Does this count as communicating w/ your children?

The OP doesn't say (unless I missed it) that electronic communication is the only communication going on. I absolutely use texting, email, FB in communicating with my 17 yo. And this has contributed to better communication in other areas. We definitely do face to face...and he shares stuff with me face to face that he probably wouldn't if we weren't connected in all of the other areas. We also have no tech at the dinner table and during certain chats.

For those of you who don't "believe" in it, fine. But if you don't have teenagers you really don't have a clue.

^^ This...

teenagers are weird these days, my little sis-in-law can talk to her friend on FB for hours but she won't pick up the phone to call her, she says she doesn't know what to say.

This is what excessive text communicating can lead to. Nothing wrong with communications through text, but it shouldn't be the primary means of communication. People learn valuable social skills by interacting in person with other people. I've heard many employers lament the inability of younger people to communicate effectively and appropriately in person because they haven't learned how to.

the decline of America..............

They said that about the introduction of telephones, too.

i don't mean the technology i mean the mentality and attitude that is looming around many of the responses...........

I assume you mean the general acceptance of non-face-to-face communication (if you don't, then you'll need to clarify, because I don't really know what you're referring to, otherwise)?

Given the above assumption, I again say that they said the same thing about telephones as they came into popularity (and email, for that matter). The generations that grew up without it lamented that society would fall apart without people going over to each others' houses, or meeting at a public gathering place.

It's classical rejection of something new. New equals risk, while familiar equals safety (even if that actually isn't the case, a new thing is considered a risk by virtue of being new, and therefore, unknown). It's a reaction we have that is left over from our ancestors, whose very lives depended on sticking to the known.

the decline of America..............

They said that about the introduction of telephones, too.

i don't mean the technology i mean the mentality and attitude that is looming around many of the responses...........

I assume you mean the general acceptance of non-face-to-face communication (if you don't, then you'll need to clarify, because I don't really know what you're referring to, otherwise)?

Given the above assumption, I again say that they said the same thing about telephones as they came into popularity (and email, for that matter). The generations that grew up without it lamented that society would fall apart without people going over to each others' houses, or meeting at a public gathering place.

It's classical rejection of something new. New equals risk, while familiar equals safety (even if that actually isn't the case, a new thing is considered a risk by virtue of being new, and therefore, unknown). It's a reaction we have that is left over from our ancestors, whose very lives depended on sticking to the known.

you have proven my point......look how society has has gotten worse since all of these things came about. it will just get worse as things progress unless we do something to make it better......have you been in schools lately, its kinda scary what our future is dependent on. and no it is not the educational system or the teachers fault only, it starts at home with proper upbringing.....which is not happening in most cases!!!

the decline of America..............

They said that about the introduction of telephones, too.

i don't mean the technology i mean the mentality and attitude that is looming around many of the responses...........

I assume you mean the general acceptance of non-face-to-face communication (if you don't, then you'll need to clarify, because I don't really know what you're referring to, otherwise)?

Given the above assumption, I again say that they said the same thing about telephones as they came into popularity (and email, for that matter). The generations that grew up without it lamented that society would fall apart without people going over to each others' houses, or meeting at a public gathering place.

It's classical rejection of something new. New equals risk, while familiar equals safety (even if that actually isn't the case, a new thing is considered a risk by virtue of being new, and therefore, unknown). It's a reaction we have that is left over from our ancestors, whose very lives depended on sticking to the known.

you have proven my point......look how society has has gotten worse since all of these things came about. it will just get worse as things progress unless we do something to make it better......have you been in schools lately, its kinda scary what our future is dependent on. and no it is not the educational system or the teachers fault only, it starts at home with proper upbringing.....which is not happening in most cases!!!

Yet the people who do the complaining are the ones causing the situation to begin with.

The ones complaining about the Millennials are the Baby Boomers and GenXers -- the very people who raised the Millennials and the ones who created the dysfunctional family environments that you're referring to. It's also the fault of the parents, not the kids, that the teachers can't meaningfully punish the students, or even so much as hurt their self-esteem. The schools have to deal with the angry parents, so their goal is to keep the parents happy. Unfunded/underfunded and easily abused mandates like No Child Left Behind (pushed through and enacted by a bunch of Baby Boomers and GenXers, remember) don't help matters.

And what, exactly, is a "proper" upbringing? The Amish would consider even the way you raise(d) your children to not be "proper" upbringing. Personally, I say a "proper" upbringing is one that fosters independence and consists of open lines of communication, regardless of what those lines are made of.

Can proper guidance really be deliverd through a text, an e-mail, an instant message, or an FB posting?

YES it can!!! This mother is probably doing everything she can to be close to her child - the teenager more than likely is your AVERAGE teenager who is too cool to talk to thier parents. I was the same way. My parents were the LAST people, especially my mother, who I wanted to run and tell all my secrets to. it was my friends.

I give this mom a High five for sticking with it and doing what she can to try and keep the communication lines open. When the child is 20, I am sure they will start to come around.

Cripes.

First off, (just basing this off your profile pic) you don't seem old enough to be a parent or at least the parent of a teenager so you are even farther from relating to this issue than I am. Secondly, if you aren't willing to tell your parents something in person, then you are even less likely to tell them something by text because it is a less formal communication. There is the possibility that the teenager would be more likely to share something when they don't have to face their parent, but at the same time, you aren't really teaching children to face their fears or to accept accountability. I am not condemning the mother for using this form of communication. I text my daughter when she and I are not together so I can keep up with what she is doing, where she is, or what she might need, but I think it is sad if the most communication that this parent can hope to have is by digital means. She seriously has no control or influence over her child if she is dependent upon that.

I am old enough to be a parent for SURE, and like I said, was a teenager that was 99% convinced my parents were out to ruin my life. SO yes, I think texting/emailing/whatever in this day in age is fine. Is it a little sad that the world has come to this for alot of people/relationships? yes. Do I think face to face communication is the best way to go? Yes. But it is not always practical unfortunately. We dont know the whole situation, but I would think a mother would fo ANYTHING she needed to do to be able to communicate with her child, and if this was the best way, well then so be it!

the decline of America..............

They said that about the introduction of telephones, too.

i don't mean the technology i mean the mentality and attitude that is looming around many of the responses...........

I assume you mean the general acceptance of non-face-to-face communication (if you don't, then you'll need to clarify, because I don't really know what you're referring to, otherwise)?

Given the above assumption, I again say that they said the same thing about telephones as they came into popularity (and email, for that matter). The generations that grew up without it lamented that society would fall apart without people going over to each others' houses, or meeting at a public gathering place.

It's classical rejection of something new. New equals risk, while familiar equals safety (even if that actually isn't the case, a new thing is considered a risk by virtue of being new, and therefore, unknown). It's a reaction we have that is left over from our ancestors, whose very lives depended on sticking to the known.

you have proven my point......look how society has has gotten worse since all of these things came about. it will just get worse as things progress unless we do something to make it better......have you been in schools lately, its kinda scary what our future is dependent on. and no it is not the educational system or the teachers fault only, it starts at home with proper upbringing.....which is not happening in most cases!!!

Yet the people who do the complaining are the ones causing the situation to begin with.

The ones complaining about the Millennials are the Baby Boomers and GenXers -- the very people who raised the Millennials and the ones who created the dysfunctional family environments that you're referring to. It's also the fault of the parents, not the kids, that the teachers can't meaningfully punish the students, or even so much as hurt their self-esteem. The schools have to deal with the angry parents, so their goal is to keep the parents happy. Unfunded/underfunded and easily abused mandates like No Child Left Behind (pushed through and enacted by a bunch of Baby Boomers and GenXers, remember) don't help matters.

And what, exactly, is a "proper" upbringing? The Amish would consider even the way you raise(d) your children to not be "proper" upbringing. Personally, I say a "proper" upbringing is one that fosters independence and consists of open lines of communication, regardless of what those lines are made of.

WELL SAID!! i do agree with nyou on this! and i do acknowledge that there is a difference in proper upbringing and i will be the first to say that i am by no means perfect in the way i raise my kids. i also acknowledge that there are different ways to communicate, BUT face to face should be done consistantly and used to teach so much more than what is just being said. i by no means think that if you text your kid your are a bad parent, i just feel that this needs to be less and used in specific times, not as constant communication. if the child feels that its the only way they can communicate, then how will they succeed in school or the business world, even tho it is used in these areas, one still needs to communicate properly face to face.

and thank you by the way for the comments about the schools. it is rare to find people that feel this way. my district has these "new" customer service rules for teachers/admins and parents, but it is by no means customer service. it is if the parent says no its no.....end of story!! we are not able to do anything in schools to get the kids to be respectful, especially when their parents come in and cuss us out for trying to do so. it is so sad because the kids are suffering for it and eventually our nation as a whole is going to suffer.

and by the way i feel proper upbringing is one in which a child is supported, loved, nutured, shown the right way, taught how to treat others, knows bounderies and is taught respect. all of which i feel is taught by being an example and physically shown the way, not reading how it's done.......

i appreciate your views and this dialogue we had and it sounds like we think more on the same page than it seemed in the beginning!! i needed something to make my brain work in a different direction today

WELL SAID!! i do agree with nyou on this! and i do acknowledge that there is a difference in proper upbringing and i will be the first to say that i am by no means perfect in the way i raise my kids. i also acknowledge that there are different ways to communicate, BUT face to face should be done consistantly and used to teach so much more than what is just being said. i by no means think that if you text your kid your are a bad parent, i just feel that this needs to be less and used in specific times, not as constant communication. if the child feels that its the only way they can communicate, then how will they succeed in school or the business world, even tho it is used in these areas, one still needs to communicate properly face to face.

and thank you by the way for the comments about the schools. it is rare to find people that feel this way. my district has these "new" customer service rules for teachers/admins and parents, but it is by no means customer service. it is if the parent says no its no.....end of story!! we are not able to do anything in schools to get the kids to be respectful, especially when their parents come in and cuss us out for trying to do so. it is so sad because the kids are suffering for it and eventually our nation as a whole is going to suffer.

and by the way i feel proper upbringing is one in which a child is supported, loved, nutured, shown the right way, taught how to treat others, knows bounderies and is taught respect. all of which i feel is taught by being an example and physically shown the way, not reading how it's done.......

i appreciate your views and this dialogue we had and it sounds like we think more on the same page than it seemed in the beginning!! i needed something to make my brain work in a different direction today

Yay for common ground!

I could go on for days, I think, about the current state of our public school system.

It's a bit off-topic, but I think you'd enjoy, and maybe even be able to use, this article - http://positivesharing.com/2006/07/why-the-customer-is-always-right-results-in-bad-customer-service/

Back on topic - I certainly agree that face-to-face communication is generally the ideal, but it's really not as simple as "face-to-face good, texting bad." I think each have their place, and their merits (I, for one, communicate better in writing than face-to-face, and it's been through extensive online interactions that I've been able to become a better communicator overall). Ignoring one in absolute favor of the other not only means you miss out on another communication channel, but also on opportunities, period, to communicate. When dealing with busy teenagers, missing those communication opportunities can mean missing out on a lot more than just a couple of texts.

Does the OP's friend take it too far? Maybe. We don't know the whole situation (I'd say, if they're sitting at the table and only talking via texts, there's probably a problem), but the opposite extreme isn't really beneficial in this day and age, either.