Does You Spouse Motivate Or Complicate Your Weight Loss?

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Replies

  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    My husband is a little of both! We started this thing together, and so some days I fall of the wagon and mess him up, and some days he messes me up. Most days though, we keep each other honest/sane. And he notices all the little changes in me and compliments them so that helps keep me motivated.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,543 Member
    My "spouse" hated it. But I no longer have a "spouse".

    My new fiance, is more encouraging than anyone I've ever met...it's AWESOME.
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
    Both. On one hand he is complimentary of my progress and supportive. On the other hand he still comes home with all kinds of foods he knows I don't want around and find hard to resist. I'll keep him though.
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
    He completely supports me but he tells me nearly every day that I don't need to lose weight.
  • Bless his heart, he never noticed that I put on weight! When I told him how much I weighed at my highest, he was shocked. So he's pretty neutral about it because he thinks I'm gorgeous at any weight. :-D That being said, he wants me to be happy and is supportive of me heading off to the gym and cooking healthy, loves how bouncy I get when I drop another pound, and he doesn't bring junk food into the house apart from his beloved carrot cake, which I'm not fond of anyway so that's not a problem.
  • shivaslives
    shivaslives Posts: 279 Member
    Yes
  • both. he is supportive in the sense that he's sensitive to what i want to eat, encourages me to take walks with him and stuff...but then can eat like a giant bowl of spaghetti and not gain a pound. or, he'll want to make a cake or cupcakes or something, and i just can't have that stuff around!

    Same here! He is always wanting to eat out on the weekends and I get sick of cooking so he is all for whatever we can find cheap whether it is healthy or not. He does encourage me, but he also will not do anything with me.
  • mrsvatitagain
    mrsvatitagain Posts: 275 Member
    Motivates me, in fact he his loosing with me! We are looking great together!
  • Tivo8MyNeighbors
    Tivo8MyNeighbors Posts: 151 Member
    My ex was a master saboteur, but THIS husband, man, he roxors! He is super supportive, not only of the aesthetic aspect of losing weight, but also of the improvement in my health. He tells me he wants me around a really long time, and that motivates me even on days when I just don't feel like doing anything. It helps that he was a Navy medic, so he's fully aware of the health benefits of eating right and exercise, and he's a soldier in the U.S. Army now, so every day, he gets up at the crack of dawn for PT. It's nice having an active spouse who likes to get out and do things. :)
  • CheleLynn44
    CheleLynn44 Posts: 339 Member
    I would have to say my hubby is a BIG supporter of my lifestyle changes. I count myself very lucky!! He will eat whatever I make (my daughter too!) for meals, and even when something new I have tried doesn't turn out so well we just laugh and move on. I wish our schedules were better so that we could exercise more together, but we do whenwe can. He can forget to ask me on Thursdays how I did, he is working on trying to remember that that is the day I weigh in.

    It's also nice that when I talk about stuffregarding MFP he listens and talks with me. He also lets me pretty much pick the places we go to when we do eat out sibce I check nutritional info online before we go.

    My hubby is a cookie monster, he loves hus cookies. I still buy them every week for him because I have a pretty good handle on my eating and if I don't want to put it in my diary I don't put it in my mouth!!
  • My wife never supports me. Infact she wants to know why I want to lose weight. Suspicious I guess. Yet she does slimming world. And I always give her motivation.
  • medicrenee
    medicrenee Posts: 58 Member
    Mine is loving and doesn't pressure me either way, which is not supportive. He compares to me only because he is trying to loose weight and he doesn't work out. I wish he would though because in inspires me to. I guess everyone has their way. I just try to make mine healthy. I am thankful for the support I get with mfp
  • Davelh1976
    Davelh1976 Posts: 140 Member
    I could not do it without her.
  • Sophie983
    Sophie983 Posts: 119 Member
    I am very lucky, because my partner is very supportive. He is great! He always says that I look gorgeous just the way I am, but he understands that I need to do this for myself.
    He is underweight. I suggested mfp to him, but he said that he doesn't have time for this. :) We all know that excuse :)
  • dcdickerson2
    dcdickerson2 Posts: 65 Member
    My husband is pretty good about congratulating me and offering moral encouragement. But he insists that there be "husband food" (aka CRAP) around all of the time! There are cookies in our living room for him at all times!

    The best I've been able to figure out so far is to just by the "husband food" I find disgusting, which is hard to find when you're talking about cookies.

    My most successful strategy here and for any of the times you come into contact with all those would-be "forbidden" and 'trigger" foods is to remember this: If it is a food readily available in the grocery store, you can have that food anytime, so skipping it is not a big deal. Save your "splurge" for something you can't get everyday, like a seldom made but really awesome homemade baked good. (Yours or someone else's). Good luck!
  • BeanyFrog13
    BeanyFrog13 Posts: 161 Member
    My fiance is very supportive, he's always said that he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what but I think he's noticed a change in my confidence since I started to lose weight which he likes :) Food-wise he's usually a lot better at keeping off the junk than me, pointing out that I've already snacked and so do I *really* need that as well? :D He's a great motivator and a great cook and is always up for replacing things with salad to make it better! He started on a health kick at the same time as I did so we're losing weight together. Looking through the posts here I realise that I'm very lucky and have been taking his support a bit for granted! Time to thank him I think!

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  • My situation is different because my husand works away from home for 3 weeks & then is home for a week. When he is here, he really helps by preparing meals and checking the nutrition info for me. He is very supportive! HOWEVER, when he leaves for work (like he did this morning) I self-destruct.:sad: I'm an emotional eater. I need to overcome & control MY sadness & anxiety when he's gone so I dont set myself back with my goals! Its frustrating but at least I know where my struggles are, I just need to be able to re-route my emotions in a positive direction~Like at the gym:smile:
  • vacherin
    vacherin Posts: 192
    My husband can be my best support and also my worst enemy. He is very positive about my exercising, yet he has some quite weird ideas about food e.g. thinking dousing everything in sight with olive oil is a good thing because olive oil is good for you. He is also a massive drinker which is the worst thing for me as I am trying to go without alcohol until mid Oct. We always have alcohol in the house and he drinks huge amounts, most nights. In fact, he's cooking me a nice healthy bean stew for dinner right now ... but is glugging back the Hoegarden at the same time!
  • dcdickerson2
    dcdickerson2 Posts: 65 Member
    :cry: i hate to say it but my boyfriend is a bit of hindrance we are on the oppisate ends of the diet /weight scale he is 5'11 146 lbs and he has the metabolism that we would pretty much all kill for. He is supportive of my weight loss he will tell me good job, occasiaonaly i can drag him to the gym and he will lift weights while i do my cardio. the issue is when i ask him to help me by not eating bad food he says " youre the one trying to lose wight not me " and all he eats is burgerking, hot dogs, pizza , cake etc and he dosent gain an inch! its maddening his whole family is like that im the fat girl in a sea of people with perfect bodies. It gives my already six feet under self esteem another kick

    Even though your boyfriend is not trying to lose weight, you could nudge him about the quality of the food he is eating. He will develop health issues if all he does is eat foods high in saturated fats and cholesterol, and he may be shorting himself on other nutrients. Vegetables and whole grains are just as important for him as for you. It's just that he can have larger portions and occasionally supplement with something extra.
  • a_robinson86
    a_robinson86 Posts: 55 Member
    My husband is VERY supportive, often a bit too supportive! lol I like to have a treat every so often (as most of you probably do) but he makes me feel guilty about that, even if it's been a few weeks since I last ate something naughty. He say's he's just trying to be 'helpful'! he makes me feel really fat though when he's like that with me because it makes me think he's thinking "isn't she fat enough without eating that?!" I know he probably doesn't think that and he just wants me to succeed in my diet, but when you have zero self confidence you can't really help but feel that way!
    Apart from that he is very good, if he wants something he'll sit in the other room and eat it so I don't have to see or smell it, he encourages me to carry on with my diet and exercise every day, he celebrates with me when I lose weight and he compliments me when he notices a change in my appearance. Yeah he's a real sweetheart really! :heart:
  • dcdickerson2
    dcdickerson2 Posts: 65 Member
    My situation is different because my husand works away from home for 3 weeks & then is home for a week. When he is here, he really helps by preparing meals and checking the nutrition info for me. He is very supportive! HOWEVER, when he leaves for work (like he did this morning) I self-destruct.:sad: I'm an emotional eater. I need to overcome & control MY sadness & anxiety when he's gone so I dont set myself back with my goals! Its frustrating but at least I know where my struggles are, I just need to be able to re-route my emotions in a positive direction~Like at the gym:smile:

    I'm in a similar situation as I have reconnected with the father of my children (my "X"), but he lives out of town. I'm actually quite good when with him, and he is VERY supportive (he also does NOT have a weight problem... grrr!), but lately I've been self-destructing as soon as I get back home and am by myself in the house. I'm working on this issue. It is definitely an emotional thing.
  • harleygirlT
    harleygirlT Posts: 223 Member
    I have been married for 33 years! My husband loves me no matter my weight and I have been all over the board but he is always supportive of whatever I am doing! He is the best! I could not ask for a better life partner/soulmate!
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
    Motivating... but not in a good way.

    We have had so many arguements in the past, over his eating habits and choices, and as i predicted/warned him, sure enough he developed type 2 diabetes a few years ago. Doing so should have finally gotten through to him that he needed to take control of his own food choices, (since he also has high blood pressure, bad knees, sore feet, kidney stones every 6 months, acid reflux, blocked arteries/stent put in, etc etc.. all the weight related issues you can think of).
    Did it? nope... he still eats badly for the most part.. and yes, he influenced me to start eating badly again back when he and i first met 12 years ago, (at that time i was doing well eating healthy and losing weight).

    So.. i simply got tired of the arguements about what he was eating *L*... and basically told him he could commit suicide with food if he wanted, but i was no longer going to let his choices influence mine anymore.. yes indeed, i finally took responsibiliy for myself again, despite him *L*

    He has spent alot of time since then (this last year) complaining whenever i talk about my pleasure in eating healthy, or point out something interesting i've learned about possible food choices, or tried something new as a recipe.

    I ignored his complaints *L*
    I kept doing as i know i needed to for myself, and since i do all the grocery shopping and cooking, the bad choices he was making were totally his to control.

    Thankfully, he eventually stopped complaining about my talking about my pleasure over food choices i was making, but he just buys himself big bags of junk food and hides them in his truck (thinking that means i don't know about them, not to prevent me from wanting them *L*).

    In the last month he has seemed to be making one or two changes... taking veg in his lunches for work for example *L*. i dare not mention i have noticed this as if i do he will stop taking them. Yes, he is that difficult.

    i think that once he saw how serious i was, how nothing he said or did changed the choices i made, or the pleasure i was getting out of my own improving health, and how many compliments i was getting from others (never him) he is finally, slowly, starting to 'almost' sound supportive.. at times *L*

    Now he does not roll his eyes when i mention a new food i've tried and loved... in fact lately he has even been willing to taste it first before announcing he won't eat it *L* For him that is a major step forward *L*

    The most recent accomplishment for him was giving in and actually tasting the no salt, no sugar added 'almond butter' i got. He surprised himself by liking it, and surprised me by actually admitting he did *LOL*

    Old dogs (though he is 9 years younger than i am) can learn new tricks afterall! woohoo!
  • JustLindaLou
    JustLindaLou Posts: 376 Member
    I am no longer married, but when I was, hubby was more of a hindrance than a help... I gained 60 lbs in the time we were married. Weight loss attempts were always oh yeah we'll do it together, but while I planned the menus and spent hours cutting up veggies and portioning out foods, he was off at the gym.... When I would need him to watch the kiddo so I could maybe just go for a walk, it was b*tch b*tch b*tch. He would also consume a weeks worth of those cut up veggies at a sitting, rather than recognizing those were to be snacks for both of us for the week. No understanding of nutrition whatsoever, and no desire to learn so he could share in the challenge of healthy meal planning and learn about portion control, balanced nutrition, etc. It was up to me to do all the work and then it would be so discouraging, he would drop weight so quickly (because of course he was the one making sure HE got to the gym) and it just got so frustrating....
  • cowgirlslikeus86
    cowgirlslikeus86 Posts: 597 Member
    My husband has been very supportive. ALTHOUGH....I started running again this week and training for a half marathon. My husband started poo-pooing lastnight on my use of MFP. I think he is worried I am leaving him behind. I told him that I have loved the support he has given me and I would love for him to start training with me and get an account too, if he wanted. I think it really helped put it into perspective for him.

    One thing about "The spouse" is that if they are anything but super healthy, marathon runners or powerlifters, they will tend to have some mixed emotions on your sucess. They dont want you to pass them up and leave them in the dust. If they are skinny and have a high metabolisim, they probably wish they could gain muscle better. If they are overweight or have a beer gut, though they may "act" complacent, they probably really do have some sort of complex problem. Men just are better at hiding it than us girls.

    I have totally changed what we buy at the grocery store. I am really creative with seasoning so our healthier options actually tast really yummy. My husband hasn't complained at all....Well, except for the 269$ grocery bill last time....there is just two of us lol!!!
    We buy his and hers Ice cream. His has 200 cal per serving and mine has 90. We buy Stacys' pita chips and ill have 6 or 10 while he eats the rest of the bag:) I also buy his cheese and my cheese. If I am making a meal I will seperate out stuff to only put on his. It makes it really easy for him to eat more of what he likes ( and can afforde to eat) but doesnt require me to make him a totally seperate meal.
  • vguynes
    vguynes Posts: 753 Member
    My husband (the fit P.E. teacher) is very supportive of my weight-loss efforts. He has NEVER complained about my weight, and he encourges me to workout (either with him or on my own). He celebrates my weight-loss accomplishments and makes me feel better about the times when I gain a little weight. I do the shopping, so the only way "junk food" comes into the house is through me (the weak one). He is the BEST!
  • MummyOfSeven
    MummyOfSeven Posts: 314 Member
    I really can't complain.

    He supports me in my weight loss goal. He even joined the gym with me because I really didn't want to go alone.

    If he cooks a meal, which if often, he notes down exactly what he's cooked and how much so that I can log it all.

    I weigh myself every Friday morning on the Wii board. If I'm feeling low, he coaxes me into weighing myself. If I end up gaining, he knows just what to say. If I lose weight, he congratulates me and says, "I knew you could do it."

    More important than anything else, he has faith in me when I have none in myself :heart:
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    Neither....my weight loss journey doesn't involve him. He has been very supportive. But this is all me!
  • piercedanatomy
    piercedanatomy Posts: 28 Member
    both. he is supportive in the sense that he's sensitive to what i want to eat, encourages me to take walks with him and stuff...but then can eat like a giant bowl of spaghetti and not gain a pound. or, he'll want to make a cake or cupcakes or something, and i just can't have that stuff around!


    Mine is exactly the same. He is 6'4" and weighs less than me at 5'1.5". I secretly was pleased when he started gaining a few pounds the other month because of having to eat like crap all the time while on a trip for a class. I wanted to say ha ha that's what you get but I'm not that mean, lol.
  • nikkilou1978
    nikkilou1978 Posts: 146 Member
    My husband is supportive of me. But refuses to even try the things that I eat. I have to cook something completely different for him. Yesterday I had a burger made from lean beef and ground chicken on a wheat bun, which was yummy btw. He ate an entire box of bacon ranch suddenly salad pasta, which includes 1/2 cup of mayonnaise.:noway: :noway:

    It makes it more difficult for me, but it helps me see what I don't want to be eating.