friendships in real life

Well, I have found that a number of my friendships have... moved on over the years. I think though, whether you're in a relationship or not, to make time for yourself, and your friends. So maybe take the time to either reconnect with existing, or previous friends, or go out and make some new ones. Good luck!

I can't speak of depression but there were times in life that I felt in transition from being young and having certain friends to maturing and finding new interests. I just focused on things that I enjoyed doing and friends just sort of happened.

I'll note the irony of this next statement but minimize the time on the computer and get out in the real world more often too.

Hope this helps.

Hm you sound simliar to me. All my life I would make friends anywhere I went and it came so easy to me, but after a almost two year relationship with my now ex boyfriend, I don't have any friends there anymore. I put him first, of course he didn't see it like this, he tended to be a bit controlling where my social life was concerned[we don't live that near to each other but not that far either, only an hour away], and as I chose him over my friends, they just started walking away one by one. I don't have friends, I find it hard to make friends, I never know what to say, social situations are so scary for me now. All I have is my younger sister, she's my best friend. It shouldn't be this way, we're young, we should be out with our friends living our lives to the very fullest! I Don't really have any advice but if anyone does I need it too lol:( Good luck though:)

Tasha
xxx

I only have a few close friends - I was never an outgoing person and hated the drama of high school so I stuck with a small group. Now, all of my close friends live at least an hour away and I hardly see or talk to them. I moved to a new town (pop. 3400) almost 2 years ago and I just do not fit in. Everyone here has grown up together and went school to school to school together and they are not interested in letting new people in to their groups. I've tried to make plans with people (out of my comfort zone to be the instigator) but they always fall through. I have 3 sisters in law that live close by but none of them keep plans or seem to have anything in common with me because they don't have kids. It's kinda lonely but between a full time job, full time college, 2 kids and my husband working 2 jobs+clinicals - I think it would be hard to keep up with many friends.

I'm kinda in the same situation. I've still got a lot of friends but have lost touch with some over the past few years and have limited contact with others. Although, to be honest, I anticipated that this might happen as I decided to go back to Uni to do a PhD and as I was self-funding, I've been juggling the PhD, work (sometimes 2 different jobs), volunteering at different things to give me more experience in the field I want to go into etc. I'm also (and have always been) involved with my church and youth work and then after a lifetime of being single, I met a guy about a year and a half ago, too, so have to fit in time for him now and again.

It means that I don't have much time at all to spend with friends. It was a decision I made to move on in my life and try to chase a career that I could really enjoy and I was willing to make the sacrifice of having limited free time for a few years but it isn't always easy for my friends to see it that way and I'm sure some of them feel abandoned. It makes matters worse that I met my man in the middle of it all because some friends seem to believe that he's the problem and that I'm choosing him over them (which I'm not....in fact, the last time I saw him was a month ago!) but even when you try to explain things to them, some just don't want to know.

To be honest, I'm not worried. I try to touch base with my friends via texts or facebook messages even when I don't have time to spend with them and I kinda reckon that the friends that are still there for me at the end of this period will have proven themselves to be really good friends by letting me put them aside for a few years in order to follow my dreams.

As other people have said, there's always the chance of meeting new people by joining groups, clubs etc. but it is hard sometimes. I make friends quite easily in 1 to 1 settings but if I'm part of a big group then I tend to become quite quiet and introvert. People from work can become good friends as well if you work with people round about your own age. I guess all you can do is try and see where things lead with people. Sometimes you meet friends in the strangest of places as well!

I don't have a whole lot of advice for you except to say I am in the same boat. I moved after high school for 2 1/2 years and my high school friends and I went our separate ways. Then. I became friends with the friends of whoever I happened to be dating at the time. Well, we all know how that goes... once you split, you usually lose the friends, too. I actually ended up moving back to my hometown and everyone has gotten married, has children, and does their own thing for the most part (these are the people I went to HS with or was good friends with). I can count on one hand the number of "true" friends I have that aren't just acquaintances, and sometimes it saddens me. But, like someone else said, we tend to outgrow people.

I hope you can get out of this funk and that you make some new friends. Best of luck!

I'm there now. I'm 25, as well. I moved down to Virginia from Jersey to be with my fiance, leaving my family and friends behind. I got a job and worked very hard....between the new environment, workplace, etc. I lost most of my friends from lack of contact. Even the two I'm in touch with are in the same position themselves, so I rarely hear from them. I made no friends at the place I worked and was miserable, so I quit. I got a seasonal job and met a few really great people, developing a friendship with one. I also have a few people that I regularly see at the animal shelter where I volunteer. Hopefully some of those will turn into friendships!

I find making friends very hard. While I am social at work or when volunteering, I have serious issues opening up to people. Making friends for me is hard, as I am insecure at times and I'm a sensitive person. Making friends requires opening up, so I need to work on that.

I would recommend volunteering for something you care for or get involved with a class at the gym. Having a similar interest with people or working towards a common goal has an uncanny way of bringing people closer together. This has been my experience, at least.

Good luck, hun!! Please friend me if you like.

Yes I was popular in HS, yes I make freinds easily. yes i look the part..but I have a hard time keeping up a persona constantly. I think that is common amongst "people persons".

Luckily (hahhaha) I live in my home town and all my girl friends from HS know Iam a hermit in real life and they still love me...

Freindships take on different meanings later in life, but i am finding that friends are important. some freinds i see weekly some I see a few times a year. they all hold a special place in my heart, and play a different role in my life.

I would be lost without my girl friends...and a few years ago I would not have said that.

i feel like im in the same boat as you, lately i feel like i have out grown all my friends because i have a young family and try to juggle college and a work placement too. I feel as though they dont make time for me anymore and im constantly the one doing the running. Its got to the point where i dont bother anymore so neither do they but have come to the conclusion that i dont need them anyway :explode: :explode: :explode:

No advice here, hell if it were not for my friends persistence with me, I would be the habitual Billy-no-mates LOL!

I like my own company, that's my problem, in fact, being surrounded by people for too long seems to send me off my own path, whatever that may be. Perhaps you are the same.

I am the same exact way!

"Every heartbeat holds a lesson. Wisdom is found in listening to the lessons of your heart." ~ Ruthie Inacay

"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The red thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." ~ Ancient Chinese Proverb

There is something splendid about the simple act of knocking on your neighbor's door to "borrow" a cup of sugar. It's brilliant, running out of sugar. Now a days, we don't really need sugar, but the truth is, we do. We need more sugar now, than we ever have before.

You see, the gift of lack, is kindness. It is also courage and merely for the "asking." That is the gift.

A couple of days ago, my heart was literally breaking.

As you may know, life changes can greatly impact our well being, eating habits, and activity schedule. So I think I ate as much as I cried. Given this, I realized that I REALLY need to work on my coping skills. But the gift of my broken heart were the "angels" that were drawn to it. I'm not talking about literal angels. I'm talking about the people kind. The guy you don't know that passes you by jogging. The woman you would never normally talk to, but because she is not your kind of people. The irritating student in class that you would like to hit over the head with your books. You'll be surprised where your angels will come from.

So my friend, follow your "gut". By simply asking for support, your angels are on the way. They have been waiting for you to simply whisper your need.

This is me too....i have done a lot of different things in my young life music/dance and now for my health gym. I meet lots of people but i just don't care much about others to keep in contact. I get their numbers and everything but I just don't find interest to ask them about their life or anything like that so I guess they don't care about me either. The only time i end up caring about someone is when I crush on a girl haha...

I completely don't have many friends at all because I chose not too. It's hard finding real, true friends

I'm a lot like you. It seems you are an introvert.

For me, instead of focusing on having a lot of friends and a big social network, I just have a handful of very close friends and the rest are acquaintances. My close friends, I try to call at least once per week and go out with at least once per month. It's hard with all of our careers being busy and stressful, but it's important that I make time for them. I only have 4 people I consider "good friends" enough to work on the relationship. The rest are family and acquaintances.

I used to let my friendships just fizzle out and be alone, but I am very happy knowing I can pickup the phone and call my best friend if I need to. She doesn't judge me, and I do the same for her. That is invaluable.