Help motivating husband!

Just keep doing your own thing.

He's going to have to do it when he is ready. Bugging him will only lead to arguments and may even cause him to dig in and refuse - just because!

Be patient. Stay active. Eventually he'll want to join in. Find some interesting outdoor activities. I don't like indoor exercise either, especially electronic games.

Mine is the same way, don't worry, it gets better.

We started out with ME logging everything he ate...or told me he ate. Well that wasn't working, so I stopped doing it because he needed to be accountable himself. At the beginning of December I started logging for myself again and showed him the site, once he found out he could put an app on his phone he was really into it, and now it's like a game for him to try to keep all of his numbers within their set amounts. He has lost nearly 10lbs since then, and has yet to exercise. I exercise and try to get him to do it with me but he's just not into it right now, he assures me that if he can just drop a little more weight he will do it because he'll be motivated, I believe him, so for now we're both doing our own thing. Your husband just has to want it for himself too, when he sees that his way isn't working, he'll come around.

I'm stil struggling with this myself, but it's very slowly getting better. Find activities he might enjoy. We've recently started roller skating after 30 years of not being on wheels. LOL We had a blast and it's a killer workout. We also walk the dogs occasionally. Sometimes he'll go bowling. He's even done Wii bowling a few times. I figure something is better than nothing and eventually he'll want to do these things on his own, I hope : )

I totally understand what all of you are saying and I know that he has to do it on his own. The thing is...I married a nerd! LOL He isn't very outdoorsy but then again neither am I. I never have been! But the thing is, he's lost tons of weight before on his own. We weren't together then but I know he can do it and so does he. I've been trying to cook healthier but he doesn't think he can lose by eating regular food. Last time he lost, he ate nothing but lean cuisines, etc and only consumed 1200 cal a day and did the Bow Flex workout. I have tried to get him to join this site and I told him that "Yes" he can lose weight eating regular food, he just has to watch his portions. We have both gained since we met. I've gained about 30 lbs and he's easily gained 60 lbs. He weighs more now than he ever has according to him, but he refuses to get on the scale! I have begged him to weigh himself so he at least knows where he stands. But he won't. I think his health is also being seriously affected. He never used to snore but since he has gained all this weight, he snores constantly and very loudly! It's a rare occurance that we can both sleep in the same bed. He either sleeps on the couch so he doesn't wake me, or I end up moving to the couch because he has. It's incredibly frustrating and I know he feels horrible about it. I guess I will just try to lead by example, which is very hard for me to do because I am struggling as well! Thanks for your support and input!

just keep cooking healthy meals and giving him reasonable portions.

as for the scale and denial...I wouldn't touch that scale when I was at/near my heaviest. However, I lived in a state of denial that I was only meaty and not fat. Near the end of 2010, I admitted to myself that I was fat and that helped me get on the journey. One day when your husband sees himself in the mirror, he will come to grips with reality and want to do something about it....or at least that's the hope.

I convinced my husband to let me create an account on MFP for him, as a way to be supportive of me. I promised him if he did not like it he could delete it and move on. For 8 days I logged everything he ate, his water, his exercise...by the afternoon of the 9th day he sat down and logged his own lunch and snack. Now, he is so intent on his logging we got him an Ipod so he can log n the go (he's a sheriff's deputy, crazy hours!). He is down 8 lbs and still going! Exercise is hit or miss on his days on duty ( although you would be surprised how many calories he burned on a call to help catch a dog killing local alpacas!), but the calorie deficit and the awareness of what he is putting in his mouth is making a difference and that has inspired him to keep going!

HA HA I hate alpacas!!

Thats the problem, all the begging and nagging you do, you are continuing to make it more of a problem for him. You cannot get him to do anything.. it will always have to be his choice and something he does on his own.

Im glad we had some men post some replies.. its good to have the male perspective validate the very thing: the more nagging and pushing and begging, you end up just making things worse for them.

OP: Just like you made the choice for yourself.... whether youre struggling or not is not the point.... your husband has to choose for himself...

good luck

give him time he will join your shortly. As he starts to see your progress he will feel more and more insecure about himself and not want to be left behind in the journey. Dont worry be patient and give him time.
My husbands like a little kid if i bug him to do it he digs his heels in and refuses but if i let him figure it out on his own he feels like a genious and is more proud of himself

men are so simple sometimes :P (JK)

Simple we are... Not surprisingly, life appears less complicated that way, until our spouses chime in and confuse the heck out of it... Lol!

teehee and here i thought i might offend someone with being honest lol :flowerforyou:

I understand I can't do it for him. I'm not really trying to, just trying to be encouraging. On another note, what am I supposed to do if he's talking to me about it. Just ignore it? I don't want to be a nag like so many of you think I am! Just today at lunch when I talked to him, he was telling me how horrible he felt, that his pants were too tight and he was thinking about buying some more. I know he needs to do this on his own terms, but how would you suggest responding to him when he's complaining to me? He mentioned going to the gym since he still has a little time left on his year membership and I reminded him of the Bow Flex at home. But I don't want to push him. Now I'm cofused! LOL

If he asks you questions, answer them. But telling you he needs to buy the next size up in pants is not asking you a question. Hopefully the fact that his pants are getting tight will be some motivation to get rolling. That was one of my motivations....enough was enough with moving up in pants size. Perhaps you could suggest that he try to eat a little better and try some exercise to see if his current pants start fitting him better. If that doesn't work, avoid nagging.

now, as far as the gym membership vs. the bowflex...I'd say if he still has time on his gym membership and has expressed a desire to use it...then ENCOURAGE that. In June 2011, I started assembling a home gym. The first thing I purchased was a Bowflex...a pretty nice one....from Craigs List for about 20% of what it cost new (and it was in like new condition). I was pretty gung ho about putting together different Bowflex routines and I enjoyed using my Bowflex at first. BUT, I soon realized that Bowflex weight was different than real weight, and that the Bowflex has limitations for what I wanted to do. soooo...I added a flat/incline/decline (FID) bench and some adjustable dumbbells. I haven't used the Bowflex in 3-4 months. I use the dumbbells and do sprint interval training outside my house. In short, the Bowflex is okay...but I now know why a fair number of them can be found on Craig's List.

Encourage your husband to use the gym...and, if he starts using it and wants to renew the membership, I would encourage that as well (assuming you have the funds). However, if he wants to renew the gym membership, I would then approach him with "I'm glad that you are enjoying the gym and I have no problem with you renewing your membership. However, I noticed that you haven't used your Bowflex. Its okay if you've grown tired of it, but if so, perhaps we can sell it on Craig's List."

This is very different than what everyone else has said, and addresses really only one thing that you said: his snoring, and his wanting to lay on the couch a lot. He may have undiagnosed sleep apnea. I say this because it happened to me. When you have sleep apnea, although you think you are sleeping, and appear to be asleep, you may be waking up several times PER MINUTE. This causes your body to be in a constant state of sleep deprivation and makes you very tired, and even though you want to exercise and know you are gaining weight, you are really powerless to do much about it due to exhaustion. Check with your dr., who may order a sleep study. I am sure that mine saved my life.
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/sleepapnea/