Is she right or wrong?

msarro
msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
edited September 19 in Food and Nutrition
What do you think??



http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/nyregion/16bigcity.html?ex=1402891200&en=a0aa56130c9b56bf&ei=5124

MeMe Roth, a publicist and an Upper West Side mother of two, is getting really, really mad — “and I do not mean angry,” she clarified. “I mean mad, like crazy.” Ms. Roth is being driven mad by Public School 9, where her children are in second and fourth grades, and it seems that P.S. 9, in turn, is being driven mad by Ms. Roth.

Ms. Roth, who runs a group called National Action Against Obesity, has no problem with the school lunches provided at the highly regarded elementary school on Columbus Avenue and 84th Street. What sets her off is the junk food served on special occasions: the cupcakes that come out for every birthday, the doughnuts her children were once given in gym, the sugary “Fun-Dip” packets that some parent provided the whole class on Valentine’s Day.

“I thought I was sending my kid to P.S. 9, not Chuck E. Cheese,” Ms. Roth, a trim, impassioned 40-year-old from Atlanta, said in an interview. “Is there or is there not an obesity and diabetes epidemic in this country?”

When offered any food at school other than the school lunch, Ms. Roth’s children — who shall go nameless since it seems they have enough on, or off, their plates — are instructed to deposit the item into a piece of Tupperware their mother calls a “junk food collector.”

This solution seemed to be working pretty well until Ms. Roth’s daughter dutifully tried to stick a juice pop — a special class treat from her teacher on a hot day — into her plastic container. The teacher told Ms. Roth’s daughter to eat it or lose it, and according to the child pointed out that she had seen the young girl eating the corn chips served with school lunch — did that not count as junk food?

This prompted one of Ms. Roth’s infamous heated e-mail messages to the school. Which, in turn, prompted administrators to pull her daughter out of class to discuss the juice pop incident, which only further infuriated Ms. Roth, who said her daughter felt as if she’d been ambushed.

What followed was the kind of meeting in which bureaucracy masquerades as farce, or maybe it’s the other way around. Ms. Roth and her husband, Ben, say they were told by Helene Moffatt, a school safety official, that if they considered the regular dissemination of junk food a threat to their children’s health and safety — and indeed, they do — they should request a health and safety transfer, something that generally follows threats of violence. That transfer request, they were told, would also require filing a complaint with the police.

“What would that conversation even sound like?” asked Mr. Roth, who works in marketing. “ ‘We know you guys are dealing with stabbings and shootings, but stop everything: We have a cupcake situation’ ?”

Both parents left feeling they were being pushed out of P.S. 9, which they perceive as exhausted by Ms. Roth’s intense lobbying for, among other things, permission slips for any food not on the official lunch menu. It would not be the first time: The Roths previously lived in Millburn, N.J., where, after Ms. Roth waged war on the bagels and Pringles meal served to kids at lunch, received e-mail from one member of the P.T.A. that said, “Please, consider moving.” That was in 2006, and P.S. 9 has been hearing about its transgressions against healthy eating pretty much ever since.

“The community is very concerned,” the principal, Diane Brady, wrote in an e-mail message. At the meeting with Ms. Moffatt, Ms. Brady said that Ms. Roth “was hostile” and “threw candy onto the table and cursed.” It was not the first time, she added, that Ms. Roth had “displayed this hostile behavior.”

Ms. Roth’s message is hardly outlandish: There is an obesity epidemic, and there are probably better ways to celebrate a child’s birth than sending a passel of kids into sugar shock in the middle of math class.

Her extreme methods have earned her attention before: The police were called to a Y.M.C.A. in 2007 when she absconded with the sprinkles and syrups on a table where members were being served ice cream. That was Ms. Roth who called Santa Claus fat on television that Christmas, and she has a continuing campaign against the humble Girl Scout cookies, on the premise that no community activity should promote unhealthy eating.

“She has some valid points, but the way she delivers them is abrasive,” said Jim Stanek, a fellow P.S. 9 parent, who responded angrily to an e-mail message Ms. Roth sent to around 75 parents saying that the physical education teacher who served her children doughnuts probably “couldn’t pass a standardized phys ed. test.”

It is too bad that Ms. Roth’s suggestions come in e-mail messages strung with too many capital letters and undiplomatic, if accurate, scare tactics (on the threat of diabetes—“we’re talking amputations, blindness, endless finger pricking, endless disabilities”). It would probably benefit New York’s students, and no doubt Ms. Roth’s family, if she tried to catch a few flies with honey. Make that agave nectar.
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Replies

  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    She needs to get a life! Some people just want to complain to hear themselves.

    I agree that the special snacks are junk - but from my experience with my kids - it's not a common occurance and I worry more about what the school lunches are than the occasional "treat"
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    I think she has a good point but is a bit crazy in her approach... Her kids don't have to eat it and I'm sure she wasn't a perfect angel earlier in life.
  • I vote wrong. Too extreme. Feed your kids healthy stuff, pack their lunches, but chill out about the cupcakes and fundip... And why couldn't her daughter throw away the juice pop? "eat it or lose it" right? Why couldn't she "lose it"? Doesn't make any sense...
  • abstract
    abstract Posts: 13
    WOW! that woman is CRAZY! i mean, she might have a point, but she's definitly going about it the wrong way! i feel bad for her kids!
  • isadoraworkman
    isadoraworkman Posts: 205 Member
    I don't think it is a crime for children to have cupcakes on a birthday...what is up with this lady. I think the problem of obesity is the result of an all or nothing society. it sounds like this school is making an effort to encourage the children to eat well. We all know that a sweet treat once in a while is a good thing. I think this lady has an eating disorder that she is pawning off on her children.
  • Euphonasia
    Euphonasia Posts: 136
    I think she's right to an extent. Granted, as with anything else, it is possible to take her junk food crusade too far. There's nothing wrong with being civil, and she'd probably get a much better response from the community at large if she were. Instead of yelling and e-mailing, since she's the parent with the problem, perhaps she should help create healthier snacks for the students on special days. It would teach them a whole bunch more about eating healthy and expose them to new foods. Her flying off the handle at the smallest infraction won't do that.
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    I also don't think you should be putting elementary age children in the middle like that - eat it or lose it yeah but why should the kid have to feel the pressure that the mom's put there - can you imagine how the mom reacted to her for eating the popsicle - I feel bad for the kids.
  • Hanni
    Hanni Posts: 158 Member
    too extreme. let the kids be kids, balance is the key. noone will get obese from the occasional sweet. And as long as the school lunches are healthy, what's her problem? :noway:
  • isadoraworkman
    isadoraworkman Posts: 205 Member
    I liked the agave nectar dig at the end of the article, lol
  • ngwife4life
    ngwife4life Posts: 569
    Sounds like she has a genuine concern but she's going about it the complete wrong way. Rather than drive everyone nuts and try to control your children's every last food decision (and everyone else's children, for that matter!) try educating them on food. Show them by example that you can have a treat every now and then. If little Johnny and little Suzy are both celebrating their birthdays this week, pick one day to have a cupcake treat and just say no thanks to the other. If my mother had controlled my food like that, I would have binged on junk food at friend's houses and probably gained about 100 pounds as soon as I moved out! While my mom still didn't teach me quite the right way to treat food, I have to say that it was better than the road Ms. Roth is taking.
  • LeanLioness
    LeanLioness Posts: 1,091 Member
    I don't know what kind of lunches PS9 serves where she lives in New York, but she should be having a problem with the school lunches too............

    I know around here (Southern Illinois), the school lunches are anything but healthy.................Hot dogs and macaroni and cheese..........

    Grilled cheese on white bread served with french fries............

    All junk carbs, barely any protein............
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    That's way too extreme. The food being served at lunch is healthy....the occasional cupcake and holiday treat isn't going to make her kids obese. And even if she still wasn't want them to have it, when the kid is offered the treat, why can't they say no thank you, rather than accept it and put it in the "junk bin". We have cake for everyone's birthday in the department at work. Between ours and our sister department that makes about 25 birthdays to celebrate each year....when they pass the cake around and I don't want any, I simply say no thank you.

    Besides, I am 30 years old....when my friends and I were kids, there was not this obese child epidemic going around, and we had cupcakes and special treats at school. Why is that? Because when we were kids, we played and ran around and got exercise. Now all kids do is sit around like lazy lumps playing video games. Not to mention the fact that recess has been cut more than half of what it was when I was a kid.
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member

    Besides, I am 30 years old....when my friends and I were kids, there was not this obese child epidemic going around, and we had cupcakes and special treats at school. Why is that? Because when we were kids, we played and ran around and got exercise. Now all kids do is sit around like lazy lumps playing video games. Not to mention the fact that recess has been cut more than half of what it was when I was a kid.

    SO TRUE! Get them outside to play!
    Tag - your it!
  • 135gratitude
    135gratitude Posts: 364
    I have to weigh in here.... intersting post....

    Yes, she went too far, and too fanatical....

    However, as a mother of two kids with life threatening allergies, and an advocate of healthy eating, I personally think that we shouldn't reward the kids with treats or food, and we shouldn't necessarily celebrate with food. I wouldn't be too jazzed if someone gave my child a "Fun Dip".

    Here in Ontario, kids bring their own food for lunch and two snacks) and I love this - everyone eat their own food, and no one brings in any communal food.
    :smile:
  • aymie24
    aymie24 Posts: 227
    She's right. I have four children, ages 15, 14, 4 and 2. My husband and I work hard to teach them the things we feel are important. Schools often trample all over things we feel should be left to parents but fail to set a good example for the things that are important to our children's future.

    Schools have taken on all kinds of issues, sex, racism, cultural sensitivity (including dabbling in several non-Christian relious practices as a part of other cultures), and many other "life" issues that fall outside the boundries of academics. So why is nutrition so different?

    I have tried to involve myself in the public schools here to help promote positive changes in the food offerings. The teachers want healthy foods. The kids want healthy foods. The obstacle is PARENTS!

    My husband and I have decided to send our three younger children to a private school in the fall. My 14 year old spent an entire day at the school last month. She brought home the school's lunch menu and both of my teenagers oooohhh'd and aaahhh'd over things like cottage cheese and fresh friut (rather than canned) being served. The whole grain hamburger buns and grilled chicken patties had them far too excited. My children are not the exception either.

    I've told this story on MFP before. I work in breastfeeding and nutrition, through a program that serves low income families. Last summer I did a series of classes at our local boys and girls club. I brought healthy snacks everytime we met. Nearly all of the kids said they NEVER ate fresh fruits or veggies. ALL of the fruits and veggies they ate were canned, and as they put it, mushy. These kids all eat school lunches, and home meals are often made with foods from food closets. I brought honey dew melon in towards the end of the series and there was nearly a fist fight over the leftovers. The class was 9 to 12 year old girls and they were seriously that upset with each other over honey dew melon!

    On the flip side, my husband was in Iraq over the Memorial Day holiday this year. I planted red, white and blue flowers in our yard and placed 4 reasonably sized flags among our landscaping. My daughters freaked out, fearing some of our neighbors would perceive that as racist. We live in a rural area and there are many hispanic migrant workers who have settled here. At school this year, they spent a great deal of time talking about cultural sensitivity, so much so that my kids started to feel like showing any sense of American pride is considered offensive to those who were not born here.

    On the other hand, they sold Krispy Kreme donuts by the dozen as an end of the year fundraiser. Eating Krispy Kreme donuts regularly is potentially hazardous to their health, but that is not important to schools.

    This very issue is a big part of why we have chosen to remove three of our four children from the public school system, forever. They will either attend private school or be homeschooled. The public school systems in the US have chosen to "educate" our children in the areas they feel are important and not in the areas that are important to the health and welfare of our children. They too have become victims of Washington DC. There is far too much money and power wrapped up in processed, sugary foods to ever get any publicly funded entitiy to fight them on behalf of our children. We have big tobacco, we have big oil and we have big food. All three are killing the human race with one form of pollution of another.
  • keiko
    keiko Posts: 2,919 Member

    Besides, I am 30 years old....when my friends and I were kids, there was not this obese child epidemic going around, and we had cupcakes and special treats at school. Why is that? Because when we were kids, we played and ran around and got exercise. Now all kids do is sit around like lazy lumps playing video games. Not to mention the fact that recess has been cut more than half of what it was when I was a kid.

    SO TRUE! Get them outside to play!
    Tag - your it!

    I'm agreeing with these posters. Once in awhile treats don't make kids fat. It's the constant diet that they are fed of fast food, highly processed foods. And the serious lack of activity.

    She could have taught her kids to say "no thank you" rather than having her junk food container.
    I think that she has an issue with food and she is projecting that onto her children. And the fact that I think she likes attention.

  • Besides, I am 30 years old....when my friends and I were kids, there was not this obese child epidemic going around, and we had cupcakes and special treats at school. Why is that? Because when we were kids, we played and ran around and got exercise. Now all kids do is sit around like lazy lumps playing video games. Not to mention the fact that recess has been cut more than half of what it was when I was a kid.

    SO TRUE! Get them outside to play!
    Tag - your it!

    I'm agreeing with these posters. Once in awhile treats don't make kids fat. It's the constant diet that they are fed of fast food, highly processed foods. And the serious lack of activity.

    She could have taught her kids to say "no thank you" rather than having her junk food container.
    I think that she has an issue with food and she is projecting that onto her children. And the fact that I think she likes attention.

    Wouldn't THAT be a *fantastic* skill to teach your child - how to assertively say "no thank you" when offered food rather than the "junk food bin". Personally, I'm still working on that...
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Just my .02

    Maybe she should consider home schooling if she wants control over every little aspect of their day
    I think she has an extremely valid point but has gone a tad overboard
    My kids are 4 and 5 and I 'used' to be extremely cautious of everything that they ate/drank.....organic etc
    BUT I have loosened up a bit as they've gotten older
    I think if you concentrate on feeding your kids healthy foods 90% of the time when they are at home/with you....then it's Ok to have a little junk here and there....

    We should all eat a healthy diet all the time, but the reality of it is that food is fun and food is often part of social gatherings, play dates etc....
    One juice box or cupcake is not going to kill the kid or make him/her obese

    Kim
  • aymie24
    aymie24 Posts: 227

    Besides, I am 30 years old....when my friends and I were kids, there was not this obese child epidemic going around, and we had cupcakes and special treats at school. Why is that? Because when we were kids, we played and ran around and got exercise. Now all kids do is sit around like lazy lumps playing video games. Not to mention the fact that recess has been cut more than half of what it was when I was a kid.

    SO TRUE! Get them outside to play!
    Tag - your it!

    I am 33 and you both need to realize that things are a lot different now! For starters, there are many more chemicals and artificial everything in foods today than there were when we were growing up. Video games started with our generation!

    It totally pisses me off when people call kids today lazy! It's "parents" who buy the video games, it's "parents" who are so busy with their own lives that they don't take their kids to the park or outside to play.

    Our neighborhoods are no longer safe to play in. Criminals have more rights than children do, so blaming the kids for being "lazy lumps" is pretty unfair.
  • jdhall
    jdhall Posts: 76
    I think the "Junk Food Bin" will eventually grow some things that are not to healthy as well! :bigsmile: This lady is crazy, teach them the right way to eat and get them out in the evening to exercise! That is what wroks for all of us, why not instill that into your children! :love:
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
    I disagree with her.

    My personal opinion is that she has failed to convey her message to her own children if she has not instilled in them the ability to "say no." Why can't her children simply decide to not have the toppings? Does she want mindless drones instead of people who can think for themselves and make decisions based on facts? Why must she spirit away things that a) do not belong to her and b) other people may enjoy.

    If she cares so much about health, why hasn't she teach her children the dangers of certain foods? Further, in most of these situations, adults are also able to enjoy the treats. How would you feel if someone told you "No, you're not allowed to have a doughnut because *I* say so, and *I* know better than you."

    Ultimately each child should be empowered to be able to make a decision for his or her self. Forcing the decision to "authority" figures and taking it out of the kid's hands, I feel, sets a very dangerous precedent. What happens when the kid gets to finally make the decision themselves?
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    Whether her ideology is right or wrong, her extremism could very well instill food obsession/compulsions in her own children (for life!). Eating healthy should be a result of common sense and knowledge, not a fanatical over reaction to a school snack. And standard school lunches where I live are horrible, the a' la carte options are often much healthier (salad entrees, reduced fat items, meatless entrees).

    I agree with the above poster, as well. Teach them to say no, teach them that an occasional splurge is ok if they make up for it by getting a bit of extra exercise, and teach them to think for themselves.

    Imposing one's own views on other people is usually ineffective.
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
    We should all eat a healthy diet all the time, but the reality of it is that food is fun and food is often part of social gatherings, play dates etc....

    Good point - I think it's interesting that in raising rabbits, you help bond two animals by putting their food dishes near one another (but separated) so animals can be in sight of one another while they eat. It does help build stronger bonds.

    Further, certain cultures are defined by their foods.
  • leann_m_olson
    leann_m_olson Posts: 363 Member
    ok, she is more than a little crazy! But school lunches are very unhealthy and they should be changed and I also agree that there are better options than snacks to reward kids or celebrate things. There are many children who have real health issues who cannot eat these extra treats. My son was diagnosed with diabetes in kindergarten and we had to deal with it many times, it was very hard on him to not eat what the others were given even though i would provide alternatives to the teacher. I also think they should teach more about eating healthy in school and that lunches should follow those guidelines.
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
    ok, she is more than a little crazy! But school lunches are very unhealthy and they should be changed and I also agree that there are better options than snacks to reward kids or celebrate things. There are many children who have real health issues who cannot eat these extra treats. My son was diagnosed with diabetes in kindergarten and we had to deal with it many times, it was very hard on him to not eat what the others were given even though i would provide alternatives to the teacher. I also think they should teach more about eating healthy in school and that lunches should follow those guidelines.

    I have to agree with school lunches being unhealthy. Granted, I haven't been in high school since 2002, but it took until my senior year to even get a salad bar as an option. Even then tt was so exhorbanantly priced that almost no one could afford it. The average salad cost about 4$, compared to the 1.25 the school lunch cost.

    My school also had the opinion that ketchup counted as a vegetable (dead serious.), so you could have delightful lunches like a hot dog on a white bun, with mashed potatoes, milk, and a dessert.

    Mmm, so healthy.
  • ok, she is more than a little crazy! But school lunches are very unhealthy and they should be changed and I also agree that there are better options than snacks to reward kids or celebrate things. There are many children who have real health issues who cannot eat these extra treats. My son was diagnosed with diabetes in kindergarten and we had to deal with it many times, it was very hard on him to not eat what the others were given even though i would provide alternatives to the teacher. I also think they should teach more about eating healthy in school and that lunches should follow those guidelines.

    I have to agree with school lunches being unhealthy. Granted, I haven't been in high school since 2002, but it took until my senior year to even get a salad bar as an option. Even then tt was so exhorbanantly priced that almost no one could afford it. The average salad cost about 4$, compared to the 1.25 the school lunch cost.

    My school also had the opinion that ketchup counted as a vegetable (dead serious.), so you could have delightful lunches like a hot dog on a white bun, with mashed potatoes, milk, and a dessert.

    Mmm, so healthy.

    If I read the article right, this lady isn't even talking about the school lunches though, right?
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member

    Besides, I am 30 years old....when my friends and I were kids, there was not this obese child epidemic going around, and we had cupcakes and special treats at school. Why is that? Because when we were kids, we played and ran around and got exercise. Now all kids do is sit around like lazy lumps playing video games. Not to mention the fact that recess has been cut more than half of what it was when I was a kid.

    SO TRUE! Get them outside to play!
    Tag - your it!

    I am 33 and you both need to realize that things are a lot different now! For starters, there are many more chemicals and artificial everything in foods today than there were when we were growing up. Video games started with our generation!

    It totally pisses me off when people call kids today lazy! It's "parents" who buy the video games, it's "parents" who are so busy with their own lives that they don't take their kids to the park or outside to play.

    Our neighborhoods are no longer safe to play in. Criminals have more rights than children do, so blaming the kids for being "lazy lumps" is pretty unfair.

    It's a generalization to say kids need more activity. My kids are very active but I do see kids that sit and watch TV or play games all day long - yes their parents need to step it up and get on them but schools cutting out activity time isn't good. I think it's a good time for the kids to let go and allow them to refocus for the rest of the day. With all the ADD and ADHD - I think letting it out helps them to bring it all back together.
  • vanessadawn
    vanessadawn Posts: 249
    She is obsessed, and I agree with above posters that negativity and obsession with food will transfer over to her children. I had a friend who was deprived (yes I think of it like that, let a kid be a kid and have a treat once in a while) and she is now gaining weight rapidly as an adult because she rebelled with food and decided to eat all the bad stuff she missed out on as a child.
  • aymie24
    aymie24 Posts: 227
    She is obsessed, and I agree with above posters that negativity and obsession with food will transfer over to her children. I had a friend who was deprived (yes I think of it like that, let a kid be a kid and have a treat once in a while) and she is now gaining weight rapidly as an adult because she rebelled with food and decided to eat all the bad stuff she missed out on as a child.

    The same can be said about everything we overindulge in. We don't watch TV in our house, so you think my kids are going to grow up to be couch potatoes? No. They love to play sports, they love to be outside, they aren't going to give up the things they love because they somehow "missed out" on bad habits as kids!

    Eating junk food in school is not a "once in a while thing"! There are roughly 30 kids to a classroom and 5 to 6 holiday/seasonal celebrations per year. They go to school about 9 months per year, 4 weeks per month, give or take. That's about 36 weeks. So roughly once a week they are getting HIGHLY processed, sugared up foods for birthdays and other celebrations. To me, that IS enough to start forming bad habits! Not to mention that those Valentine's and fall festival parties have 20 or mom parents sending in garbage!

    How can any of you say this is ok? Would you eat junk once a week at work because it's considered "extreme" not to?

    As far as this woman's kids saying no thank you everytime, seriously, do any of you have kids? Let's make the healthy kids the freaks because it's more acceptable to eat junk??? Why are you on this site if you really believe it's ok for growing children to eat sugary, processed, chemical garbage weekly at school???


    DAVE!!!! HELP ME HERE!!!!!!!
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    She is obsessed, and I agree with above posters that negativity and obsession with food will transfer over to her children. I had a friend who was deprived (yes I think of it like that, let a kid be a kid and have a treat once in a while) and she is now gaining weight rapidly as an adult because she rebelled with food and decided to eat all the bad stuff she missed out on as a child.

    The same can be said about everything we overindulge in. We don't watch TV in our house, so you think my kids are going to grow up to be couch potatoes? No. They love to play sports, they love to be outside, they aren't going to give up the things they love because they somehow "missed out" on bad habits as kids!

    Eating junk food in school is not a "once in a while thing"! There are roughly 30 kids to a classroom and 5 to 6 holiday/seasonal celebrations per year. They go to school about 9 months per year, 4 weeks per month, give or take. That's about 36 weeks. So roughly once a week they are getting HIGHLY processed, sugared up foods for birthdays and other celebrations. To me, that IS enough to start forming bad habits! Not to mention that those Valentine's and fall festival parties have 20 or mom parents sending in garbage!

    How can any of you say this is ok? Would you eat junk once a week at work because it's considered "extreme" not to?

    As far as this woman's kids saying no thank you everytime, seriously, do any of you have kids? Let's make the healthy kids the freaks because it's more acceptable to eat junk??? Why are you on this site if you really believe it's ok for growing children to eat sugary, processed, chemical garbage weekly at school???


    DAVE!!!! HELP ME HERE!!!!!!!

    1-Dave got banned (which sucks)
    2-Yes processed food also sucks...but it's the parents decision to allow a kid to have it or not. My child gets to have junk some times....about once a week at school...because she isn't allowed to have any at home. So it's okay with me with a once a week 'treat'. Most kids go home and help themselves to more junk. This woman controls what's in her house and the kids are only able to have 'junk' while at school...and even then she enforces her habits on them. To deny them something so simple as one snack a week is taking it too far!
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