office than they are on MFP. The mods here are so quick to crush anything that is remotely racy or sexist or off-color (aka, "fun") that this forum is drier than a popcorn fart.

    If you are so insecure about something posted on here that may possibly kinda maybe be poking a little fun at you, I strongly recommend you avoid the rest of the internets. It is not a very nice place out there.


    ///link to lemonparty.org
    //goatse image
    /pic of Eric Estrada deriding your sexual orientation


    \m/

    lmfao @ Eric Estrada

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