Not getting compliments

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Replies

  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    If you feel good who cares. There just jealous.:heart:

    So because someone does not say something they are jealous?
  • LynneGG
    LynneGG Posts: 95 Member
    I agree with a previous post. People who see you everyday don't notice until you've lost a good bit of weight. I felt the same way and it took 40lbs for my co workers to say anything. I think in the beginning of the weight loss even if they do notice they may be unsure about saying anything for fear of offending you. Enjoy your accomplishments and the reat will come.Satisfaction and movitvation has to come from within first. Its not always jealousy....I've seen it with other co workers who have lost weight and as I said I was afraid to say anything because I did not want to offend them. Weight loss or gain is a very sensitive subject for many.

    Congrats on your weight loss and good luck to you!
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
    Yeah it can get frustrating. This type of mentality always stems from an expectation you can have about how a situation will play out. When it doesn't, it's disappointing.

    What I've noticed about getting compliments is two things inparticular:
    1) I didn't hear a PEEP out of anyone until I hit the 'lost 10kg' mark. I think it takes a lot to notice a small change.
    2) Most, if not all of my compliments have come from women. Every single male in my life either has not noticed at all, or says 'yeah, that's cool' and a pat on the back. (QUICKNOTE: I'm not complaining about how this has turned out, lol)
    Even my own brother looks at me and says 'you can lose more' after losing 14 kgs.

    Not sure why, could be just my experience.
  • Showgirlbody
    Showgirlbody Posts: 402 Member
    I think it definitely has something to do with them seeing you every day. You don't notice people get larger or smaller when they are always there. It's like your puppy growing, you don't remember how little they were until you see a picture.
    I do think that some people don't want to mention anything. Quite a few people I know get offended when someone says "OMG you lost SOOOO Much weight. You look good". They take it to mean "I guess I looked really bad before, jeez". So really I think it's just people are involved in their own stuff and not paying attention to daily nuances.
  • secrets_out
    secrets_out Posts: 684 Member
    If you feel good who cares. There just jealous.:heart:

    So because someone does not say something they are jealous?

    ^^^^this! Maybe they don't want to say anything...what if you hadn't lost weight and they said something...might offend you! People are so touchy...you know you're doing great and we are all here to say WTG!!
  • scatgash
    scatgash Posts: 101 Member
    I read somewhere it takes 4 weeks for you to notice the difference, 8 weeks for your friends to notice and 12 weeks for everyone else to notice. I'm unsure if it is true, but certainly keeps me motivated when I feel down :)
  • NicolettetheGreek
    NicolettetheGreek Posts: 246 Member
    Sorry to hear that. For the record, you (must) look great! ..and, yes, sadly, business suits change in style in nanoseconds. Perhaps the cut is not one that is flattering your new curves. Maybe time to have them tailored, or some eye popping accessories.

    Can you help me? I do not have but 2 friend, need more, but can't figure out how to post..fat is ruining my brain..lol


    NEED FRIENDS..JUST STARTING OUT!! Yes, am shouting..sorry..
  • N_BEAST_MODE_24_7
    N_BEAST_MODE_24_7 Posts: 120 Member
    Are you losing weight to get compliments from others? Why care if someone tells you that you look good or not as long as you feel good about yourself.....nothing else matters! Do it because it makes you feel good, not because you want others to compliment you..
  • lauz31
    lauz31 Posts: 2
    Good on you! I have a whole wandrobe of 'skinny' clothes that I can not wait to be able to wear again. It is nice to hear it from other people and know that people can see the difference. I think you have to lose quite a bit of weight for people to notice and then some may not be comfortable to say anything, especially in a work environment.
  • lizzieollie
    lizzieollie Posts: 11
    Congragulations on your weight loss. I like being able to fit into my skinner clothes.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    Go to work wearing older clothes and no makeup - amazing how much people notice when you look like $h!t, but not when you look great. :laugh:
  • Noel1114
    Noel1114 Posts: 23 Member
    Well done, they're just jealous>
    Keep up the weight loss and feel better !!
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    i agree with one of the previous posters, 7 yrs is a while for any clothing, unless your suits were totally classic. maybe you need to invest in a new suit? even goodwill has nice suits and jackets for like a buck on thursdays if you get the right color tag. that is what i had to do this summer when i started a new job. savers is great also. you would be surprised how many great in style items people donate. i updated my wardrobe for less than fifty bucks and had two weeks worth of clothes, pants and jackets, skirts and tops
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
    You look great to me! :)
    What matters is how you feel when you look at yourself....
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
    Your ticker says 12 pounds; that's great but hardly constitutes a physique transformation.
    Just stay on track and once you lose 30, people will notice for sure.

    I completely disagree. 12lbs can be up to 2 sizes for someone. They can go from having a muffin top to no muffin top (much like my situation)
    Yes, it's great and all, yet don't expect the world to beat a path to your door to offer compliments.
    That's just reality.
    And again, this is not to belittle but to acknowledge that in my opinion, the OP is expecting too much.
    Nobody gave me a second thought until I lost 30lbs, and then it was just a passing comment.

    Let me tell you this.
    When it's significant, people notice, and people comment,.
    After 70+ pounds, I get this daily from just about everybody.

    Be patient and keep punching!
    People will notice in time; you are doing GREAT!

    I concur! From my own experience: I found that people I saw occassionally, began to comment after about 25 pounds. Those who work with me every day, around 50 pounds. Down 70 pounds, and people I haven't seen in 6 months walk right by without speaking, cuz they don't recognize me. The women I work with know me and each other well. I get compliments on my clothes all the time, cuz I try to be stylish with my new purchases. I was heavy for so long, I have to buy new, I never had 'thin' clothes. Every stitch of my clothing is less than 3 months old. It gets pretty pricey to replace a wardrobe!

    Anyway, I bet in a few more pounds, you'll get some comments. Until then, come to mfp, we'll help ya feel great about your hard work!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Are you losing weight to get compliments from others? Why care if someone tells you that you look good or not as long as you feel good about yourself.....nothing else matters! Do it because it makes you feel good, not because you want others to compliment you..
    ^^^^^^
    THIS - but it is nice when others acknowledge.....but that's NOT why we are here.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    Are you doing this for the compliments or for yourself. If I waited for the people at work to compliment me..... I would be waiting a long time.
  • nancycarmella
    nancycarmella Posts: 2
    Hey you see these people everyday,,,its a long process..one day you will walk in and they will be wow! look at you! Congrats and keep pushing forward. I know when I lose weight I see it in my waist line but it really becomes noticeable when your face starts to thin out. That's mt fave.
  • mdebbie1026
    mdebbie1026 Posts: 164 Member
    I am sorry this is a downer. It is not a bad thing to tell some one good job. Like so many others have said you feel great so relish in that. **Hang in there, the time will come when you hear the words of affirmation.** Maybe they are jealous, maybe they feel you are overdressing for the casual office and trying to show them up. Weight is a iffy issue. I have heard people tell others something along the lines of "WOW!! You have lost a TON of weight! How much have you lost?????" The recipient of that comment was no happier than you are. Looking forward to the updates. You ARE doing a great job!
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
    forget about 'em. You look great, you feel great about yourself. Do it for you, no one else!
  • Valarie73
    Valarie73 Posts: 24 Member
    As long as you are feeling good and you know you look good - well..that's what really matters. Sure, the compliments are great - though I wouldn't know, it's been a while. Hahah. Seriously though - compliments are great, but if you don't get them from the co-workers, try not to let it get you down. You know you're making progress and you know you're feeling good - so go with it, and share your accomplishments like getting into smaller clothes here - because WE think it's AWESOME!!!
  • crazybeautifulkittie
    crazybeautifulkittie Posts: 86 Member
    Sometimes people are actually not very observant. For example I chopped off like 6 inches of hair and only a handful of my closest friends realized. So usually unless its extremely drastic, they won't notice. But I bet if you ran into someone you haven't seen in a while, they will notice. And can you really expect those women to be very open with complements? Usually unless they are particularly nice or thoughtful or uplifting, its rare to get a compliment even if you do like jessica alba.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    If people see you everyday they're less likely to notice any change, especially because that change is gradual. It's only people who don't see me often who comment on my weight loss.
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
    Thanks, Guys! It probably is combination of all those things. My main beef is with the suits. I still want to lose 20 lbs so I'll have to just be outdated until I hit that mark.
  • Huskeryogi
    Huskeryogi Posts: 578 Member
    People at work didn't start noticing my weight loss until I got under the weight I had started the company at 5 years ago. Honestly I decided to just be grateful they didn't notice the weight gain rather than get upset they weren't seeing the loss. I hit the 25lb mark (5 lbs under my weight when starting at the company) and everyone started to notice.
  • kingkong123
    kingkong123 Posts: 184 Member
    This is one of the wildest threads I've seen on mfp
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    maybe they think its rude to comment on your weight in an office setting..
    the only person i look for this from is my ole man and my mom LOL
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    know this...getting complements is nice, but there's also a possible downside to them. that possible downside is COMPLACENCY. perhaps you've heard about super prospect ballplayers who "read their own press clippings" about how great they are...then stop working hard...and fail to achieve greatness. You haven't achieved your goal. Yes, be proud of yourself for the progress you have made, but remember you aren't where you want to be. If you start having others tell you that you look different, better, etc. ... you might start easing up on the journey ... it would become easier to forget your goal and the hard work necessary to get there. I'm not saying this would happen to you...but its possible.

    I've lost 70 pounds so far on my journey. About 25 pounds ago, the complements really started rolling in. I went several months being complacent and half assing it through the journey...not solely because of the complements, but they didn't help subconsciously. I finally told myself "screw that, I'm not near my goal and while these folks are being nice, they don't know the pockets of fat I still want to destroy". Now that I'm even closer to my goal, folks are "surprised" to hear I want to lose another 10 or so pounds, and that I look fine where I'm at now. you know what, thanks for the complements, but EFF THEM. I don't need the noise in my head. I don't want that dang complacency creep to rent space in my mind again. I will remain fierce.

    anyway, my .02 as to another way to look at this.
  • Mich3ll36
    Mich3ll36 Posts: 96
    Alot of times, the people that spend the most time with us dont see the changes as quickly as maybe someone you see once a month or so. Good job on the loss! Stay positive and remember.... you know you look hot! :-) HUGS!
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