Does this count as communicating w/ your children?

You seem to really want everyone to be horrified that this would count as communication.

I'm sorry but I do believe that it does.

Besides - who are you to judge?

The Internet gives a sense of anonymity/pseudonymity that you can't get in a face-to-face conversation. This gives people more courage to say/do things they otherwise wouldn't normally do (this is a well-known and rather widely-studied phenomenon).

i don't believe in cyber-courage.

"Believe in" it or not, it doesn't change the fact that it's real. The sense of anonymity caused by the Internet triggers what's known as a "disinhibition effect," much like what alcohol does.

http://users.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/disinhibit.html

It counts. In a presentation I attended for work last week they were talking about "digital natives" which are basically people who have been born into this uber-digital world and grow up using the various media for communicating. For them there's nothing impersonal about a txt or facebook, nor is it a way to avoid "real" contact, it's an additional means of contact. To them they've just got a ton of ways to communicate with folks, parents included.

Yes, but I think the concern is more that the dependence on digital communication can result in a breakdown in the relationship between parent and child which could be devastating to the child's future. Can proper guidance really be deliverd through a text, an e-mail, an instant message, or an FB posting?

Considering how much more a teenager is willing to post on FB than tell a parent directly, yes, proper guidance can, at the very least, be started using these means. The first step in guidance is knowing what to guide them towards or away from. You can't do that if you're clueless to what your teen is actually doing. Things like FB can give you far more insight than trying to pry it out of them directly.

Can proper guidance really be deliverd through a text, an e-mail, an instant message, or an FB posting?
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YES it can!!! This mother is probably doing everything she can to be close to her child - the teenager more than likely is your AVERAGE teenager who is too cool to talk to thier parents. I was the same way. My parents were the LAST people, especially my mother, who I wanted to run and tell all my secrets to. it was my friends.

I give this mom a High five for sticking with it and doing what she can to try and keep the communication lines open. When the child is 20, I am sure they will start to come around.

Cripes.

Can proper guidance really be deliverd through a text, an e-mail, an instant message, or an FB posting?

YES it can!!! This mother is probably doing everything she can to be close to her child - the teenager more than likely is your AVERAGE teenager who is too cool to talk to thier parents. I was the same way. My parents were the LAST people, especially my mother, who I wanted to run and tell all my secrets to. it was my friends.

I give this mom a High five for sticking with it and doing what she can to try and keep the communication lines open. When the child is 20, I am sure they will start to come around.

Cripes.

First off, (just basing this off your profile pic) you don't seem old enough to be a parent or at least the parent of a teenager so you are even farther from relating to this issue than I am. Secondly, if you aren't willing to tell your parents something in person, then you are even less likely to tell them something by text because it is a less formal communication. There is the possibility that the teenager would be more likely to share something when they don't have to face their parent, but at the same time, you aren't really teaching children to face their fears or to accept accountability. I am not condemning the mother for using this form of communication. I text my daughter when she and I are not together so I can keep up with what she is doing, where she is, or what she might need, but I think it is sad if the most communication that this parent can hope to have is by digital means. She seriously has no control or influence over her child if she is dependent upon that.

It counts. In a presentation I attended for work last week they were talking about "digital natives" which are basically people who have been born into this uber-digital world and grow up using the various media for communicating. For them there's nothing impersonal about a txt or facebook, nor is it a way to avoid "real" contact, it's an additional means of contact. To them they've just got a ton of ways to communicate with folks, parents included.

Yes, but I think the concern is more that the dependence on digital communication can result in a breakdown in the relationship between parent and child which could be devastating to the child's future. Can proper guidance really be deliverd through a text, an e-mail, an instant message, or an FB posting?

Considering how much more a teenager is willing to post on FB than tell a parent directly, yes, proper guidance can, at the very least, be started using these means. The first step in guidance is knowing what to guide them towards or away from. You can't do that if you're clueless to what your teen is actually doing. Things like FB can give you far more insight than trying to pry it out of them directly.

lurking on your child's facebook and communicating with them are two different things. i see your point, but i think you are talking about apples and oranges.

But your friend does communicate with her kids, and "lurking" (that is, watching posts, but not responding to them) isn't that far off from simply sitting quietly and letting them talk.

"Communication" doesn't always have to be the parent sitting at a table with the kid, giving them a lecture on what to do or not do in a given situation. In fact, I'd say that that's even less "communication" than chatting via technology. Do you really think the teen is actually listening? Teens are quite adept at tuning out their parents (or any adult, for that matter) and looking like they're listening.

Knowing what your teen is actually doing is half the battle in raising them. From there, you can take whatever course of action you as the parent deems necessary.

Teens are also at the stage where they want to assert their independence, and have the means to do so, which makes them highly unlikely to talk with their parents by any means. Those today that lament about so-called "days gone by" where the family sat down at the table every day at 5pm and spent the rest of the evening talking are deluded about a romanticized past.

Those that grew up in the World War II era where known as "Latch-Key Kids," named for the after-school program that the vast majority of them spent their time in. Between one parent being deployed in the war, and the other working to support the family and/or the war, most of the kids even then, didn't see their parents on any kind of regular basis, and this was during what many see as a "golden age" of family time. Do you really think they did a lot of "communicating" with each other?

The OP doesn't say (unless I missed it) that electronic communication is the only communication going on. I absolutely use texting, email, FB in communicating with my 17 yo. And this has contributed to better communication in other areas. We definitely do face to face...and he shares stuff with me face to face that he probably wouldn't if we weren't connected in all of the other areas. We also have no tech at the dinner table and during certain chats.

For those of you who don't "believe" in it, fine. But if you don't have teenagers you really don't have a clue.

Do you have daughters? How many teenagers do you have? I've never had more than 6 teenagers at once and never more that 5 teenage daughters which I've had twice. Any communication is good communication. Face to face, texting, heytell, phone, smoke signals, use 'em all if they'll listen.

^^^This!

No, it is not.
I have a meeting with my boys every night - no electronic devices allowed.
It's just about 20 minutes - talking.
And we do not allow any such devices at the dinner table either.

Some parents are just totally clueless.

It must be nice to be so totally awesome at everything you do.

the decline of America..............

They said that about the introduction of telephones, too.

Communicating is communicating.

Some are better at clearly expressing a thought through writing than speech. When on the spot, sometimes it's hard to articulate especially if you are disagreeing or one/both are angry.

I don't think anyone has said electronic communication is better than face time, but that they appreciate there are other ways to communicate. A kid expressing themselves via text or email is better than repressing their thoughts in person. Some kids have trouble communicating effectively with their parents for whatever reason - I know I did as a teen. All lines of communication should be open.

I think as long as the line of communication is open, that is something positive!!

the decline of America..............

They said that about the introduction of telephones, too.

i don't mean the technology i mean the mentality and attitude that is looming around many of the responses...........