She thinks she's helping...
sharleengc
Posts: 792 Member
There is a lady I work with who is aware of how much I have lost and that I am continuing to work on it. She has recently renewed her goal to lose weight but she's doing it by just cutting stuff out (which is her choice). She knows that I use this site and I watch calories but ever since she started her new diet, she's harping on me more. I think it's because she cut stuff out but it's really annoying...
For example, I had a cookie the other day and she said "that's a lot of calories" and the next day I had a chips...baked individual bag (90 calories) and she said "I don't think that's on your list"
One night she asked what I was doing and I told her I was making cookies for my class and she said "Oh, well I think that's way over for you today"...I was a bit snappy with my reply, telling her that I still had calories left to which she said "uh huh sure"...so i felt I had to defend myself by telling her how much I burned running and what was left..
Iknow she's trying to help and it's also because she's struggling and unhappy with her method but it's really getting on my nerves...
For example, I had a cookie the other day and she said "that's a lot of calories" and the next day I had a chips...baked individual bag (90 calories) and she said "I don't think that's on your list"
One night she asked what I was doing and I told her I was making cookies for my class and she said "Oh, well I think that's way over for you today"...I was a bit snappy with my reply, telling her that I still had calories left to which she said "uh huh sure"...so i felt I had to defend myself by telling her how much I burned running and what was left..
Iknow she's trying to help and it's also because she's struggling and unhappy with her method but it's really getting on my nerves...
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Replies
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How irritating. Clearly you know what you're doing. You're an adult and you've lost FIFTY POUNDS already. I'd be strongly tempted to tell her to STFU, myself. Not the best approach, but neither is micromanaging another person's diet. LOL0
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People are funny and get threatened by the weirdest things. You are showing commitment to something and meeting your goals. I can't say why that would be a threat to her. Continue your good work. Smile or nod if you have to interact with her. If you have a relationship or friendship where you can actually tell her how you feel, you could do that.0
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Yep, she's a little irritable without her cookies.0
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Sounds like someone needs a cookie
Internet hugs to you! Great job on your weight loss ^_^ 0 -
Just tell her that:
"I appreciate your concern, but I have found a healthy, simple and succesful way for weight management and it suits me perfectly. I really don't need or want your opinion of what I should or should not eat but I am happy to tell you more about my method if you want to hear about it. Jusk ask if curious, I'm not pushing you my ideas."
Another approach:
"Thank you for sharing."
(Smile and continue what ever you are doing, like she was air.)
Or even:
"Mind your own business."
(If it gets really irritating and she has no politeness there either.)0 -
You're doing good. Cutting out foods alone isn't exactly healthy in terms of developing a healthy life style. Take for example, I've went down to 130 pounds just by cutting foods out, but the weight piles on quick again, so its much healthier if you workout and such. You're doing it right. Keep going. And cookies and chips are occasionally good since you're more likely to over eat if you cut off cold turkey.0
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It's always the same at this time of year. You get the born again dieters who bug you by talking about their diet and criticising your diet plan.
I work with men and the two over weight ones are constantly swapping and changing their diets.
They eat the wrong stuff and talk for hours over the merits of buying cheap convenience food. One has taken to eating tins of sweet rice pudding straight out of the can. Yuk ( he is diabetic, shouldn't he have a medical diet plan?)
" Hello do you know how much salt is in that Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle"?
I have learned to nod and take no notice because I have shown them this site and they quickly dismissed it as too much effort.
Losing weight trying to eat healthy does take effort, some people are looking for a quick fix.
My family know I count everything I eat or drink. So the days of someone saying I thought you were trying to lose weight are over.
I rarely tell new people I'm watching what I eat.
I feel your irritation with your colleague. it's best not say anything, keep it to yourself. Perhaps she wants praise for her new diet plans. Good luck with own targets!0 -
That reminds me of my boyfriend. When he diets, he cuts out food. I have kind-of tried to tell him not to cut too much, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.0
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"Isn't it amazing how I've managed to lose 50lbs so far without your input"
or,
"you do your thing & I'll do mine, I'm 50lbs down so I can't be doing too wrong, how much have you lost?"0 -
You poor thing That sounds so stressful!
This is one of the reasons why I don't tell people I'm losing weight. I don't like everything I eat to be scrutinised! I went out for pizza with some people a while back and one person commented on how many calories were in my dish. I felt so anxious after that!
It sounds like you're dealing with this very well... as look how well you're doing!! CONGRATS!0 -
A colleague at work asked me to support her in her diet, knowing I was on mine. She is doing it differently and is losing steadily but more slowly than me. She always asks on a Monday and we swap weight loss stories but we both accept that what works for me works for me and what works for her works for her. Try and get this message across to your 'annoying' colleague :frown: .
You have 50ibs to show you know what you are talking about! :bigsmile:0 -
"Isn't it amazing how I've managed to lose 50lbs so far without your input"
or,
"you do your thing & I'll do mine, I'm 50lbs down so I can't be doing too wrong, how much have you lost?"
i love this response lol0 -
I love how people thing you have to eat salad and carrot sticks to lose weight. Great job on your 50!
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"Isn't it amazing how I've managed to lose 50lbs so far without your input"
This :laugh:0 -
Don't get sucked into her problems. Just smile and change the subject or the best way that I have seen when someone is jealous of you, is to just simply not ackknowledge the bad behavior and walk away. Be nice, smile, and be inviting when she is nice to you to reinforce the good behavior, even be a little overly animated when she is being nice.0
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Things like this are why I do not like to let anyone know that I am "dieting"
I think you may need to be firm with here saying it may not fit into her diet but it does fit into yours.0 -
guy at work made a comment about my lunch the other day. i was eating a big bowl of home made jambalaya with an extra 3 ounces of chicken breast and half a kaiser roll. he looked at it and said "guess you're not trying to lose any more weight." when i asked why, he said "thats a lot of carbs." i just laughed. i don't try and justify to others what and how i am eating or working out. i mean, i used to, but they looked at me like i was making excuses or whatever.
now i just let the results speak for themselves.0 -
That's rude. Next time tell her that you appreciate her concern but it's really your business what you're eating. After all, you're not commenting on everything she eats/doesn't eat either, right?0
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"To each his own. Isn't nice to be among people who can respect other people's choices and not be judgmental?"0
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Actually, she probably is not trying to help you. :laugh: I don't know her, but she's probably insecure about the way she is going about losing weight.
In the end, you will be able to keep the weight off b/c you've found a way to do this long term. I hate to be rude, but CAN SHE REALLY LIVE THE WHOLE REST OF HER LIFE NOT EATING COOKIES EVER AGAIN?
I don't think so...
I agree w/ the others that think there is no reason to be rude. I would just keep your response light and laugh and say:
Oh, don't worry - I earned this at the gym and it's not like I'll live the rest of my life w/o ever eating cookies again! :laugh:
FIFTY pounds down - job well done!0 -
Keep reminding her of your weight loss and continue your own journey. I find friends are shocked to see me eat pizza or a cookie as well. A group of us were helping a friend do some heavy remodeling work yesterday and she ordered pizza for us. Later, some were commenting on my weight-loss, and she said "I guess pizza wasn't on your diet....I didn't mean to get you off-track". I replied that I have not eliminated any foods and that I have become effective at knowing how much I can eat to maintain a healthy balance. I try to be clear that changing the way I eat is something I can live with for the rest of my life, it's not a temporary fix.0
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Wow. Do we work with the same woman?
There's a woman at work who decided before Christmas (or so) that she wanted to lose weight. She'll ask me questions and I will answer her honestly... then she argues.
For example:
Her: "I just lowered my calories to 1200 a day. I seemed to have hit a plateau and I want to see if I can get my weight loss moving again. Do you think 1200 is too low? too high? just right? How many calories do YOU eat in a day?"
Me: "I can't tell you if 1200 is too high or too low for your body. You have to just do it and see how it works out for you. I personally eat anywhere from 2300-2500 net calories a day. I know I burn a lot of calories because we work on our feet and are in constant motion"
Her: "Are you kidding? 2300-2500 a DAY? Oh, sweetie.. you're going to get SO FAT eating that many calories. Why on earth would you eat that many?!"
Me: "Um. Well, because I know that's what my body needs. I've been doing it for the better part of 18 months and I'm doing just fine, thank you. There's NO WAY I could survive on only 1200 calories a day. Like I said, do what works for YOU".
Her: "18 months huh? Well, you're gonna get fat. Just you wait. You'll wake up one day and you'll be fat. You should stop eating so much it isn't good for you. Do you want to hear what I eat each day? You could try eating what I eat.. I bet it would help you".
Me: "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm doing just fine thank you".
Her: "You're gonna be fat. I'm telling you. Fat."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Leave me alone. Seriously. Leave me alone. Go away. Do what you please, but stop telling me what I should do.0 -
I completely understand, my boyfriend used to do this after he found out I was working on losin weight. Why? Because I lost 22 lbs after we met. It always made me wonder why he felt the need to criticize my choice of food after I lost weight without any of his input.
After I spoke with him candidly about how unhelpful his remarks were and that I didn't need his help before and certainly didn't need them now he backed off. Hopefully, somethin like that will work with your coworker. I agree with another post, you have been diplomatic. You have a plan that works. That should be your only response. You do not need to justify your course to anyone, that doesn't usually help anyway.
Stay focused and do not let her frustrations become yours.0 -
Eat your cookie and chips and keep on loseing the weight! It will show her you can eat what you want and be happy!0
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think i more than likely would have landed my fist on her nose by now lol0
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Ughhh... I would just not talk to her about my food at all.0
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I wouldn't call that helping, it's a bit of a sabotage, if you ask me, even if she is not doing it consciously.
Can you try to politely smile and ignore her? Maybe if you react less and less (even though you may feel you have to defend your actions) she'll get bored of it.
Good luck, I know how annoying it can be for people to give their 'expert' opinions on YOUR food choices - your lifestyle!0 -
Wow. Do we work with the same woman?
There's a woman at work who decided before Christmas (or so) that she wanted to lose weight. She'll ask me questions and I will answer her honestly... then she argues.
For example:
Her: "I just lowered my calories to 1200 a day. I seemed to have hit a plateau and I want to see if I can get my weight loss moving again. Do you think 1200 is too low? too high? just right? How many calories do YOU eat in a day?"
Me: "I can't tell you if 1200 is too high or too low for your body. You have to just do it and see how it works out for you. I personally eat anywhere from 2300-2500 net calories a day. I know I burn a lot of calories because we work on our feet and are in constant motion"
Her: "Are you kidding? 2300-2500 a DAY? Oh, sweetie.. you're going to get SO FAT eating that many calories. Why on earth would you eat that many?!"
Me: "Um. Well, because I know that's what my body needs. I've been doing it for the better part of 18 months and I'm doing just fine, thank you. There's NO WAY I could survive on only 1200 calories a day. Like I said, do what works for YOU".
Her: "18 months huh? Well, you're gonna get fat. Just you wait. You'll wake up one day and you'll be fat. You should stop eating so much it isn't good for you. Do you want to hear what I eat each day? You could try eating what I eat.. I bet it would help you".
Me: "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm doing just fine thank you".
Her: "You're gonna be fat. I'm telling you. Fat."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Leave me alone. Seriously. Leave me alone. Go away. Do what you please, but stop telling me what I should do.
LOL, too funny0 -
It must be annoying to have her track your every move. The next time she say's something simply say "I've already lost 50 pounds, so I know what I'm doing, but thanks for the advice." You have to work with her so it's best to be honest. She seems to want to turn it into a contest, so take advantage of it - give her a run for her money!!!! Keep up the good work!!!!0
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She's not trying to help, she's being an asshat.
Assuming you no longer wish to hear her comments, I would suggest letting her know that you no longer wish to discuss diet/weight loss matters at work. Of course, this means you won't be able to talk to her about it either....it will have to go both ways. Good luck!0
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