would it be crossing a line to...

chanstriste13
chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
edited November 10 in Chit-Chat
give my neighbor some flowers?

we hear her through her walls and our own screaming and crying *extremely* loudly. it's happened on a few occassions over the course of about two years. she lives alone - young doctoral student. we *think* it must have to do with the stress of her program, but we're not sure. the first time we heard her, we thought someone she loved must have died, but then it happened again not long after.

i would like to leave a small boquet with a little note just telling her that i hope she has good days, but i don't know if that would be weird for her or not. we're not close - ocassionally housesit for each other and talk when we meet up on our driveway sometimes.

what say you?
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Replies

  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    hmmm this is difficult, because she might be embarrassed. She might also really appreciate it, thats a tough call
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

    It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    sounds like a can of worms I wouldn't want to open, unless you are willing and have the time to hear some sob story ( not serious)

    ( kind of serious )

    she would probably like it very much, it would be a very nice gesture.
  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
    I think it would be awesome. Just look at it this way, how would you feel if someone gave you flowers just to brighten up your day? I know I'd love it!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    give my neighbor some flowers?

    we hear her through her walls and our own screaming and crying *extremely* loudly. it's happened on a few occassions over the course of about two years. she lives alone - young doctoral student. we *think* it must have to do with the stress of her program, but we're not sure. the first time we heard her, we thought someone she loved must have died, but then it happened again not long after.

    i would like to leave a small boquet with a little note just telling her that i hope she has good days, but i don't know if that would be weird for her or not. we're not close - ocassionally housesit for each other and talk when we meet up on our driveway sometimes.

    what say you?
    Nice gestures are always a go so long as your motives are pure.
    Your situation is a perfect example.

    Good Luck!
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    I don't see what harm it could do. :flowerforyou:
  • ineedhelp18
    ineedhelp18 Posts: 37 Member
    i would do it
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.
  • itontae
    itontae Posts: 138 Member
    What a lovely thing to think of.
    Pease do it.
    You have brightened my day just posting that.
    Thank you
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    It would be a very kind gesture, and she need not know why you are doing it.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.
    "Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"
    anonymous

    Something like that?:wink:
  • Destinie589
    Destinie589 Posts: 211
    Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

    It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

    This!
  • Lona728
    Lona728 Posts: 105
    Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

    It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

    I agree 100% with this ^
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,226 Member
    I think it's a nice gesture.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

    It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

    This. If I were having rough times this would brighten my day. It would be very nice thing on your part to do! But agree~ not putting who it's from would save you both from awkwardness.
  • BeckZombie
    BeckZombie Posts: 138 Member
    Go for it! I know I'd appreciate it if someone did that for me.
  • memcd911
    memcd911 Posts: 230 Member
    Sweet gesture. More people should be like you.
  • 2012Wendy
    2012Wendy Posts: 21
    Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.
    "Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"

    anonymous

    Like that?:wink:

    If I lived alone and got a note that someone was always watching me, I'd probably report it to the police! :laugh: Sorry, that would scare me a bit!
  • rthompson81
    rthompson81 Posts: 305 Member
    Well, I'm a single doctoral student. If my neighbors got me "pity" flowers or "sorry you're so stressed" flowers, I would be offended. I chose this route for my life. If my neighbors got me "just because" flowers I would be delighted. And if I got anonymous flowers, it would frustrate me because I would wonder who in the world had sent them and I wouldn't be able to enjoy them. That being said, I say choose the second option. :)
  • ArwenP
    ArwenP Posts: 53 Member
    I think Valentines day is for friends too; and if she watches your house for you when you're gone, she's a friend, even if you aren't really close. I don't see any harm in giving her some flowers and just saying you appreciate her being a great neighbor.
  • ctaylor1983
    ctaylor1983 Posts: 1
    Sadly she may not even know she screams/cries at night. My mum has severe anxiety attacks about going to bed and screams but if you talk to her about it the next day she doesn't know she has done it so there is the potential for embarrassment.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Nice gestures are always a go so long as your motives are pure.
    Your situation is a perfect example.

    Good Luck!

    exactly. just a small understated bouquet and simple note wishing her a good day. Very sweet of you!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.
    "Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"

    anonymous

    Like that?:wink:

    If I lived alone and got a note that someone was always watching me, I'd probably report it to the police! :laugh: Sorry, that would scare me a bit!
    I should send flowers with a similar note to all those who owe me money. :drinker:

    As for the OP's situation, people reaching out to people is a good thing. Neighbors should get to know one another, and she does not need to know why.
    We just wanted to say hello, because you are our neighbor.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

    It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.
    I agree with this.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
    I like the flowers and a note idea, though not a message that reveals that you know something's going on (odd as it sounds, even if she knows you know, bringing it up turns it from something appreciated to a little embarrassing). Just a note wishing her a good day or something sounds like a really nice gesture. When people are going through a hard time, reaching out to them is just a really great thing to do. :flowerforyou: for being so nice!
  • PoorGirlEatingHealthy
    PoorGirlEatingHealthy Posts: 209
    I would say to leave it anonymous because it might make her feel funny about de-stressing in the future if she knows you can hear her. I have some noisy neighbors myself but I would feel so weird saying that we could hear their business! It is also kinda awkward for us at times because if I can hear them they can certainly hear us!
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    Valentines is the perfect occasion. A small bouquet. But, I'd tell her who it was from. If she's living alone, she might think stalker... Just let her know it's no biggie- you saw them and thought of her and know she's got a lot on her plate and thought it might make her smile. Let her think it was a spur of the moment thing, only.
  • chefshawnpratt
    chefshawnpratt Posts: 1 Member
    do it. simply a kind gesture.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    It's sweet, but don't tell her it's because you hear her crying or anything. Sign the card so she knows it's from you, but say it's just to brighten her day because you know how hard school must be. Something like that.
  • MoonMyst3
    MoonMyst3 Posts: 423 Member
    A small bouquet. But, I'd tell her who it was from. If she's living alone, she might think stalker... Just let her know it's no biggie- you saw them and thought of her and know she's got a lot on her plate and thought it might make her smile. Let her think it was a spur of the moment thing, only.

    This.... and how thoughtful of you! :smile:
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