Do you know someone like this...?

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  • skaboom163
    skaboom163 Posts: 93 Member
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    yes your friend is skinny and pretty but at the end of the day this girl is at constant battle with herself... she is clearly not happy. I would distance myself from that negative energy as much as possible because it's bringing you down too. If you ignore her she might stop... I think shes insecure and loves the attention of people saying "you're not fat!" Just don't say anything and change the subject and eventually she will see that she isn't going to get any attention like that from you! I'd rather be a few pounds overweight and be content with myself as a person than be insecure and a skinny little *****. Guys can check out chicks like that all day long but if they have no confidence, she's gonna be kicked to the curb.
  • AliG69
    AliG69 Posts: 12
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    Might be best not to "mind read' why someone does things. Life's hard enough for some people without being judged on top. Might as well just get on with enjoying yours eh?
  • zasiiniya
    zasiiniya Posts: 100 Member
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    My sister is 5'8" and less than 120lb, and she constantly complains about how huge her thighs are. She thinks they're way out of proportion to the rest of her body (they're not). And also, her "manly shoulders" (her phrasing), which probably only look so large because the rest of her is quite thin.

    I'm confident she doesn't have an eating disorder but she's obsessed with her thighs, haha.
  • kailysimpson
    kailysimpson Posts: 56
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    Here, try this strategy: BUTT OUT!
    Don't mess with what fit people are doing.

    If she's 120 - more power to her!
    Focus on yourself.

    She'd drive me nuts which is why I don't go around nutty people.
    Just bug off, and leave this girl be.

    You're kind of a jerk, Dude. I'm not in her business, these are the conversations she brings to ME, first of all.
    Second of all, your self righteous attitude about "what fit people are doing" only implies that my being fat gives me no right to be concerend for someone I care about just because she's thin. And, by the way, not "fit" at all. Thin does NOT equal fit. Expecially when the being thin comes from eating disorders - in fact, FYI, a 100 pound woman with a severe eating disorder is less healthy than an overweight woman. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Jerk.
  • kailysimpson
    kailysimpson Posts: 56
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    Might be best not to "mind read' why someone does things. Life's hard enough for some people without being judged on top. Might as well just get on with enjoying yours eh?

    So telling her that she's beautiful the way she is - is judgmental? I'm not allowed to have an opinion? I never said I JUDGED her, her constant "I'm fat" just drives me crazy. I think I'm allowed to say that without being accused of being judgmental.
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
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    I'm under 120 and do the same thing. I try not to do it too much around my bf and if i do we kind of joke about it. Like I will say "GAH i have been sitting on my FAT *kitten* all day long. Time to move" And we laugh. Usually I am being serious

    Thinner people are insecure too. Many think that food is the enemy. Somedays I feel like the fattest person out there. Others I walk around like a boss.

    ^ this is me. Just because your 'thin' doesnt mean your happy or think of yourself that way. I am 5'4 117-120 and I genuinely have days where I am convinced that I am very fat. I see my body differently then other people. Don't be so quick to judge somebody just because you think they look skinny.
  • kailysimpson
    kailysimpson Posts: 56
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    My sister is 5'8" and less than 120lb, and she constantly complains about how huge her thighs are. She thinks they're way out of proportion to the rest of her body (they're not). And also, her "manly shoulders" (her phrasing), which probably only look so large because the rest of her is quite thin.

    I'm confident she doesn't have an eating disorder but she's obsessed with her thighs, haha.

    Well I think that we all have areas about ourselves that we would like to improve, no one is perfect or sees themselves as perfect - and that is fine.
  • kailysimpson
    kailysimpson Posts: 56
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    I'm under 120 and do the same thing. I try not to do it too much around my bf and if i do we kind of joke about it. Like I will say "GAH i have been sitting on my FAT *kitten* all day long. Time to move" And we laugh. Usually I am being serious

    Thinner people are insecure too. Many think that food is the enemy. Somedays I feel like the fattest person out there. Others I walk around like a boss.

    ^ this is me. Just because your 'thin' doesnt mean your happy or think of yourself that way. I am 5'4 117-120 and I genuinely have days where I am convinced that I am very fat. I see my body differently then other people. Don't be so quick to judge somebody just because you think they look skinny.

    AGAIN, I am not JUDGING her. I am concerned about her, and YES her constant "I'm fat" makes me crazy. Would it not make you crazy?

    My GOD this garbage where no one can say anything because they are being "judgmental" is just ridiculous.
  • luckygirl007
    luckygirl007 Posts: 68 Member
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    I have a friend who is a "recovered anorexic" and she drives me nucking futs!!! Some people are mental, just ignore her psycho babble and try to be nice. When all else fails remind yourself that you would never be a 120lb whiny beyotch because you have MFP and wouldn't starve yourself like an idiot! She is missing out by not getting on MFP.

    bump .... well said
  • rachcamp88
    rachcamp88 Posts: 88 Member
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    If any of my thinner friends complain about being fat i just say 'I'm bigger than you so if you're fat what does that make me?' it soon shuts them up. My twin sister,she's a uk size 6 and refuses to buy anything in a size 8 (if the shop has a size 4 she wont buy a size 6 and complains she if cant fit in the 4)
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
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    Just because someone is not morbidly obese doesn't mean they can't want to be thinner or just not be happy with their body. My goal weight is 110 and being about 8-9 pounds over that makes me feel fat right now. Its not fair that I can't say "wow I need to lose weight" or "I really shouldn't eat that" without people assuming I am fishing for compliments because I don't have a ton of weight to lose, or because they are heavier so it makes them uncomfortable. But someone at 200+ pounds can ***** & moan about weight and thats okay.
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
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    If any of my thinner friends complain about being fat i just say 'I'm bigger than you so if you're fat what does that make me?' it soon shuts them up. My twin sister,she's a uk size 6 and refuses to buy anything in a size 8 (if the shop has a size 4 she wont buy a size 6 and complains she if cant fit in the 4)

    Overweight? Sorry is thats harsh but smaller people shouldn't have to cater to overweight people and their feelings. If I genuinely feel fat or like I over ate or something I'm not going to look around and make sure no one bigger then me is listening. Thats crazy.
  • rachcamp88
    rachcamp88 Posts: 88 Member
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    I think that people should 'cater for' their friends feelings, i'm not saying look around and make sure theres no-one in ear shot bigger than you.
  • kailysimpson
    kailysimpson Posts: 56
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    Just because someone is not morbidly obese doesn't mean they can't want to be thinner or just not be happy with their body. My goal weight is 110 and being about 8-9 pounds over that makes me feel fat right now. Its not fair that I can't say "wow I need to lose weight" or "I really shouldn't eat that" without people assuming I am fishing for compliments because I don't have a ton of weight to lose, or because they are heavier so it makes them uncomfortable. But someone at 200+ pounds can ***** & moan about weight and thats okay.

    You are obviously more interested in justifying and vindicating yourself than seeing what the point here was. I believe that I clearly stated, several times, that everyone has things they want to improve upon and that's okay. That is not the case here, as I said. I am not going to continue to defend my original point when I made it clear enough to begin with. No one is saying the things you are accusing people of saying here, you are creating something that is not here. Clearly.
  • jenluvsushi
    jenluvsushi Posts: 933 Member
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    I remember always thinking I looked fat....even when I weighed 132 pounds at 5'8.....Now that I am well over that amount, I'd give my left foot to look like that again. Bottom line.....people don't always see reality when they look in the mirror. Try to ignore what she says....I doubt she is saying it with the intention to hurt your feelings.
  • Audddua
    Audddua Posts: 176 Member
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    haha I had a friend like that in college. She was always asking, "does this make me look fat" and she was a size 4! :grumble:

    One day I snapped and responded back with, "YOU LOOK LIKE A F#@CK$NG BEACHED WHALE! How can you possible consider wearing that in public?! The aquarium called because they're missing shamu."

    She never asked for my opinion again :laugh:

    In actuality I ended up "breaking up" with this friend because she was DRAMA 110% of the time. Literally she feigned a pregnancy and then a miscarriage to try and keep her boyfriend from breaking up with her :devil: My life is much better without her in it. I feel bad because she clearly needs help, but I'm not qualified, and I have my own sanity to attend to.

    I realize this girl you're dealing with is family, so you can exactly break up with her, but I bet you could put some distance between you two. Maybe you could come up with a single response and always repeat it word-for-word every time. That way she might realize how repetitive she's being, and then you can try to take any emotion out of how it makes you feel. "that's too bad" or "how about them Packers?" or "ooooh look something shiny" (then walk away) or get a supply of psychologist's business cards and hand them to her every time.

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