Not used to unwanted male attention..

I'm right there with you! I actually broke up with the guy I was seeing because I couldn't understand how someone could actually like how I look. Made me very uncomfortable. So I'll take any advice you get!

The best thing to do is to try and not look like you are uncomfortable. I find that when men see that looking makes you uncomfortable, they for some reason enjoy to do it more. For the longest time I would wear baggy clothes and hoodies with the hood up because otherwise I was harassed walking down the streets (I live in Brooklyn, and spend most of my time in manhattan--the huge population ups your chance of being hollered at. lol)

But lately I've realized that I can't dress in frumpy clothes just because guys have oogly eyes. I have to dress the way I want to,

I think honestly, be flattered realize you deserve their attention and try not to let it bother you otherwise. Hope that helped,

This was actually the main reason I didn't want to lose weight at first. I really, really do NOT like being flirted with (it tends to make me feel... hunted:frown: ). When I'm thin, it happens a lot. Makes me uncomfortable and I don't like it (unless I'm the... huntress haha).

I've found that men tend to miss hints (subtleties are lost on most). So, I usually just say I gotta go and walk away :embarassed: lol, or if the guy's a real creep, I just ignore him completely, eyes straight ahead (never down) or get out of there if I can (I once told this one creepy persistant "she's the one" former acquaintance that I had a boyfriend, it worked for a while... til he found out I was really single. Now I'm thinking of making up a husband so he'll back off forever :laugh: kidding, ignoring him completely is working so far).

But, really, if it's general flirting, just smile, be polite and excuse yourself from the situation. If it's creepy, leery, and makes you wanna call security :laugh: then leave the area. Make no eye contct once you leave. If he persists. You can tell him to piss off.

This was actually the main reason I didn't want to lose weight at first. I really, really do NOT like being flirted with (it tends to make me feel... hunted:frown: ). When I'm thin, it happens a lot. Makes me uncomfortable and I don't like it (unless I'm the... huntress haha).

I've found that men tend to miss hints (subtleties are lost on most). So, I usually just say I gotta go and walk away :embarassed: lol, or if the guy's a real creep, I just ignore him completely, eyes straight ahead (never down) or get out of there if I can (I once told this one creepy persistant "she's the one" former acquaintance that I had a boyfriend, it worked for a while... til he found out I was really single. Now I'm thinking of making up a husband so he'll back off forever :laugh: kidding, ignoring him completely is working so far).

But, really, if it's general flirting, just smile, be polite and excuse yourself from the situation. If it's creepy, leery, and makes you wanna call security :laugh: then leave the area. Make no eye contct once you leave. If he persists. You can tell him to piss off.

hahaha! I always "have a boyfriend" lol

Also, your post made me think of something that's an issue for me... Which is probably going to make me sound like a lunatic. But I handle men hitting on me who I do not find attractive at all with some amount of grace. However, if I actually like a guy or think he's even the slightest bit cute, I am rude to him, avoid him or get myself as quickly out of the situation as possible. Any thoughts anyone?

It sounds like you are afraid (not sure that is the right word) of finding happiness that somehow you don`t feel you deserve so will ultimately lose.
I can`t make you feel different if so but again it really isn`t the truth of things.

If it is a glance or someone turning to look at you then understand it is a natural reaction and not intended as anything but admiring.
Look at it as a genuine compliment and feel happy the hard work is paying off.

Such a good point. I think it is easy to think of the really uncomfortable situations where a guy is being a creep but this is also a real situation. I think in this situation it is best to just take it as it comes. It's very similar to being able to accept a compliment. It takes time and it feels awkward but there are lots of awkward feelings that accompany the great accomplishment of losing weight. You just have to keep working on feeling good about yourself as you are.

I know what you mean! But for me, my boyfriend takes care of that:blushing: But before him, I'd just ignore him and keep walking (unless of course he was hot, then I'd just play along)

So in the midst of my journey, I do get alot of positive feedback from everyone, about my weightloss. But now that I am walking around in non baggy clothes and some confidence, I am getting some male attention as well. How do you handle it, especially if you were overweight your whole adult life, and it makes me feel kinda uncomfortable.

If they are being creepy about it than ignore them. If its just a passing glance of admiration, I love those!! lol

As a guy? Let me help out my brethren and tell you that if he's cute, and kind, sleep with him!

As for the others...well, I've never been the others (because they piss me off) and so I don't know what women do to get rid of them. I guess look 'em in the eye and tell them to back off.

If there's someone that's in close contact with me (someones creepy housemate or a work colleague) that is making it clear they're angling for more, I just act very blokey and matey, and for the special ones who can't take the hint I pull out the story about the time I had to take an iron supplement that turned my poo green. That gets rid of them!

It is really hard when you go out and someone who is under the influence of peer group/alcohol/drugs is very persistent and nasty - if you're polite they think you're interested, if you ignore or avoid them they can get aggressive. The number of times I've been called a *****, slut or lesbian because I made it clear I wasn't interested...as if those are the worst things anyone can ever be!

Just try to stay friendly but disinterested ie dont get in a conversation - just go find you friends or go to the bathroom to get away, never accept drinks or anything else from them, and if you're really scared then get help from others- friends, bystanders, bartenders etc.

Also don't let any catcalls or whistles or anything shouted from a car get to you - sometimes people are just idiots and it's never personal to you. Don't give it a second thought.

wear t-shirts claiming to have contracted std's or ..... glue root vegetables to your forehead

both worked for me

Same thing here. For me it's not necessarily because of the weight I've lost but of the self confidence I've gained. I'm feeling so much more comfortable in my own body and that seems to have attracted quite a bit of attention.

As I'm currently single (and have been for a while) it's not like I don't want any attention at all but the sudden rush (from nothing to being hit on constantly) is very overwhelming and confusing.

For the lady that broke up with a guy because she didn`t think anyone could like how she looked I am afraid that is a bit too involved an issue for a casual comment here to be of much good.
Please seek out real life support and counseling so you can get your life back,you deserve it because what you see and believe is simply not true.:flowerforyou:

Yes, I agree, and spent a year in counseling to deal with this issue and others. However, that doesn't mean it's completely gone. Granted, there were other reasons to end the relationship, but I found out very quickly I need to be able to love myself before I can be in a relationship. It wasn't fair to him.