How do you deal with negativity?

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13

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  • Sackit
    Sackit Posts: 45 Member
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    Everyone has opinions and maybe valid one's. I am sure I could make much better eating choices. This is your journey not her's Trust It! You are doing fantastic and should be very proud of yourself. Walk away with a smile, you are accomplishing great things!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Something I have learned in my short life of 21yrs is that.... Most friends, at least ones I have had are never genuinly happy for you when something good happens to you. Idk if it's jealousy, envy or just they don't know how to be happy for somebody but it can also be that they were never in your situation and can't relate or they are but haven't lost weight..... All I know is I keep my head up and do it for me and my satisfaction not anyone elses. ;) Good luck
    Sounds like you have some shallow jerk-off friends...
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    I take it out on hobos by stabbing them.

    how very contrary of you!
    :devil: :devil: :devil:
  • emtastic929
    emtastic929 Posts: 20 Member
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    First of all, bravo to you for 9 lbs lost! Secondly, I think what you're doing is great! If you force yourself to eat things you hate and cut out all of the things you love completely, you'll never stick to it. You want to be good most of the time, rather than great for a short period of time and then have a huge relapse into old bad habits. Thirdly, you have to do what works for you. I, too, eat Lean Cuisine type meals during work days. It's easy, low in calories and high in protein and has a serving of veggies as well. I have a 2-year old daughter and work full time, so I need convenient and easy options that don't take a lot of prep when I'm getting ready for work. And lastly, I'm sorry your "friend" acted like that towards you, rather than celebrating your success with you, like s/he should be doing.

    Keep your head up, be the better person. You are doing great!
  • maryjay51
    maryjay51 Posts: 742
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    i just tell people thanks for the insight and advice and i will consider trying it out..i have a friend who is trying to push some soup recipe on me that does not sound appetizing at all for me..i hate zucchini and all she talks about is how delicious the zucchini is in the soup ..and she complains about my weight lifting and says i dont need to lift weights the way i do at my age.. she conducts classes for zumba and other aerobic workouts and to me looks way older than me when she is six years younger and is a bag of bones..i dont see muscle tone in here like i do in myself .. different strokes for different folks i guess..however she is my friend so i just smile and say thanks and throw the recipe in the garbage lol

    stick with us ..we are positive on here
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
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    I'd ask her how much weight she lost eating oatmeal and fresh lunches. She's just a know-it all. The best thing to do is to tell her what you are doing is working for you and you'll be open for suggestions when it stops. A 3 pound a week average is awesome and she can shove it!
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    It is possible that your friend is threatened by your sucess, she may fear that with this life change you are making that she could lose you to a new life you will find or maybe she just doenst deal with change very well. Even if that change is happening in or for someone else.
    If she is a good close friend I would hope that you can sit down and talk to her about what you are trying to do for yourself and tell her you need her support not to be tore down. If that doesnt work and you still wish to be friends then you will have to just ignore the negative and go with the positive. If she isnt that close then cut the ties now.. She has shown her true colors.
    Or there is the possibility that you are extra sensitive to her feedback. You didnt get the feedback you wanted/needed so it felt extra hurtful?
    If you truly want to make a life change such as weight loss then you will need to surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
    Maybe she has tried to lose weight and it hasnt worked for her. She could be jealous.. The possibilities are endless.
    We all face negatives in our lives on a daily basis. Depending on how you choose to deal with it will reflect on you..
  • Biggipooh
    Biggipooh Posts: 350
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    Next time, you see her eating any prepared food, tell her, she might ruins her health.
  • kvreeken
    kvreeken Posts: 137 Member
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    I have been doing this for three weeks and I have lost nine pounds (my goal is 46.5). I feel great, I have more energy, I feel healthier, my clothes are fitting me better and I find myself happier. Yet today I had a "friend" telling me I could do better, and would if I ate oatmeal (which I can't stand) for breakfast (I usually have a yoplait light), and that i wasnt healthy becuse I eat a lean cusine for lunch. I mean i work 52 hours a week, I am lucky I have the time to heat up the meal and eat it. I eat lean protiens for dinner and include a salad, brown rice, low carb pasta ect. In the evening i have a snack, it may be pretzles, special K cracker chips or a skinny cow ice cream. On weekends my eating habits are less than perfect but i still stick to my calories, fat, carbs ect. I think I am doing pretty good but this so-called-friend really upset me. How does everyone else deal with neagativity? :sad:


    I always say "Thank you, I'll take it into consideration." And then secretly flip them off when I walk away and smile. :laugh:
  • abbigail_r
    abbigail_r Posts: 283 Member
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    There will always be people with an opinion they think is better than yours. You have to learn how to turn it off. Tell her that for now this is working for you. I have found that when I make extreme changes I fail anyways. So If your trying and its working keep going. Always remember to research for yourself. Keep it up, 9 lbs is awesome!! :)
  • Lilower
    Lilower Posts: 5 Member
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    I have only lost 3 lbs in a month and I'm frustrated! All I do is go, always moving til evening. I'm doing what appears to be everything right. Frustrated today~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • willowdancer
    willowdancer Posts: 95
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    I think sometimes people can be really critical about others (their exercise, diet, appearance, etc etc) to make themselves feel more valid, like their way of doing it is better. Or maybe out of anger or spite that they aren't doing as great as you are. I generally hope that this isn't the case with your "friend" and they they had good intentions, but I have met some people who refuse to be happy for others and just have to throw in their bit of rain on your parade.

    But, like a previous poster mentioned; a good punch in the face can work wonders :-) I wonder how many calories that burns? ;)
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
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    :laugh: Bless her heart!....
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
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    i just tell people thanks for the insight and advice and i will consider trying it out..i have a friend who is trying to push some soup recipe on me that does not sound appetizing at all for me..i hate zucchini and all she talks about is how delicious the zucchini is in the soup ..and she complains about my weight lifting and says i dont need to lift weights the way i do at my age.. she conducts classes for zumba and other aerobic workouts and to me looks way older than me when she is six years younger and is a bag of bones..i dont see muscle tone in here like i do in myself .. different strokes for different folks i guess..however she is my friend so i just smile and say thanks and throw the recipe in the garbage lol

    stick with us ..we are positive on here

    Yeah, because zumba and aerobics prevents osteoperosis.... :laugh:
  • Beth720
    Beth720 Posts: 661 Member
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    I personally give them a fake half smile as I chuckle in my head at their bad advice. In this case I would be thinking "Bwahahahahahaha! She force feeds herself oatmeal to lose weight and I'm over here eating real food and doing just fine! hehehe."

    Uh, oatmeal IS real food. Just FYI.
  • ilikejam33
    ilikejam33 Posts: 252 Member
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    I choose to think of it this way:

    "That person cares about me enough to give me advice, this takes courage and it must be coming from a good place"

    What do i do:

    Thank you, I appreciate you feel comfortable enough with me to offer your advice, i get a lot of advice from people and its always different, right now i am trying to find out what works for me, i will definatly look into what you suggested.

    Works every time and for some reason the advise giver always walks away looking very pleased with themselves, and I am free to continue doing what i am doing, but FYI sometimes the advice is actually good so thinking about it may not always be a bad idea :)
  • dakoerber
    dakoerber Posts: 308 Member
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    I have to agree that it sounds like she is just trying to be helpful by offering advice. I would take it for that and nothing more and don't let yourself go to a place of negativity. I think by assuming that this friend is trying to put you down that you let yourself think of it in a negative way. Put a positive spin on it and do what you need to do.

    Everyone is different and will need to do different things to lose weight. One person favorite exercise is another persons least favorite. What works for one person may not for another. If what you are doing is working then just thank her for the advice and continue on. Congratulations on the loss!!
  • ryckryck
    ryckryck Posts: 8 Member
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    You're doing great!!!! Keep up the good work!!!:flowerforyou:
  • Anabannana07
    Anabannana07 Posts: 27 Member
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    You are doing just fine the way you are doing it. Stick to your ways if it works and just smile at people trying to give you advice and do your own thing. Congratulations on your shredded pounds :)
  • maryjay51
    maryjay51 Posts: 742
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    i have a friend who is trying to push some soup recipe on me..she is a zumba instructor and boney as all hell and thinks she has weight to lose.. she is also six years younger than me and looks way older than i do.. however i value our friendship alot and so i graciously accept the advice and do my own thing.. i dont like the ingredients she has in her soup recipe so i can relate to you on the oatmeal advice..although i eat oatmeal almost every day now because i like oatmeal anyway.

    my friend also does not understand my need to lift weights..she doesnt think its necessary.. i happen to enjoy it whether its necessary or not so i continue to do it.. i was going to train with her till she gave me a trial and stuck 5lb weights in my hand..im benching 160lbs so what the hell am i going to do with 5lb weights ?? lol i had to make up a story and say she lives too far for me because i didnt want to hurt her feelings

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