My man deployed this morning.......

arr0528
arr0528 Posts: 119 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
So I am posting this topic because I watched my fiance walk down the long pier and board his ship. I won't see him until right before our wedding. I keep thinking that after I get home, the house is going to be silent and empty and all I will want to do is raid the cupboards and eat until I feel better..... (that's what I used to do)........ My goal is to lose 20 pounds before our wedding so that I am healthy and look good for when he comes and also look good in my wedding dress. I am just sad and looking for support so that I don't go home and do what I have always done when he leaves........

I know it's going to be hard but I keep telling myself I can do it.
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Replies

  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
    Oh honey, big hugs for you!

    You have new motivation now! I know this is a sad moment, but use this time to suprise him, and most of all to know that you've beaten the sadness, not with food, but with feirce determination and pride in yourself :)

    You got this girl, and let me say thank you for you and your future husband's service :)

    Add me if you like
  • arr0528
    arr0528 Posts: 119 Member
    Thank you so much, your post is so very nice!! I want him to see the new healthy me and think "DAMN!"
  • snowfox92
    snowfox92 Posts: 100 Member
    When is he coming back?
  • Jenny_Bee
    Jenny_Bee Posts: 102
    We are here to help, and support you. You can do this. xoxo
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Aw! Thank you both so much for the sacrifices you are making for our country. Don't be sad... swing by the gym on the way home and work all those feelings out. That is the best advice I can offer. If you wear yourself out, then maybe you will just go home and sleep.
  • Mrsairforce
    Mrsairforce Posts: 130
    Girl you can do this!!
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    You can do it. You are obviously a strong woman. I'm sure it will be lonely at home, but don't just eat. Here are some things I do to cope: clean, exercise and sometimes I just put in a favorite album and cry along with the sad songs for as long as it takes to get the sad out. I highly recommend the latter, it is good for the soul to get it out. Your heart is always aching, just let it pour out.

    Just remembered there are lots of people who care, and someone special who loves you. You are lucky.
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
    Navy? I've been a navy wife for seven years this April. I know how that is, sweetie. My husband was chosen for IA and is leaving for a year in Afghanistan. I always use deployments as motivation to get smokin' for when he returns.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    I feel so terrible for service men and women and their families. It truly breaks my heart. Your (future) husband is off doing something that takes great bravery and skills, which many cannot do or do not have. For that I am thankful.

    Now, it is going to take bravery and determination to get to your goal and surprise the heck out of your man. Just keep picturing yourself at your goal weight/ size and you can do it!

    I wish you both the best of luck.

    On a side note, this post has seriously made me tear up. I don't know how you women can be so strong. I don't know what I would do if my fiancé chose to join the military.
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
    Sending loving vibes to both you & your husband! You can do this. The food won't bring him back any sooner, but throwing yourself into re-shaping you will make the time pass a little easier knowing you're working on something BIG!
  • jenlarz
    jenlarz Posts: 813 Member
    May God bless you and your fiance while he is gone. I have so much respect for people in the military and their support at home! Best wishes for you to meet your goals and stay on track.
  • ChgingMe
    ChgingMe Posts: 539 Member
    Aww sweetie I completely understand. My husband deploys end of March for the desert. I've been going through this off and on for about 25 years. Its hard each time he leaves. Once the kids come it is even harder. Hang in there though. How long is he gonna be gone for? Keep reminding yourself that you want him to see that hot body of yours when he finally walks down that pier on his way back to you. Keep that in your mind. Instead of eating try to exercise your time away...

    You can do this.
  • usafbeach
    usafbeach Posts: 147 Member
    I want him to see the new healthy me and think "DAMN!"

    I know a lot of military wives use the time their husband's are away to get in shape... when you start to miss him, try using those emotions to pump up your workouts and motivate you!
  • oOLiveYourLifeOo
    oOLiveYourLifeOo Posts: 76
    So I am posting this topic because I watched my fiance walk down the long pier and board his ship. I won't see him until right before our wedding. I keep thinking that after I get home, the house is going to be silent and empty and all I will want to do is raid the cupboards and eat until I feel better..... (that's what I used to do)........ My goal is to lose 20 pounds before our wedding so that I am healthy and look good for when he comes and also look good in my wedding dress. I am just sad and looking for support so that I don't go home and do what I have always done when he leaves........

    I know it's going to be hard but I keep telling myself I can do it.

    Hun, I know how you feel. My fiance left almost a month ago and dropping him off for bag drag was the most difficult day of my life! All I wanted to do the entire drive home was turn around and go back to the base and find him, but I knew I couldn't and I have to be strong. He is a Seabee, so he is the boots on ground type of Sailor and he is currently deployed to Afghanistan for the next 6-7 months. If you need to talk or anything, feel free to message me!
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    <~~~~~
  • tootsanderson
    tootsanderson Posts: 1,636 Member
    my sympathies. my husband left two weeks ago. but this time it's just a TDY for training and not a deployment. he'll be back in march. but he's been to the middle east many times. including leaving when i was six months pregnant TWICE and coming back when our son was five weeks old and our daughter was four months old. so i really do understand your pain. sometimes it sucks to be married to military but you get through somehow. it isn't just for anyone, that's for sure. takes a very strong family.
  • arr0528
    arr0528 Posts: 119 Member
    I am truly touched by all of your support!!! Thank you so much for your kind words!! I want to be smokin' hot for when he gets back and when I walk down the aisle!!

    He's in the Coast Guard so he leaves a lot more frequently for a few months at a time....... Just when he leaves and I get used to him being gone, he comes home and then when I get used to him being home, he leaves again......... He's doing what he loves though and I am proud of him, I will always be proud to be a military spouse......

    Thank you to the ladies that have replied and are also military spouses. We are the Silent Ranks. Thank you for your spouse and your service.
  • lovinlife71
    lovinlife71 Posts: 230
    YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • richmondcowgirl
    richmondcowgirl Posts: 137 Member
    As a base brat I totally understand where you are coming from. Majority of my relationships are with military men (mostly navy). Its one of the hardest things to go thru right now but stay on track hun. Ild say use it to push harder. He's out there working hard to make your life better. Work hard to give him something better, a better you, a hotter you, and a healthier you. The transformation you make while he's gone will mean so much to him. Not to mention DO THIS FOR YOU, you now have the time to focus on you. You want to look hot in that dress. Make it happen for You!

    Congrats on finding one of the good guys, do great.
  • KrisLee223
    KrisLee223 Posts: 27 Member
    My husband deployed in December, and I'm trying to do the same and lose some weight while he is gone. Don't eat!!! It will just make you feel worse after the fact. When I'm craving junk, I try to picture the reunion and how I want to look and FEEL about myself when he comes home. Being smokin hot and FEELING smokin hot is definitely motivation to make it happen!! Good luck to you...try to stay positive and turn this time apart into something good!! YOU CAN DO IT!
  • STurbs33
    STurbs33 Posts: 134 Member
    I don't entirely understand what you're going through because my boyfriend has yet to be deployed anywhere. However, I do know what it's like to go without seeing him for weeks at a time. Use your sadness as a motivation to work out even harder. I find that if I'm just sitting around thinking about him, I miss him more, get more sad and am more likely to eat or just be lazy and sulk. But if I go work out or do anything active, I'm not as focused on how much I miss him and in the process, I'm doing something that's beneficial for me.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    I'm so sorry. praying for you and your fiance! I have never dated a soldier but have had a lot of friends in the military and I know how hard it can be on the both of you... feel free to add me for support if you would like.
  • ezramedic
    ezramedic Posts: 119
    Navy? I've been a navy wife for seven years this April. I know how that is, sweetie. My husband was chosen for IA and is leaving for a year in Afghanistan. I always use deployments as motivation to get smokin' for when he returns.

    Ditto! My husband is Navy, too & we've gone through multiple IA deployments to Afghanistan. (BOO!)

    I use it as a selfish time to work on myself. I take night classes (whatever I want, pottery, yoga, etc) as well as work on organising myself, etc.

    I also try and put a positive spin on it. If you're home alone, you can watch whatever trash you want on tv, you can lay in the bath with a book until you're a prune, or whatever YOU want to do. Lucky you, right?

    At least, that is what works for me.
  • willnorton
    willnorton Posts: 995 Member
    God bless him and


    God bless America....


    he is the superhero of today!

    you thank him for me please

    God be with you...

    Lt Bill Norton (ret.)
  • liroez29
    liroez29 Posts: 221
    Aw! Thank you both so much for the sacrifices you are making for our country. Don't be sad... swing by the gym on the way home and work all those feelings out. That is the best advice I can offer. If you wear yourself out, then maybe you will just go home and sleep.


    I agree with this, hit the gym instead. Burn off the anxiety, and just keep thinking about him coming home and like you said, lookin and at you and saying "DAMN!". I feel for you girl. You are strong though and you and do it! Say no to food as a comfort! Thank you for you and your soon to be husband's service! I am truly grateful! Good luck to you!
  • brighteyesxluv
    brighteyesxluv Posts: 334 Member
    awwww. i wish i could hug you!!...we don't have the same situation but, my fiancee and i have had a long distance relationship for 2 years. he's hopefully moving in soon. but everytime he would leave after being here for a couple weeks or month or so, i would eat. until i thought i was going to puke. so i somewhat know where you are coming from, but i understand at the same time that it is SOO much different. though you have a lot more stress i bet, the wedding, and having him gone. i'll definitely add you as a friend :) you can do this. you'll be so absolutely proud of yourself. and it'll be your wedding...how exciting!!! pure bliss :)
  • arr0528
    arr0528 Posts: 119 Member
    Again, thank you all!!

    Because of the support I have been getting, I decided to start a group on here for support. It's called Healthy Military Spouses!! Search for that and it's public to join! I think it would be great to support eachother through the crazy weight loss journey and the crazy military life!!!
  • Glovesave3373
    Glovesave3373 Posts: 92 Member
    Congrats on the wedding and you can do this... this is the time when will power is going to be tested over and over if you are going to marry a sailor. You have friends here on MFP to help you through it.... as long as you are honest with yourself. NOW LETS GO TO THE GYM OR OUTSIDE FOR A WALK INSTEAD OF IN THE KITCHEN.... YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    Thank God for the men and women that protect our freedoms, and their families that are waiting back home.

    Thank you!. I wish you the very best!
  • arr0528
    arr0528 Posts: 119 Member
    awwww. i wish i could hug you!!...we don't have the same situation but, my fiancee and i have had a long distance relationship for 2 years. he's hopefully moving in soon. but everytime he would leave after being here for a couple weeks or month or so, i would eat. until i thought i was going to puke. so i somewhat know where you are coming from, but i understand at the same time that it is SOO much different. though you have a lot more stress i bet, the wedding, and having him gone. i'll definitely add you as a friend :) you can do this. you'll be so absolutely proud of yourself. and it'll be your wedding...how exciting!!! pure bliss :)

    Thank you so much! Our first 3 years together was long distance...... It definitely sucks! You can definitely add me!
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