Skinny Boyfriend vs. Chunky Girlfriends

Oof! My boyfriend of 6 years is 5'4" and 115 pounds soaking wet... I win!

Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.

My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.

I used to be in the same boat. My husabnd is 6'4 and when I met him was 120lbs (had medical issues due to low weight, but couldn't gain a pound) and I was 170 (my lowest adult weight and the result of a recent loss of about 30 pounds). I was super supportive of his need to gain the weight and ate right along with him until Jan of 2007 when we were both at our heaviest (290 each).

Just be careful of being too supportive. You get into bad habits and 10 years later both regret the decisions you made. We're both supportive of each other now (but he still gets to eat more than I do, you know, being a man and more than 6 inches taller than me. Even though I now weigh less than him, I look significantly more obese than he does. We went to a doctor a month ago and she was shocked that he was classified as obese...GRRRRRR

The one thing I know is the supportive doesn't mean eating the same way. It's as unhealthy for someone who should be maintaining to eat the same way as someone losing as it is for someone losing to eat the same way to maintain. I make sure to pack a little something extra with his lunch, give him a slightly larger portion than me. AND I have to be okay with doing it....even if it is frustrating....life ain't fair.

I think a lot of guys want a girl that isn't slim and good looking because it makes them feel safe.

i very much doubt this is the reason my boyfriend is dating me. ouch

I know that feeling! My now hubby weighed MAYBE 100(grade school where we met) and 120-130soaking wet throughout highschool and I was 130 (GS) and 180ish around senior year. He also said the same, which meant I could eat whatever and he'd love me, bad way of thinking, thus the reason I'm here... I've finally decided to change my life and most of my 'girl'friends are only online, I have 2, maybe 3 girls in real life I can call friends, so finding this website was extremely helpful for me. I have met some wonderful friends on here. So much support and motivation. Sending a friend request your way

Oh, and now my hubby weighs about 230, and I can officially say I FINALLY weigh less than him

ya Nick.

Hey, coming from a guys perspective, I can honestly tell you it's no big deal to us. When it's just the guys, I've never heard anybody say, "I wish my girl would lose some weight". A guy normally won't over examine what we consider smaller issues, that our women may look at as bigger issues. Myself or any other guy I know, would be more apt to take this subject at face value and think, hey, he must care about her or he wouldn't be with her, instead of "Joe, your girls bigger than you man, whassup?" That would be very rude. Give your men props for not being shallow and for caring about you for who you are.

My wife doesn't get into the "exercise thing" like I do. Its just not her thing. She carries a little extra but, really, when I tell her I love her no matter what, I don't mean I love her no matter how much weight she gains, lol. Sometimes you ladies read things into what we say, that we do not mean. You're a lot more complex than we are, so take what we say a little more positive and realize we're happy with you, no matter what and all we really want is for you to be happy too.
I know some very attractive women who are a little taller, a little heavier than their mates but it's their attitudes, confidence and personality that makes them so attractive, not their dress size. If one is bummed out with the way they look and lacks confidence, people spot it like the plague. Be happy with who you are, that's sexy.
If you think you should drop 20lbs, do it for you, not what you think people think about you. If any man left his woman because she put on a few pounds, I'd have no respect for that guy at all.

I, too, have to thank you for that, sir. Very well said.

P.S. My boyfriend sits on his butt all day and smokes cigarettes. His 5K calories are not being burned off by diet control OR exercise, I can guarantee you that. And please try not to be so harsh... Coming into a motivational thread and slamming everyone about how they are starving themselves just isn't the kind of support I am looking for.

While my husband isn't on his butt all day (he's a professional caddie, so he does get some walking miles in every day), he smokes and eats like total garbage! I seriously believe he survives on Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, Coca Cola, McDonald's and Burger King, and he'll eat a huge pasta type meal (that I cook for him) at night. The amount of sugar he eats is absolutely ridiculous (I made him do a MFP entry one day and he was over on sugar by 300+ grams!), but he's skinny as a rail. I have no idea how his body doesn't just crash and burn on him the way he fuels it.

Yeah, with flaming red hair and a personality to match... I am hardly his "safe girl". :smokin:

hahahah! i love this, you tell them!

My SO is a former skinny dude who could eat anything and not gain any weight. He's put on a fair amount of weight in his late 20s and now has to watch what he eats. When I first started dating him, he was way more lax about what he ate and kept around the house. Now, eh.... not so much.

I think eventually some of the skinny dudes' habits may very well catch up with them, unfortunately!

My BF is ex-football player with lifter's build and can lose weight in 3-4 weeks with his job (it's physical and outside). He's always been so sweet, playing up my looks, my eyes, and my charm. When I do work out, I get home to all sorts of kudos and encouragement. Doesn't help that HIS dad is an amazing chef! We have to stop going over there!

I can definitely relate. My boyfriend is actually at my goal weight, 5'10, and about 12% body fat. We must look very strange together.

Glad to know I'm not the only one out there with this issue.... A great man who loves me to death, who just happens to under-weigh.... ha ha. My boyfriend is a huge inspiration to me- I don't think I would be as invested in getting into better shape if I didn't have an "after" inspiration walking along with me eveywhere I go. He loves me, and is constantly reminding me how much he loves my curves- but I'm still insecure that my booty is twice as wide as his! :ohwell: We have TOTALLY opposite body types... but opposites attract! I'm just happy to have a forum here where I can relate to so many strangers who have the same "problem" as me! Thanks everybody for sharing! Add me as a friend if you want some support! xo

i have this too, my boyfriend eats alot of pushes food on me alot when hes trying to "treat" me xxx

I have the same issue. My husband isn't exactly stick figure, but he tells me all the time how great I look already and that I shouldn't be losing any weight. Some may say that I should do as he says because I have no one to impress but him... however I just think of my health and my happiness - and that is what motivates me. I know he loves me now, but I think he'll love me more just a bit slimmer... and healthier.