Friends with a girl

How do you handle this? You don't. There is no switching from sexy fling to platonic friend. It doesn't work, and I've seen it go downhill where my friends were involved -- happens every time. Plus, how would your fiance feel? I think it depends on the person but I know my husband surely wouldn't be hanging out with an old fling.

This is ridiculous to even be asking. I know that you already know the answer, but felt the need to post about it for whatever reason. If you have such a great relationship with your fiance, she's the one, etc. etc. then you wouldn't even be considering going down this road. That's just my opinion. It's one things to BE friends with a female, maybe an old friend from college, high school (depending on your age), but an ex-fling who you have sexual feelings for? Nah. And any MAN would respect those boundaries for the sake of their relationship. But...what do I know.

My two closest friends are men. Now saying that, we've never had any sort of sexual relationship history. However, i believe that if, inside, you truly think you just want to be her friend, than you can do it. If there is any even relatively small inkling of chemistry with her, than I think it's not worth it and too dangerous. (saying that, I find both my male friends very attractive, and I'm aware of it, but it doesn't mean I want them sexually) What happens a few years down the road when you and your soul mate get into a fight, like every couple does, and you go seek comfort with the wrong person? We're all human, mistakes happen. However, if this friendship is going to be a mistake than let it be the one mistake that doesn't happen to your great relationship.

It works for me though ( having close non-sexual relationships with men) and it's a real blessing in life. I constantly benefit from their take on life, and they occasionally benefit from mine. I've been very blessed with the somewhat unaccepted lifestyle. I think quite a few people are very skeptical of male/female relationships, but i think it's only because those people wouldn't be able to have them, so they distrust others. If you think it can work, than hang out with her, during the day time (at first so as to avoid a "datey" scene) and go bowling or something like that, it means no physical contact, just hanging out and it's in no way romantic. Pretty soon you won't have to "try" to slip out of the hook-up type relationship you two had, it'll just be easy and natural.

if your intentions are honest, your actions will be to.

You can't find anyone else to eat with? Seriously?

I never understood the whole guys and girls can't be friends nonsense.

My advice? Don't take advice from people on the net.

Haha. Very true. Guys and girls can totally be friends. But I think when your "friendship" starts of as a sexual relationship and never gets the chance to fizzle out it can spell trouble. It's hard to just turn it off.

True. And considering he still wants to bang her, it's probably a good idea that he doesn't take her out for a little tripe.

I'm starting to think "taking her out for tripe" is a euphemism.

So two years ago, I was dating around and I had a fling with this pretty darn awesome woman.Let's call her Marge. We had loads of fun, great physical connection, but she flaked on me and then went on vacation. The following week, I met the woman I expect to spend the rest of my life with (or the rest of hers, whichever comes first). My fiance and I share a bond I never thought possible. We just fit together. If I hadn't met her, I'm pretty sure I might have managed to make a go of it with Marge and been very happy, just not AS happy.

Now, I think I would like to hang out with Marge as a friend now, because we share certain interests, such as eating organ meats in sketchy ethnic restaurants. However, the only time we have hung out together was in the context of a sexual fling and she is as attractive as ever. It's not that I think there would be any chance of me cheating - I can keep it in my pants, thank you. But I just don't know how to make a good transition from fling/potential girlfriend to platonic friend I want to eat tripe soup with. I feel like she would be like my food girlfriend. Any advice?

Wether u realize or not -- ur curious about what might still be there--don't play that game

dont do it to yourself

My fiance would be totally cool with it - hell, she thinks I should hang out with my ex-wife, and she has several friends she used to date. But as for me, I just don't know if I can be friends with someone I still kinda want to sleep with. I mean, I could certainly hang out with my ex wife... we never had sex while we were married, no reason why we would start now! Come to think of it, I have other female friends I've slept with and I don't even think about it even though they are totally hot. More reason to stay aweay in this case!

I'm gonna be blunt. She's not okay with it. If she is, she was born with an additional copy of chromosome 21. No women in their right mind would be okay with their significant other hanging out with a previous SEXUAL partner. The way you explained it, all you guys did was have sex. What is the point?

i agree with this every girl wants to be ok with it but i think after u start hanging out she wont feel that way. And if it was just a sexual relationship whats the point. Go find a dude that shares your interests or a girl that you did not have a past with

Oh WHATEVER! The next one of you I see calling my friend Formic...Espressoman dumb or dense is going to have a very unpleasant forum life courtesy of yours truly.

I'm telling you right now change the gender of this topic and every response would change. Have a woman ask if it's ok to have lunch with an ex and all you're going to hear is "No man owns me! I'll have lunch with who I want! We're just friends."

I have to agree with this.

I think if you wanted to be platonic friends/food friends with her, that's how it should have stayed. I feel once that line is crossed and there is a sexual thing going on, it's not ever easy going back to being platonic. I would not have kept it at being friends..... JMO