Things people who are trying to lose weight say that bother

quitmakingexcuses
quitmakingexcuses Posts: 906 Member
edited November 10 in Chit-Chat
A friend on my fiancee's FB was complaining that she just can't lose weight and keeps gaining it back from the fad diets she keeps trying. A few people in the comments posted and said 'just eat right and exercise and it will stay off'. Her response was..

"..screw you all who said eat right and workout, if it were that simple wed all be healthy fit beautiful models."

I understand that people have to be ready to lose weight, but really? I guess it's hard for me to understand how people just expect the weight to come off magically and stay off while you're still eating junk.
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Replies

  • Sound's like my mom. She's always been overweight. She now has diabetes. Always complaining about her weight, but then goes and eats total junk. What can you say to people though? Nothing I say to her makes a difference.
  • justle
    justle Posts: 275 Member
    i got a friend like that, she'll moan and winge about being overweight yet she'll eat enough for 2/3 knowing its not healthy and shrugs it off yet convinved about fad diets! silly!
  • quitmakingexcuses
    quitmakingexcuses Posts: 906 Member
    Yeah, it's so frustrating!! And it's like, you just want to help but if they don't want it, they just won't listen!
  • Yeah. Sometime's people need to hit their rock bottom before they can commit to changing their way of life for good.
  • reedkaus
    reedkaus Posts: 250 Member
    right there with you! it's not about fad diets and quick fixes! it's like come on people, realize that you need to make a lifestyle change and embrace it.

    the one i hate the most "it's my genes. i just can't lose weight"

    i'll give it to you, some people have a harder time than others (me included) but that doesn't make it impossible, it just means you have to find what works for you and stick to it.

    good luck to everyone out there!
  • jocember
    jocember Posts: 31 Member
    I agree, that is frustrating! I've had a few friends/acquaintances flat-out REFUSE to believe me when I tell them all I've done to lose weight is eat right and exercise. One person called me selfish for holding out my secret on her. lol!
  • Kristina0202
    Kristina0202 Posts: 188 Member
    My best friend wants to lose weight, but then she goes to Waffle House at 2am and gets mad at me for only getting a water.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
    People want to be thinner. They don't want to actually have to lose weight. They are looking for the lottery ticket.
  • You can lead a horse to the water but you cannot make it drink, sadly people want excuses for being overweight so that they do not have to take responsibility for their own bodies. Usually those people are emotionally stunted, they aren't seeing what's really happening to their bodies and what they are doing to it.

    Rather pity them. It's terrible to live a life of lies like that and sadly it's up to them to wake up.
  • rolliepollie087
    rolliepollie087 Posts: 251 Member
    Someone I know flat out refuses to acknowledge the existence of calories...
  • CaptainMFP
    CaptainMFP Posts: 440 Member
    Not to sound like I'm defending your friend, but I'm sympathetic to the response in this sense: assuming you have a normal physiology, there is truth that controlling caloric intake will lead to weight loss; but IMPLEMENTING these changes is far harder than many people (particularly in MFP) seem willing to acknowledge. Real and successful weight loss requires major behavioral change, the implementation of which is never easy. I've always found it platitudinous to wave the "eat less and exercise more" banner without simultaneously discussing and acknowledging the complex behavioral change that must ensue.

    I suppose the short version of my point is this: people who say eat less and exercise more very frequently present this as a simple solution...which it is anything but. (Note I'm speaking as someone who's made the modifications successfully for 10 months and is approaching goal. I'm not defending excuse-making; I'm pointing out how difficult this really is.)
  • You can lead a horse to the water but you cannot make it drink, sadly people want excuses for being overweight so that they do not have to take responsibility for their own bodies. Usually those people are emotionally stunted, they aren't seeing what's really happening to their bodies and what they are doing to it.

    Rather pity them. It's terrible to live a life of lies like that and sadly it's up to them to wake up.

    Although its taken me 2 years to admit it.. I was just like this until about 5months ago! I had to really hit the bottom before I would admit it to even myself, that what I was doing wrong! I'd eat take-aways and chocolate.. and think that as long as I didn't eat bad stuff the next day, that it wouldn't matter, but then i'd do the same the day after! It's mad to think about what I used to eat, and my feelings towards it, yet all the time I was getting more and more depressed about what I looked like! One day it just hit me, and now i feel so much fitter and healthier! And even managed to lose 5lbs this week through "Eat less, Excersise more!"
    I only have MFP and all the fab people who use it to thank! :)
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    Not to sound like I'm defending your friend, but I'm sympathetic to the response in this sense: assuming you have a normal physiology, there is truth that controlling caloric intake will lead to weight loss; but IMPLEMENTING these changes is far harder than many people (particularly in MFP) seem willing to acknowledge. Real and successful weight loss requires major behavioral change, the implementation of which is never easy. I've always found it platitudinous to wave the "eat less and exercise more" banner without simultaneously discussing and acknowledging the complex behavioral change that must ensue.

    I suppose the short version of my point is this: people who say eat less and exercise more very frequently present this as a simple solution...which it is anything but. (Note I'm speaking as someone who's made the modifications successfully for 10 months and is approaching goal. I'm not defending excuse-making; I'm pointing out how difficult this really is.)
    You act like we're planning a trip to the outer reaches of the solar system.

    Coming from someone who use to weigh 300 plus pounds, and who has kept the weight off for 4 years. I believe I have first hand account on how "hard" it is.

    Here are the facts:
    1. People don't want to change their habits - They want to continue to do what they are doing, yet they want the ultimate body.
    2. Unrealistic weight loss expectations - I blame all the fad diets and marketing scams on this one. Weight loss has and never will be linear.
    3. Ridiculous information floating around the web and via the word of mouth - We encounter enough BS in our lives, now we have to deal with fitness BS. For example, eating multiple meals a day (BS), not eating carbs after 6pm (BS). It's especially worse for women trying to sort through the nonsense.
  • Troy67
    Troy67 Posts: 556 Member
    I guarantee none of the magic pills, creams, supplements, etc work worth a crap. lol I have been overweight since 11 or 12 and tried it all to no avail. I weighed 336 pounds in September 2005. I finally changed my entire lifestyle and am now maintaining at 171. I now appreciate all the hard work it takes and do not want to gain weight and ever have to do that work again.
    I have friends on FB that do the same thing. Every time I turn around they are spouting off about some new weight loss tea that burns 700 calories just by drinking a cup, or a juice or something that burns fat off with no exercise, dieting needed. And they always jump right in and try to sell the crap to their friends. The thing is, every time I see a picture of them they are bigger than the last time I saw them. I want to say somethinhg, but figure they will just get mad at me. I suppose they will have to have an epiphany like I did and do the right thing for themselves when they are ready to see it for what it is.
    It too 30 years of thinking like that for me to realize that I can eat several times a day, never be hungry and lose weight. I kind of like that and do not plan on changing back to the old ways. lol
  • SilverStrychnine
    SilverStrychnine Posts: 413 Member
    A friend on my fiancee's FB was complaining that she just can't lose weight and keeps gaining it back from the fad diets she keeps trying. A few people in the comments posted and said 'just eat right and exercise and it will stay off'. Her response was..

    "..screw you all who said eat right and workout, if it were that simple wed all be healthy fit beautiful models."

    Yeah, because it's just SO EASY for the rest of us! It's hard work for all of us!
  • rovernio
    rovernio Posts: 157
    eating multiple meals a day is not bs it helps you fight hunger
  • Not that I am into conspiracies but I truly believe that many of the "junk foods" that people eat are modified in a way to be more addictive. I do believe that the less processed food is the better it is for you. That said I have to be very careful when donuts are around because I just can't resist them. Isn't that just dumb! Why should it be hard not to eat something??? Oh well.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
    Sounds like my gfs family. They all want to lose weight, but fall off the wagon, wont record their calories, wont exercise, etc.
  • Hey You! ~thinking of getting healthy?...
    Try these tips:

    #1) you have to be fed up....(sick n tired of being sick n tired)
    #2) you have to do it for yourself
    #3) you have to make a plan and stick to it
    #4) start with baby steps if you have to ....
    #5) take it one day at a time
    #6) mix it up ( your diet and your exercise )- so you don't get bored
    #7) have accountability partners (MFP!!!)
    #8) set short term and long term goals
    #9) make Yourself, Your Life, Your Health, a Priority

    Well Done You!!!
    :heart:
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    eating multiple meals a day is not bs it helps you fight hunger
    Sure it does....
  • zlem
    zlem Posts: 92
    my mother-in-law, sitting around the table after someone mentioning the fact I lost a few kilos

    "These young ones lose the weight SOOOO easily, they don't have to work hard like people like me! I work and work and work and never lose anything!"

    arggh makes me want to scream sometimes.. just put down cheesecake and stop deep-frying everything. Stop wasting money on "fat blaster" and optifast and all that other stuff, won't do much when you have bacon and eggs and hash browns and sausages for breakfast EVERY morning.

    She's 65ish and has been obese since she got married at 20, been "trying" to lose weight ever since. I feel sorry for her but that's hard to do sometimes because she always has some ****ty little snide remark towards everything I do.

    woops that turned into a bit of a rant hah. sorry =)
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    a co-worker at work and I started losing weight together a couple years ago. I did MFP while she's done just about every single diet you can think of. Dunkan, Paleo, Jorge Cruze, 17 day, etc etc. I've been losing steadily. the most she's lost is 50 lbs. infact she was within 25 lbs. of reaching her goal weight. however she isn't consistent and has gained it all back.

    she blames her age. she is in her early 50's. I told her no and shown her pictures of folks her age on here that succeed. I tried to get her to join MFP but she doesn't want to track calories. Says it's too hard and it won't work. I point out it works for me and she counters with me being young. I point out the older people on here that lose just fine and keep it off and still refuses to try it. She has collected tons of diet books and she'll be good for a few weeks following their guidelines but then she'll go back to her old habits and whatever she lost, she gains again. she blames boredom. She'll get bored with it and stop. I have tried over and over to get her to sign up to MFP but she doesn't want to. I just kind of gave up with her. I'll still go on walks with her, hit the YMCA together etc etc but when it comes to the diet part it's like hitting my head against a wall.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I strongly believe it IS just a question of eating right and exercising, but I know that people have an emotional attachment, even addiction to food that makes that very hard, which is where these plans come in.

    They work for some people because they understand the intention behind them - breaking the addiction to food, but they don't work for people who don't get it. I went to a party last week with a lot of people doing one of these plans, and they all had plates piled absolutely to the top with "allowed" foods - chilli, baked potato, pasta salad, ham and salami. I was there eating one spoonful of vegetable chilli and one of greek salad, with a big green salad on the side, no dressing. They were all laughing at how little I eat, and how I am obsessive about exercise, and I just sat there thinking "and I am a size 8 (UK), and you are obese....can you not see what is going on here?" But apparently they couldn't. I logged my meal after and it came to 600 cals, so goodness knows what their's were. You can't say anything to people who think like that, because it would be tactless and downright rude, but you have to be realistic.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    I get told its really easy for me and I don't know what its like to be fat and over weight. Thats a guess people actually get wrong. At one point I was 270lb at about 30% body fat.

    The simple fact is I spend probably 10 hours a week lifting, every day preparing and eating 6-8 set meals and sticking to it and eating only what I need. When I cut, there is prolly another 10-14 hours a week of cardio on top, its not easy. It is NOT easy for anyone - it is simply take will power and a strong desire to succeed.

    The major problem is junk gives an endorphin rush chemically very similar to drugs and thus the mind can become addicted to them. Its a tough cycle to crack one in it. It also doesn't help from young we were rewarded by parents with sweets or ice cream or the like for doing well/listening/eating all our meals etc - works against our programming not to reward ourselves with food.
  • Givemewings
    Givemewings Posts: 864 Member
    I have a friend who wants to lose weight. I tried to tell her about MFP , how fab it was and how I had lost the weight steadily through sensible eating and exercise. She told me that her other friend was trying to lose weight and had said the only way to lose weight was to go on a really strict diet and not eat much and she agreed with her. I was quite shocked. Her loss I suppose.
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
    I've got the funniest fad diet ever:

    My sister told me that instead of using MFP that helped me loose 11kg, she decided to try her friends diet which was 'eat ONLY cous-cous for an entire month until she lost enough weight' but instead of cous-cous she said she'd do the 'fruit only' diet.

    I warned her about binging and the unrealistic nature of this absurd phenomenon, needless to say I don't even think she finished 24hrs on this thing.

    Some people look optimistically at fad diets because they seem easy. They don't realise what I've been saying all along - after a month of doing MFP it becomes so easy and you think of food in an entirely different way. It does get tricky sometimes but really all it is is moderation.

    I made a low-fat vs. of my mothers lasagne and instead of finishing off half the pot, I only had two slices. Yesterday I had one small plain hamburger from McDonalds instead of an entire quarter-pounder meal. Moderation is key, and really really simple once you get the hang of it.
  • its tough when its the ones you care about getting on like that. You want them to feel better, and be able to do it... but at the end of the day they have to want to do it. Just like every one of us that came here.

    Actually my father had a heart attack not that long ago, hes completely changed his diet. His diet prior to the heart attack would probably have put me to shame... (it was already pretty healthy) so hes now completely cut out everything bad, dropped about 2 stone in a matter of weeks. I'm actually a little concerned that hes gone a bit too far. His complexion is grey.. and hes lost maybe a bit too much weight... :/
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    A friend on my fiancee's FB was complaining that she just can't lose weight and keeps gaining it back from the fad diets she keeps trying. A few people in the comments posted and said 'just eat right and exercise and it will stay off'. Her response was..

    "..screw you all who said eat right and workout, if it were that simple wed all be healthy fit beautiful models."

    I understand that people have to be ready to lose weight, but really? I guess it's hard for me to understand how people just expect the weight to come off magically and stay off while you're still eating junk.

    Ask me how I lost weight and then refuse to accept the answer - "I ate less, I moved more" - they prefer to hear some magical solution.. or will go on about various diets (Atkins, low GI, etc) they are trying or want to try.
  • LemonSocks
    LemonSocks Posts: 238 Member
    People can be reluctant to give the health eating/exercising thing a go because it's too slow. A fad diet promises to drop 10lbs a week and people love the sound of those kind of results. It's supposed to be easy. You eat x or don't eat y for a week and the wait will fall off. You tell them it'll take 5 weeks to drop those "same" 10lbs and they won't do it.

    The ironic thing is once you get into the swing of watching your calories it really is very easy, but this is the kind of 'diet' that people are only going to take up if they want to change their lives, and not just drop some immediate weight.
  • hellokathy
    hellokathy Posts: 540 Member
    Basically, I try not to be judgemental about this because I'm sort of like "each to their own" about this. After all, if people try, sorry, idiotic things to lose weight and fail, it's their loss (or lack thereof), not mine. The only thing that bothers me is when friends come up to me and complain about not losing weight after trying the millionth silly diet they got out of a girly magazine and I tell them that's not the way to go and they still won't listen and make it sound like I'm not supportive enough because I don't tell them that this is such a great idea and it's gonna be SO easy and go SO well.
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