Has he moved on :( ??

caroldot
caroldot Posts: 388 Member
edited November 9 in Chit-Chat
I don't normally participate in these threads but I have an ex-BF question that I need people's opinion on. My GF's are tired of hearing me so thought I'd ask a bunch of complete strangers. I'll try to keep story short....

About 7 months broke up with my BF after dating 3 yrs but it wasn't because of a big traumatic event. For last 6 months of relationship seemed lives were taking us different directions. I have kids, sick father, he's focused on career, we live an hour apart - basically it was circumstances - we got to the point where it was either we go for it (marriage) or we break up. We chose the latter :( He was the love of my life (I thought) and I mean I fell head over heels for him when we met. It was a hard break up for both of us. Neither one of us have dated anyone else since the break-up.

We've remained in contact - texts, phone calls, occassional dinner. However I decided about 2 months ago that I need to just stop contact so I can heal. But had a weak moment this week and sent a text. So here's the deal:

Sent a hello text Wed. night around 8pm. He responded 8am next morning. Keep in mind he's a CPA in tax season! Last night I sent a text with pic of my favorite dish he used to cook for me and made a joke about it. He responded with a flirty text so I responded with a flirty text back in form of a question. Nothing - never got a response.

What does this mean??? With the lack of and/or delayed responses to my texts, I'm thinking (A) He's super busy at work - tax season (B) He's moved on & seeing someone else (C) Both (D) I'm over analyzing like women tend to do!
«1

Replies

  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    He may have moved on, but doesn't sound like you have. :flowerforyou:

    You should decide what you want and have a honest conversation with him. If he's not on the same page then it's time to cut the cord completely.

    Good luck. :flowerforyou:
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    You're overanalyzing. Sounds like your lives aren't compatible right now, which means that you may decide to remain friends, but if you're interested in a relationship, you should begin seeking someone who better meshes with your lifestyle.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    A couple of things...

    First,you clearly still have feelings for the guy but the statement the choice was to get married or break up bothers me.
    One is not an option for the other.
    I have never once in my life seen marriage fix a relationship issue or problem.
    Be sure these feelings you have are what you need for the long haul.

    Second as to the actual question about the text and response,my advise would be in light of what I just said to let it be and stop trying to analyze it.
    If you both are interested in a long term relationship and the commitment to that it will develop.
    If he is not then no amount of forcing the issue will make it work.

    Know where you are and what you want first. :flowerforyou:
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    I think you are way overanalyzing what this means.

    It sounds like you really aren't over him, so maybe you should tell him that and see where he's at?
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    You should check his text messages.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    He went for the career, and it only sounds like he texts you when you text him first. He moved on long ago.


    Cut the cord, as all you're doing is tormenting yourself.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    Okay, you obviously still have feelings for him and don't want him to move on. Stop texting, now! Pick up the phone and call him AND tell him all of this. Or better yet see him and tell him in person.
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
    You are overanalyzing it. The lack of response could mean anything. Why not just ask him if he's moved on and tell him that you're missing him?
  • raven56706
    raven56706 Posts: 918 Member
    you are over analyzing it.... relax... he might be busy or whatever....

    texting is soooo dumb sometimes... i mean talking on the phone is more effective... i sometimes dont get texts or just miss one and its the end of the world...


    relax... it will be fine... but it seems as though its put up or shut up time
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I don't think you'll know until you've memorized his facebook page, checked out any women he may have friended and spent a night or two sitting outside his house. It's the only way to be sure!


    Jokes dear. Listen you're way to involved in this. If it's over let it be over. If not make a new plan and try to get him back. There's no third option where you're no longer together but he still secretly loves you and doesn't move on.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    You should check his text messages.

    Every time I see you in the threads this is what you say. lol.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    It means you're overanalyzing it and he's busy.
  • grapenutSF
    grapenutSF Posts: 648 Member
    Okay, you obviously still have feelings for him and don't want him to move on. Stop texting, now! Pick up the phone and call him AND tell him all of this. Or better yet see him and tell him in person.
    ^ This. Direct always works best. The other stuff, alluring as it is, just makes life & love confusing.
  • losingtwenty4miami
    losingtwenty4miami Posts: 15
    Honey,

    It could be a number of these things. Simply, ask him the question. I'm sure he'll be honest with you, there's absolute no reason to falsify any information at this point. Good luck! I pray that he gives you the response you want to hear:)
  • mochalovies
    mochalovies Posts: 192 Member
    girl stop texting him all together -- or just tell him you still have feelings for him. One or the other. The whole 'hanging' status is soo draining.

    Plenty of fish in the sea...
  • angiesteele
    angiesteele Posts: 366 Member
    I think you are way overanalyzing what this means.

    It sounds like you really aren't over him, so maybe you should tell him that and see where he's at?

    i agree
  • PandaofDestruction
    PandaofDestruction Posts: 114
    He is probably busy....and you are over analyzing, and it doesn't matter if he moved on or not, his personal life is no longer your issue, since you and him decided to BREAK UP....he can do what he wants and you can do what you want......You wanted time to heal and maybe he needs it to. I hope your heart heals quickly.
  • mylasttime
    mylasttime Posts: 23
    You need to move on. I was in a relationship for 6 1/2 years and I thought, "well maybe we will get married". We did the getting back together, having breaks, etc. In the end we finally broke up after cutting and ties. I am not saying its going to be easy but you have to do it. There is a reason why both of you broke up in the first place. All I can tell you is that the pain will subside and once you let him go then you can allow yourself to move on. I hope you can move on and not start romanticizing his moves (i.e. text, his flirty responses). Admit that its over and start working on your part of the world.
  • jag18013
    jag18013 Posts: 2
    Text him the question.... What does this mean? Just a thought....
  • mkmfrog
    mkmfrog Posts: 49 Member
    He went for the career, and it only sounds like he texts you when you text him first. He moved on long ago.


    Cut the cord, as all you're doing is tormenting yourself.

    Agree with this! He is merely responding to your pursuit. No more. If he was interested in more, he would PURSUE you. HE would call you.

    Please stop texting him. But I don't agree with calling him either.

    It's time to let go of him and move on. If you two are truly meant to be together in the future, he will be back in touch with you because he wants to, not because you nudged or pursued him.
  • PandaofDestruction
    PandaofDestruction Posts: 114
    girl stop texting him all together -- or just tell him you still have feelings for him. One or the other. The whole 'hanging' status is soo draining.

    Plenty of fish in the sea...


    This ^^^^
  • jjohnboy2000
    jjohnboy2000 Posts: 67 Member
    .


    Sent a hello text Wed. night around 8pm. He responded 8am next morning. Keep in mind he's a CPA in tax season! Last night I sent a text with pic of my favorite dish he used to cook for me and made a joke about it. He responded with a flirty text so I responded with a flirty text back in form of a question. Nothing - never got a response.


    He is a CPA in tax season....busy / tired. Try calling and just ask how he is, knowing that he is busy.
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    You should check his text messages.

    Every time I see you in the threads this is what you say. lol.
    If I've learned anything in the forums, it is that unsupportive loved ones are hiding something, and text messages are the best place to uncover it. Dun dun dun...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Does it really matter if he did?

    If he did, what does that mean to you? Will you move on?
    If he hasn't, what does that mean to you? Will you talk to him about what's going on?

    It seems you're clearly not over him. It also seems if he'd want you back, you'd take him back.
    If this is the case, talk to him. If you know that it's time to let go, then let go. Go no contact because every little text and call will just keep nagging at you. This time though, stick to it. You won't get over him until you cut him out!
  • richelle67
    richelle67 Posts: 73
    He has moved on! Sorry to just come out and state it, but thats the best way to do it. Go on with your life. Try your hardest not to contact him again. He knows your number and can contact you if he wants.(remember up to now, he hasn't) I am saying this from personal experience. It is hard, cuz you keep wondering what if? You aren't over him, and probably never will be because of everything you shared, but it is best to continue on your life without him. Don't wait around for him to call or text, cuz most likely he won't. You are a special person! Remember that! Sorry to be so brutal, but sometimes true honesty hurts the most. And maybe I am wrong and someday he will contact you, at least than you will know how he truly feels cuz he will have made the first move to reconnect. Good luck, I know how it hurts and how you feel! P.S. Yes, it is tax season, he is busy, but remember, to text you back only takes a few seconds, we all have a few seconds in our life for someone we really care about!
  • reactor25
    reactor25 Posts: 146 Member
    I think he probably is busy at work and you are over analyzing. Even if you got back together it sounds like the circumstances that weren't working before would be pretty much the same. I wouldn't take any flirty texts seriously, that stuff is nothing. Almost any guy will respond to a flirty text. I would either stick to your plan of no communication/healing/moving on or try to get him back accepting all the issues you had before... That being said, any guy that is head over heels in love with a girl usually has a hard time staying away. Guys are usually obvious in their affection. Maybe there is someone else better suited for you??
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    He chose not to marry you, its time you move on. The longer you keep texting and allowing this little game to be played, the longer it is going to take you to heal.

    There are not many things in this world that hurt as bad as a heart ache, especially when you think you love someone so much. But if we allow ourselves time for pain and time for healing, we will meet someone that will make it so clear as to why it never worked out with all the rest. Believe it or not, there are people in this world that will put you first, and you are worthy of that kind of love.

    Good luck and I am so sorry for your pain. I have been there done that myself. All I know is I am so grateful that I jumped off that merry go round, cause it was when I jumped off and got my feet planted on the ground is when I met my prince charming, and I thought I had already done that. ;)
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    Over analyzing indeed!!! You are a 40 year old woman. Figure out what you want..... spend your time thinking about that, not trying to read his mind, because you'll never succeed at the latter. If it isn't him let it go... Limbo is not a fun place to be. Difficult as it may be - Move on.

    If it is him you need to do more than send a random text and think he understands your intent. He's not a mind reader either.
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
    You should check his text messages.

    :drinker:
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member

    Sent a hello text Wed. night around 8pm. He responded 8am next morning.

    Men are usually horny at that time :)

    But... I wouldn't put much stock into it. Best thing is just to stop contact and see if he comes after you. When men want something they come after it. Usually.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories