A success story of a different kind.

Obviously, to some degree, since I am writing this on MFP, my story is about weight loss. But this success story is about much more than that. Three summers ago, I was turning 21. I had lived in New York City for a little over a year, and I was ready to leave. As an actress, I had little to no success. I lacked confidence, I couldn't even look people in the eye, hell I couldn't look in a mirror... I couldn't speak to men who were strangers, and I cried nearly every day. It was as if I was apologizing to everyone for my existence. I worked at a gelato shop and ate away my sorrows in 30 some different flavors of fancy italian ice cream on a regular basis.I was more unhappy than words can properly convey. I looked a little something like this:



Looking back, I can't remember when exactly, or why this changed. I became a self-help book junkie at one point (ironically none of them helped when I read them, then when I read one in particular, suddenly they all made sense). I began to force myself to look in mirrors, wear tighter clothes. I started working out. I started changing that aweful self-talk.

I started surrounding myself with only people who were supportive of me, cutting out even people who had been the dearest people on earth to me. After seeing myself in a premiere of an indie film in which I was at my heaviest, I joined MFP (my old account) and started logging, walking several miles a day and working out on top of that.

Now, though I am not currently in anything acting wise, I study with one of the most respected acting teachers, I have been offered lead roles in indies, and have spent time on professional sets. I nanny as a day job, and I give such credit towards my happiness the little booger that I am lucky enough to get paid to watch. He is such a large source of joy in my life that whenever anything else goes wrong, he still loves me and it makes me smile. I have amazing friends, just astounding. I am viewed as confident, and beautiful. One friend recently told me that I radiate with happiness, and I thought to myself, when did that happen? How did I learn to love myself? And honestly, I think its because I learned to love everything around me. I learned to accept exactly who I am, and have fun with it. Health must be taken very seriously, but looks should not because eventually no one has them.

Today, as all people tell me I look like Marilyn, I decided it would be fun to do a little hair and make-up research and take some "Marilyn" photos. And sure, in them, I do resemble her. But looking at those photos made me cry. Not because I look like Marilyn, but because I finally look like me.

This is what I look like today: