Boob Job and Tummy Tuck
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I really don't see your point here. He's thinking like a man hit by the trend. It doesn't mean that he's not thoughtful . Obviously we don't understand women but the opposite is also true.Simple answer. It is a trend. Like cells and tablets. Sooner or later everybody that get it contacts with them gets "infected".It will pass.
In the other hand I can tell you how I see this like a man. He wants his piece to be the best of the best. Do you really blame him for that?
Ugh. This "piece" in question is 18 and just had a baby 4mo ago.0 -
Everyone should do what makes them feel best about themselves, but I, like you, would have been very hurt and I, like you, don't plan on surgically altering my body... ever. I resonate with you 100%.0
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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something very different than previous posters. Maybe he thought you would be happy to hear he has money saved up for this surgery. I had a tummy tuck at age 25 after losing 90 lbs. Twelve years later I had my first child, but it was a nice 12 years! I am sure if I had been in a relationship at that time and my partner had offered to pay for the procedure, it would have felt like stinging criticism, but with time I'd probably have grabbed the money and felt good about it! (Maybe months or years later, though).
I agree it's too soon to contemplate surgery at all. I was impatient when I had my tummy tuck--I should have waited a year after losing my weight, and maybe it would have given the pooch time to tighten up. Also, the motivation, as well as the timing, should be yours, too.
I can well understand the hurt and shock you must feel. Obviously, your partner should have picked a better time to discuss it, perhaps when you were discussing fitness goals with him. But, people (even your partner) can misspeak. He may just be happy that you are losing weight and getting fit, and wanted to lend support, albeit in a clumsy way. He's showing you he wants to spend money on you, not go out and buy a luxury car for himself. I would nurse my wounds and forgive his awkward way of bringing this up.0 -
Just let him know that if you ever did go that route it would be because you wanted to and ask him not to mention it again because right now it offends you.0
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My point is the OP is young, and given that she just gave birth, cannot expect her body to be perky and taut. But because she's young, it is quite likely that with a little time, her body will return to it's prepregnancy state (perkier boobs, flatter stomach). Exercise and eating right will certainly help that. Surgery just seems to premature and wreckless at this juncture.0
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This was a great topic and really good responses, I'm not gonna lie a few made me giggle, some made me sad and others made perfect sense. With that being said I have had a tummy tuck in 98 after losing 100 lbs and I would do it all over again, there's nothing like busting your butt to create the body you want and never being able to achieve it because of extra skin that I was responsible for stretching out. Maybe we grow as people and turn our lives to a different path of health and fitness instead of junk food and couches, when that happens we are left with the aftermath of our sedentary lifestyles, but on our bodies : ( If you have the $ and want to fix a couple things, shoot go for it. You get one life and one body do what makes you happy!0
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I think people should do whatever makes them happy and feel good about themselves.
agreed! I received a breast augmentation and am getting a lift next month and am happy I did! The shape and size of mine was something that really bothered me and who wouldn't want live happy with their body?! If I could, I'd get lipo too!0 -
Very wise answer. I bow before you.:flowerforyou:I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something very different than previous posters. Maybe he thought you would be happy to hear he has money saved up for this surgery. I had a tummy tuck at age 25 after losing 90 lbs. Twelve years later I had my first child, but it was a nice 12 years! I am sure if I had been in a relationship at that time and my partner had offered to pay for the procedure, it would have felt like stinging criticism, but with time I'd probably have grabbed the money and felt good about it! (Maybe months or years later, though).
I agree it's too soon to contemplate surgery at all. I was impatient when I had my tummy tuck--I should have waited a year after losing my weight, and maybe it would have given the pooch time to tighten up. Also, the motivation, as well as the timing, should be yours, too.
I can well understand the hurt and shock you must feel. Obviously, your partner should have picked a better time to discuss it, perhaps when you were discussing fitness goals with him. But, people (even your partner) can misspeak. He may just be happy that you are losing weight and getting fit, and wanted to lend support, albeit in a clumsy way. He's showing you he wants to spend money on you, not go out and buy a luxury car for himself. I would nurse my wounds and forgive his awkward way of bringing this up.0 -
As a flat-chested, less than an A-cup woman non-surgically enhanced, may I just say that I love you!
Have a wonderful day and be proud of your body.
And for those who have chosen to have surgery, I can understand that too because up until the past year or so, I always wanted to get bigger boobs. I think it should be the person's individual choice as to what he/she can live with.0 -
If you want to do it for YOU, and only for YOU, to be more comfortable in your own skin, and you can afford it, more power to you. I don't think there's anything wrong with it but personally, I also think it depends on the situation.
If you went in for surgery just to please him, well of course I'd discourage you. If you went in and got huge foam bags to seek attention, again, I'd discourage it. If your boobs sagged in such a way that you were uncomfortable in a tshirt and your bras pinched you, and they were incredibly disproportionate, well that's an entirely different story. But you know, sometimes the greatest gift you can give to your children is to take care of yourself and to have pride in yourself. You're not teaching them to change their body, but that they need to do whatever way feels right for them, because their body is their temple. If this feels right for you, that's perfectly fine!
But! I could also never advocate dating or marrying someone who didn't love you just the way you are. I mean, I don't know you, and maybe this was just a spastic verbal moment for him. Only you would know that.
You'll have your body forever—the husband? I'm thinking not so much. To be supportive of someone's choice for surgery is kind and loving, to encourage it is selfish... just my 2 cents. He seems like an incredibly insensitive person, but if he is in your age bracket, trust me, he's got MUCH growing up to do.
And P.S. if he's walking around with a tic-tac in his jean pocket, if you know what I mean, and isn't the male equivalent of what he expects you to be after surgery... Well my gosh. Someone who expects something of their partner they themselves can't deliver on? Red flag to me.
*small boobies and proud of it!*
P.S. If there's any chance of your having MORE children in the future (since you're still very young), I'd wait until you're all done before making surgical changes.0 -
surgery is an individual choice, and as long as it does not risk their health, I see nothing wrong with it. In a few years, I plan on having the twins lifted a bit and see nothing wrong with it. However, OP as you are only 18, I would say give your body a chance to mature just a little before you even consider it. I know that might sound condescending but truly your body is still changing and after having two kids, it needs some recovery time. Also, I assume hubby is young as well so try not to be too hard on him. Guys that age sometimes have a very skewed image of what the ideal body should be
I agree with this. I see nothing wrong with getting plastic surgery and I see nothing wrong with not getting plastic surgery but please wait until your body is done changing. You will be much happier with the result.0 -
So in passing today my partner mentioned that if he had the money he'd pay for me to get a boob job and a tummy tuck. When he saw my shocked/outraged face he THOUGHT he was saving his *kitten* by saying "Not to make your boobs bigger, but to make them not saggy anymore!" Gee.. I'm sorry I had pregnancies and I fed our two kids with them!
But that wasn't the annoying thing. Why is everyone so obsessed with surgically altering their bodies? I mean I'd love to have perky boobs and a flat-stretch-mark-free belly but my body is my own. It's earned its scars, sags and cellulite. How can I teach my children they are beautiful no matter what if I couldn't even live in my own body?
I feel like I must have gone crazy 'cause the whole world seems to think it's okay to get cosmetic surgery when all that's happened to your body is LIFE! (I can understand it completely in the instances where you've had an injury ect ect to be clear.)
You should have said," Okay honey after we take care of me theres some things we need to surgically change about you" and see what he says. lmao0 -
Sorry but the OP doesn't say anything about the surgery as a procedure, involvement and risks. She only complains about her partner's point of view. I tried to stay on that point without going sideways.
Anyways the discussion can go over and over. I drop off here.My point is the OP is young, and given that she just gave birth, cannot expect her body to be perky and taut. But because she's young, it is quite likely that with a little time, her body will return to it's prepregnancy state (perkier boobs, flatter stomach). Exercise and eating right will certainly help that. Surgery just seems to premature and wreckless at this juncture.0 -
You've got an awesome attitude, and I'm sending your partner a virtual slap!0
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I fully intend on getting a Tummy tuck and possibly a breast lift and augmentation. I see nothing wrong with trying to maintain your youth (within reason). As a young mom, I don't feel like I need to deal with these body issues if there is an alternative. I feel like my body is around 60 years old and I'm only 25. I planned on getting at least the tummy tuck by May of this year, but I may have to prolong the procedures b/c I will be taking Accutane for my adult acne (which has also been a result of having children). I adore my babies - they're my entire LIFE. Being a mother is what I definitely do best! BUT, there's nothing wrong with trying to feel young and fabulous!
If you are happy with your body and not self conscious in any way, then more power to you! That is AWESOME!0 -
I am 50 yrs old and have lost quite abit of weight and had 7 pregnacies. Also was shot in the stomach when I was a cop,and had to have extensive surgery. Yes, I'd do cosmetic surgery in a heartbeat. Not for anyone but for myself. Not to be a HOTT 50 yr old but just to be happy with myself. I've never had a good body or decent body so if cosmetic surgery helps a person accept themselves I see nothing wrong with it.
Definetly a each his own decesion. Your husband's statement in my opinion was something he said thinking you'd want to hear. I don't think it was done in a bad way at all..0 -
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Wow, your husband is a jerk. It's one thing for YOU to want to surgically"alter" yourself, but for your husband to suggest it? I'd be hurt and seething!
I don't think he quite understands why you are losing weight...maybe you should hit him over the head with some good ol' fashioned Understanding and Empathy.0 -
I have four children, one daughter who is just 13. Sometimes when people comment on how pretty she is, I say "She is smart, she is kind, she has a beautiful spirit." I don't tell her she is "Pretty" every day. In my family, we don't value "pretty girls" above" I can do it girls." That being said, if i worked hard, and lost the weight only to lose my boobs and have a skin flap that would suck...and I might want to fix it.0
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I agree..I know if I had a choice I would get a tummy tuck because of two kids and the skin rubs up against other parts of my body
As for your husband maybe it was just a bad choice of words > I know my husband has no way with words when he says something I find ugh like I will question it and give him time to correct it, He always says things meaning well but they don't sound good at all lol... But yeah that was just a tad bit overboard. 0 -
Funny up bring this up. I would love for my boobs to face the right direction again someday. My hubby always said I could use a lift. Now that I've lost 100 pounds and would do it, it bothers him. I think it bothers him I've lost the weight and now guys notice you. lol0
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:flowerforyou: Thank you for putting that in perspective. I have been debating on getting surgery to make myself feel better but I am a mother to two beautiful baby girls. What kind of message would I be sending them if I did that? I am torn because I want to be happy in my own skin since I had two c-sections but I want my girls to know that you dont have to be a pencil to be beautiful. Thank you for your lovely words of wisdom.0
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I've voiced to my husband quite a few times that I would love a tummy tuck if we were ever rich and had lots of money. Being pregnant with twins destroyed my stomach. At 36 weeks I was measuring at about 55 weeks in size...I was massive despite only a 40lb weight gain. Now 19 months later I've dropped almost 60lbs and my waist is down to 37inches and I have SO MUCH stomach skin. That said, if my husband ever suggested I needed work done, he'd never get laid again.
LMAO LOVE THE LAST LINE 0 -
Sorry I am going to go off topic alittle..........Am I the only one offended that a woman was just referred to as "a piece" ummm significant other who just had his kids......We are not objects. I would NEVER refer to my husband as an object or as "mine"0
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So in passing today my partner mentioned that if he had the money he'd pay for me to get a boob job and a tummy tuck. When he saw my shocked/outraged face he THOUGHT he was saving his *kitten* by saying "Not to make your boobs bigger, but to make them not saggy anymore!" Gee.. I'm sorry I had pregnancies and I fed our two kids with them!
But that wasn't the annoying thing. Why is everyone so obsessed with surgically altering their bodies? I mean I'd love to have perky boobs and a flat-stretch-mark-free belly but my body is my own. It's earned its scars, sags and cellulite. How can I teach my children they are beautiful no matter what if I couldn't even live in my own body?
I feel like I must have gone crazy 'cause the whole world seems to think it's okay to get cosmetic surgery when all that's happened to your body is LIFE! (I can understand it completely in the instances where you've had an injury ect ect to be clear.)
There are so many awesome things in your post here!! I love your perspective and I think you shoudl frame it just like this to your husband! i love that you see your body as changed because of the events in your life and are ok with it. I think that is just simply the most beautiful peace of mind to have!! I wish I felt the same way about my saggy boobs and flappy belly, and i haven't even had kids!! Lol... i just always look in the mirror and think "well one day i'll have to get that fixed", but I only think that because it's available to me, and it's something i want to improve. If you love the way you look right now, and it totally sounds like you do, then I'd say you should rock that!!
Good for you girl!
PS. Kick you husband in the nuts for saying those things to you!! lol (In a nice way of course!) 0 -
I understand both sides.
People opt for surgery to enhance their figures to make them feel better about themselves, give them more confidence, provide them with a new lease off life so to speak.
On the other hand, are we teaching the next generation that if they don't like how they look they can go and 'buy' a new pair of boobs?
At the end of the day, who are we to judge the reasoning someone has surgery? Would we place dental braces in the same category? Whilst it's not surgery, it's still altering your body.
I have never had surgery but at 24 I did pay a lot of money (more than the cost of a boob job) in order to have braces, and because I didn't want 'train tracks' I went with the ClearStep Program so no one can see I have braces. It boosted my confidence (only halfway though) already and it was the best decision I ever made. Who is to say that someone who has had a boob job doesn't feel the same?
Do we also include Tattoo's and piercings in this? They are also about altering your body cosmetically. I myself have both and although, I no longer have the piercings in I will have the scars forever, the same with my tattoos. How is it 'okay' to get a tattoo and 'deface' your body because you like a design bu not okay to have a boob job to enhance your confidence and make you feel like a woman?
The argument for and against can swing ion roundabouts and include so many other branches of cosmetic alterations but at the end of the day, it is your body to do what you want with.0 -
:flowerforyou: Thank you for putting that in perspective. I have been debating on getting surgery to make myself feel better but I am a mother to two beautiful baby girls. What kind of message would I be sending them if I did that? I am torn because I want to be happy in my own skin since I had two c-sections but I want my girls to know that you dont have to be a pencil to be beautiful. Thank you for your lovely words of wisdom.
I had two boys both c-sec I think that just getting skin removed isn't as bad as going in for lipo etc....Sometimes you CANNOT loose the csec pudge.0 -
If my husband suggested it, I'd be hurt, too.
That said, I did have a breast reduction. Best thing I ever did. Then had two kids. And someday, I'd love a little lift again. Will I actually do it? I don't know. But I have no regrets about my reduction. I also suffered far fewer headaches after my reduction - so it was worth it for my health, too!0 -
I love the way you express ownership for your body as it has gone through life - what a refreshing way to think 0
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Maybe something was lost in the translation from his brain to his mouth. I think its a personal choice, what ever makes you happy.0
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