So confused by a lot of people on here...
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I think people expressing their own opinion in a public forum is what makes this world a free, open and interesting place to live, however, I do agree that a lot of people lack tact and respect when they comment and criticise others. Those people, I personally just ignore! Problem solved!0
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So, you asked *why* people do what they do?
I think its the "true believer" theory. Ever meet a new convert? To anything? They feel compelled to evangelize. They have seen the light and they truly "cannot stand" to see anyone else living in darkness. A new religion, meditation, veganism, primal eating, beachbody, whole foods, straight-calorie counting...whatever it is, they have seen the light. And they are going to share it with you, like it or not!
Of course, not everyone who does something new has a "conversion" experience, which is why not everyone becomes an evangelist. But people who do have these experiences? Watch out!
And..these folks tend to be like that about everything. So it may be that some people are just "ripe" for conversion experiences. But its also true that things that are culturally meaningful gain converts....in our culture, nutrition and diet has reached religion type status in ways that...say, rollerblading has not. So, you may continue to expect more true believers on a weight loss site...for better or worse.0 -
The Golden Rule comes to mind.0
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So, you asked *why* people do what they do?
I think its the "true believer" theory. Ever meet a new convert? To anything? They feel compelled to evangelize. They have seen the light and they truly "cannot stand" to see anyone else living in darkness. A new religion, meditation, veganism, primal eating, beachbody, whole foods, straight-calorie counting...whatever it is, they have seen the light. And they are going to share it with you, like it or not!
Of course, not everyone who does something new has a "conversion" experience, which is why not everyone becomes an evangelist. But people who do have these experiences? Watch out!
And..these folks tend to be like that about everything. So it may be that some people are just "ripe" for conversion experiences. But its also true that things that are culturally meaningful gain converts....in our culture, nutrition and diet has reached religion type status in ways that...say, rollerblading has not. So, you may continue to expect more true believers on a weight loss site...for better or worse.
I see. Interesting way of putting it!0 -
because people on the internet hide behind a computer. i highly doubt they would say any of that to your face.
i don't see anything wrong with having a cheat day. if you totally ban things from your diet (and without health reasons, i.e. i'm lactose intolerant and am watching my cholesterol intake so that's a no brainer for me) then you will likely fail with your weight loss goals. and if you're the type of person who doesn't believe in cheat days, then don't have one. i agree though, they don't need to get on their high horses and judge others for the way they're going about their weight loss. that's just BS and harms the community as a whole. aren't we all here to support and encourage each other?
if one of my friend's was eating McD's every day and complaining about not losing weight, then i might get on my high horse and say something...0 -
I think I've been very lucky with my friends on MFP, as they are all really supportive and don't tend to criticise me when they read my open diary (even though I consume convenience foods, salty snacks, and even...DIET COKE!! :noway: - I always aim to stay within my calorie limit of course! ).
But I know what you mean - I've seen what some people are like when I've browsed the community forum. I can totally understand why it gets you down.
My main priority is losing weight, and as you rightly say, what works for one person may not work for another - but it would be so boring if we were all the same! As regards eating healthily - there are no guarantees that you will not be struck down by ill-health however well you eat, and I feel that you can only do your best. Life is too short to get stressed out about the odd diet coke (etc)
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If no one ever spoke up to offer advice or even criticism about things that are unhealthy, how would many of us ever know any better?
Surely most of these things are obvious, though, and if they're working for them why worry? If eating McDonalds once a week IS affecting someone, they'll come on asking for help. If they simply want to discuss what people choose when they go, I don't see why people come in giving their opinion about how 'McDonalds is poison'.
Nobody goes to McDonalds from the age of about three years onwards convinced it's healthy. Nobody needs people coming in and going 'Ugh...McDs is disgusting...think of all that grease and the chemicals". It's obvious stuff.
LOL ... You would be surprised how many people really have no clue about what they are putting into their body.0 -
Unfortunately we have people who jump feet first into weight loss and end up harming themselves in the long run. Yea we run into douche bags on here but 90% of the time its people trying to help.
I often get called "blunt" or "Mean" when on the forums but I can honestly say that the people that I did educate are now losing weight with high calorie diets.
BTW I'll eat anything that fits into my macros and lose weight.
I may gain some water weight due to sodium but screw it! I know it goes away after a day!
sometimes we need to have thicker skin and really read and compare the thoughts and ideas of others.
A lot of it is bull****.
Some of it is true!
Never take advice from someone with 0 weight loss and 1 forum post.
=D
Perfect response! People are just throwing out the information. You can choose what you want to do with it. It's good to have as much info as you can to make your decisions.0 -
When you give your opinions in a public place you open yourself up to hearing other peoples opinions,ignore them or tell them to *kitten* off, if your are not interested in their opinions0
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And why do you expect that? Are you new to the internet?It's a public forum - what do you expect?!
i expect people not to get the annonomus(sp) mentality and pile on people about stuff. i know half the people that start yelling and screeming about stuff on here or in forums in general wouldnt dare say half of what they do to someones face0 -
It's safe to say that at least 80% of the posts here are noise - either misleading, irrelevant, or flat-out false. Before you take anything to heart, consider the track record of the person posting.0
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When you give your opinions in a public place you open yourself up to hearing other peoples opinions,ignore them or tell them to *kitten* off, if your are not interested in their opinions
Totally this! Take nothing personally, take everything with a pinch of salt.0 -
I quite simply side with facts and science, if someone is spouting broscience or promoting something unsafe or completely asinine then it's open to criticism and correction even if it is rude. "What works for someone didn't work for me" is a very broad statement, people don't change the law of thermodynamics, etc (yes certain body types will have it easier or more difficult, but this still doesn't change the approach) because they are "different", maybe medically or underlying health wise they are "different" but the science doesn't lie and there is no unique factors involved in 99% of the cases on here. Which is why some people get snarky responses from others when they are being naive and haven't typed into GOOGLE for some facts first.0
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Just TRY and have a diet coke on here.... go ahead... I DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE this ^. For me, it's Sweet N' Low in my iced tea, but I rarely mention it because I just don't want to hear it. Besides, I had a pharmacist/chemist tell me it's probably the safest of the sugar substitutes out there. Everyone has an opinion. Just listen to what you want to hear. Ignore the rest.
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What are we supposed to talk about if we don't offer our opinions? Take what you like and leave what you don't. Do not, ever, ever take anything anyone on the internet says personally. Most people mean well, and those who don't are just insecure.
Also, I'm sorry but McDonald's is poison.0 -
\This is the reason that I made my food diary private a long time ago, and then left the site for a long time. Now I'm back (after regaining what I had lost) but I'm going to be much more careful about what I post and who I'm friends with.
Me too I was just talking about this on my thread!0 -
It makes me giggle when I hear people use the term :i bet you wouldnt act like that in real life" How do you know?
The way I am here is the way I am in day to day life just with less typos0 -
This is the reason that I made my food diary private a long time ago, and then left the site for a long time. Now I'm back (after regaining what I had lost) but I'm going to be much more careful about what I post and who I'm friends with.
THIS^^^^^
I just made mine private because I was having issues not taking in sugar. (hypoglycemia possibly) I have others trying to get me to go on their diets, not understanding that my body needs the sugar. I have to modify my diet to work around that, and I don't need people telling me I am eating wrong,when I already know that, and am trying to fix it to benefit MY body!0 -
I get what you're saying, and people do sometimes get a bit preachy on here, but most of it comes from wanting to help. I have to say, though, that if I don't want feedback/advice/discussion about something, I won't post it or say it. I'll just think it to myself.0
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This is the reason that I made my food diary private a long time ago, and then left the site for a long time. Now I'm back (after regaining what I had lost) but I'm going to be much more careful about what I post and who I'm friends with.
THIS^^^^^
I just made mine private because I was having issues not taking in sugar. (hypoglycemia possibly) I have others trying to get me to go on their diets, not understanding that my body needs the sugar. I have to modify my diet to work around that, and I don't need people telling me I am eating wrong,when I already know that, and am trying to fix it to benefit MY body!
Have you looked into imported agave nectar?0 -
............I know what works for me.......
If you truly believe/know this, then it shouldn't matter what others say....keep doing your thing. 98% of the the posts on here are people asking in one way or another "what do you think about this, or why am I not losing, etc", so I think some people automatically feel like they hav to give their two cents......sometimes maybe while thinking they are being helpful.
The other thing is, like is said earlier, if it's working for you, and you McDonalds every day, then who give a mess about someone saying it's the worst and most unhealthy food in the world. People on here need to take everything said with a grain of salt.......take and apply what you can use, and discard the rest. I get so frustrated to see so many people NEED the validation from others to be able to proceed with their diets with confidence when what they've been doing has been working. Sure, validation and recognition from others is nice, but each one of us has to be responsible for OUR OWN diets.
Now, if "advice" is coming across as insensitive and rude, then that is another story all together.0 -
I get what you're saying, and people do sometimes get a bit preachy on here, but most of it comes from wanting to help. I have to say, though, that if I don't want feedback/advice/discussion about something, I won't post it or say it. I'll just think it to myself.
I am grateful for your scientific approach to this. And thank you.0 -
I get what you're saying, and people do sometimes get a bit preachy on here, but most of it comes from wanting to help. I have to say, though, that if I don't want feedback/advice/discussion about something, I won't post it or say it. I'll just think it to myself.
I am grateful for your scientific approach to this. And thank you.
As a scientist she is very wise0 -
I agree with not getting preachy about things here... and I also do not believe in putting ANY particular food (especially if you like it) OFF LIMITS because it will eventually cause resentment and binge eating.
The majority of us (people in general)... 1. want to help. 2. do not welcome unsolicited advice well.
Edited... I forgot one more thing... it looks like you're doing great, and I agree with you to do what works for you as long as it's not HCG!!! LOL0 -
............I know what works for me.......
If you truly believe/know this, then it shouldn't matter what others say....keep doing your thing. 98% of the the posts on here are people asking in one way or another "what do you think about this, or why am I not losing, etc", so I think some people automatically feel like they hav to give their two cents......sometimes maybe while thinking they are being helpful.
The other thing is, like is said earlier, if it's working for you, and you McDonalds every day, then who give a mess about someone saying it's the worst and most unhealthy food in the world. People on here need to take everything said with a grain of salt.......take and apply what you can use, and discard the rest. I get so frustrated to see so many people NEED the validation from others to be able to proceed with their diets with confidence when what they've been doing has been working. Sure, validation and recognition from others is nice, but each one of us has to be responsible for OUR OWN diets.
Now, if "advice" is coming across as insensitive and rude, then that is another story all together.
I don't think you've really got what I'm saying from the thread. I'm not saying that it's an issue for people who've been doing things and know they're doing it right, but for newish people who are still trying to find their way.
My first month or so, I don't remember it that well now, but I know I was testing the waters with when to allow myself chocolate, and whether or not to offer myself rewards. Over a year on, that's not a problem, but if I'd have been on MFP when I first started and had made the passing comment "I've decided I'm going to have McDonalds once a month", only to receive a flurry of replies and personal messages telling me McDonalds was poison and "What are you even doing on this site if you still think you can eat McDonalds on occasion?", I can imagine that would have had a pretty big impact. I would probably have doubted my own instincts (since this would be before I knew what was working), and possibly have been thrown off course completely - and it wouldn't have been a case of me not knowing that McDonalds wasn't a healthy choice, it would have been due to people aggressively telling me things I already knew and making it sound like they were the authority on the issue.
Edit: To add, I totally understand when people go "You do know how high the sodium levels in a Big Mac are, and how that will cause you to store water weight?", just not when people are so aggressive.0 -
I tend to disagree on this with some people.
If we truly know what works then how did we get ourselves to be overweight?
I had to do things another way to lose my weight and understand the physiology behind weight loss and this new way of life!
My way wasnt right in the beginning!
I'm no expert on weight loss or nutrition but when I did what the experts told me to do...I lost a significant amount of weight.
Now I pass on what they told me!0 -
............I know what works for me.......
If you truly believe/know this, then it shouldn't matter what others say....keep doing your thing. 98% of the the posts on here are people asking in one way or another "what do you think about this, or why am I not losing, etc", so I think some people automatically feel like they hav to give their two cents......sometimes maybe while thinking they are being helpful.
The other thing is, like is said earlier, if it's working for you, and you McDonalds every day, then who give a mess about someone saying it's the worst and most unhealthy food in the world. People on here need to take everything said with a grain of salt.......take and apply what you can use, and discard the rest. I get so frustrated to see so many people NEED the validation from others to be able to proceed with their diets with confidence when what they've been doing has been working. Sure, validation and recognition from others is nice, but each one of us has to be responsible for OUR OWN diets.
Now, if "advice" is coming across as insensitive and rude, then that is another story all together.
I don't think you've really got what I'm saying from the thread. I'm not saying that it's an issue for people who've been doing things and know they're doing it right, but for newish people who are still trying to find their way.
My first month or so, I don't remember it that well now, but I know I was testing the waters with when to allow myself chocolate, and whether or not to offer myself rewards. Over a year on, that's not a problem, but if I'd have been on MFP when I first started and had made the passing comment "I've decided I'm going to have McDonalds once a month", only to receive a flurry of replies and personal messages telling me McDonalds was poison and "What are you even doing on this site if you still think you can eat McDonalds on occasion?", I can imagine that would have had a pretty big impact. I would probably have doubted my own instincts (since this would be before I knew what was working), and possibly have been thrown off course completely - and it wouldn't have been a case of me not knowing that McDonalds wasn't a healthy choice, it would have been due to people aggressively telling me things I already knew and making it sound like they were the authority on the issue.
Edit: To add, I totally understand when people go "You do know how high the sodium levels in a Big Mac are, and how that will cause you to store water weight?", just not when people are so aggressive.
I see what you're saying. People can get so obsessed. People can become so passionate about health, much like someone might over religion, that they feel that their way, is the ONLY way, and have to push it on others instead of helping to educate them and le them make their on choices.
Also, if I came across too strong in my earlier post, it wasn't intentional.0 -
I see what you're saying. People can get so obsessed. People can become so passionate about health, much like someone might over religion, that they feel that their way, is the ONLY way, and have to push it on others instead of helping to educate them and le them make their on choices.
Also, if I came across too strong in my earlier post, it wasn't intentional.
Not at all, don't worry.
I'm really finding all the responses to this thread interesting. It's giving me a bit of an insight into what motivates people to comment on the things the way they do.0 -
I have been on here now for nearly 1 month, and I have no friends on here......No I am not antisocial, my weightloss is a personal journey. I got myself into this state and I am going to get myself out of it. I love to read all the threads and comment on a few. i intend on sharing some of my sucsesses and I am sure in the future I will ask for advice on certain things.
My food diary is private, because of people acting in the very manner you have spoken about. I have the odd bit of chocolate, I even have some crisps (oh the shame lol)
I eat healthy most of the time, I always stay within my calorie range and i am consistanly losing weight.
A little bit of what you fancy does you no harm!!!!
I am happy 0 -
Just TRY and have a diet coke on here.... go ahead... I DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pmsl :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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