So Upset...

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  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    lets cut to 10 years later (been there!)

    Those same a++holes that were yelling at you are in jail and you are defending them....why because your a lawyer. OR you are playing music for the drug addicts in rehab OR you are serving food in a soup kitchen and they are being served.

    I was very poor at your age. My mom had mental issues, and we didnt even have a proper bathroom. Well kids made fun of me because I was scrawny, and sickly looking.

    I have served soup to one of those kids and went to a weight watchers meeting where one girl was close to 400 pounds. Or the one who can never have kids-and I had 3. or the one who 'stole' my boyfriend, married him and came home to find him with the babysitter on the couch.

    Point is life will go on, and you will be what you make of YOURSELF. IGNORE the farts! They are a blip on the line of life and mean nothing more than an irratating gnat at a picnic.

    You are a beautiful, smart girl. IGNORE them!!
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
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    Ok... I just went and read your profile too... I used to play cello! VERY COOL!

    Umm... the "mom" in me feels the need to say this to you... don't worry about the darn boys. I know, easier said than done. Really though... the LAST thing you need to be worrying about right now is some boy who likes your personality but wants to date someone he can put his arms around. Next time some jerk says that to you... tell them, "Well, I LIKED your personality... but even if you COULD put your arms around me... it wouldn't be comfortable... you just can't hold this much fabulousness!" You've got all the time in the world for a boy to put his arms around you... and honey - as boys get bigger, their arms get longer!
    I met and married my husband when I was 270+ pounds (I'm 5'2). He's 6'3 and his arms fit around me just fine thanks. He loves me for me... not for what my weight. Seriously... look at my profile pic... that's the day before we got married... his arms fit just fine. And the only reason I ever let him put his arms around me is because his heart was even bigger than his arms...

    Do this for you. The rest will come.
  • jdl249
    jdl249 Posts: 46
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    Oh honey I absolutely know what you are going through. I like some of the ideas the others have come up with. I know this may not be the best advice for safety reasons on a bike, but have you considered an mp3 player or iPod to drown out any future negativity? I went walking today up and down my street with my mp3 player/headphones on and I came across one car in an hour's worth of walking.

    High school is tough stuff. I graduated three years ago and if given the chance I would never EVER go back. I hated all four years of my life there. People are going to talk a bunch of crap, believe me. This will just be the cake batter, so to speak, on the cake with icing and candles that is high school drama BS. I suggest you try and come across those people again about 6 months from now when you are undoubtedly slimmer and more healthy, and seeing what they say then.

    Or you could go the cheerleader route in "Bring it On"..."that's alright, that's okay, you're gonna pump my gas someday!" :laugh:

    I was stick thin and loving it when I first got into high school, and then I gained a mass ton of weight (to give you an idea, I went from approx. 115ish to my current weight of 207, because of -- you guessed it -- stress while being in high school). Did people pick on me about it? Eh, not really, there were worse in the school. But that was undoubtedly part of the reason why I only had two boyfriends in high school (out of four total in almost 21 years of life).

    Good luck with everything hon and keep your head up!!
    ~JoAnna
  • jdl249
    jdl249 Posts: 46
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    *had a double post, but just edited it with another thought*

    Okay, you say you were on a bike ride, and yet these immature brats are sitting on their butts calling you names? I hope they were eating something. People can be such hypocrites sometimes.
  • p34tsho
    p34tsho Posts: 2
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    Just ignore them!!!! What creeps!!!!! I feel what goes around comes around!!!! When I was younger(20+) years ago, I was called fat by a guy at campus!!!!! I know what you're going through. Your self esteem is low to begin with and you have some jerks that are trying to push you over the edge. Keep your chin up and DON"T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!! Always, Tammy
  • Momma2four
    Momma2four Posts: 1,534
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    I am so sorry that someone would be that unkind. Be proud of yourself for going on the bike ride. It is really sad that people are that unkind and shallow. This is a true statement even if you have heard it before, but people who do things like that really do not have any self esteem and they need to make others feel bad in order to feel good. . Lift up your chin, get on your bike and ride. If they are there smile sweetly and wave and keep on riding. You are going to lose this weight and you are going to be so proud of yourself. You are a very cute girl and these guys realize that you are out of their league, that seems to make boys (not men) real angry and they say mean things. remember YOU are better than they are and they know it :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • marm1962
    marm1962 Posts: 950 Member
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    I've always found that sarcasm works best for me. I never really cared what other people thought of me, still don't for the most part.

    Called names in school, most people have....I just looked at them and said "yep". Nothing shuts a person up faster than agreeing with them (even if you don't). They get bored quick.

    My favorite these days is to just keep asking a question every time they say something ....the question is always the same......, "and your point is?"
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    I have been in your shoes. In high school there were a lot of the guys who thought it was funny to call me names. Fortunately there are some good guys in the world and some of them even go to your high school.

    I didn't meet the love of my life in high school and if you are looking for acceptance from small minded boys, you need to get your motivation elsewhere.

    I truly feel for you, high school is a very tough time and the skinny girls seem to get all the attention.

    Let me tell you from the other side though. I have an 18 year old son. In High school, he needed to lose 40 lbs and he had acne. He is a kind and gentle person who truly looks at the inner beauty of people and not the outside ( that is something I always talke dto him about) There were very few girls that would have anything to do with him because of his looks. Now he is a handsome young man, in college and in the Army reserves. ( needless to say he dropped some of the weight). Depsite what he has going for him, he still feels he won't get a girlfriend because of how he was treted before.

    Don't look to the cool guys, the jocks or any of those...... sometimes the geeks are the nice guys and if you give them a chance, they will show you. My husband is a former geek Maybe he still has some in him :happy: ) but he treats me better than anyone else in this world and loves me whatever size I am.
  • rosabella
    rosabella Posts: 194 Member
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    Hey, you are a better person on the outside than they will ever be on the inside!! You are beautiful just the way that you are... some boys never grow up, but there are real men who know the difference between a woman who is fun in bed for a night and a woman who is fun to wake up next to every day for the rest of their life. :heart: Keep your head high.

    (And don't worry about the girl you know, she was just relieved the guys weren't picking on her. If she has any sense she'll someday realize that they are viewing all women - including her - as objects and aren't worth the time of day.)
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I've always found that sarcasm works best for me. I never really cared what other people thought of me, still don't for the most part.

    Called names in school, most people have....I just looked at them and said "yep". Nothing shuts a person up faster than agreeing with them (even if you don't). They get bored quick.

    My favorite these days is to just keep asking a question every time they say something ....the question is always the same......, "and your point is?"

    I know you are but what am I ...............I'm a little cutie pie!!

    That is what my daughter repeated to her brothers. :laugh: :laugh:
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
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    Love and support!:flowerforyou: I was the girl whose mom committed suicide! I was the girl who wound up in a foster home, through no fault of my own. kids are stupid and cruel. as long as you know you are here in this site to get fit for yourself, not for the jerks who say mean things you will be alright. You must remember, being "fat" is temporary and you are fixing that, being "Ugly" is permanent! I am not talking the looks of these jerks, I am talking the insides. shake the dust off your shoes, they are not worth your tears. I just attended my 35th reunion, the mean girls were all divorced and unhappy. the cheerleaders were unable to afford to come to the reunion and the guys that spread rumors about me that were not true were all bald, pot bellied, and divorced from the mean girls! Lift yourself up to where you can be in your heart. You are the only one that can stop your success. don;t let that happen! We are all here for you.:flowerforyou: Get fabulous, get even and be successful. no employer looks for mean employees, the public won't tolerate it! Be happy!
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
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    I feel as though everyone has said what I am thinking, but I still want to say that I am so sad that you had to go through this.....

    Why do we mistreat each other?

    You are a beautiful young woman, and those teens were saying mean things to you, because they feel so badly about themself. Just think - would you ever call out anything to someone minding their own business? They must have had NOTHING to do, and NOTHING to talk about, so they were mean to someone else to build themselves up. Remember that this has nothing to do with you, but it's about their insecurities. You, however, were caught in the cross fire.

    The fact that you could still ride your bike on that extra lap is incredible - I don't know what I would have done - probably would have raced home and crumbled. I LOVE the fact that you rode another lap - AWESOME - you showed them that what they say doesn't matter. It's okay that you cried at home, we would all do that, but you were strong in a very hard situation!!! You are one strong chick!

    In highschool, my friends were the "mean girls" - just ruthless b's - and I thank God that I go through highschool (by focusing on studying, and a nice boyfriend - leave the jerks behind), got to University, and never looked back.

    Recently, one of those "mean girls" tried to contact me through a mutual friend, to join her for a drink. I told the mutual friend that I had zero desire to see this girl, and that I had no fond memories of her, and I just couldn't waste a minute of my life sharing a drink with her. You will have that moment, and it will feel good - not to be mean, but to assert yourself and know who you are (although it seems that you are already there!!!).

    And it's true what everyone says - most of the "popular" kids aren't so hot 10 years later.

    You will rise out of this, and all will be well.
    Take good care, and keep your head up doing the extra lap....
    :flowerforyou:
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
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    giving you a bump so that others can see and give more support! Rock that cello! and stay on that bike for one more lap! You go girl!
  • magglett
    magglett Posts: 2,000
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    Hi there ... I just read through this thread and most of what I wanted to say has been said. But I want to send you my best of thoughts. I'm a sensative person too and it just takes a stupid insodent like this to send me over the edge but I've learned with age that I can't let others get to me. They are the one with the problem. They truly feel so bad about themselves that they strike out at people like you and me. You really are above them ... you just have to believe it. Keep up the good work. :flowerforyou:

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