Do you mind when....?

Options
13

Replies

  • ivanaaaaaaaaa
    ivanaaaaaaaaa Posts: 87
    Options
    as much as i agree that putting a man and a woman in the same room will not always lead to sex (the attraction can be there but only one sided), i 100% believe that at some point at least one of them will be thinking about the other one naked. don't kid yourself, it never fails.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,116 Member
    Options
    I like to take the advice of that little voice within.

    All situations have a list of variables.
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
    Options
    might think about the other person naked, but that's not a crime. After a great number of years with the same person that might be necessary to keep the spark alive.

    I know he looks at bikini's on the beach. I'm certainly not wearing them, but I get the after effects and won't complain. As long as he's eating off the buffet at home, he can look at as many dishes as he pleases.
  • Bikini_Bound150
    Bikini_Bound150 Posts: 461 Member
    Options
    If it bothers you, then no. Absolutely NOT.
    But if you really trust that they're just friends, then as long as they don't cross any boundaries, then fine.

    I would suggest meeting this person and finding out who your boyfriend/husband is talking to.
  • shanahan_09
    shanahan_09 Posts: 238 Member
    Options
    My best friend growing up is a guy. We text each other once in awhile to keep up on each others' lives. Hubby is perfectly fine with this. I've known this man since I was a baby, and will continue to know him till the day I leave this earth. I think it's bs that some say that opposite sexes can't 'just be friends'. It's being in a respectful friendship, same as any other friendship.
  • Tiffer80
    Tiffer80 Posts: 2
    Options
    I honestly think this is such a personal issue, that being said... I had the perfect husband and amazing father to my children. He did everything any women would ever ask for. I never once had trust issues with him, he loved me with all his heart. I never questioned anything when it came to us. We had the perfect family for 10 years till one day it all changed. She was just a friend at work and she ruined my family. I think something small like texting can turn into something bigger. It always starts small. 3 years ago I would not have had a problem with it, now yes I would!!
  • ivanaaaaaaaaa
    ivanaaaaaaaaa Posts: 87
    Options
    I honestly think this is such a personal issue, that being said... I had the perfect husband and amazing father to my children. He did everything any women would ever ask for. I never once had trust issues with him, he loved me with all his heart. I never questioned anything when it came to us. We had the perfect family for 10 years till one day it all changed. She was just a friend at work and she ruined my family. I think something small like texting can turn into something bigger. It always starts small. 3 years ago I would not have had a problem with it, now yes I would!!

    ditto!
  • KrystleJade0809
    KrystleJade0809 Posts: 19
    Options
    I dont have a problem, even though my fiancee cheated on me. I trust him and always have, even though he cocked up, but that cant be said for other way round. he has very little trust for me, guess that's his insecurities .

    or guilt maybe??
    I couldn't agree with you more. If you trust him and he didn't trust you and you haven't given him a reason to not trust you he is either currently cheating or has cheated. Just be careful. I have been in your situation where a boyfriend has not trusted me and I never gave him a reason to suspect anything. In the end it turned out that he had been cheating on me all four years.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Options
    .
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Options
    Nevermind, I don't even want to talk to you people.
  • Karrix
    Karrix Posts: 288
    Options
    You don't own your partner/spouse, they're entitled to there own life outside of the relationship. Id honestly be more concerned if my partner didn't have any close friends.

    Some of my best friends are males and I have never crossed any boundaries with any of them, many of these friends are also in long term relationships.

    It's all about security and trust.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Options
    You don't own your partner/spouse, they're entitled to there own life outside of the relationship. Id honestly be more concerned if my partner didn't have any close friends.

    Some of my best friends are males and I have never crossed any boundaries with any of them, many of these friends are also in long term relationships.

    It's all about security and trust.
    I do not trust ME!
    And my wife does not trust HERSELF.

    We both know how we'd react given enough time spent with a "friend".
    Maybe some of you folks are just not as driven as we are, but our rule is just insulation on a part of our nature we know could spark out of control in the blink of an eye.

    It's just foolish.
  • ivanaaaaaaaaa
    ivanaaaaaaaaa Posts: 87
    Options
    She totally acts like she has a crush on him and he denies it. Says he does not see it. He is so clueless! She wants attention from him. I totally agree with this! It sounds like you are ALL on the same page as me on how I feel about this. I just wish he felt the same. He thinks you can have a platonic relationship with whoever you want and like some others have said....you put 2 people of the opposite sex together for long enough.....attractions start forming and all you see with this person is the attraction and the good...you don't have fights or things you have to work through like with your partner so things start looking better with this person....that saying "the grass is greener" came form somewhere people....

    i have a hard time believing he's really clueless. it seems like he's playing that card to justify his actions and get you to stop questioning it. he's obviously enjoying the attention this girl is giving him, which is the attention he should be looking for at home. if you guys have been together for a while and he feels like he doesn't get enough attention at home, he should be able to talk about it. but then, it may not have anything to do with you guys. this girl may just be throwing herself at him and he likes that she only sees the superficial, good things about him. she doesn't know the goods and the bad about him like you do.
  • ivanaaaaaaaaa
    ivanaaaaaaaaa Posts: 87
    Options
    I do not trust ME!
    And my wife does not trust HERSELF.

    We both know how we'd react given enough time spent with a "friend".
    Maybe some of you folks are just not as driven as we are, but our rule is just insulation on a part of our nature we know could spark out of control in the blink of an eye.

    It's just foolish.

    it takes a lot of ba**s to admit that and be ok with it, on both sides. good for you guys!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Options
    Nevermind, I don't even want to talk to you people.
    :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
  • rpantusa
    rpantusa Posts: 267 Member
    Options
    no my husband has a lot of friends, he is very outspoken and he makes friends everywhere he goes. even female friends, most of them are cool. I do not mind, but he recently went back to school, and there is a girl in his speech class, and they are "in a group together" to do a project, and so they had to exchange phone #'s to contact each other, and he did not feel comfortable giving a chick his #, so he gave her my cell phone #, in case she needed to call and get ahold of him for the project. So this stupid chick has called 2 mornings in a row, at like 7am, to ask him dumb *kitten* questions, that dont even have to do with the project, so now im convinced that she has a crush and Im super annoyed with her, not him. I think next time my phone rings at 7am and I answer it and she is on the other end, we may have some words. :explode:
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
    Options
    Hmmmm, my wife and I both have friends of the opposite sex, but both know each others friends fairly well and have no issues with their friendships. It's healthy to have close friendships with others and for those that say that can't help themselves and would get into trouble, I'm sorry I don't understand how you can commit to someone and be moved to cheat. Then you are truly not committed. While you may find others attractive and this is normal. You have control over your actions.
  • Karrix
    Karrix Posts: 288
    Options
    You don't own your partner/spouse, they're entitled to there own life outside of the relationship. Id honestly be more concerned if my partner didn't have any close friends.

    Some of my best friends are males and I have never crossed any boundaries with any of them, many of these friends are also in long term relationships.

    It's all about security and trust.
    I do not trust ME!
    And my wife does not trust HERSELF.

    We both know how we'd react given enough time spent with a "friend".
    Maybe some of you folks are just not as driven as we are, but our rule is just insulation on a part of our nature we know could spark out of control in the blink of an eye.

    It's just foolish.

    As long as both individuals in the relationship have the same view then it's reasonable for that particular relationship.

    However, for my own, I trust myself and I know boundaries and control. Also I'm talking about reasonable friendships, not 24/7 "alone time".
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
    Options
    I'm not in a relationship, so I don't technically fit in the survey group, but I would never mind if my partner had a relationship (not sexual) with someone of the opposite sex. If I was having reservations, it would be time to get out of the relationship because the trust levels weren't high enough. Same exact thing goes for his perception of my opposite sex friendships.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    Options
    Like texting, calling just to talk. Bored or whatever. And as a side note you are not friends with this person nor to you even know anything about them.

    If it's not his mother, sister, aunt or niece... I would be pissed beyond belief. It would have to be some extremely unlikely circumstance... like a death or horrible accident prompting some chick from his past to contact him... otherwise, this would NOT sit well with me.

    So your partner is texting & talking to a girl you know NOTHING about? This would just never happen in my relationship, and if it did... I'd question my husband's sanity, and then he'd probably be getting away from me very quickly because I'd probably come after him with an evil glint in my eye.

Categories