WOW! How did this happen?

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  • Hernandeak11
    Hernandeak11 Posts: 351 Member
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    Another thing: it's a great thing that your daughter is willing to talk to you about this!

    My own mother didn't know about my first few boyfriends! lol
  • RilantheFirebug
    RilantheFirebug Posts: 207 Member
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    I wouldn't worry. I had a "boyfriend" in fifth grade but all we did was hold hands and hang out at recess. Ask her what her idea of dating is, bet its harmless.
  • CiciPorcayo
    CiciPorcayo Posts: 381 Member
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    I have a son and daughter. Not near close to that age but I have heard that you should always talk birds and bees from a young age, of course to their understanding. Nothing graphic, vivid or detailed so if you haven't which you seem very sensable I am sure you have.... but if... u haven't please do! & another thing. I wouldn't care if my daughter was a genius and in highschool at 10yrs old dating should be out of the question. Shouldn't even be on her mind. Crushes yes! Playing tag on the playground with a cute boy yes. Maybe roller skating or going to a cute school dance yes. Boyfriend and Girlfriend at 10yrs old. What are they gonna discuss over a bowl of mac an cheese, Spongebob. All am saying is you need to have a serious talk. & our babies do grow up way to fast and we have to cherrish their young innocense for as long as we can but also protect it as well. Good luck :)
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    My son is 8 and we always tease him about liking girls in his class as far as asking to date he did ask at what age he would be able to. I am never sure how to answer this. I go through the uncomfortable conversations all the time with him like where do babies come from and the different meanings of gay. (for some reason elementary boys like to call each other gay all the time). Just last night I got the question what is semen? No clue where he heard it and so not ready to have the sex talk or any other talk. Why can't they just stay young children for as long as possible because you are an adult for so long. Unfortunately with whats on t.v. and what they learn from other children can speed up the growing up process.
  • jenniet04
    jenniet04 Posts: 1,054 Member
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    In my opinion 4th, 5th and 6th grade should be in elementary schools still. My 6th grader is in middle school with 7th and 8th graders and I don't like it one bit. Thankfully, he is painfully shy and won't even hardly talk with girls. And we have been very open and honest with him, so I'm praying he will be the same with us. Also, thankful that I have 4 boys and not girls!!
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I wouldn't worry. I had a "boyfriend" in fifth grade but all we did was hold hands and hang out at recess. Ask her what her idea of dating is, bet its harmless.

    I do worry because a boy in her class dated every girl but her and want's to date her now. This is what she told me. Her idea of dating is currently being defined and I don't want her to find her own way. I want her to be a whole person and not have baggage. The idea of dating to youth is getting more descriptive because a vast majority of parents are not vigilent. Next thing they know is their child is pregnant. Not all occasions but more often than it should. I just don't want her to get the wrong idea. It's important to help her have a healthy understanding of human relationships.
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
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    In my opinion 4th, 5th and 6th grade should be in elementary schools still. My 6th grader is in middle school with 7th and 8th graders and I don't like it one bit. Thankfully, he is painfully shy and won't even hardly talk with girls. And we have been very open and honest with him, so I'm praying he will be the same with us. Also, thankful that I have 4 boys and not girls!!

    Your a good mom. I pray allot for my kids too. I want them to make a difference in the world vs the world and all of it's philosophies making a difference in them. I want them to shake up this world and be the amazing people they are destined to be.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    It's not the sex talk, it's the fact that she actually came out and asked. Glad she is honest with me but man! It just goes by so fast!

    All I'm saying is don't assume their version of dating is harmless. Ask for specifics and use it as a teaching moment. Kids are doing stuff you'd never have imagined.
  • ethompso0105
    ethompso0105 Posts: 418 Member
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    My parents had a "16 rule". My sister and I had to be 16 prior to dating (obviously). I'm still not sure how I feel about that--while I think that's a more appropriate age to begin dating, it also gave liking boys a taboo feel for both my sister and I. Because of that, I didn't end up actually starting to date until I was 21.

    It's great that your daughter feels that she can be open and honest with you--I felt the same with my parents, I just didn't want to deal with the teasing that came along with liking someone. LOL
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 834 Member
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    I wouldn't worry. I had a "boyfriend" in fifth grade but all we did was hold hands and hang out at recess. Ask her what her idea of dating is, bet its harmless.


    Sadly, I have to disagree with this... having had an 11yo neighbor who got pregnant, and had her second child at 14. Thankfully that's not the norm, but kids have a different idea of dating than we did, thanks in large part to the media.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 834 Member
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    I do worry because a boy in her class dated every girl but her and want's to date her now. This is what she told me.

    Talk about your teachable moments.... wow. Too bad that boy's parents haven't been as diligent as you are being. Here's her chance to see herself as worth more than a pre-teen version of a mark on a bedpost.
  • ChickenTuna
    ChickenTuna Posts: 24 Member
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    In my opinion 4th, 5th and 6th grade should be in elementary schools still. My 6th grader is in middle school with 7th and 8th graders and I don't like it one bit. Thankfully, he is painfully shy and won't even hardly talk with girls. And we have been very open and honest with him, so I'm praying he will be the same with us. Also, thankful that I have 4 boys and not girls!!
  • jenncaroon
    jenncaroon Posts: 91
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    I feel for you and your situation. Please don't lump all public schools or the people working with your children in one category. I value the parent - child relationship beyond any other each child has. I teach with many people who feel the same. We are a team working toward helping children succeed. We value all teammates, especially a child's family. Reach out knowing that most teachers are in it for the right reasons. Have a wonderful day. Your daughter is lucky to have you!
  • ChickenTuna
    ChickenTuna Posts: 24 Member
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    Be careful and be aware...I have worked with middle school kids for over 15 yrs and have seen the dating scene that occurs. Although sex is a major concern, another great concern is how these impressionable minds deal with rejection and break ups. I have seen little boys who stalk girls because that are so wrapped up in the relationship. And, little girls who become suicidal because they boy starts liking another girl and they are no longer worthy. In short, talk to your daughter and let her know that boy friends come in time...right now let's just have boys who are friends
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
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    So scared.:frown:
    My 10 year old and I had a dissagreement. At the end of the conversation she asks me... are you ready for this? Brace your self.
    Can I start dating?
    Say what?
    "All my friends are doing it." she states.
    I'm taken aback. I was not expecting it but she does go to a middle school with 6th graders. It just blew my mind because at that age they don't really understand to the full extent of the adult meaning.
    Life is just going WAY too fast and it made my heart sad to see her growing up so fast. I don't want to keep her a baby forever just slow down her desire to be a grown up right this seccond. Be sure to hug your little ones and let them know how special they are to you before all of a sudden life has happend and you missed it.
    No, they don't understand the adult meaning, but it's a good idea to ask her what dating means to her. I found with my kids and their friends they would say things without knowing what it meant. My son "dated" when he was that age, and for him it meant they ate lunch together, they picked each other as partners in gym class, they hung out at lunch. What you don't want to do is make a huge deal of it because if you do they might just start doing things behind your back. As a parent my preference was to know what was going on even if I didn't like it. We don't have to like our kids' choices, but it's our job to help them make good (or better) choices.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    I do worry because a boy in her class dated every girl but her and want's to date her now. This is what she told me.

    Talk about your teachable moments.... wow. Too bad that boy's parents haven't been as diligent as you are being. Here's her chance to see herself as worth more than a pre-teen version of a mark on a bedpost.
    I have to second this. I think your daughter is not too early to learn this lesson.

    It might be worth it to have a frank discussion about this and ask her why she wants to date a boy who has dated then dumped, every other girl in her class. Point out that if he's done it to every other girl, he'll do it her and it's not a situation she'll enjoy. Ask her why she thinks he waited to ask her out until the very end. Does she really want to be associated with a boy like that? These last few questions can be delicate but how you phrase it can make all the difference and you know your daughter best. It can also help to set her up for a lifetime of being confident enough to reject those who obviously don't hold her in high regard and knowing her own self-worth, rather than judging it by what others think about her.

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