Need some advice about my mum

i'm very sorry for your struggle as i have a similar issue. from my personal experience, someone has to "get it" themselves and no one (no matter what!) can make them get into a healthy lifestyle until THEY ARE READY. we have tried several approaches with my mom, including my brother berating her, throwing out all her food, etc. she even had a heart attack & stroke. upon her recovery, she still doesn't lead a healthy lifestyle. as hard and sad as it is, you just have to leave her alone. continue to make healthy choices when she is around, and encourage her as best you can, but there is no way to "make" someone change their life. :frown:

[...] Pushing will only push her away. She knows what she has to do. Lead by example.

Lead by example. Maybe for this you could spend some time in the kitchen (hers or yours) and try cooking new recipes together, with the emphasis being on the recipe seeming similar to what she would normally enjoy (less emphasis on the interesting 'healthicized' components). Don't talk about caloric content or how the cheese (that you purchased for it) is part-skim or has less calories; though that will be in your mind, you don't want that to be in hers. For her, you're enjoying quality time together and working towards a meal that will taste great. Sometimes people believe in their heart-of-hearts that they honestly just won't enjoy the food very much if it's a little healthier. It's a real conflict because it's a suspicion that the decision to eat healthier is to let go of something that is very much a pleasure in a life not necessarily overflowing with them.

And congratulations on your own success. Your becoming healthier has continuing impact on her, even if you can't find any evidence of it right now. Through decisive actions, you are healthier and happier, and that can't be 100% filtered away. I believe it's a blessing to help others find their way to their fullest potential. But I also fully believe that strengthening oneself is the absolute foundation to helping others. You can help more and in far more ways, and then enjoy the full cycle that is empowering her is empowering you is empowering her..

Try for recipe-nights, no health talk (for now), and hang in there, inspiring her in that invisible way you do.

[One more thing: make sure you have (or provide) all the ingredients beforehand!]

You can't force someone to change. I know it's hard to watch. Just let her know you want to help her when she's ready. Try coming over and cooking for her, or with her. Bring over healthy options that you enjoy. Tell her about your own success. Hopefully she'll want to follow suit and want to be apart of your new life style.

Well although I agree with everyone on here that it is her decision I think you need to interveine tell her that your scared and worried and tell her you will do it together. and if your that worried get some infrmation leaflets and choose your time and sit down with her she may get upset but is because she knows your right. I lost my mum to Cancer when I was 20 and she was 50 and i tell you what I wish her only issue had been her weight. I think you need to be cruel to be kind and maybe say to her "how would you feel if you was me and I was killing myself for some nice food?" suggest meeting up every day for that walk motivation is what has kept me going recently and I only get that from those around me and you guys ! Tell her how much you love her every day and remind her that in 20 years you still want to be able to say that to her,

Good Luck I feel your pain I really do x x x x x