Help motivating husband!

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  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I understand I can't do it for him. I'm not really trying to, just trying to be encouraging. On another note, what am I supposed to do if he's talking to me about it. Just ignore it? I don't want to be a nag like so many of you think I am! Just today at lunch when I talked to him, he was telling me how horrible he felt, that his pants were too tight and he was thinking about buying some more. I know he needs to do this on his own terms, but how would you suggest responding to him when he's complaining to me? He mentioned going to the gym since he still has a little time left on his year membership and I reminded him of the Bow Flex at home. But I don't want to push him. Now I'm cofused! LOL
    If there's a 'gentle' way to remind him that you're constantly inviting him to join you in working out, maybe that's the time to bring it up (I can understand that it can be a sensitive issue). I think people are mostly suggesting that HE might see it as nagging because he's not ready to join you yet. Maybe if you ask him to go along with the healthier foods simply to support your efforts, maybe it would help get him on board???
    I can related to the complaining and inaction though...my husband isn't happy some weight he put on either. He doesn't shop, so I kept buying him new jeans in his "usual" size that wouldn't fit, and he'd get frustrated, so last weekend I got him two pairs in the next size up and brought them home. He was like "hey....these are 33's, not 32's". So I said "well honey, your old jeans are wearing out and and every time I get 32's, I end up having to take them back, and you need something you can actually wear right now". Well, he's wearing them, but I think that lit a fire under his butt!!
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    I understand I can't do it for him. I'm not really trying to, just trying to be encouraging. On another note, what am I supposed to do if he's talking to me about it. Just ignore it? I don't want to be a nag like so many of you think I am! Just today at lunch when I talked to him, he was telling me how horrible he felt, that his pants were too tight and he was thinking about buying some more. I know he needs to do this on his own terms, but how would you suggest responding to him when he's complaining to me? He mentioned going to the gym since he still has a little time left on his year membership and I reminded him of the Bow Flex at home. But I don't want to push him. Now I'm cofused! LOL

    If he asks you questions, answer them. But telling you he needs to buy the next size up in pants is not asking you a question. Hopefully the fact that his pants are getting tight will be some motivation to get rolling. That was one of my motivations....enough was enough with moving up in pants size. Perhaps you could suggest that he try to eat a little better and try some exercise to see if his current pants start fitting him better. If that doesn't work, avoid nagging.

    now, as far as the gym membership vs. the bowflex...I'd say if he still has time on his gym membership and has expressed a desire to use it...then ENCOURAGE that. In June 2011, I started assembling a home gym. The first thing I purchased was a Bowflex...a pretty nice one....from Craigs List for about 20% of what it cost new (and it was in like new condition). I was pretty gung ho about putting together different Bowflex routines and I enjoyed using my Bowflex at first. BUT, I soon realized that Bowflex weight was different than real weight, and that the Bowflex has limitations for what I wanted to do. soooo...I added a flat/incline/decline (FID) bench and some adjustable dumbbells. I haven't used the Bowflex in 3-4 months. I use the dumbbells and do sprint interval training outside my house. In short, the Bowflex is okay...but I now know why a fair number of them can be found on Craig's List.

    Encourage your husband to use the gym...and, if he starts using it and wants to renew the membership, I would encourage that as well (assuming you have the funds). However, if he wants to renew the gym membership, I would then approach him with "I'm glad that you are enjoying the gym and I have no problem with you renewing your membership. However, I noticed that you haven't used your Bowflex. Its okay if you've grown tired of it, but if so, perhaps we can sell it on Craig's List."
  • littletiger97
    littletiger97 Posts: 49 Member
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    - "Its okay if you've grown tired of it, but if so, perhaps we can sell it on Craig's List." -

    Love that quote! LOL Yeah, we've talked about it tonight and he is officially going to weigh in the morning just to know where he stands. He seems pretty sincere about going to the gym starting tomorrow since it's his day off and seems to want to try getting back into the routine of 3 times a week! So we will see how it goes. I even told him that if we need to buy "special" food for him that's fine and we can add it to the grocery list. I promised him I won't say another word about it. So it's all up to him now! Thanks guys for your help and support!
  • msh0530
    msh0530 Posts: 1,675 Member
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    This is very different than what everyone else has said, and addresses really only one thing that you said: his snoring, and his wanting to lay on the couch a lot. He may have undiagnosed sleep apnea. I say this because it happened to me. When you have sleep apnea, although you think you are sleeping, and appear to be asleep, you may be waking up several times PER MINUTE. This causes your body to be in a constant state of sleep deprivation and makes you very tired, and even though you want to exercise and know you are gaining weight, you are really powerless to do much about it due to exhaustion. Check with your dr., who may order a sleep study. I am sure that mine saved my life.
    http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/sleepapnea/

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