Friends with a girl

2456

Replies

  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    So two years ago, I was dating around and I had a fling with this pretty darn awesome woman.Let's call her Marge. We had loads of fun, great physical connection, but she flaked on me and then went on vacation. The following week, I met the woman I expect to spend the rest of my life with (or the rest of hers, whichever comes first). My fiance and I share a bond I never thought possible. We just fit together. If I hadn't met her, I'm pretty sure I might have managed to make a go of it with Marge and been very happy, just not AS happy.

    Now, I think I would like to hang out with Marge as a friend now, because we share certain interests, such as eating organ meats in sketchy ethnic restaurants. However, the only time we have hung out together was in the context of a sexual fling and she is as attractive as ever. It's not that I think there would be any chance of me cheating - I can keep it in my pants, thank you. But I just don't know how to make a good transition from fling/potential girlfriend to platonic friend I want to eat tripe soup with. I feel like she would be like my food girlfriend. Any advice?

    Sorry homey. Once you have feelings for someone, YOU ALWAYS HAVE FEELINGS FOR THAT PERSON, you can tell yourself that but deep down inside you know you still wouldnt mind a go at that.

    Just my opinion though
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    My fiance would be totally cool with it - hell, she thinks I should hang out with my ex-wife, and she has several friends she used to date. But as for me, I just don't know if I can be friends with someone I still kinda want to sleep with. I mean, I could certainly hang out with my ex wife... we never had sex while we were married, no reason why we would start now! Come to think of it, I have other female friends I've slept with and I don't even think about it even though they are totally hot. More reason to stay aweay in this case!

    I think you and your fiance need to come to terms with the fact that you want to be swingers.
  • tangie82
    tangie82 Posts: 285 Member
    You can have a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but not after you've seen them naked. Too risky, don't do it!
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    If you have to ask...you already know the answer.

    This.
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
    You say you can keep it in your pants but that you find her attractive and "kind of" want to sleep with her. If you don't want to end up in bed with her, don't hang out with her. Sounds to me like you're looking for trouble.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    If you want to be friends with her because she is attractive, ask permission from the love of your life. If by some miracle she allows you to be friends with her, include her with your outings with Marge.
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
    I didn't even read the post. I just know the topic is not possible.

    thats not true at all.

    i have a friend that is absolutely gorgeous. Phillipino, great figure, big ra... , well anyway. Im physically attracted to her, but I prefer more of a girly girl personality were she is more tomboyish. We go boarding, watch laker games, etc. Not once have we crossed over that line and we've been friends for many years.

    I agree with you because you never crossed that line .. He did .. different story .

    Stay away and rethink you're relationship with your fiance to make sure she really is everything to you . I'm sure you think she's cool and you love her but seriously, even thinking about this sends another message .

    And theres NO WAY she's okay with it . How many times have you asked a woman 'whats wrong?' and she says 'nothing' .
    See where I'm going with this ???
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    I never understood the whole guys and girls can't be friends nonsense.

    My advice? Don't take advice from people on the net.
  • mo_is_here
    mo_is_here Posts: 95
    But as for me, I just don't know if I can be friends with someone I still kinda want to sleep with.



    ^^^ You never mentioned in your first post that you still want to sleep with her. Dude do yourself a favor and forget it. It's a BAD idea.
  • a6ftdiva
    a6ftdiva Posts: 88 Member
    your basically asking for permission to light a match in a pool full of gasoline...

    only one thing will happen here... you will get burned...

    even if you dont sleep with her and keep her as a "food girlfriend" your REAL GIRLFRIEND will eventually get jealous and then angry and then POOF up in smoke...

    STAY CLEAR and eat your internal animal organs in solitude....
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    Not much good can come of it. I have a similar situation, but I've just decided I had to let him go. We are just friends on facebook now. That's it. I know there will always be a sexual tension there and even though I can resist temptation, it's just not worth putting myself in that spot.

    Also, I like tripe in my soup, but it always sticks in between my teeth.
  • heatherlh83
    heatherlh83 Posts: 76 Member
    "Fiance" and "kind of wanting to sleep with another woman" shouldn't go together.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    I never understood the whole guys and girls can't be friends nonsense.

    My advice? Don't take advice from people on the net.
    Haha. Very true. Guys and girls can totally be friends. But I think when your "friendship" starts of as a sexual relationship and never gets the chance to fizzle out it can spell trouble. It's hard to just turn it off.
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    I never understood the whole guys and girls can't be friends nonsense.

    My advice? Don't take advice from people on the net.
    Haha. Very true. Guys and girls can totally be friends. But I think when your "friendship" starts of as a sexual relationship and never gets the chance to fizzle out it can spell trouble. It's hard to just turn it off.

    True. And considering he still wants to bang her, it's probably a good idea that he doesn't take her out for a little tripe.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    How many times have you asked a woman 'whats wrong?' and she says 'nothing' .
    See where I'm going with this ???

    You mean when she says that there really is something wrong? huh.gif
  • Iamkim73
    Iamkim73 Posts: 924 Member
    If you want to be friends with her because she is attractive, ask permission from the love of your life. If by some miracle she allows you to be friends with her, include her with your outings with Marge.

    Exactly!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Did I miss a reference to your Fiancee's thoughts on this?

    This is a decision between you and your fiancee? If she doesn't want it, you have two choices: Stop seeing Marge or stop break it off with your fiancee.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    If you can't double date, then your fiance will see it as a threat.
    Not worth it.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    ask your wife what she thinks
    chances are you should stay away...
  • jessicaann05
    jessicaann05 Posts: 67
    You can have a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but not after you've seen them naked. Too risky, don't do it!

    ^^Yep^^ Playing with fire.

Categories