would it be crossing a line to...

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  • ctaylor1983
    ctaylor1983 Posts: 1
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    Sadly she may not even know she screams/cries at night. My mum has severe anxiety attacks about going to bed and screams but if you talk to her about it the next day she doesn't know she has done it so there is the potential for embarrassment.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Nice gestures are always a go so long as your motives are pure.
    Your situation is a perfect example.

    Good Luck!

    exactly. just a small understated bouquet and simple note wishing her a good day. Very sweet of you!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.
    "Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"

    anonymous

    Like that?:wink:

    If I lived alone and got a note that someone was always watching me, I'd probably report it to the police! :laugh: Sorry, that would scare me a bit!
    I should send flowers with a similar note to all those who owe me money. :drinker:

    As for the OP's situation, people reaching out to people is a good thing. Neighbors should get to know one another, and she does not need to know why.
    We just wanted to say hello, because you are our neighbor.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
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    Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

    It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.
    I agree with this.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    I like the flowers and a note idea, though not a message that reveals that you know something's going on (odd as it sounds, even if she knows you know, bringing it up turns it from something appreciated to a little embarrassing). Just a note wishing her a good day or something sounds like a really nice gesture. When people are going through a hard time, reaching out to them is just a really great thing to do. :flowerforyou: for being so nice!
  • PoorGirlEatingHealthy
    PoorGirlEatingHealthy Posts: 209
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    I would say to leave it anonymous because it might make her feel funny about de-stressing in the future if she knows you can hear her. I have some noisy neighbors myself but I would feel so weird saying that we could hear their business! It is also kinda awkward for us at times because if I can hear them they can certainly hear us!
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Valentines is the perfect occasion. A small bouquet. But, I'd tell her who it was from. If she's living alone, she might think stalker... Just let her know it's no biggie- you saw them and thought of her and know she's got a lot on her plate and thought it might make her smile. Let her think it was a spur of the moment thing, only.
  • chefshawnpratt
    chefshawnpratt Posts: 1 Member
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    do it. simply a kind gesture.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    It's sweet, but don't tell her it's because you hear her crying or anything. Sign the card so she knows it's from you, but say it's just to brighten her day because you know how hard school must be. Something like that.
  • MoonMyst3
    MoonMyst3 Posts: 423 Member
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    A small bouquet. But, I'd tell her who it was from. If she's living alone, she might think stalker... Just let her know it's no biggie- you saw them and thought of her and know she's got a lot on her plate and thought it might make her smile. Let her think it was a spur of the moment thing, only.

    This.... and how thoughtful of you! :smile:
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 7,886 Member
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    Oh, give the poor doctoral student some flowers! My daughter is working on her PhD, and believe me the stress is unbelievable. How nice of you to consider it! Yes, say it is from her neighbors, but I wouldn't mention that you hear her crying. :flowerforyou:
  • DQMD
    DQMD Posts: 193
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    I would do that but say it is from person in your apt number. Say nothing about hearing her cry. When I was doing my MS degree there was nights that I fell asleep at my desk doing homework.
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
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    Give her flowers... And cookies! Everyone loves cookies!

    It's a lovely gesture and if she asks why say you give gifts to friends and neighbours on valentines day for fun (not because she's alone)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    DON'T do it anonymously!!

    If I got anonymous flowers I wouldn't be able to sleep wondering who they were from. Stupid idea, personally. Or she might even get scared wondering if she has a stalker or something.
  • ELIZACAY236
    ELIZACAY236 Posts: 39 Member
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    Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.
    "Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"

    anonymous

    Like that?:wink:

    If I lived alone and got a note that someone was always watching me, I'd probably report it to the police! :laugh: Sorry, that would scare me a bit!

    I almost fell off the couch when I read this! Very good intentions but I agree, 'i am always watching you' may not be the right choice of words.
  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
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    I would do it! :flowerforyou:
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    thanks for all of your responses! i was not even thinking of tomorrow being valentine's day - that's the perfect cover!
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
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    DON'T do it anonymously!!

    If I got anonymous flowers I wouldn't be able to sleep wondering who they were from. Stupid idea, personally. Or she might even get scared wondering if she has a stalker or something.
    Yeah, I would just say who it is from. Her mind might really run wild if they are sent anonymously.

    As someone who just finished her doctorate and spent many an afternoon pacing in my living room and sobbing, I think this is a really sweet thought. :happy:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    Sounds like she has bigger issues than the stress of her program. I get stressed but I don't scream and cry every day. That being said, I think an anonymous little card would be cute!
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
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    DO IT. Not anonymously but yea. Random acts of kindness can make a world of difference to someone.

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