Does anyone have family members who are NOT SUPPORTIVE?

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Replies

  • myuva
    myuva Posts: 67
    My husband was not very supportive in the beginning. He was always asking me if I wanted dessert. I would say no and he would sulk. I told him he can have ice cream but I do not want it. I usually gave in cuz I wanted him to be happy and have ice cream, he did not need to lose weight, I do. So I would end up with ice cream too. I sat him down a few weeks ago and told him like it is. He was not respecting me or supporting me....blah blah blah...He is now on board with me and even bought a home gym !!!!! He is right next to me and giving me encouragement.
    Do not listen to the negative nellys in your life ........ do what you need to do to make you happy. Maybe a heartfelt conversation with your Mom would help.
  • DoxieMama70
    DoxieMama70 Posts: 92 Member
    It's such a shame to have toxic, negative, narcissistic people in your life, esp family. My mother is this way, and I know how hard it has been to reach a place in my life where I can deal with her disapproval and negativity about everything I do. While I realize it is her issue, it's no less difficult to deal with.

    Remember that you are doing this for YOU. So that you can be healthy and live a long life! People who care about you are going to be supportive of that.

    Good luck and stay strong!! You are doing a great job!
  • gatecityradio
    gatecityradio Posts: 401
    My grandpa always tells me how fat I am...but my grandma keeps feeding me junk food every time I go over there, all she buys is junk food. My mom and dad are very supportive.
  • draayer7
    draayer7 Posts: 24 Member
    I think I have a little different issue. My family want to see me lose weight, they just don't help and encourage me to do so. I have one friend, that is on here as well, that I can truly rely on in my life to support the choices I am making. I believe you should sit down with your Mom and let her know that this is what you need, and unfortunately your weight loss is not about her, it's about what makes you healthy, happy and confident. Let her know you would love her support, but if she can't it needs to be a dead subject between you. Good luck with your Mom and your weight loss journey!
  • 2dayirun4me
    2dayirun4me Posts: 336 Member
    First off Congratulations on your achievements thus far! My problem isn't with negative family members but with coworkers.
    Stay strong and keep moving forward, once your mom sees your transformation she may want to join you in your healthy lifestyle.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Yes my mom is always telling me that I don't need to diet or lose weight! But I don't listen to her much because after all it is my life. She says if I lose any weight I'll be a skeleton. Easy for her to say she's not overweight xD


    Sweetheart, how over weight are you? You look like a teeny teenager to me.

    Agreeing... she definitely is extremely tiny-faced
  • ElementalEscapee
    ElementalEscapee Posts: 552 Member
    Yup lol.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    definitely ignore it. I know how hard it is to do that but the more you tell people that you are losing and getting healthy, the more they want to sabotage. keep it to yourself until they start to notice all your hard work. my family was not supportive at all until i lost a couple sizes and then it was like, wow, you look great! hubby finally started the compliments after I got more attention from other men and then he said well maybe I will try to start eating better also! they are jealous because they dont have the courage to do what you know it takes to work hard to reach your goals! you can do this with the help of all of us on here!
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    Ya my husband isn't supportive at all.. I have actually only been back at this hard since the 9th of Jan (lost 7.1 lbs) since Jan 9th .. I first joined MFP quite a few months ago.. but anyways.. We play darts on wednesday nights and a friend of ours commented that I wasn't drinking that night (I usually drink quite a bit on dart night) and I just replied back " i'm not drinking on Wed ..." and before I could even finish my sentence which was gonna be " Wednesday nights for awhile" My husband said "Quit telling people that your just setting yourself up for embarrassment, " Needless to say I was heartbroken and embarrassed all at the same time. I confronted him on the way home and asked him why he did that in front of all those people and he just said "whatever you never stick with it and you will just embarrass yourself" So Im used to not having no support at home and doing it myself it can make you or break you.. Its not in anyway his fault that Im heavy or haven't reached my goal weight, its my own I understand that . Although a " You sure have been trying" Or a good job Honey " just once would be nice.
    you show him when you are all hot to trot and the guys at the bar while you are playing darts start hitting on you! that will show him!
  • mammafrog
    mammafrog Posts: 176
    Just left my grandmas where I deal with this. All my family is bigger people and they are telling me how I am too skinny and going to look nasty. I want to badly to scream at them I am getting healthier and the being obese is NOT HEALTHY. I just avoid eating there.
  • katiebythebay
    katiebythebay Posts: 611 Member
    Kind of... does this count?

    My husband tries in spurts to help me on my "diet" needs but is very inconsistent.

    He also makes HUGE portions for everyone because he loves us and wants to make sure we get enough to eat. What he doesn't understand is that bigger portions are worse for us and that sometimes the "piles" of food in front of us are intimidating to look at.

    Unfortunately, he's also a poor example to the kids (and sometimes me) because sometimes he sits in front of the tv late at night, eating half a container of cookies or ice cream.

    I've tried to ween him off of the late night snacking and bad eating choices and sometimes he listens. But mostly, if he's had a stressful day, he doesn't listen and it's really bad for him - it makes the situation worse because he feels terrible afterwards.

    I have my own bad habits and have asked for his help on one certain comfort food I can't seem to say no to but it's hit/miss when he actually complies with my request (to help me with it.)

    But I know, most of the time he's trying, so I can't fault him too much.

    ~katie
  • cherriewilliams
    cherriewilliams Posts: 107 Member
    My mom is that way. She's 350 lbs, on a breathing machine and has heart problems. Her doctor told her she will die by the time she is 60. I don't want to be that way and I'm 232 lbs. 20 of it I gained back after living with her for 8 months. I was down to 210 last year and she told me I was getting too skinny. When I said something to her about me gaining weight while living with her and eating her cooking she just says that's the way it is when you get older, get used to gaining weight and feeling like crap. I'm 37, I don't want to be fat and feel like crap.
  • Fourmenandalady28
    Fourmenandalady28 Posts: 87
    Yes. Yes. Yes. I've been on my journey for a while now, but in the beginning my husband (YES, MY HUSBAND) was my biggest sabotager. He would discourage my efforts, put chocolate on top of my yogurts et. cetera. BUT I FOUND THIS SITE and you guys kept me going when I wanted to give up. Now he is a lot more supportive. But with or without his support I had to learn to take care of me for myself!
  • photo_kyla
    photo_kyla Posts: 322 Member
    Ya my husband isn't supportive at all.. I have actually only been back at this hard since the 9th of Jan (lost 7.1 lbs) since Jan 9th .. I first joined MFP quite a few months ago.. but anyways.. We play darts on wednesday nights and a friend of ours commented that I wasn't drinking that night (I usually drink quite a bit on dart night) and I just replied back " i'm not drinking on Wed ..." and before I could even finish my sentence which was gonna be " Wednesday nights for awhile" My husband said "Quit telling people that your just setting yourself up for embarrassment, " Needless to say I was heartbroken and embarrassed all at the same time. I confronted him on the way home and asked him why he did that in front of all those people and he just said "whatever you never stick with it and you will just embarrass yourself" So Im used to not having no support at home and doing it myself it can make you or break you.. Its not in anyway his fault that Im heavy or haven't reached my goal weight, its my own I understand that . Although a " You sure have been trying" Or a good job Honey " just once would be nice.
    you show him when you are all hot to trot and the guys at the bar while you are playing darts start hitting on you! that will show him!
    That's probably exactly what he's afraid of
  • appleiam1994
    appleiam1994 Posts: 13 Member
    my relatives are always telling me that im being unhealthy for eating vegetables and cereal while they eat fried chicken and roast pork every other day. Its rly hard when your family isnt supportive and criticize you for trying to be fit...haha
  • Aviendha_RJ
    Aviendha_RJ Posts: 600 Member
    Um... yeah... actually. I have a sister who's a vicious breed of witch.

    I look at the jealousy & think... she just wants what I have, & she just wants the dedication I have to get there.

    She can eat my DUST!
  • Rockontoothpicks
    Rockontoothpicks Posts: 34
    Hopefully your mother will get better. And Don't let her discourage you. My mother has health issues too (which is why I am so surprised she hasn't been more supportive of my lifestyle change
  • RumOne
    RumOne Posts: 266 Member
    I have to say that my hubby is the least supportive, and its not even that he is not supportive as he isn't sure how to handle the sudden change. He loves me the way I am and wants me to be happy ( weather that is me fat or not). He took me to McDonald's twice so far (because we were out, its cheap, and I love fries). But I keep chugging along everyday, doing my thing ( measuring out everything, making healthy choices, and walking in all kinds of weather) and slowly he is coming to terms with the fact that this is about getting me healthy and happy not just about losing weight.

    Don't Stop Doing what you are doing. Explain to her that she may choose to eat and live however she wants to live but for you, this is the best choice to achieve your goals.

    Cheating isn't cheating on a diet, it is cheating yourself out of acheiving your goals

    Good Luck to you
  • cowgirlashlee
    cowgirlashlee Posts: 301 Member
    My dad isn't the most supportive guy on the planet. I live at home still, and trying to convince my dad that I really can't eat out every night like he wants to hasn't been easy. My mom on the other hand is fantastic. She's been willing to hand over the keys to the kitchen and let me cook for the 3 of us, even though my dad fights eating "healthy" food. He constantly has told me that I can cheat "a little" and he was outraged when he found out that my uneaten calories from one day don't roll over to the next day. He thinks I'm a fool for trying to eat better and lose weight. I'm 45 pounds overweight for my height, so I need to do this. Hopefully all of us with unsupportive family can get them to understand soon!
  • HealthyisBeauty
    HealthyisBeauty Posts: 16 Member
    my friend went with me to the grocery store today and made fun of me the entire time while I was choosing low calorie foods, nonfat foods, fruits, veggies, and so on. when we were in the frozen section he said something about me counting calories and a woman I didnt know who overheard laughed out loud then apoloigised. I was a good sport about it but it did really bother me, theres nothing wrong with wanting to be healthier. I do look small but I have gained 25 pounds since I started college and it keeps getting worse and worse, and unfortuantely it all goes to my stomach so I am just trying to get back to the normal weight I used to be and make healthier choices instead of late night pizzas and ice cream on study nights. But I also have a really good friend of mine that is in Nursing school with me doing mfp too so Im thankful to have a supporter :)
  • Cassi1990
    Cassi1990 Posts: 74 Member
    My boyfriend and children have always been very supportive of any decision I've made.
    My parent's however have never supported any decision I've made. It is very frustrating but I have to keep telling myself I'm doing this for me. I'm not a child any more and I can't let someones negative comments steer me from what I want out of my life!

    (:
  • xMedullaOblongatax
    xMedullaOblongatax Posts: 136
    I don't get along with my dad. Mom is not in the picture. So right now my family is my fiance!

    My fiance is supportive but only verbally so. It has been a struggle for me to wean him off of our ex-roomie's junk-food "diet". The transition is slow and hard with him, after a year I just now got him around to eating less fried food and changing his spaghetti noodles to whole grain instead of white! He still eats fast food and drinks so much soda he keeps Dr. Pepper in business! =(

    I have argued with him about it to no avail. So I just ate healthy, cooked healthy, and set an example by my own actions... it's having an effect. Slooooooow, but it's happening.

    With people who harp on you for your food choices, just don't pay them any mind. Don't validate their harassment, just keep your chin up and after all of your hard work you can show them how your healthier lifestyle has made you a better person! :D
  • coquette87
    coquette87 Posts: 114
    my friend went with me to the grocery store today and made fun of me the entire time while I was choosing low calorie foods, nonfat foods, fruits, veggies, and so on. when we were in the frozen section he said something about me counting calories and a woman I didnt know who overheard laughed out loud then apoloigised. I was a good sport about it but it did really bother me, theres nothing wrong with wanting to be healthier. I do look small but I have gained 25 pounds since I started college and it keeps getting worse and worse, and unfortuantely it all goes to my stomach so I am just trying to get back to the normal weight I used to be and make healthier choices instead of late night pizzas and ice cream on study nights. But I also have a really good friend of mine that is in Nursing school with me doing mfp too so Im thankful to have a supporter :)

    I could have written this! I'm on the high end of normal for my height (a tiny 5'0'"). But it's been creeping up since I graduated high school in 2005 and I don't like how I look. I was appalled that a dress I wore to a banquet in March 2011 no longer fits. My eating habits weren't fantastic before, but they really went to hell in September 2011 when I started vet school. I'm now quietly trying to take that weight off. The problem? All my friends are bigger than I am, so all they see is a "skinny" girl refusing candy and pizza. My mom is supportive, luckily. My dad isn't. I don't see him much, just on breaks every six weeks or so. When I mentioned at Christmas time that my New Year's resolution was to eat healthier, get in shape and drop 15-20 lbs, Dad scoffed, "You don't need to lose weight! You're perfect! You've always been too skinny and now you're finally getting some meat on your bones!" At that point, I had crossed the border from "normal" to "overweight" and none of my pants fit.
  • myopus
    myopus Posts: 321 Member
    It's not that people are not supportive, it's just they think I'm crazy,weighing food and what not! My husband doesn't disagree with me but he doesn't follow my way of eating and my friends say that I look fine, I don't need to lose weight. My family lives about 10 min away from me and they are supportive, they know it's just a heathier way of eating and taking care of myself........

    Reading this was funny. The idea of using a food scale is so foreign to my family (who all live in another state) that they can't imagine someone using a food scale without having some sort of obsession or compulsion with food or that blanket concept of "dieting".
  • Banrion
    Banrion Posts: 157 Member
    My grandmother, she has 3 granddaughters and is always comparing us. She said well its good you are loosing weight even though you will never be as thin as your cousins and get to shop in those nice stores and wear all those beautiful clothes. I told her well at least I get to wear sexy clothes and not look like a 13 year old prostitute in them!
  • purple_doodles
    purple_doodles Posts: 3
    Yes my mom is always telling me that I don't need to diet or lose weight! But I don't listen to her much because after all it is my life. She says if I lose any weight I'll be a skeleton. Easy for her to say she's not overweight xD


    Sweetheart, how over weight are you? You look like a teeny teenager to me.

    Agreeing... she definitely is extremely tiny-faced

    I'm not tiny faced...
  • 2jayjaysmom
    2jayjaysmom Posts: 248 Member
    Just talk with your Mom...but before you do ask yourself the question: Why is she not taking you seriously....have you started many times to last a few months then back to old habits? etc. You get the point
    Once you have the answers then you will be able to better talk with her, talk NOT saying things like Mom you said this or that...but Hey Mom I need your help with something...blah blah blah and this is why....Can you help me?

    Now she is involved and looking at it in a different way...

    When I got my love ones involved they really stepped up to help me out...during the holidays my Mother loves to cook sweets but she started cooking them differently now all of us are on board eating better. She pickes heathly snacks for my kids when she picks them up after school etc.

    Try it but make sure when you do you have a smile in your voice and on your face...
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