Awkward starving day with the inlaws yesterday:(
shamrockbride
Posts: 16
Yesterday, we went to visit 3 different inlaws in 3 different cities. I started the day with a VI shake and the plan was to go out for lunch in one of the cities and then go to my Mother in laws for dinner. We arrived at house #1 about 2 hours after drinking my shake and we stayed there about 2 hours. About an hour in, I started to get hungry. We were offered a huge platter of cookies from Subway to snack on. This relative is battling cancer and having a really rough time. I said no thank you to the cookies and left it at that. When we left, my husband and I both were hungry and headed for the next town looking very forward to going out for lunch. We arrove at house #2 just over an hour later, so now it is 5 hours since I had anything to eat. We walked in to find this relative laying in bed (this relative also just got over cancer and is in an assisted living building). She quickly got up, but was not up for going for lunch:( She then offered up some cheezies, chips, cookies and crackers. Again, I just couldn't bring myself to eat this food. We stayed there for 2 hours. Upon leaving, my 6 month old started melting down and had a MAJOR screaming fit. We struggled to the car and headed to house #3. I was so starving that I was shaking! We arrove at house #3 about an hour an a half later...now its been 9 hours since eating and I just feel sick. This was my Mother in Laws house and she was just making dinner. We both said we were famished, but she said don't eat, dinner is almost ready........an hour later and our dinner was finally done.....It was breaded pork chops covered in gravy, giant home fries, scalloped potatoes and a small amount of broccoli....not exactly the kind of food I have been eating. I took one chop, 3 fries and as much broccoli I could without looking like an idiot. I ate up and was definatly still starving after the meal.....not a nice feeling:( Everyone including my husband in this family are naturally thin and when I mentioned that I had lost 42 pounds and was dieting they all didn't really react. They don't get it...In fact, when I said no to a Pepsi their comment was" one pepsi isn't gonna make a difference" It was pretty frustrating and I am very Thankful to have MFP to vent!!
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Replies
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Always be prepared! I usually have a protein bar or a scoop of protein powder in a small container just in case. Just an idea for the future
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I would have been ALL OVER my mother in law's dinner! It sounds fabulous!
My mother in law doesn't cook though, she likes me to cook for her instead lol. It's not like it's every day. You should have just enjoyed dinner (in moderation) at mom in law's.
When i'm at a relative's house, (which is very rare but anyway) I try to eat in moderation but I don't mention that i'm trying to lose weight or anything. I just try to be polite and find something to eat out of whatever's offered. (If it's a homecooked meal you can bet I would enjoy it.) I don't like to bring attention to myself by talking about trying to lose weight and stuff. It makes me feel awkward. Not all people feel that way though...after losing 42 pounds i'm sure you are really proud and want to share. :flowerforyou: Next time you all have a long day planned out of the house maybe you could take some healthy snacks in a small cooler in the car just in case. 0 -
Ugh, that's rough! That kind of stuff happens to me every time I go to my mom's. I'm learning I just need to pack a snack or two, also. It also pisses me off when people think I'm staving myself on purpose just b.c I don't want the fried foods and sweets.0
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Throw a granola bar or a protein shake in your bag. I would have taken a cookie and a few crackers. It's all about moderation after all, right. You were probably way under your calorie goal for the day and a cookie or two wouldn't have hurt. Or even an extra delcious sounding home fry!0
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Most families don't understand it. They are ashamed of themselves as well.0
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It's called life! It's a good idea to pack snacks like a protein bar or fruit, but mom-in-law's dinner would not have done any damage if you just ate until you were satisfied and not hungry anymore...You spend the whole day without any calories going in, and you will definitely not pick up any weight if you just ate until you were satisfied.....
please be carefull to not damage yourself by being afraid of food....
And I tend to agree with them, one Pepsi was NOT going to make a difference here....0 -
I would have eaten the food offered by #2. And if not, I would have stopped for food after leaving there. One meal of junk food is not going to hinder your weight loss, and it's a lot better than feeling sick.
And since you didn't eat anything all day, I really don't know why you didn't eat plenty of food at #3. I'm sure you had the calories left for it.0 -
I totally understand. I definitely have the same problem with some of my in-laws, and even my own family! I follow the South Beach plan, and it works really well for me. I also would not have been partaking of any of those things you were offered and refused - including the breaded chops! I've survived several awkward moments as a result, but every time stand my ground. My health and weight-loss is just that important to me - and yes, even one day and even one Pepsi does not feel worth it to me! As others have suggested, I have learned to pack some appropriate snacks whenever we visit them - nuts, protein bar, fruit that does not need refrigerated. I also always offer to bring a side so that I know there will be SOMETHING there I can eat - even if we just stop and pick up a veggie tray at the store on the way! Also, most gas stations, while loaded with crappy snacks, often carry some kind of protein bar, or skim milk, or even jerky that wouldn't be terrible to consume. Certainly better than cookies!0
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You have lots of will power!! keep up the good work :happy:0
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I keep a handful of natural almonds in the car.....or I throw a 100 calorie snack in my purse to just to hold me over.0
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And I tend to agree with them, one Pepsi was NOT going to make a difference here....
Well it depends. No, one pepsi isn't going to make a huge difference. Unless you're like me, and you have almost a literal addiction to soda. One coke *will* cause me to fall of the wagon. One coke will lead to another and the next thing I know I'm drinking it every day. I know that there are "bad" foods thatI can still eat once in awhile and be fine, but sugared soda is not one of them. It's a very slippery slope for me, so it might be that way for the OP as well.0 -
Sounds like a rough day - generally I keep a protein bar or some sort of snack in my purse. You never know when/where you'll get held up!0
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I agree with everyone above...............don't make yourself sick.............just eat, say thanks and be on your way.......most people don't care if we lose weight and most will try to hinder the weight loss............good luck to you for next time:bigsmile:0
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I was hungry just reading this!!! I get so crabby when I don't eat!! I think you handle the situation well 0
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As far as denying food that someone offers, it's all about choosing your battles. Is it worth it to come off as rude or starting drama?
I don't expect anyone to care that I'm trying to lose weight. Doing so, and then not getting the reaction you want, will only cause disappointment. Plan ahead next time, or eat what you can. One day of not eating ideally (including a Pepsi) is not going to undo months of work.0 -
OK..... I'm going to be the mean one here.... but with all the "driving time".... If i was that STARVING I would have hit a grocery store, a conveneince store or even a gas station .... I'm sorry I just can't see why you didn't think of that 0 -
I totally understand! When I go to my dads house everything is fried, covered in gravy and not good for you. I have learned to pack what I need to eat. Just keep healthly snacks available all the time so that you don't derail. I am much like you... I would rather go without than have something that is not good for you! Next time you will be ready!0
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I hope you let your son have some snacks along the way!!0
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Oh man, that is so awful! I've been there, too, with the politely refusing cookies and soda and eating ALL THE VEGETABLES as soon as they're served. It is tough, especially with family and while traveling, but try to keep a snack handy that will keep you from shaking and that you won't feel bad about eating! It's better to have something in your stomach than to press your willpower so far. I've done 40 lbs too, and I've found Kashi's TLC bars, especially the honey almond flax, were just enough to keep me going and didn't wreck my calorie count for the day.
Best of luck, and hope today is much much happier for you!0 -
You do have a lot of willpower and I applaud your efforts. However, I don't think you were doing yourself any favors by not eating anything that was offered to you. A cookie or a few crackers at houses 1 and 2 wouldn't completely undo your diet and would have helped with the feeling sick.
I completely hear you on the in-law food thing, though. My MIL cooks like that ALL THE TIME, but none of them are naturally thin...anyway, I try just to make room for that when I know we are going and take sensible portions. It isn't always easy, and I don't always manage to eat as sensibly as I would like, but I'm trying.0 -
Aw that is a totally crappy day! I agree with other posters here about taking snacks. I can't even go to the park without packing carrot sticks, granola bars, a muffin, an apple haha My husband teases me about it but he's happy when he gets hungry and I have food. That sick shaky feeling from not eating is awful!
And relatives! haha well they usually mean well. My grandma is forever on a diet (but never really loses weight), when I go to her house she's usually like, "I made low fat trifle, and low fat gravy and mashed potatoes and chicken and and and..." I just smile and say it looks lovely. Eat a little and go back to my plan the next day.0 -
Sorry, don't have a huge amount of sympathy. Ok, I know to keep a snack bar (healthy one) in my purse at all times. You went from house to house to house without stopping anywhere for 15 min for some food? Who's fault is that? And having a small bit of bad food isn't going to kill you, however if your stomach can't handle it, you should have grabbed something. And I agree with some of the other posters, after an entire day with no food, you could have had a decent portion of pretty much everything at dinner and still be under your calories. Don't kill yourself for worrying. So maybe you go over one day, it is not the end of the world!0
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Thanks for the replies. First of all, my son ate all day because I did pack food for him. Second, I am not eating sugar so one pepsi would have not been good for me at all. I had Gestational Diabetes 6 months ago and have not eaten much sugar for about a year. I did not rudely refuse the food. The plates were put out and I did not take anything from them. We did have a plan to go out for lunch, which failed so I definatly learned something here. I will pack snacks. As for stopping at the store. We were in the middle of nowhere, and when we left house #2 my son was screaming so stopping at a store was just not in cards. Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback and for those negative comments, I think the old saying of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it! Especially on a support group board! good lord:P0
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Infants usually eat every 2-3 hours. He was probably hungry. I'm 29 and I still throw fits when I'm hungry, so I can't say I blame him.0
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Yes, god forbid folks provide some constructive criticism.Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback and for those negative comments, I think the old saying of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it! Especially on a support group board! good lord:P
Keep in mind that many replies were made without the benefit of the info omitted in the original post. :flowerforyou:0 -
OK..... I'm going to be the mean one here.... but with all the "driving time".... If i was that STARVING I would have hit a grocery store, a conveneince store or even a gas station .... I'm sorry I just can't see why you didn't think of that
This!
I always am prepared, even for long days running errands or at work, I take snacks and if I'm eating out I already have an idea of what I'm going to order. Even if it's on the fly, it's not that hard to figure out what would be the most food for my calorie "buck".
It's life, you just have to make the most of it, even in stressful or not ideal situations. But waiting that long until you're shaking and starving I think is worse compared to eating some cheese/crackers. Hell you probably would've been fine eating a really lavish dinner because I'm sure you were short on calories from starving all day.0 -
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Thanks for the replies. First of all, my son ate all day because I did pack food for him. Second, I am not eating sugar so one pepsi would have not been good for me at all. I had Gestational Diabetes 6 months ago and have not eaten much sugar for about a year. I did not rudely refuse the food. The plates were put out and I did not take anything from them. We did have a plan to go out for lunch, which failed so I definatly learned something here. I will pack snacks. As for stopping at the store. We were in the middle of nowhere, and when we left house #2 my son was screaming so stopping at a store was just not in cards. Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback and for those negative comments, I think the old saying of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it! Especially on a support group board! good lord:P
Next time, if your son is screaming, you could leave him in the car with dad and go in the store alone-or even just drag cranky baby with you if you have to for a quick run in and out When my littlest was born, I had 2 toddlers and an infant. I was a single mom with no car-if i had to go to the store for food, so be it. Luckily my kids were pretty good, but there were a couple of times I just had to deal with a cranky baby and/or toddler while I picked up some food for our household. It happens. It's nothing to stress about, though. :flowerforyou:
ETA: OP, I don't think anyone is trying to be "mean". I think there are genuine concerns over what is perceived as you seeing food as the "enemy"-as in, you were offered some food choices, but you chose to not eat at all because those food choices were not ideal. This is a lifestyle change and sometimes there are obstacles in our way-and we can't just expect everyone else to cater to us or plan their meals around our weight loss. We need to be equipped to make the best choices possible when faced with those situations-we can't just not eat every time something comes up.
FWIW, I wouldn't have had the Pepsi, either. I don't usually drink soda. I would have thoroughly enjoyed the dinner at your mom in law's though. There are so many older relatives in my family that are gone now and i'd love to sit down and enjoy one of their home cooked meals again. As others pointed out, after going so low cal for the day, mom in law's meal wouldn't have hurt you.0 -
I would have had one cookie - hold me to the next time - eye measure some of the snacks on the second house - and gone for 2 pork chops in the third house (knowing that protein at least for me is more fulfilling)... there is no possible way I would allow myself to feel sick because of what was being offered was not my choice.
I hear everyone complaining about someone else stating "one isn't going to hurt you" - truth is one isn't going to hurt you - not if you place it on your diary and counted for what it is. There is good fuel and there is bad fuel - but not fueling up at all is worse than the bad...0 -
Yes, god forbid folks provide some constructive criticism.Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback and for those negative comments, I think the old saying of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it! Especially on a support group board! good lord:P
Keep in mind that many replies were made without the benefit of the info omitted in the original post. :flowerforyou:
I agree. The day sucked, and hopefully you and everyone who reads this post will learn from it. Planning and snacks are good!
Personally, I wasn't being negative, I was being honest, I've always had trouble with hunger and I literally can't take not eating for X time and so thought you were being silly. Not negative, just honest.0
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