Question for the ladies (or gentlemen)

InvictusPheonix
InvictusPheonix Posts: 129 Member
edited November 7 in Chit-Chat
Ladies, I need some input.

I usually get about 50/50 male/female ratio for friend requests. I generally accept them all.

Buuuut, the first "red flag" I feel, I usually unfriend.

Here's my dilemma. I don't like private messages. When I've added a new male friend, and the first thing I get is a message asking for my real name/ other personal info/ just literally the word "hi", I get a little creeped out. (This has never happened with a new female friend-but happens with guys about once a week)

I can't help it, it's that feeling in the pit of my stomach (like, did I just walk into a college bar?)
Am I being paranoid/judgmental? Or should I keep "sticking with my gut"?
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Replies

  • littlelua
    littlelua Posts: 4
    Stick with your gut.
  • grimmaster1983
    grimmaster1983 Posts: 89
    Stick with your gut.

    4 words answered this perfect :D
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Stick with your gut.

    Agree 100%
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    You are absolutely right!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    I agree with everyone else, that's just way too personal too fast honestly.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Your comfort is what matters most. It's your profile and you manage it however you see fit.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    uh yea thats creepy.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Saying "Hi" I wouldn`t worry about if that is all it amounts to but trying to find out personal info is a no go.
  • wwww1199
    wwww1199 Posts: 228 Member
    Definitely stick with your gut. Creepers!
  • imaprncs
    imaprncs Posts: 77 Member
    which is why I only friend femals
  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
    Your comfort is what matters most. It's your profile and you manage it however you see fit.

    Yeah, some are just being friendly. Others are being creepy. You'll know which is which. Don't be afraid to just cut 'em.
  • sms1986
    sms1986 Posts: 113 Member
    Your comfort is what matters most. It's your profile and you manage it however you see fit.

    I agree with this.
  • candykay0605
    candykay0605 Posts: 1,019 Member
    def. Stick with your gut!!!
  • aeboone24
    aeboone24 Posts: 24
    you know what is right. keep up the good work n keepjerks far away/ my stomach knoted with your words. i would block them if there is a way.
  • katinka13
    katinka13 Posts: 41
    never happened to me, but i only have one male mfp friend who's a great and supportive guy. personally i wouldn't accept all that many people as friends. simple.
  • Donners185
    Donners185 Posts: 329 Member
    I've had to delete a few. Usually i just say straight up 'Im here to lose weight not pick somebody up. If thats ok with you then we can be friends'. if they persist after that i just delete. Like you say, your gut reaction is usually right.
  • pascale485
    pascale485 Posts: 173 Member
    Better safe than sorry with Internet!
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    Stick with your gut
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Blimey, I don't think any chaps have ever PM'd me. I feel rejected. :-P
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Is the issue the creepyness, or the private messages?
    we can just try it out in the open and see if that changes it for you.

    Hi, would you like to be my friend? What is your real name. I'm Bill, but I also go my Lucifer and Lord of the utratarians. I enjoy long walks down dark alleys and sitting in the park, people watching from afar. Would you like to come down to my work out pit I have dug in my basement? I'd really like to get to know you better. What brand of shampoo do you wear?
    Please include several samples of your hair, with follicles attached please and mail them to.

    Oh, I see why you would need to send this pm. . don't want to get too give my address out over the internet! Someone with ill intent might pick up on it and, well stuff me in a pit in their basement!
  • mochalovies
    mochalovies Posts: 192 Member
    absolutely, stick to your gut.

    You are not crazy -- I hate when I get a message from someone that thinks this website is match.com. Nothing like a delete button to fix it. People that just want to 'hang' out and 'lose weight together' will do it without knowing personal details about you. When I am not sure about a person I'll check their profile -- they speak for themselves -- it is pretty clear who is here for the wrong reasons.
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
    daaammmnnn...what gut? :laugh: you don't have a gut!

    uh, but yeah - it's a free country where you can follow your own instincts.
  • erxkeel
    erxkeel Posts: 553 Member
    Seriously??? Someone saying Hi is a creeper??

    Someone needs to get over themselves.
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    If they cross the line then you definitely should delete them

    But not all guys are here for that....I barely have any male friends and I maybe only privat message 3-4 of the girls

    Maybe you just had a bad run of luck with them, or the fact that you generally accept all friend requests
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    What about a perfect Joey "How you doin" lol

    I'm a guy and I don't even like to toss my personal info around to people I don't really know. I agree with the earlier response.

    Stick with you gut (or washboard abs)

    JM
  • csegear71
    csegear71 Posts: 14
    ALWAYS trust your gut! Intuition never fails you!
  • mochalovies
    mochalovies Posts: 192 Member
    I'd really like to get to know you better. What brand of shampoo do you wear?

    OH? soo... asking that question is... *cough*inappropriate?

    dang now I know why I never make friends
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    Seriously??? Someone saying Hi is a creeper??

    Someone needs to get over themselves.

    I guess Im a creeper to a lot of people....at the mall...at the gym...hell even when I order food since I say Hi to them!
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    I agree that they are definitely treating the website like a dating website not what it is.
    maybe you could change your profile put you are married or something. I feel a bit sad I never got a PM from any guy, but that could be to do with my profile !!!! :)
  • erxkeel
    erxkeel Posts: 553 Member
    ^^ I know right, discontinue being nice and polite. get back in your hole mister.
This discussion has been closed.

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