Friends and Lies...

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2

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  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Are you sure you're not pregnant?
  • MsTaurus30
    MsTaurus30 Posts: 55
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    She might be trying to spare your feelings or she could be also becoming phony and becoming a closer friend with the other chick but regardless of that being secretive and lien about petty **** is a lil suspect and fake in my opinion so i would just observe her furthermore to see how she acts around you and if she continue to lie about petty things or she slowly stop talking to you then you know what time it is.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    She might be trying to spare your feelings or she could be also becoming phony and becoming a closer friend with the other chick but regardless of that being secretive and lien about petty **** is a lil suspect and fake in my opinion so i would just observe her furthermore to see how she acts around you and if she continue to lie about petty things or she slowly stop talking to you then you know what time it is.
    I will definately have my eyes open :wink:
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    Are you sure you're not pregnant?

    Ummm yep, pretty sure! thanks for asking:laugh:
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    All I would do is post a comment on the picture. Something like, "That looks like fun!" Your friend will realize she's been busted and can decide to come clean if she cares. Otherwise, strike it up to proximity. They live closer, they're more likely to do things together.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I think you're overreacting.
    -wtk
    Yep - sounds like you're close to having yet ANOTHER ex-friend....:laugh:
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    I agree with a lot of the others in that she may be trying to spare your feelings.

    However, you're all adults and I don't see the point in lying.

    I would be honest with her about what you know and how you feel and see what she has to say from there.

    I personally would rather be told the truth than to find out later that I was flat out lied to.
  • ryno0618
    ryno0618 Posts: 361
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    The lie isn't cool. Not at all.
    But she was possibly doing it to spare your possible hurt feelings. What do you think?

    From the friend in the middles perspective. its got to kind of suck. trying to be friend with you and the "used to be" friend. I am sure she feels caught in the middle and probably feels she has to step on egg shells and play the field when dealing with both of you. She's probably making it harder on herself. You seem like the type that is above it all. She is naive and stupid to LIE to you when all the evidence to the contrary is posted in the open on facebook. dumb.

    The question you have to ask yourself....is the friend in the middle worth the trouble of being friends with or should you just move on?
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
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    This sounds like situations I have been in in the past....closer to my high school years, however. I do not in any way mean that you are being immature, but the whole friend triangle and are they hanging out without me smarts of it. kwim?

    The best thing I did was to get ALL OF THEM out of my life, and spend time with friends I could trust, and not care if they hang out without me, because we all have different schedules, lives, ect. Its really quite nice. I really think that if you continue friendships with the has been or middle or whatever that you will continue to troll facebook because you can't trust them. That is stress and drama that you probably don't need in your life.

    If it were me, I would not cut the middle one out completely, just quietly move on. STOP looking at their FB. If she's a true friend, she will come back from the dark side....If not, really doesn't sound like too great a loss. js.
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,245 Member
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    people lie all the time, even like to themselves sometimes, don't you?
  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
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    She was probably just trying to spare your feelings. I wouldn't approach her all angry because you'll sound bitter. Just nicely tell her that its completely fine that she hang out with your former friend and she should never feel the need to lie to protect your feelings. She's caught in the middle.


    What ^^^ she said.
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
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    I have been on either side of this situation and its hard. When you are in the middle, you are trying to keep the peace and make everyone happy, and its difficult to do when you have two sets of friends that flat out don't like each other and you are still friends with both. I do like the suggestion of commenting on the picture so she knows you saw it.

    In that respect, Facebook is the devil. Its sad we have to know so much and consider so much prior to posting stuff, but its true.

    I have "hidden" certain friends the past few months just so I don't have to see their snide comments and pictures and such, and the supposed glorious life they present to others when I know how they truly are inside. Its easier than deleting because that ruffles feathers.
  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
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    I totally understand if a friend lies to spare someone's feelings, but I don't tolerate when someone lies just to make themselves look good or to stir up drama.

    Oh and this is one of the many reasons I ditched facebook. We had a problem where somebody found out we were expecting on facebook, and was offended that others knew about it prior to the facebook posting. I hate facebook.

    @Grinch-- you hate Christmas, too, don't you? :wink:
  • jlightl24
    jlightl24 Posts: 5 Member
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    I know everyone else said she was probably just trying to spare your feelings, but my HONEST first reaction was that IF IT WAS ME, "Sick all weekend" means Saturday and Sunday....so even if she went out Friday night, she may have woke up sick on Saturday and spent Saturday and Sunday sick. But thats just my initial reaction. It may have just been an innocent comment she made, not trying to deceive you either purposely or to spare your feelings.


    But then again, I might be wrong, wouldn't be the first time! :0)
  • loserlori
    loserlori Posts: 22
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    just wondering if the "used to be" is still a friend of yours on FB, if yes, that is your problem. Delete her if you are no longer friends (in real life) and you won't have to hear anything of what she is doing or with whom. That is the problem with FB, but still we all go back for more.. lol

    (maybe this was already asked, have to admit didn't all the comments)
  • NilbyClark
    NilbyClark Posts: 13
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    Yeah I'm voting for "trying to spare your feelings" too. I dont think she did it with the intention of being mean. My friend and I have someone that we both used to hang out with, I personally no longer care for her, but my friend still hangs out with my "used to be" occassionally. You get used to it after a while and it wont feel like such a big deal, some people just grow apart and are better off without each others friendship.
  • Gargwin82
    Gargwin82 Posts: 152 Member
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    Really if it's bothering you I would just lay it out and tell her, "Listen I know it's a hard situation but really I have no issues with you being friends with so and so. I'd rather here about you having a good time out than worrying that you were sick all weekend only to log onto FB and see you went out partying. I'm a big girl and if something bothers me I'll let you know."

    As for the flowers I'm sure there was some reason for her to take them, that or they're courting which makes the whole friend vs friend argument obsolete
  • becka63
    becka63 Posts: 712 Member
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    Whilst I think she may have been trying to spare your feelings, a small voice in my head is asking 'why post about it on fb where you're gonna see it anyway' and then you have (possibly, in her eyes) two issues: 1. That she was socialising with the friend you're no longer friends with and 2. She lied about it, knowing she'd put it all over fb.
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
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    If she went out Friday and this was Monday, maybe it just skipped her mind? I would rather my "friend" not spare my feelings and tell me the truth always, no matter what. I am a big girl and can handle it.
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
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    Middle Friend didn't need to lie. You can post a note on one of the pictures, if you want to be snarky. There's really no need. I had a similar situation. After a couple of years of BS, Middle Friend had the same problems that I had with Original Friend and they parted ways. Middle Friend and i bonded over it and are closer than ever. Time is on your side.

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