Son got a speed ticket

speedyf
speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
edited November 8 in Chit-Chat
My son got a speed ticket Friday afternoon with his car. He's 17. He was driving on a side road and got cut at 73 km/h in a zone of 50. I know he feels bad about it, and he did told me what happened the minute he came home... but I would have received a letter anyway since he's not 18. But I also know that's he's driving a bit too fast. I'm thinking about taking away is car for a week or two... What would you do if this was happening in your family?
«13

Replies

  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    maybe he was honoring your MFP name
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    My son got a speed ticket Friday afternoon with his car. He's 17. He was driving on a side road and got cut at 73 km/h in a zone of 50. I know he feels bad about it, and he did told me what happened the minute he came home... but I would have received a letter anyway since he's not 18. But I also know that's he's driving a bit too fast. I'm thinking about taking away is car for a week or two... What would you do if this was happening in your family?

    Ask him what he thinks the punishment should be.
  • Jain
    Jain Posts: 861 Member
    My Hubby gaot caught a while ago & had the choice of points on his licence or a day attending am advance/safety driving course. He took the course & learned a lot, and it's had the effect that he's slowed down a little.
    Would it be possible for your son to take something like this?
  • pg1girl
    pg1girl Posts: 268 Member
    He was up front and honest. Maybe this was what he needed to realize he needs to slow down. May be a lesson learned. I am a police officer and I find warnings are sometimes more effective than giving an actual speeding ticket. Continue open dialogue with your son. Ask what he thinks should happen. Trust your parenting skills. Way to go for being an involved parent!
  • Xandi
    Xandi Posts: 319
    My son got a speed ticket Friday afternoon with his car. He's 17. He was driving on a side road and got cut at 73 km/h in a zone of 50. I know he feels bad about it, and he did told me what happened the minute he came home... but I would have received a letter anyway since he's not 18. But I also know that's he's driving a bit too fast. I'm thinking about taking away is car for a week or two... What would you do if this was happening in your family?

    Ask him what he thinks the punishment should be.
    this is a great reality test and honestly my son is always harder on himself than I would be ( I am a softy).
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
    I would make him pay the ticket and the difference on your insurance. That is what my parents would have done with me!
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    maybe he was honoring your MFP name

    :tongue: Sorry, but my nickname doesn't have anything to do with my driving; I've been called like that because I type 95 words/minute :laugh:

    And even though I have a muscle car, when you have that kind of a car, you CANNOT speed, otherwise the cops are all around you and checking everything you do.
  • athensguy
    athensguy Posts: 550
    I'm of the opinion that speeding tickets are really just an insidious tax without representation because speed limits are rarely if ever set to an appropriate level. There really is no appropriate level since that would have to take into account driver ability, conditions, and car performance. That said, I drive slowly (9mph over the speed limit in GA) all the time because I don't want to pay that tax I have no say in.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    I would make him pay the ticket and the difference on your insurance. That is what my parents would have done with me!

    Paying the ticket has never been discuss: he knows he'll have to pay it. And he's got his own insurance.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    he would lose the car for a month and possibly more. we live in the country and heat with wood. My favorite is stacking wood. Don't be afraid to punish your children, they will thank you for it later whent hey are older!.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    I would say take the car until he completes the defensive driving course. It's $25 that he should pay out of pocket, and it will take the ticket off his record, help him think twice about when he speeds or does other reckless things while driving (I know it did me! I daily think about what I learned in my defensive driving course), and the time he doesn't have the car is totally up to him. It could be one day, it could be a week. All I know is he has until, I think, about a month from getting the ticket to complete the course for it to be valid. Plus, having taken defensive driving should get you a discount on your car insurance.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    My parents wouldn't have taken away my car. (That would have meant they had to drive me to work and school, since I was already in college at 17 by skipping my senior year.) However, they would have made me pay the ticket AND the increased car insurance. You gonna speed, you pay the fines. Thankfully, I never got a speeding ticket or in a wreck while being supported by them.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    my boyfriend got a speeding ticket 4 years ago when he still lived with his dad. his dad took away his car. him and his dad havent talked since.... even tho i have to walk 35 mins in the snow to work today and he paid for most of that car.... i am 19 years old and when i was 17, i knew when i did something wrong. if you talk with him and explain that he needs to hit the breaks (generaly) he should get it. if he is disrespectful and known to not follow what you say then i guess take the car away. i just know if i got a ticket i would have learned my lesson for myself. then again at 17 i was working full time and living on my own so i kinda had to be careful for myself.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    I got my 1st and only speeding ticket way back when I was 22. I had to pay the fine and my insurance rates got hiked (which I paid not my parents)... for 6 years. I learned my lesson. Punishment enough. Luckily, there was no one who could take my car away since I purchased it and I needed to drive to work to pay for all that.
  • thesmellofapples
    thesmellofapples Posts: 287 Member
    food for thought:

    my sister used to drive like that when she was younger. way too reckless. my parents never did anything to punish her.

    now she doesn't have a car or license because she crashed it into a brick wall and sent a pedestrian to the hospital and got her license taken away because this wasn't the first time she caused an accident.

    don't just take his word for it, he needs to realize it's not okay.
  • LWatson43
    LWatson43 Posts: 65 Member
    I think if you make him go to court and attend the defensive driver course that is punishment enough he was honest. If he attends the course I do not think they will give him any points on his driver licenses or make him pay. Whatever, you do please do not be to hard he seem to be a good kid.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    I would say take the car until he completes the defensive driving course. It's $25 that he should pay out of pocket, and it will take the ticket off his record, help him think twice about when he speeds or does other reckless things while driving (I know it did me! I daily think about what I learned in my defensive driving course), and the time he doesn't have the car is totally up to him. It could be one day, it could be a week. All I know is he has until, I think, about a month from getting the ticket to complete the course for it to be valid. Plus, having taken defensive driving should get you a discount on your car insurance.

    Driving courses are mandatory here: they last 11 months. And he already took that last year.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    I'm of the opinion that speeding tickets are really just an insidious tax without representation because speed limits are rarely if ever set to an appropriate level. There really is no appropriate level since that would have to take into account driver ability, conditions, and car performance. That said, I drive slowly (9mph over the speed limit in GA) all the time because I don't want to pay that tax I have no say in.

    Very rarely have I seen a paragraph that fails to include any logic or common sense. This is one of them.
  • BabyJae2012
    BabyJae2012 Posts: 3
    .
  • briocktj
    briocktj Posts: 128
    I too type 95 plus words a minute.... do you by any chance do transcription LOL? (That is what I do and I LOVE it) As for your son, I say talk with him and see what he thinks and let him pay for the ticket. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with him!
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    I think if you make him go to court and attend the defensive driver course that is punishment enough he was honest. If he attends the course I do not think they will give him any points on his driver licenses or make him pay. Whatever, you do please do not be to hard he seem to be a good kid.

    He's a good kid. He's very responsible and has been working part time for the last 3 years, and he goes to school as well.
    I was thinking about taking away his car for a week, and let him drive under my supervision for another week maybe :huh: I know he wouldn't be happy see me sitting next to him, :laugh:
  • live4turns
    live4turns Posts: 314 Member
    I agree with badgerbadger1. People that criticize yet offer no solutions lack credibility. Speed limits are probably the best available solution to the issue of road safety.
  • numee2012
    numee2012 Posts: 39
    hi its a bit hard as i dont know your son but you could maybe ask him what he thinks you should do after all he may be in your position one day and that way if you and he agree on the consequences then there should be little fuss involved after wards and hopefully he will learn. i would be proud that he was honest enough to tell you straight away good luck
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
    he pays ticket and i wouldnt take away the car for awhile since if he wants to be treated like an adult then if he speeds again and gets caught then the police will be after that
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
    I think you should let the law handle it. He's already been punished in the form of having to pay a ticket with his own money. Hopefully he learns his lesson from that.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    I too type 95 plus words a minute.... do you by any chance do transcription LOL? (That is what I do and I LOVE it) As for your son, I say talk with him and see what he thinks and let him pay for the ticket. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with him!

    I do transcription. I'm a freelance translator, and I work from home.

    And yes, I have a great relationship with my son and my daughter. And I feel lucky for that. Whenever they have questions or interrogations about something, they come to me. And I know it's not like that in every family.
  • AureliaCotta
    AureliaCotta Posts: 99 Member
    My son got a speed ticket Friday afternoon with his car. He's 17. He was driving on a side road and got cut at 73 km/h in a zone of 50. I know he feels bad about it, and he did told me what happened the minute he came home... but I would have received a letter anyway since he's not 18. But I also know that's he's driving a bit too fast. I'm thinking about taking away is car for a week or two... What would you do if this was happening in your family?

    If it happens to my son, HE pays the ticket, not me or his dad. Having to shell out a $100+ dollars of his own money for this might be an effective enough deterrent for future tickets.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    You said he feels bad about the ticket. My advice is to talk to him. He is already being punished for the incident via a ticket, you need to determine if it is enough of a punishment. Does he understand WHY speeding is a bad idea? Does he think that it's a bad idea in order to avoid being ticketed, or does he see the bigger picture?

    If my child brought that home I'd ask her why it's dangerous to speed. Depending on the answer I get would determine the outcome.
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
    I got my first ever speeding ticket6 months ago, doing 72 in a 50 zone.

    I would say if he pays the ticket himself, he's done. Will treating him like a child help him? Is it his car or yours? If it happens again, I'd be more inclined to think of punishments. If it's your car, you could take privleges from him, if it doesn't inconvenience you, because then you are punished instead. But you know your son best. In the past, what have you needed to do in order to modify his behavior?
  • ladybug91254
    ladybug91254 Posts: 232 Member
    I have worked in insurance for 20+ years and having seen the bad side of speeding (and I'm not talking about the insurance rate increase...I'm talking the accidents/injuries/deaths) I think speeding is very serious. HOWEVER, not knowing you son it's difficult to offer advise. Things that come into account are how long he's been driving, is he overall pretty responsible, does he think the ticket is serious and is it going to be more of a hardship on you than him if you take his car for a week? Having said all that I would probably take the car for a week or at least a weekend. I would also talk in depth with him and maybe have him watch a video showing some of the devastation speeding can can...some are pretty emotional and can have a big impact on a young person. You can usually find some at your local library or possibly your insurance agent.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories